three men on the bummel-第32章

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curiosity　to　see　one。　　I　may；〃　continued　Mr。　X。；〃I　mean　it　is
possible；　that　I　may　be　home　a　little　late。〃

〃What　do　you　call　late？〃　asked　Mrs。　X。

〃It　is　somewhat　difficult　to　say；〃　returned　Mr。　X。　　〃You　see　these
students；　they　are　a　wild　lot；　and　when　they　get　togetherAnd
then；　I　believe；　a　good　many　toasts　are　drunk。　　I　don't　know　how　it
will　affect　me。　　If　I　can　see　an　opportunity　I　shall　come　away
early；　that　is　if　I　can　do　so　without　giving　offence；　but　if　not〃

Said　Mrs。　X。；　who；　as　I　remarked　before；　was　a　sensible　woman：
〃You　had　better　get　the　people　here　to　lend　you　a　latchkey。　　I
shall　sleep　with　Dolly；　and　then　you　won't　disturb　me　whatever　time
it　may　be。〃

〃I　think　that　an　excellent　idea　of　yours；〃　agreed　Mr。　X。　　〃I　should
hate　disturbing　you。　　I　shall　just　come　in　quietly；　and　slip　into
bed。〃

Some　time　in　the　middle　of　the　night；　or　maybe　towards　the　early
morning；　Dolly；　who　was　Mrs。　X。's　sister；　sat　up　in　bed　and
listened。

〃Jenny；〃　said　Dolly；　〃are　you　awake？〃

〃Yes；　dear；〃　answered　Mrs。　X。　　〃It's　all　right。　　You　go　to　sleep
again。〃

〃But　whatever　is　it？〃　asked　Dolly。　　〃Do　you　think　it's　fire？〃

〃I　expect；〃　replied　Mrs。　X。；　〃that　it's　Percy。　　Very　possibly　he
has　stumbled　over　something　in　the　dark。　　Don't　you　worry；　dear；
you　go　to　sleep。〃

But　so　soon　as　Dolly　had　dozed　off　again；　Mrs。　X。；　who　was　a　good
wife；　thought　she　would　steal　off　softly　and　see　to　it　that　Percy
was　all　right。　　So；　putting　on　a　dressing…gown　and　slippers；　she
crept　along　the　passage　and　into　her　own　room。　　To　awake　the
gentleman　on　the　bed　would　have　required　an　earthquake。　　She　lit　a
candle　and　stole　over　to　the　bedside。

It　was　not　Percy；　it　was　not　anyone　like　Percy。　　She　felt　it　was
not　the　man　that　ever　could　have　been　her　husband；　under　any
circumstances。　　In　his　present　condition　her　sentiment　towards　him
was　that　of　positive　dislike。　　Her　only　desire　was　to　get　rid　of
him。

But　something　there　was　about　him　which　seemed　familiar　to　her。
She　went　nearer；　and　took　a　closer　view。　　Then　she　remembered。
Surely　it　was　Mr。　Y。；　a　gentleman　at　whose　flat　she　and　Percy　had
dined　the　day　they　first　arrived　in　Berlin。

But　what　was　he　doing　here？　　She　put　the　candle　on　the　table；　and
taking　her　head　between　her　hands　sat　down　to　think。　　The
explanation　of　the　thing　came　to　her　with　a　rush。　　It　was　with　this
Mr。　Y。　that　Percy　had　gone　to　the　Kneipe。　　A　mistake　had　been　made。
Mr。　Y。　had　been　brought　back　to　Percy's　address。　　Percy　at　this
very　moment　…

The　terrible　possibilities　of　the　situation　swam　before　her。
Returning　to　Dolly's　room；　she　dressed　herself　hastily；　and
silently　crept　downstairs。　　Finding；　fortunately；　a　passing　night…
cab；　she　drove　to　the　address　of　Mrs。　Y。　　Telling　the　man　to　wait；
she　flew　upstairs　and　rang　persistently　at　the　bell。　　It　was　opened
as　before　by　Mrs。　Y。；　still　in　her　tea…gown；　and　with　her　book
still　in　her　hand。

〃Mrs。　X。！〃　exclaimed　Mrs。　Y。　　〃Whatever　brings　you　here？〃

〃My　husband！〃　was　all　poor　Mrs。　X。　could　think　to　say　at　the
moment；　〃is　he　here？〃

〃Mrs。　X。；〃　returned　Mrs。　Y。；　drawing　herself　up　to　her　full　height；
〃how　dare　you？〃

〃Oh；　please　don't　misunderstand　me！〃　pleaded　Mrs。　X。　　〃It's　all　a
terrible　mistake。　　They　must　have　brought　poor　Percy　here　instead
of　to　our　place；　I'm　sure　they　must。　　Do　please　look　and　see。〃

〃My　dear；〃　said　Mrs。　Y。；　who　was　a　much　older　woman；　and　more
motherly；　〃don't　excite　yourself。　　They　brought　him　here　about　half
an　hour　ago；　and；　to　tell　you　the　truth；　I　never　looked　at　him。　　He
is　in　here。　　I　don't　think　they　troubled　to　take　off　even　his
boots。　　If　you　keep　cool；　we　will　get　him　downstairs　and　home
without　a　soul　beyond　ourselves　being　any　the　wiser。

Indeed；　Mrs。　Y。　seemed　quite　eager　to　help　Mrs。　X。

She　pushed　open　the　door；　and　Mrs。　X；　went　in。　　The　next　moment　she
came　out　with　a　white；　scared　face。

〃It　isn't　Percy；〃　she　said。　　〃Whatever　am　I　to　do？〃

〃I　wish　you　wouldn't　make　these　mistakes；〃　said　Mrs。　Y。；　moving　to
enter　the　room　herself。

Mrs。　X。　stopped　her。　　〃And　it　isn't　your　husband　either。〃

〃Nonsense；〃　said　Mrs。　Y。

〃It　isn't　really；〃　persisted　Mrs。　X。　　〃I　know；　because　I　have　just
left　him；　asleep　on　Percy's　bed。〃

〃What's　he　doing　there？〃　thundered　Mrs。　Y。

〃They　brought　him　there；　and　put　him　there；〃　explained　Mrs。　X。；
beginning　to　cry。　　〃That's　what　made　me　think　Percy　must　be　here。〃

The　two　women　stood　and　looked　at　one　another；　and　there　was
silence　for　awhile；　broken　only　by　the　snoring　of　the　gentleman　the
other　side　of　the　half…open　door。

〃Then　who　is　that；　in　there？〃　demanded　Mrs。　Y。；　who　was　the　first
to　recover　herself。

〃I　don't　know；〃　answered　Mrs。　X。；　〃I　have　never　seen　him　before。
Do　you　think　it　is　anybody　you　know？〃

But　Mrs。　Y。　only　banged　to　the　door。

〃What　are　we　to　do？〃　said　Mrs。　X。

〃I　know　what　_I_　am　going　to　do；〃　said　Mrs。　Y。　　〃I'm　coming　back
with　you　to　fetch　my　husband。〃

〃He's　very　sleepy；〃　explained　Mrs。　X。

〃I've　known　him　to　be　that　before；〃　replied　Mrs。　Y。；　as　she
fastened　on　her　cloak。

〃But　where's　Percy？〃　sobbed　poor　little　Mrs。　X。；　as　they　descended
the　stairs　together。

〃That　my　dear；〃　said　Mrs。　Y。；　〃will　be　a　question　for　you　to　ask
HIM。〃

〃If　they　go　about　making　mistakes　like　this；〃　said　Mrs。　X。；　〃it　is
impossible　to　say　what　they　may　not　have　done　with　him。〃

〃We　will　make　enquiries　in　the　morning；　my　dear；〃　said　Mrs。　Y。；
consolingly。

〃I　think　these　Kneipes　are　disgraceful　affairs；〃　said　Mrs。　X。　　〃I
shall　never　let　Percy　go　to　another；　neverso　long　as　I　live。〃

〃My　dear；〃　remarked　Mrs。　Y。；　〃if　you　know　your　duty；　he　will　never
want　to。〃　　And　rumour　has　it　that　he　never　did。

But；　as　I　have　said；　the　mistake　was　in　pinning　the　card　to　the
tablecloth　instead　of　to　the　coat。　　And　error　in　this　world　is
always　severely　punished。



CHAPTER　XIV



Which　is　serious：　　as　becomes　a　parting　chapterThe　German　from
the　Anglo…Saxon's　point　of　viewProvidence　in　buttons　and　a
helmetParadise　of　the　helpless　idiotGerman　conscience：　　its
aggressivenessHow　they　hang　in　Germany；　very　possiblyWhat
happens　to　good　Germans　when　they　die？The　military　instinct：　　is
it　all…sufficient？The　German　as　a　shopkeeperHow　he　supports
lifeThe　New　Woman；　here　as　everywhereWhat　can　be　said　against
the　Germans；　as　a　peopleThe　Bummel　is　over　and　done。

〃Anybody　could　rule　this　country；〃　said　George；　〃_I_　could　rule
it。〃

We　were　seated　in　the　garden　of　the　Kaiser　Hof　at　Bonn；　looking
down　upon　the　Rhine。　　It　was　the　last　evening　of　our　Bummel；　the
early　morning　train　would　be　the　beginning　of　the　end。

〃I　should　write　down　all　I　wanted　the　people　to　do　on　a　piece　of
paper；〃　continued　George；　〃get　a　good　firm　to　print　off　so　many
copies；　have　them　posted　about　the　towns　and　villages；　and　the
thing　would　be　done。〃

In　the　placid；　docile　German　of　to…day；　whose　only　ambition　appears
to　be　to　pay　his　taxes；　and　do　what　he　is　told　to　do　by　those　whom
it　has　pleased　Providence　to　place　in　authority　over　him；　it　is
difficult；　one　must　confess；　to　detect　any　trace　of　his　wild
ancestor；　to　whom　individual　liberty　was　as　the　breath　of　his
nostrils；　who　appointed　his　magistrates　to　advise；　but　retained　the
right　of　execution　for　the　tribe；　who　followed　his　chief；　but　would
have　scorned　to　obey　him。　　In　Germany　to…day　one　hears　a　good　deal
concerning　Socialism；　but　it　is　a　Socialism　that　would　only　be
despotism　under　another　name。　　Individualism　makes　no　appeal　to　the
German　voter。　　He　is　willing；　nay；　anxious；　to　be　controlled　and
regulated　in　all　things。　　He　disputes；　not　government；　but　the　form
of　it。　　The　policeman　is　to　him　a　religion；　and；　one　feels；　will
always　remain　so。　　In　England　we　regard　our　man　in　blue　as　a
harmless　necessity。　　By　the　average　citizen　he　is　employed　chiefly
as　a　signpost；　though　in　busy　quarters　of　the　town　he　is　considered
useful　for　taking　old　ladies　across　the　road。　　Beyond　feeling
thankful　to　him　for　these　services；　I　doubt　if　we　take　much　thought
of　him。　　In　Germany；　on　the　other　hand；　he　is　worshipped　as　a
little　god　and　loved　as　a　guardian　angel。　　To　the　German　child　he
is　a　combination　of　Santa　Clans　and　the　Bogie　Man。　　All　good　things
come　from　him：　　Spielplatze　to　play　in；　furnished　with　swings　and
giant…strides；　sand　heaps　to　fight　around；　swimming　baths；　and
fairs。　　All　misbehaviour　is　punished　by　him。　　It　is　the　hope　of
every　well…meaning　German　boy　and　girl　to　please　the　police。　　To　be
smiled　at　by　a　policeman　makes　it　conceited。　　A　German　child　that
has　been　patted　on　the　head　by　a　policeman　is　not　fit　to　live　with；
its　self…importance　is　unbearable。

The　German　citizen　is　a　soldier；　and　the　policeman　is　his　officer。
The　policeman　directs　him　where　in　the　street　to　walk；　and　how　fast
to　walk。　　At　the　end　of　each　bridge　stands　a　policeman　to　tell　the
German　how　to　cross　it。　　Were　there　no　policeman　there；　he　would
probably　sit　down　and　wait　till　the　river　had　passed　by。　　At　the
railway　station　the　policeman　locks　him　up　in　the　waiting…room；
where　he　can　do　no　harm　to　himself。　　When　the　proper　time　arrives；
he　fetches　him　out　and　hands　him　over　to　the　guard　of　the　train；
who　is　only　a　policeman　in　another　uniform。　　The　guard　tells　him
where　to　sit　in　the　train；　and　when　to　get　out；　and　sees　that　he
does　get　out。　　In　Germany　you　take　no　responsibility　upon　yourself
whatever。　　Everything　is　done　for　you；　and　done　well。　　You　are　not
supposed　to　look　after　yourself；　you　are　not　blamed　for　being
incapable　of　looking　after　yourself；　it　is　the　duty　of　the　German
policeman　to　look　after　you。　　That　you　may　be　a　helpless　idiot　does
not　excuse　him　should　anything　happen　to　you。　　Wherever　you　are　and
whatever　you　are　doing　you　are　in　his　charge；　and　he　takes　care　of
yougood　care　of　you；　there　is　no　denying　this。

If　you　lose　yourself；　he　finds　you；　and　if　you　lose　anything
belonging　to　you；　he　recovers　it　for　you。　　If　you　don't　know　what
you　want；　he　tells　you。　　If　you　want　anything　that　is　good　for　you
to　have；　he　gets　it　for　you。　　Private　lawyers　are　not　needed　in
Germany。　　If　you　want　to　buy　or　sell　a　house　or　field；　the　State
makes　out　the　conveyance。　　If　you　have　been　swindled；　the　State
takes　up　the　case　for　you。　　The　State　marries　you；　insures　you；
will　even　gamble　with　you　for　a　trifle。

〃You　get　yourself　born；〃　says　the　German　Government　to　the　German
citizen；　〃we　do　the　rest。　　Indoors　and　out　of　doors；　in　sickness
and　in　health；　in　pleasure　and　in　work；　we　will　tell　you　what　to
do；　and　we　will　see　to　it　that　you　do　it。　　Don't　you　worry　yourself
about　anything。〃

And　the　German　doesn't。　　Where　there　is　no　policeman　to　be　found；
he　wanders　about　till　he　comes　to　a　police　notice　posted　on　a　wall。
This　he　reads；　then　he　goes　and　does　what　it　says。

I　remember　in　one　German　townI　forget　which；　it　is　immaterial；
the　incident　could　have　happened　in　anynoticing　an　open　gate
leading　to　a　garden　in　which　a　concert　was　being　given。　　There　was
nothing　to　prevent　anyone　who　chose　from　walking　through　that　gate；
and　thus　gaining　admittance　to　the　concert　without　paying。　　In
fact；　of　the　two　gates　quarter　of　a　mile　apart　it　was　the　more
convenient。　　Yet　of　the　crowds　that　passed；　not　on