autobiography of a pocket-handkerchief-第7章

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but　his　benevolence　soon　wearied　of　performing　offices　that　really　were
not　required。　By　the　end　of　a　month；　Adrienne　saw　him　no　more。

As　long　as　her　daily　toil　seemed　to　supply　her　own　little　wants；　Adrienne
was　content　to　watch　on；　weep　on；　pray　on；　in　waiting　for　the　moment
she　so　much　dreaded；　that　which　was　to　sever　the　last　tie　she　appeared
to　possess　on　earth。　It　is　true　she　had　a　few　very　distant　relatives；　but
they　had　emigrated　to　America；　at　the　commencement　of　the　revolution
of　1789；　and　all　trace　of　them　had　long　been　lost。　In　point　of　fact；　the
men　were　dead；　and　the　females　were　grandmothers　with　English
names；　and　were　almost　ignorant　of　any　such　persons　as　the　de　la
Rocheaimards。　From　these　Adrienne　had　nothing　to　expect。　To　her；
they　were　as　beings　in　another　planet。　But　the　trousseau　was　nearly
exhausted；　and　the　stock　of　ready　money　was　reduced　to　a　　single
napoleon；　and　a　little　change。　It　was　absolutely　necessary　to　decide　on
some　new　scheme　for　a　temporary　subsistence；　and　that　without　delay。

Among　the　valuables　of　the　trousseau　was　a　piece　of　exquisite　lace；　that
had　never　been　even　worn。　The　vicomtesse　had　a　pride　in　looking　at　it；
for　it　showed　the　traces　of　her　former　wealth　and　magnificence；　and　she
would　never　consent　to　part　with　it。　Adrienne　had　carried　it　once　to　her
employer；　the　milliner；　with　the　intention　of　disposing　of　it；　but　the　price
offered　was　so　greatly　below　what　she　knew　to　be　the　true　value；　that
she　would　not　sell　it。　Her　own　wardrobe；　however；　was　going　fast；
nothing　disposable　remained　of　her　grandmother's；　and　this　piece　of　lace
must　be　turned　to　account　in　some　way。　While　reflecting　on　these　dire
necessities；　Adrienne　remembered　our　family。　She　knew　to　what　shop
we　had　been　sent　in　Paris；　and　she　now　determined　to　purchase　one　of
us；　to　bestow　on　the　handkerchief　selected　some　of　her　own　beautiful
needle　work；　to　trim　it　with　this　lace；　and；　by　the　sale；　to　raise　a　sum
sufficient　for　all　her　grandmother's　earthly　wants。

Generous　souls　are　usually　ardent。　Their　hopes　keep　pace　with　their
wishes；　and；　as　Adrienne　had　heard　that　twenty　napoleons　were
sometimes　paid　by　the　wealthy　for　a　single　pocket…handkerchief；　when
thus　decorated；　she　saw　a　little　treasure　in　reserve；　before　her　mind's
eye。

〃I　can　do　the　work　in　two　months；〃　she　said　to　herself；　〃by　taking　the
time　I　have　used　for　exercise；　and　by　severe　economy；　by　eating　less
myself；　and　working　harder；　we　can　make　out　to　live　that　time　on　what
we　have。〃

This　was　the　secret　of　my　purchase；　and　the　true　reason　why　this　lovely
girl　had　literally　expended　her　last　sou　in　making　it。　The　cost　had
materially　exceeded　her　expectations；　and　she　could　not　return　home
without　disposing　of　some　article　she　had　in　her　reticule；　to　supply　the
vacuum　left　in　her　purse。　There　would　be　nothing　ready　for　the　milliner；
under　two　or　three　days；　and　there　was　little　in　the　lodgings　to　meet　the
necessities　of　her　grandmother。　Adrienne　had　taken　her　way　along　the
quays；　delighted　with　her　acquisition；　and　was　far　from　the　Mont　de
Piete　before　this　indispensable　duty　occurred　to　her　mind。　She　then
began　to　look　about　her　for　a　shop　in　which　she　might　dispose　of
something　for　the　moment。　Luckily　she　was　the　mistress　of　a　gold
thimble；　that　had　been　presented　to　her　by　her　grandmother；　as　her　very
last　birth…day　present。　It　was　painful　for　her　to　part　with　it；　but；　as　it　was
to　supply　the　wants　of　that　very　parent；　the　sacrifice　cost　her　less　than
might　otherwise　have　been　the　case。　Its　price　had　been　a　napoleon；　and
a　napoleon；　just　then；　was　a　mint　of　money　in　her　eyes。　Besides；　she
had　a　silver　thimble　at　home；　and　a　brass　one　would　do　for　her　work。

Adrienne's　necessities　had　made　her　acquainted　with　several　jewellers'
shops。　To　one　of　these　she　now　proceeded；　and；　first　observing　through
the　window　that　no　person　was　in　but　one　of　her　own　sex；　the
silversmith's　wife；　she　entered　with　the　greater　confidence　and　alacrity。

〃Madame；〃　she　said；　in　timid　tones；　for　want　had　not　yet　made　Adrienne
bold　or　coarse；　〃I　have　a　thimble　to　dispose　ofcould　you　be　induced
to　buy　it？〃

The　woman　took　the　thimble　and　examined　it；　weighed　it；　and　submitted
its　metal　to　the　test　of　the　touchstone。　It　was　a　pretty　thimble；　though
small；　or　it　would　not　have　fitted　Adrienne's　finger。　This　fact　struck　the
woman　of　the　shop；　and　she　cast　a　suspicious　glance　at　Adrienne's
hand；　the　whiteness　and　size　of　which；　however；　satisfied　her　that　the
thimble　had　not　been　stolen。

｛touchstone　=　a　variety　of　black　stone　used　to　test　the　purity　of　gold；　by
the　streak　it　leaves　when　rubbed　on　the　stone｝

〃What　do　you　expect　to　receive　for　this　thimble；　mademoiselle？〃　asked
the　woman；　coldly。

〃It　cost　a　napoleon；　madame；　and　was　made　expressly　for　myself。〃

〃You　do　not　expect　to　sell　it　at　what　it　cost？〃　was　the　dry　answer。

〃Perhaps　not；　madameI　suppose　you　will　look　for　a　profit　in　selling　it
again。　I　wish　you　to　name　the　price。〃

This　was　said　because　the　delicate　ever　shrink　from　affixing　a　value　to
the　time　and　services　of　others。　Adrienne　was　afraid　she　might
unintentionally　deprive　the　other　of　a　portion　of　her　just　gains。　The
woman　understood　by　the　timidity　and　undecided　manner　of　the
applicant；　that　she　had　a　very　unpracticed　being　to　deal　with；　and　she
was　emboldened　to　act　accordingly。　First　taking　another　look　at　the
pretty　little　hand　and　fingers；　to　make　certain　the　thimble　might　not　be
reclaimed；　when　satisfied　that　it　really　belonged　to　her　who　wished　to
dispose　of　it；　she　ventured　to　answer。

〃In　such　times　as　we　had　before　these　vile　republicans　drove　all　the
strangers　from　Paris；　and　when　our　commerce　was　good；〃　she　said；　〃I
might　have　offered　seven　francs　and　a　half　for　that　thimble；　but；　as　things
are　now；　the　last　sou　I　can　think　of　giving　is　five　francs。〃

〃The　gold　is　very　good；　madame；〃　Adrienne　observed；　in　a　voice　half…
choked；　〃they　told　my　grandmother　the　metal　alone　was　worth　thirteen。〃

〃Perhaps；　mademoiselle；　they　might　give　that　much　at　the　mint；　for　there
they　coin　money；　but；　in　this　shop；　no　one　will　give　more　than　five　francs
for　that　thimble。〃

Had　Adrienne　been　longer　in　communion　with　a　cold　and　heartless
world；　she　would　not　have　submitted　to　this　piece　of　selfish　extortion；
but；　inexperienced；　and　half　frightened　by　the　woman's　manner；　she
begged　the　pittance　offered　as　a　boon；　dropped　her　thimble；　and　made
a　hasty　retreat。　When　the　poor　girl　reached　the　street；　she　began　to
reflect　on　what　she　had　done。　Five　francs　would　scarcely　support　her
grandmother　a　week；　with　even　the　wood　and　wine　she　had　on　hand；
and　she　had　no　more　gold　thimbles　to　sacrifice。　A　heavy　sigh　broke
from　her　bosom；　and　tears　stood　in　her　eyes。　But　she　was　wanted　at
home；　and　had　not　the　leisure　to　reflect　on　her　own　mistake。



CHAPTER　VI。

Occupation　is　a　blessed　relief　to　the　miserable。　Of　all　the　ingenious
modes　of　torture　that　have　ever　been　invented；　that　of　solitary
confinement　is　probably　the　most　cruelthe　mind　feeding　on　itself　with
the　rapacity　of　a　cormorant；　when　the　conscience　quickens　its　activity
and　feeds　its　longings。　Happily　for　Adrienne；　she　had　too　many　positive
cares；　to　be　enabled　to　waste　many　minutes　either　in　retrospection；　or　in
endeavors　to　conjecture　the　future。　Farfar　more　happily　for　herself；
her　conscience　was　clear；　for　never　had　a　purer　mind；　or　a　gentler　spirit
dwelt　in　female　breast。　Still　she　could　blame　her　own　oversight；　and　it
was　days　before　her　self…upbraidings；　for　thus　trifling　with　what　she
conceived　to　be　the　resources　of　her　beloved　grandmother；　were　driven
from　her　thoughts　by　the　pressure　of　other　and　greater　ills。

Were　I　to　last　a　thousand　years；　and　rise　to　the　dignity　of　being　the
handkerchief　that　the　Grand　Turk　is　said　to　toss　toward　his　favorite；　I
could　not　forget　the　interest　with　which　I　accompanied　Adrienne　to　the
door　of　her　little　apartment；　in　the　entresol。　She　was　in　the　habit　of　hiring
little　Nathalie；　the　porter's　daughter；　to　remain　with　her　grandmother
during　her　own　necessary　but　brief　absences；　and　this　girl　was　found　at
the　entrance；　eager　to　be　relieved。

〃Has　my　grandmother　asked　for　me；　Nathalie？〃　demanded　Adrienne；
anxiously；　the　moment　they　met。

〃Non；　mademoiselle；　madame　has　done　nothing　but　sleep；　and　I　was
getting　SO　tired！〃

The　sou　was　given；　and　the　porter's　daughter　disappeared；　leaving
Adrienne　alone　in　the　ante…chamber。　The　furniture　of　this　little　apartment
was　very　respectable；　for　Madame　de　la　Rocheaimard；　besides　paying
a　pretty　fair　rent；　had　hired　it　just　after　the　revolution；　when　the　prices
had　fallen　quite　half；　and　the　place　had；　by　no　means；　the　appearance　of
that　poverty　which　actually　reigned　within。　Adrienne　went　through　the
ante…chamber；　which　served　also　as　a　salle　a　manger；　and　passed　a
small　saloon；　into　the　bed…chamber　of　her　parent。　Here　her　mind　was
relieved　by　finding　all　right。　She　gave　her　grandmother　some
nourishment；　inquired　tenderly　as　to　her　wishes；　executed　several　little
necessary　offices；　and　then　sat　down　to　work　for　her　own　daily　bread；
every　moment　being　precious　to　one　so　situated。　I　expected　to　be
examinedperhaps　caressed；　fondled；　or　praised；　but　no　such　attention
awaited　me。　Adrienne　had　arranged　every　thing　in　her　own　mind；　and　I
was　to　be　produced　only　at　those　extra　hours　in　the　morning；　when　she
had　been　accustomed　to　take　exercise　in　the　open　air。　For　the　moment　I
was　laid　aside；　though　in　a　place　that　enabled　me　to　be　a　witness　of　all
that　occurred。　The　day　passed　in　patient　toil；　on　the　part　of　the　poor
girl；　the　only　relief　she　enjoyed　being　those　moments　when　she　was
called　on　to　attend　to　the　wants　of　her　grandmother。　A　light　potage；　with
a　few　grapes　and　bread；　composed　her　dinner；　even　of　these　I
observed　that　she　laid　aside　nearly　half　for　the　succeeding　day；　doubts
of　her　having　the　means　of　supporting　her　parent　until　the　handkerchief
was　completed　beginning　to　beset　her　mind。　It　was　these　painful　and
obtrusive　doubts　that　most　distressed　the　dear　girl；　now；　for　the
expectation　of　reaping　a　reward　comparatively　brilliant；　from　the
ingenious　device　to　repair　her　means　on　which　she　had　fallen；　was
strong　within　her。　Poor　child！　her　misgivings　were　the　overflowings　of　a
tender　heart；　while　her　hopes　partook　of　the　sanguine　character　of　youth
and　inexperience！

｛salle　a　manger　=　dining　room；　salon　=　living　room；　potage　=　soup｝

My　turn　came　the　following　morning。　It　was　now　spring；　and　this　is　a
season　of　natural　delights　at　Paris。　We　were　already　in　April；　and　the
flowers　had　begun　to　shed　their　fragrance　on　the　air；　and　to　brighten　the
aspect　of　the　public　gardens。　Mad。　de　la　Rocheaimard　usually　slept　the
soundest　at　this　hour；　and；　hitherto；　Adrienne　had　not　hesitated　to　leave
her；　while　she　went　herself　to　the　nearest　public　promenade；　to　breathe
the　pure　air　and　to　gain　strength　for　the　day。　In　future；　she　was　to　deny
herself　this　sweet　gratification。　It　was　such　a　sacrifice；　as　the　innocent
and　virtuous；　and　I　may　add　the　tasteful；　who　are　cooped　up　amid　the
unnatural　restraints　of　a　town；　will　best　know　how　to　appreciate。　Still　it
was　made　without