three men in a boat-第28章

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duty　up　the　river　with　every　boating…man　for　years　past　…　and　added　seven　

entirely　original　ones　that　we　had　invented　for　ourselves；　including　a　

really　quite　likely　story；　founded；　to　a　certain　extent；　on　an　all　but　

true　episode；　which　had　actually　happened　in　a　modified　degree　some　years　

ago　to　friends　of　ours　…　a　story　that　a　mere　child　could　have　believed　

without　injuring　itself；　much。



And　that　young　man　mocked　at　them　all；　and　wanted　us　to　repeat　the　feats　

then　and　there；　and　to　bet　us　ten　to　one　that　we　didn't。



We　got　to　chatting　about　our　rowing　experiences　this　morning；　and　to　

recounting　stories　of　our　first　efforts　in　the　art　of　oarsmanship。　　My　

own　earliest　boating　recollection　is　of　five　of　us　contributing　

threepence　each　and　taking　out　a　curiously　constructed　craft　on　the　

Regent's　Park　lake；　drying　ourselves　subsequently；　in　the　park…keeper's　

lodge。



After　that；　having　acquired　a　taste　for　the　water；　I　did　a　good　deal　of　

rafting　in　various　suburban　brickfields　…　an　exercise　providing　more　

interest　and　excitement　than　might　be　imagined；　especially　when　you　are　

in　the　middle　of　the　pond　and　the　proprietor　of　the　materials　of　which　

the　raft　is　constructed　suddenly　appears　on　the　bank；　with　a　big　stick　in　

his　hand。



Your　first　sensation　on　seeing　this　gentleman　is　that；　somehow　or　other；　

you　don't　feel　equal　to　company　and　conversation；　and　that；　if　you　could　

do　so　without　appearing　rude；　you　would　rather　avoid　meeting　him；　and　

your　object　is；　therefore；　to　get　off　on　the　opposite　side　of　the　pond　to　

which　he　is；　and　to　go　home　quietly　and　quickly；　pretending　not　to　see　

him。　　He；　on　the　contrary　is　yearning　to　take　you　by　the　hand；　and　talk　

to　you。



It　appears　that　he　knows　your　father；　and　is　intimately　acquainted　with　

yourself；　but　this　does　not　draw　you　towards　him。　　He　says　he'll　teach　

you　to　take　his　boards　and　make　a　raft　of　them；　but；　seeing　that　you　know　

how　to　do　this　pretty　well　already；　the　offer；　though　doubtless　kindly　

meant；　seems　a　superfluous　one　on　his　part；　and　you　are　reluctant　to　put　

him　to　any　trouble　by　accepting　it。



His　anxiety　to　meet　you；　however；　is　proof　against　all　your　coolness；　and　

the　energetic　manner　in　which　he　dodges　up　and　down　the　pond　so　as　to　be　

on　the　spot　to　greet　you　when　you　land　is　really　quite　flattering。



If　he　be　of　a　stout　and　short…winded　build；　you　can　easily　avoid　his　

advances；　but；　when　he　is　of　the　youthful　and　long…legged　type；　a　meeting　

is　inevitable。　　The　interview　is；　however；　extremely　brief；　most　of　the　

conversation　being　on　his　part；　your　remarks　being　mostly　of　an　

exclamatory　and　mono…syllabic　order；　and　as　soon　as　you　can　tear　yourself　

away　you　do　so。



I　devoted　some　three　months　to　rafting；　and；　being　then　as　proficient　as　

there　was　any　need　to　be　at　that　branch　of　the　art；　I　determined　to　go　in　

for　rowing　proper；　and　joined　one　of　the　Lea　boating　clubs。



Being　out　in　a　boat　on　the　river　Lea；　especially　on　Saturday　afternoons；　

soon　makes　you　smart　at　handling　a　craft；　and　spry　at　escaping　being　run　

down　by　roughs　or　swamped　by　barges；　and　it　also　affords　plenty　of　

opportunity　for　acquiring　the　most　prompt　and　graceful　method　of　lying　

down　flat　at　the　bottom　of　the　boat　so　as　to　avoid　being　chucked　out　into　

the　river　by　passing　tow…lines。



But　it　does　not　give　you　style。　　It　was　not　till　I　came　to　the　Thames　

that　I　got　style。　　My　style　of　rowing　is　very　much　admired　now。　　People　

say　it　is　so　quaint。



George　never　went　near　the　water　until　he　was　sixteen。　　Then　he　and　eight　

other　gentlemen　of　about　the　same　age　went　down　in　a　body　to　Kew　one　

Saturday；　with　the　idea　of　hiring　a　boat　there；　and　pulling　to　Richmond　

and　back；　one　of　their　number；　a　shock…headed　youth；　named　Joskins；　who　

had　once　or　twice　taken　out　a　boat　on　the　Serpentine；　told　them　it　was　

jolly　fun；　boating！



The　tide　was　running　out　pretty　rapidly　when　they　reached　the　landing…

stage；　and　there　was　a　stiff　breeze　blowing　across　the　river；　but　this　

did　not　trouble　them　at　all；　and　they　proceeded　to　select　their　boat。



There　was　an　eight…oared　racing　outrigger　drawn　up　on　the　stage；　that　was　

the　one　that　took　their　fancy。　　They　said　they'd　have　that　one；　please。　　

The　boatman　was　away；　and　only　his　boy　was　in　charge。　　The　boy　tried　to　

damp　their　ardour　for　the　outrigger；　and　showed　them　two　or　three　very　

comfortable…looking　boats　of　the　family…party　build；　but　those　would　not　

do　at　all；　the　outrigger　was　the　boat　they　thought　they　would　look　best　

in。



So　the　boy　launched　it；　and　they　took　off　their　coats　and　prepared　to　

take　their　seats。　　The　boy　suggested　that　George；　who；　even　in　those　

days；　was　always　the　heavy　man　of　any　party；　should　be　number　four。　　

George　said　he　should　be　happy　to　be　number　four；　and　promptly　stepped　

into　bow's　place；　and　sat　down　with　his　back　to　the　stern。　　They　got　him　

into　his　proper　position　at　last；　and　then　the　others　followed。



A　particularly　nervous　boy　was　appointed　cox；　and　the　steering　principle　

explained　to　him　by　Joskins。　　Joskins　himself　took　stroke。　　He　told　the　

others　that　it　was　simple　enough；　all　they　had　to　do　was　to　follow　him。



They　said　they　were　ready；　and　the　boy　on　the　landing　stage　took　a　boat…

hook　and　shoved　him　off。



What　then　followed　George　is　unable　to　describe　in　detail。　　He　has　a　

confused　recollection　of　having；　immediately　on　starting；　received　a　

violent　blow　in　the　small　of　the　back　from　the　butt…end　of　number　five's　

scull；　at　the　same　time　that　his　own　seat　seemed　to　disappear　from　under　

him　by　magic；　and　leave　him　sitting　on　the　boards。　　He　also　noticed；　as　a　

curious　circumstance；　that　number　two　was　at　the　same　instant　lying　on　

his　back　at　the　bottom　of　the　boat；　with　his　legs　in　the　air；　apparently　

in　a　fit。



They　passed　under　Kew　Bridge；　broadside；　at　the　rate　of　eight　miles　an　

hour。　Joskins　being　the　only　one　who　was　rowing。　　George；　on　recovering　

his　seat；　tried　to　help　him；　but；　on　dipping　his　oar　into　the　water；　it　

immediately；　to　his　intense　surprise；　disappeared　under　the　boat；　and　

nearly　took　him　with　it。



And　then　〃cox〃　threw　both　rudder　lines　over…board；　and　burst　into　tears。



How　they　got　back　George　never　knew；　but　it　took　them　just　forty　minutes。　　

A　dense　crowd　watched　the　entertainment　from　Kew　Bridge　with　much　

interest；　and　everybody　shouted　out　to　them　different　directions。　　Three　

times　they　managed　to　get　the　boat　back　through　the　arch；　and　three　times　

they　were　carried　under　it　again；　and　every　time　〃cox〃　looked　up　and　saw　

the　bridge　above　him　he　broke　out　into　renewed　sobs。



George　said　he　little　thought　that　afternoon　that　he　should　ever　come　to　

really　like　boating。



Harris　is　more　accustomed　to　sea　rowing　than　to　river　work；　and　says　

that；　as　an　exercise；　he　prefers　it。　　I　don't。　　I　remember　taking　a　small　

boat　out　at　Eastbourne　last　summer：　I　used　to　do　a　good　deal　of　sea　

rowing　years　ago；　and　I　thought　I　should　be　all　right；　but　I　found　I　had　

forgotten　the　art　entirely。　　When　one　scull　was　deep　down　underneath　the　

water；　the　other　would　be　flourishing　wildly　about　in　the　air。　　To　get　a　

grip　of　the　water　with　both　at　the　same　time　I　had　to　stand　up。　　The　

parade　was　crowded　with　nobility　and　gentry；　and　I　had　to　pull　past　them　

in　this　ridiculous　fashion。　　I　landed　half…way　down　the　beach；　and　

secured　the　services　of　an　old　boatman　to　take　me　back。



I　like　to　watch　an　old　boatman　rowing；　especially　one　who　has　been　hired　

by　the　hour。　　There　is　something　so　beautifully　calm　and　restful　about　

his　method。　　It　is　so　free　from　that　fretful　haste；　that　vehement　

striving；　that　is　every　day　becoming　more　and　more　the　bane　of　

nineteenth…century　life。　　He　is　not　for　ever　straining　himself　to　pass　

all　the　other　boats。　　If　another　boat　overtakes　him　and　passes　him　it　

does　not　annoy　him；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　they　all　do　overtake　him　and　

pass　him　…　all　those　that　are　going　his　way。　　This　would　trouble　and　

irritate　some　people；　the　sublime　equanimity　of　the　hired　boatman　under　

the　ordeal　affords　us　a　beautiful　lesson　against　ambition　and　uppishness。



Plain　practical　rowing　of　the　get…the…boat…along　order　is　not　a　very　

difficult　art　to　acquire；　but　it　takes　a　good　deal　of　practice　before　a　

man　feels　comfortable；　when　rowing　past　girls。　　It　is　the　〃time〃　that　

worries　a　youngster。　　〃It's　jolly　funny；〃　he　says；　as　for　the　twentieth　

time　within　five　minutes　he　disentangles　his　sculls　from　yours；　〃I　can　

get　on　all　right　when　I'm　by　myself！〃



To　see　two　novices　try　to　keep　time　with　one　another　is　very　amusing。　　

Bow　finds　it　impossible　to　keep　pace　with　stroke；　because　stroke　rows　in　

such　an　extraordinary　fashion。　　Stroke　is　intensely　indignant　at　this；　

and　explains　that　what　he　has　been　endeavouring　to　do　for　the　last　ten　

minutes　is　to　adapt　his　method　to　bow's　limited　capacity。　　Bow；　in　turn；　

then　becomes　insulted；　and　requests　stroke　not　to　trouble　his　head　about　

him　（bow）；　but　to　devote　his　mind　to　setting　a　sensible　stroke。



〃Or；　shall　I　take　stroke？〃　he　adds；　with　the　evident　idea　that　that　would　

at　once　put　the　whole　matter　right。



They　splash　along　for　another　hundred　yards　with　still　moderate　success；　

and　then　the　whole　secret　of　their　trouble　bursts　upon　stroke　like　a　

flash　of　inspiration。



〃I　tell　you　what　it　is：　you've　got　my　sculls；〃　he　cries；　turning　to　bow；　

〃pass　yours　over。〃



〃Well；　do　you　know；　I've　been　wondering　how　it　was　I　couldn't　get　on　with　

these；〃　answers　bow；　quite　brightening　up；　and　most　willingly　assisting　

in　the　exchange。　　〃NOW　we　shall　be　all　right。〃



But　they　are　not　…　not　even　then。　　Stroke　has　to　stretch　his　arms　nearly　

out　of　their　sockets　to　reach　his　sculls　now；　while　bow's　pair；　at　each　

recovery；　hit　him　a　violent　blow　in　the　chest。　　So　they　change　back　

again；　and　come　to　the　conclusion　that　the　man　has　given　them　the　wrong　

set　altogether；　and　over　their　mutual　abuse　of　this　man　they　become　quite　

friendly　and　sympathetic。



George　said　he　had　often　longed　to　take　to　punting　for　a　change。　　Punting　

is　not　as　easy　as　it　looks。　　As　in　rowing；　you　soon　learn　how　to　get　

along　and　handle　the　craft；　but　it　takes　long　practice　before　you　can　do　

this　with　dignity　and　without　getting　the　water　all　up　your　sleeve。



One　young　man　I　knew　had　a　very　sad　accident　happen　to　him　the　first　time　

he　went　punting。　　He　had　been　getting　on　so　well　that　he　had　grown　quite　

cheeky　over　the　business；　and　was　walking　up　and　down　the　punt；　working　

his　pole　with　a　careless　grace　that　was　quite　fascinating　to　watch。　　Up　

he　would　march　to　the　head　of　the　punt；　plant　his　pole；　and　then　run　

along　right　to　the　other　end；　just　like　an　old　punter。　　Oh！　it　was　grand。



And　it　would　all　have　gone　on　being　grand　if　he　had　not　unfortunately；　

while　looking