three men in a boat-第10章

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the　years　2000　and　odd？　　Will　the　white　cups　with　the　gold　rim　and　the　

beautiful　gold　flower　inside　（species　unknown）；　that　our　Sarah　Janes　now　

break　in　sheer　light…heartedness　of　spirit；　be　carefully　mended；　and　

stood　upon　a　bracket；　and　dusted　only　by　the　lady　of　the　house？



That　china　dog　that　ornaments　the　bedroom　of　my　furnished　lodgings。　　It　

is　a　white　dog。　　Its　eyes　blue。　　Its　nose　is　a　delicate　red；　with　spots。　　

Its　head　is　painfully　erect；　its　expression　is　amiability　carried　to　

verge　of　imbecility。　　I　do　not　admire　it　myself。　　Considered　as　a　work　of　

art；　I　may　say　it　irritates　me。　　Thoughtless　friends　jeer　at　it；　and　even　

my　landlady　herself　has　no　admiration　for　it；　and　excuses　its　presence　by　

the　circumstance　that　her　aunt　gave　it　to　her。



But　in　200　years'　time　it　is　more　than　probable　that　that　dog　will　be　dug　

up　from　somewhere　or　other；　minus　its　legs；　and　with　its　tail　broken；　and　

will　be　sold　for　old　china；　and　put　in　a　glass　cabinet。　　And　people　will　

pass　it　round；　and　admire　it。　　They　will　be　struck　by　the　wonderful　depth　

of　the　colour　on　the　nose；　and　speculate　as　to　how　beautiful　the　bit　of　

the　tail　that　is　lost　no　doubt　was。



We；　in　this　age；　do　not　see　the　beauty　of　that　dog。　　We　are　too　familiar　

with　it。　　It　is　like　the　sunset　and　the　stars：　we　are　not　awed　by　their　

loveliness　because　they　are　common　to　our　eyes。　　So　it　is　with　that　china　

dog。　　In　2288　people　will　gush　over　it。　　The　making　of　such　dogs　will　

have　become　a　lost　art。　　Our　descendants　will　wonder　how　we　did　it；　and　

say　how　clever　we　were。　　We　shall　be　referred　to　lovingly　as　〃those　grand　

old　artists　that　flourished　in　the　nineteenth　century；　and　produced　those　

china　dogs。〃



The　〃sampler〃　that　the　eldest　daughter　did　at　school　will　be　spoken　of　as　

〃tapestry　of　the　Victorian　era；〃　and　be　almost　priceless。　　The　blue…and…

white　mugs　of　the　present…day　roadside　inn　will　be　hunted　up；　all　cracked　

and　chipped；　and　sold　for　their　weight　in　gold；　and　rich　people　will　use　

them　for　claret　cups；　and　travellers　from　Japan　will　buy　up　all　the　

〃Presents　from　Ramsgate；〃　and　〃Souvenirs　of　Margate；〃　that　may　have　

escaped　destruction；　and　take　them　back　to　Jedo　as　ancient　English　

curios。



At　this　point　Harris　threw　away　the　sculls；　got　up　and　left　his　seat；　and　

sat　on　his　back；　and　stuck　his　legs　in　the　air。　　Montmorency　howled；　and　

turned　a　somersault；　and　the　top　hamper　jumped　up；　and　all　the　things　

came　out。



I　was　somewhat　surprised；　but　I　did　not　lose　my　temper。　　I　said；　

pleasantly　enough：



〃Hulloa！　what's　that　for？〃



〃What's　that　for？　　Why　…　〃



No；　on　second　thoughts；　I　will　not　repeat　what　Harris　said。　　I　may　have　

been　to　blame；　I　admit　it；　but　nothing　excuses　violence　of　language　and　

coarseness　of　expression；　especially　in　a　man　who　has　been　carefully　

brought　up；　as　I　know　Harris　has　been。　　I　was　thinking　of　other　things；　

and　forgot；　as　any　one　might　easily　understand；　that　I　was　steering；　and　

the　consequence　was　that　we　had　got　mixed　up　a　good　deal　with　the　tow…

path。　　It　was　difficult　to　say；　for　the　moment；　which　was　us　and　which　

was　the　Middlesex　bank　of　the　river；　but　we　found　out　after　a　while；　and　

separated　ourselves。



Harris；　however；　said　he　had　done　enough　for　a　bit；　and　proposed　that　I　

should　take　a　turn；　so；　as　we　were　in；　I　got　out　and　took　the　tow…line；　

and　ran　the　boat　on　past　Hampton　Court。　　What　a　dear　old　wall　that　is　

that　runs　along　by　the　river　there！　　I　never　pass　it　without　feeling　

better　for　the　sight　of　it。　　Such　a　mellow；　bright；　sweet　old　wall；　what　

a　charming　picture　it　would　make；　with　the　lichen　creeping　here；　and　the　

moss　growing　there；　a　shy　young　vine　peeping　over　the　top　at　this　spot；　

to　see　what　is　going　on　upon　the　busy　river；　and　the　sober　old　ivy　

clustering　a　little　farther　down！　　There　are　fifty　shades　and　tints　and　

hues　in　every　ten　yards　of　that　old　wall。　　If　I　could　only　draw；　and　knew　

how　to　paint；　I　could　make　a　lovely　sketch　of　that　old　wall；　I'm　sure。　　

I've　often　thought　I　should　like　to　live　at　Hampton　Court。　　It　looks　so　

peaceful　and　so　quiet；　and　it　is　such　a　dear　old　place　to　ramble　round　in　

the　early　morning　before　many　people　are　about。



But；　there；　I　don't　suppose　I　should　really　care　for　it　when　it　came　to　

actual　practice。　　It　would　be　so　ghastly　dull　and　depressing　in　the　

evening；　when　your　lamp　cast　uncanny　shadows　on　the　panelled　walls；　and　

the　echo　of　distant　feet　rang　through　the　cold　stone　corridors；　and　now　

drew　nearer；　and　now　died　away；　and　all　was　death…like　silence；　save　the　

beating　of　one's　own　heart。



We　are　creatures　of　the　sun；　we　men　and　women。　　We　love　light　and　life。　　

That　is　why　we　crowd　into　the　towns　and　cities；　and　the　country　grows　

more　and　more　deserted　every　year。　　In　the　sunlight　…　in　the　daytime；　

when　Nature　is　alive　and　busy　all　around　us；　we　like　the　open　hill…sides　

and　the　deep　woods　well　enough：　but　in　the　night；　when　our　Mother　Earth　

has　gone　to　sleep；　and　left　us　waking；　oh！　the　world　seems　so　lonesome；　

and　we　get　frightened；　like　children　in　a　silent　house。　　Then　we　sit　and　

sob；　and　long　for　the　gas…lit　streets；　and　the　sound　of　human　voices；　and　

the　answering　throb　of　human　life。　　We　feel　so　helpless　and　so　little　in　

the　great　stillness；　when　the　dark　trees　rustle　in　the　night…wind。　　There　

are　so　many　ghosts　about；　and　their　silent　sighs　make　us　feel　so　sad。　　

Let　us　gather　together　in　the　great　cities；　and　light　huge　bonfires　of　a　

million　gas…jets；　and　shout　and　sing　together；　and　feel　brave。



Harris　asked　me　if　I'd　ever　been　in　the　maze　at　Hampton　Court。　　He　said　

he　went　in　once　to　show　somebody　else　the　way。　　He　had　studied　it　up　in　a　

map；　and　it　was　so　simple　that　it　seemed　foolish　…　hardly　worth　the　

twopence　charged　for　admission。　　Harris　said　he　thought　that　map　must　

have　been　got　up　as　a　practical　joke；　because　it　wasn't　a　bit　like　the　

real　thing；　and　only　misleading。　　It　was　a　country　cousin　that　Harris　

took　in。　　He　said：



〃We'll　just　go　in　here；　so　that　you　can　say　you've　been；　but　it's　very　

simple。　　It's　absurd　to　call　it　a　maze。　　You　keep　on　taking　the　first　

turning　to　the　right。　　We'll　just　walk　round　for　ten　minutes；　and　then　go　

and　get　some　lunch。〃



They　met　some　people　soon　after　they　had　got　inside；　who　said　they　had　

been　there　for　three…quarters　of　an　hour；　and　had　had　about　enough　of　it。　　

Harris　told　them　they　could　follow　him；　if　they　liked；　he　was　just　going　

in；　and　then　should　turn　round　and　come　out　again。　　They　said　it　was　very　

kind　of　him；　and　fell　behind；　and　followed。



They　picked　up　various　other　people　who　wanted　to　get　it　over；　as　they　

went　along；　until　they　had　absorbed　all　the　persons　in　the　maze。　　People　

who　had　given　up　all　hopes　of　ever　getting　either　in　or　out；　or　of　ever　

seeing　their　home　and　friends　again；　plucked　up　courage　at　the　sight　of　

Harris　and　his　party；　and　joined　the　procession；　blessing　him。　　Harris　

said　he　should　judge　there　must　have　been　twenty　people；　following　him；　

in　all；　and　one　woman　with　a　baby；　who　had　been　there　all　the　morning；　

insisted　on　taking　his　arm；　for　fear　of　losing　him。



Harris　kept　on　turning　to　the　right；　but　it　seemed　a　long　way；　and　his　

cousin　said　he　supposed　it　was　a　very　big　maze。



〃Oh；　one　of　the　largest　in　Europe；〃　said　Harris。



〃Yes；　it　must　be；〃　replied　the　cousin；　〃because　we've　walked　a　good　two　

miles　already。〃



Harris　began　to　think　it　rather　strange　himself；　but　he　held　on　until；　at　

last；　they　passed　the　half　of　a　penny　bun　on　the　ground　that　Harris's　

cousin　swore　he　had　noticed　there　seven　minutes　ago。　　Harris　said：　〃Oh；　

impossible！〃　but　the　woman　with　the　baby　said；　〃Not　at　all；〃　as　she　

herself　had　taken　it　from　the　child；　and　thrown　it　down　there；　just　

before　she　met　Harris。　　She　also　added　that　she　wished　she　never　had　met　

Harris；　and　expressed　an　opinion　that　he　was　an　impostor。　　That　made　

Harris　mad；　and　he　produced　his　map；　and　explained　his　theory。



〃The　map　may　be　all　right　enough；〃　said　one　of　the　party；　〃if　you　know　

whereabouts　in　it　we　are　now。〃



Harris　didn't　know；　and　suggested　that　the　best　thing　to　do　would　be　to　

go　back　to　the　entrance；　and　begin　again。　　For　the　beginning　again　part　

of　it　there　was　not　much　enthusiasm；　but　with　regard　to　the　advisability　

of　going　back　to　the　entrance　there　was　complete　unanimity；　and　so　they　

turned；　and　trailed　after　Harris　again；　in　the　opposite　direction。　　About　

ten　minutes　more　passed；　and　then　they　found　themselves　in　the　centre。



Harris　thought　at　first　of　pretending　that　that　was　what　he　had　been　

aiming　at；　but　the　crowd　looked　dangerous；　and　he　decided　to　treat　it　as　

an　accident。



Anyhow；　they　had　got　something　to　start　from　then。　　They　did　know　where　

they　were；　and　the　map　was　once　more　consulted；　and　the　thing　seemed　

simpler　than　ever；　and　off　they　started　for　the　third　time。



And　three　minutes　later　they　were　back　in　the　centre　again。



After　that；　they　simply　couldn't　get　anywhere　else。　　Whatever　way　they　

turned　brought　them　back　to　the　middle。　　It　became　so　regular　at　length；　

that　some　of　the　people　stopped　there；　and　waited　for　the　others　to　take　

a　walk　round；　and　come　back　to　them。　　Harris　drew　out　his　map　again；　

after　a　while；　but　the　sight　of　it　only　infuriated　the　mob；　and　they　told　

him　to　go　and　curl　his　hair　with　it。　　Harris　said　that　he　couldn't　help　

feeling　that；　to　a　certain　extent；　he　had　become　unpopular。



They　all　got　crazy　at　last；　and　sang　out　for　the　keeper；　and　the　man　came　

and　climbed　up　the　ladder　outside；　and　shouted　out　directions　to　them。　　

But　all　their　heads　were；　by　this　time；　in　such　a　confused　whirl　that　

they　were　incapable　of　grasping　anything；　and　so　the　man　told　them　to　

stop　where　they　were；　and　he　would　come　to　them。　　They　huddled　together；　

and　waited；　and　he　climbed　down；　and　came　in。



He　was　a　young　keeper；　as　luck　would　have　it；　and　new　to　the　business；　

and　when　he　got　in；　he　couldn't　find　them；　and　he　wandered　about；　trying　

to　get　to　them；　and　then　HE　got　lost。　　They　caught　sight　of　him；　every　

now　and　then；　rushing　about　the　other　side　of　the　hedge；　and　he　would　see　

them；　and　rush　to　get　to　them；　and　they　would　wait　there　for　about　five　

minutes；　and　then　he　would　reappear　again　in　exactly　the　same　spot；　and　

ask　them　where　they　had　been。



They　had　to　wait　till　one　of　the　old　keepers　came　back　from　his　dinner　

before　they　got　out。



Harris　said　he　thought　it　was　a　very　fine　maze；　so　far　as　he　was　a　judge；　

and　we　agreed　that　we　would　try　to　get　George　to　go　into　it；　on　our　way　

back。









CHAPTER　VII。





THE　RIVER　IN　ITS　SUNDAY　GARB。　…　DRESS　ON　THE　RIVER。　…　A　CHANCE　FOR　THE　

MEN。　…　ABSENCE　OF　TASTE　IN　HARRIS。　…　GEORGE'S　BLAZER。　…　A　DAY　WITH　THE　

FASHION…PLATE　YOUNG　LADY。　…　MRS。　THOMAS'S　TOMB。　…　THE　MAN　W