three men on the bummel-第33章

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fact；　of　the　two　gates　quarter　of　a　mile　apart　it　was　the　more
convenient。　　Yet　of　the　crowds　that　passed；　not　one　attempted　to
enter　by　that　gate。　　They　plodded　steadily　on　under　a　blazing　sun
to　the　other　gate；　at　which　a　man　stood　to　collect　the　entrance
money。　　I　have　seen　German　youngsters　stand　longingly　by　the　margin
of　a　lonely　sheet　of　ice。　　They　could　have　skated　on　that　ice　for
hours；　and　nobody　have　been　the　wiser。　　The　crowd　and　the　police
were　at　the　other　end；　more　than　half　a　mile　away；　and　round　the
corner。　　Nothing　stopped　their　going　on　but　the　knowledge　that　they
ought　not。　　Things　such　as　these　make　one　pause　to　seriously　wonder
whether　the　Teuton　be　a　member　of　the　sinful　human　family　or　not。
Is　it　not　possible　that　these　placid；　gentle　folk　may　in　reality　be
angels；　come　down　to　earth　for　the　sake　of　a　glass　of　beer；　which；
as　they　must　know；　can　only　in　Germany　be　obtained　worth　the
drinking？

In　Germany　the　country　roads　are　lined　with　fruit　trees。　　There　is
no　voice　to　stay　man　or　boy　from　picking　and　eating　the　fruit；
except　conscience。　　In　England　such　a　state　of　things　would　cause
public　indignation。　　Children　would　die　of　cholera　by　the　hundred。
The　medical　profession　would　be　worked　off　its　legs　trying　to　cope
with　the　natural　results　of　over…indulgence　in　sour　apples　and
unripe　walnuts。　　Public　opinion　would　demand　that　these　fruit　trees
should　be　fenced　about；　and　thus　rendered　harmless。　　Fruit　growers；
to　save　themselves　the　expense　of　walls　and　palings；　would　not　be
allowed　in　this　manner　to　spread　sickness　and　death　throughout　the
community。

But　in　Germany　a　boy　will　walk　for　miles　down　a　lonely　road；　hedged
with　fruit　trees；　to　buy　a　pennyworth　of　pears　in　the　village　at
the　other　end。　　To　pass　these　unprotected　fruit　trees；　drooping
under　their　burden　of　ripe　fruit；　strikes　the　Anglo…Saxon　mind　as　a
wicked　waste　of　opportunity；　a　flouting　of　the　blessed　gifts　of
Providence。

I　do　not　know　if　it　be　so；　but　from　what　I　have　observed　of　the
German　character　I　should　not　be　surprised　to　hear　that　when　a　man
in　Germany　is　condemned　to　death　he　is　given　a　piece　of　rope；　and
told　to　go　and　hang　himself。　　It　would　save　the　State　much　trouble
and　expense；　and　I　can　see　that　German　criminal　taking　that　piece
of　rope　home　with　him；　reading　up　carefully　the　police
instructions；　and　proceeding　to　carry　them　out　in　his　own　back
kitchen。

The　Germans　are　a　good　people。　　On　the　whole；　the　best　people
perhaps　in　the　world；　an　amiable；　unselfish；　kindly　people。　　I　am
positive　that　the　vast　majority　of　them　go　to　Heaven。　　Indeed；
comparing　them　with　the　other　Christian　nations　of　the　earth；　one
is　forced　to　the　conclusion　that　Heaven　will　be　chiefly　of　German
manufacture。　　But　I　cannot　understand　how　they　get　there。　　That　the
soul　of　any　single　individual　German　has　sufficient　initiative　to
fly　up　by　itself　and　knock　at　St。　Peter's　door；　I　cannot　believe。
My　own　opinion　is　that　they　are　taken　there　in　small　companies；　and
passed　in　under　the　charge　of　a　dead　policeman。

Carlyle　said　of　the　Prussians；　and　it　is　true　of　the　whole　German
nation；　that　one　of　their　chief　virtues　was　their　power　of　being
drilled。　　Of　the　Germans　you　might　say　they　are　a　people　who　will
go　anywhere；　and　do　anything；　they　are　told。　　Drill　him　for　the
work　and　send　him　out　to　Africa　or　Asia　under　charge　of　somebody　in
uniform；　and　he　is　bound　to　make　an　excellent　colonist；　facing
difficulties　as　he　would　face　the　devil　himself；　if　ordered。　　But
it　is　not　easy　to　conceive　of　him　as　a　pioneer。　　Left　to　run
himself；　one　feels　he　would　soon　fade　away　and　die；　not　from　any
lack　of　intelligence；　but　from　sheer　want　of　presumption。

The　German　has　so　long　been　the　soldier　of　Europe；　that　the
military　instinct　has　entered　into　his　blood。　　The　military　virtues
he　possesses　in　abundance；　but　he　also　suffers　from　the　drawbacks
of　the　military　training。　　It　was　told　me　of　a　German　servant；
lately　released　from　the　barracks；　that　he　was　instructed　by　his
master　to　deliver　a　letter　to　a　certain　house；　and　to　wait　there
for　the　answer。　　The　hours　passed　by；　and　the　man　did　not　return。
His　master；　anxious　and　surprised；　followed。　　He　found　the　man
where　he　had　been　sent；　the　answer　in　his　hand。　　He　was　waiting　for
further　orders。　　The　story　sounds　exaggerated；　but　personally　I　can
credit　it。

The　curious　thing　is　that　the　same　man；　who　as　an　individual　is　as
helpless　as　a　child；　becomes；　the　moment　he　puts　on　the　uniform；　an
intelligent　being；　capable　of　responsibility　and　initiative。　　The
German　can　rule　others；　and　be　ruled　by　others；　but　he　cannot　rule
himself。　　The　cure　would　appear　to　be　to　train　every　German　for　an
officer；　and　then　put　him　under　himself。　　It　is　certain　he　would
order　himself　about　with　discretion　and　judgment；　and　see　to　it
that　he　himself　obeyed　himself　with　smartness　and　precision。

For　the　direction　of　German　character　into　these　channels；　the
schools；　of　course；　are　chiefly　responsible。　　Their　everlasting
teaching　is　duty。　　It　is　a　fine　ideal　for　any　people；　but　before
buckling　to　it；　one　would　wish　to　have　a　clear　understanding　as　to
what　this　〃duty〃　is。　　The　German　idea　of　it　would　appear　to　be：
〃blind　obedience　to　everything　in　buttons。〃　　It　is　the　antithesis
of　the　Anglo…Saxon　scheme；　but　as　both　the　Anglo…Saxon　and　the
Teuton　are　prospering；　there　must　be　good　in　both　methods。
Hitherto；　the　German　has　had　the　blessed　fortune　to　be
exceptionally　well　governed；　if　this　continue；　it　will　go　well　with
him。　　When　his　troubles　will　begin　will　be　when　by　any　chance
something　goes　wrong　with　the　governing　machine。　　But　maybe　his
method　has　the　advantage　of　producing　a　continuous　supply　of　good
governors；　it　would　certainly　seem　so。

As　a　trader；　I　am　inclined　to　think　the　German　will；　unless　his
temperament　considerably　change；　remain　always　a　long　way　behind
his　Anglo…Saxon　competitor；　and　this　by　reason　of　his　virtues。　　To
him　life　is　something　more　important　than　a　mere　race　for　wealth。
A　country　that　closes　its　banks　and　post…offices　for　two　hours　in
the　middle　of　the　day；　while　it　goes　home　and　enjoys　a　comfortable
meal　in　the　bosom　of　its　family；　with；　perhaps；　forty　winks　by　way
of　dessert；　cannot　hope；　and　possibly　has　no　wish；　to　compete　with
a　people　that　takes　its　meals　standing；　and　sleeps　with　a　telephone
over　its　bed。　　In　Germany　there　is　not；　at　all　events　as　yet；
sufficient　distinction　between　the　classes　to　make　the　struggle　for
position　the　life　and　death　affair　it　is　in　England。　　Beyond　the
landed　aristocracy；　whose　boundaries　are　impregnable；　grade　hardly
counts。　　Frau　Professor　and　Frau　Candlestickmaker　meet　at　the
Weekly　Kaffee…Klatsch　and　exchange　scandal　on　terms　of　mutual
equality。　　The　livery…stable　keeper　and　the　doctor　hobnob　together
at　their　favourite　beer　hall。　　The　wealthy　master　builder；　when　he
prepares　his　roomy　waggon　for　an　excursion　into　the　country；
invites　his　foreman　and　his　tailor　to　join　him　with　their　families。
Each　brings　his　share　of　drink　and　provisions；　and　returning　home
they　sing　in　chorus　the　same　songs。　　So　long　as　this　state　of
things　endures；　a　man　is　not　induced　to　sacrifice　the　best　years　of
his　life　to　win　a　fortune　for　his　dotage。　　His　tastes；　and；　more　to
the　point　still；　his　wife's；　remain　inexpensive。　　He　likes　to　see
his　flat　or　villa　furnished　with　much　red　plush　upholstery　and　a
profusion　of　gilt　and　lacquer。　　But　that　is　his　idea；　and　maybe　it
is　in　no　worse　taste　than　is　a　mixture　of　bastard　Elizabethan　with
imitation　Louis　XV；　the　whole　lit　by　electric　light；　and　smothered
with　photographs。　　Possibly；　he　will　have　his　outer　walls　painted
by　the　local　artist：　　a　sanguinary　battle；　a　good　deal　interfered
with　by　the　front　door；　taking　place　below；　while　Bismarck；　as　an
angel；　flutters　vaguely　about　the　bedroom　windows。　　But　for　his　Old
Masters　he　is　quite　content　to　go　to　the　public　galleries；　and　〃the
Celebrity　at　Home〃　not　having　as　yet　taken　its　place　amongst　the
institutions　of　the　Fatherland；　he　is　not　impelled　to　waste　his；
money　turning　his　house　into　an　old　curiosity　shop。

The　German　is　a　gourmand。　　There　are　still　English　farmers　who；
while　telling　you　that　farming　spells　starvation；　enjoy　their　seven
solid　meals　a　day。　　Once　a　year　there　comes　a　week's　feast
throughout　Russia；　during　which　many　deaths　occur　from　the　over…
eating　of　pancakes；　but　this　is　a　religious　festival；　and　an
exception。　　Taking　him　all　round；　the　German　as　a　trencherman
stands　pre…eminent　among　the　nations　of　the　earth。　　He　rises　early；
and　while　dressing　tosses　off　a　few　cups　of　coffee；　together　with
half　a　dozen　hot　buttered　rolls。　　But　it　is　not　until　ten　o'clock
that　he　sits　down　to　anything　that　can　properly　be　called　a　meal。
At　one　or　half…past　takes　place　his　chief　dinner。　　Of　this　he　makes
a　business；　sitting　at　it　for　a　couple　of　hours。　　At　four　o'clock
he　goes　to　the　cafe；　and　eats　cakes　and　drinks　chocolate。　　The
evening　he　devotes　to　eating　generallynot　a　set　meal；　or　rarely；
but　a　series　of　snacks；a　bottle　of　beer　and　a　Belegete…semmel　or
two　at　seven；　say；　another　bottle　of　beer　and　an　Aufschnitt　at　the
theatre　between　the　acts；　a　small　bottle　of　white　wine　and　a
Spiegeleier　before　going　home；　then　a　piece　of　cheese　or　sausage；
washed　down　by　more　beer；　previous　to　turning　in　for　the　night。

But　he　is　no　gourmet。　　French　cooks　and　French　prices　are　not　the
rule　at　his　restaurant。　　His　beer　or　his　inexpensive　native　white
wine　he　prefers　to　the　most　costly　clarets　or　champagnes。　　And；
indeed；　it　is　well　for　him　he　does；　for　one　is　inclined　to　think
that　every　time　a　French　grower　sells　a　bottle　of　wine　to　a　German
hotel…　or　shop…keeper；　Sedan　is　rankling　in　his　mind。　　It　is　a
foolish　revenge；　seeing　that　it　is　not　the　German　who　as　a　rule
drinks　it；　the　punishment　falls　upon　some　innocent　travelling
Englishman。　　Maybe；　however；　the　French　dealer　remembers　also
Waterloo；　and　feels　that　in　any　event　he　scores。

In　Germany　expensive　entertainments　are　neither　offered　nor
expected。　　Everything　throughout　the　Fatherland　is　homely　and
friendly。　　The　German　has　no　costly　sports　to　pay　for；　no　showy
establishment　to　maintain；　no　purse…proud　circle　to　dress　for。　　His
chief　pleasure；　a　seat　at　the　opera　or　concert；　can　be　had　for　a
few　marks；　and　his　wife　and　daughters　walk　there　in　home…made
dresses；　with　shawls　over　their　heads。　　Indeed；　throughout　the
country　the　absence　of　all　ostentation　is　to　English　eyes　quite
refreshing。　　Private　carriages　are　few　and　far　between；　and　even
the　droschke　is　made　use　of　only　when　the　quicker　and　cleaner
electric　car　is　not　available。

By　such　means　the　German　retains　his　independence。　　The　shopkeeper
in　Germany　does　not　fawn　upon　his　customers。　　I　accompanied　an
English　lady　once　on　a　shopping　excursion　in　Munich。　　She　had　been
accustomed　to　shopping　in　London　and　New　York；　and　she　grumbled　at
everything　the　man　showed　her。　　It　was　not　that　she　was　really
dissatisfied；　this　was　her　method。　　She　explained　that　she　could
get　most　things　cheaper　and　better　elsewhere；　not　that　she　really
thought　she　could；　merely　she　held　it　good　for　the　shopkeeper　to
say　this。　　She　told　h