three men in a boat-第29章

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And　it　would　all　have　gone　on　being　grand　if　he　had　not　unfortunately；　

while　looking　round　to　enjoy　the　scenery；　taken　just　one　step　more　than　

there　was　any　necessity　for；　and　walked　off　the　punt　altogether。　　The　

pole　was　firmly　fixed　in　the　mud；　and　he　was　left　clinging　to　it　while　

the　punt　drifted　away。　　It　was　an　undignified　position　for　him。　　A　rude　

boy　on　the　bank　immediately　yelled　out　to　a　lagging　chum　to　〃hurry　up　and　

see　real　monkey　on　a　stick。〃



I　could　not　go　to　his　assistance；　because；　as　ill…luck　would　have　it；　we　

had　not　taken　the　proper　precaution　to　bring　out　a　spare　pole　with　us。　　I　

could　only　sit　and　look　at　him。　　His　expression　as　the　pole　slowly　sank　

with　him　I　shall　never　forget；　there　was　so　much　thought　in　it。



I　watched　him　gently　let　down　into　the　water；　and　saw　him　scramble　out；　

sad　and　wet。　　I　could　not　help　laughing；　he　looked　such　a　ridiculous　

figure。　　I　continued　to　chuckle　to　myself　about　it　for　some　time；　and　

then　it　was　suddenly　forced　in　upon　me　that　really　I　had　got　very　little　

to　laugh　at　when　I　came　to　think　of　it。　　Here　was　I；　alone　in　a　punt；　

without　a　pole；　drifting　helplessly　down　mid…stream　…　possibly　towards　a　

weir。



I　began　to　feel　very　indignant　with　my　friend　for　having　stepped　

overboard　and　gone　off　in　that　way。　　He　might；　at　all　events；　have　left　

me　the　pole。



I　drifted　on　for　about　a　quarter　of　a　mile；　and　then　I　came　in　sight　of　a　

fishing…punt　moored　in　mid…stream；　in　which　sat　two　old　fishermen。　　They　

saw　me　bearing　down　upon　them；　and　they　called　out　to　me　to　keep　out　of　

their　way。



〃I　can't；〃　I　shouted　back。



〃But　you　don't　try；〃　they　answered。



I　explained　the　matter　to　them　when　I　got　nearer；　and　they　caught　me　and　

lent　me　a　pole。　　The　weir　was　just　fifty　yards　below。　　I　am　glad　they　

happened　to　be　there。



The　first　time　I　went　punting　was　in　company　with　three　other　fellows；　

they　were　going　to　show　me　how　to　do　it。　　We　could　not　all　start　

together；　so　I　said　I　would　go　down　first　and　get　out　the　punt；　and　then　

I　could　potter　about　and　practice　a　bit　until　they　came。



I　could　not　get　a　punt　out　that　afternoon；　they　were　all　engaged；　so　I　

had　nothing　else　to　do　but　to　sit　down　on　the　bank；　watching　the　river；　

and　waiting　for　my　friends。



I　had　not　been　sitting　there　long　before　my　attention　became　attracted　to　

a　man　in　a　punt　who；　I　noticed　with　some　surprise；　wore　a　jacket　and　cap　

exactly　like　mine。　　He　was　evidently　a　novice　at　punting；　and　his　

performance　was　most　interesting。　　You　never　knew　what　was　going　to　

happen　when　he　put　the　pole　in；　he　evidently　did　not　know　himself。　　

Sometimes　he　shot　up　stream　and　sometimes　he　shot　down　stream；　and　at　

other　times　he　simply　spun　round　and　came　up　the　other　side　of　the　pole。　　

And　with　every　result　he　seemed　equally　surprised　and　annoyed。



The　people　about　the　river　began　to　get　quite　absorbed　in　him　after　a　

while；　and　to　make　bets　with　one　another　as　to　what　would　be　the　outcome　

of　his　next　push。



In　the　course　of　time　my　friends　arrived　on　the　opposite　bank；　and　they　

stopped　and　watched　him　too。　　His　back　was　towards　them；　and　they　only　

saw　his　jacket　and　cap。　　From　this　they　immediately　jumped　to　the　

conclusion　that　it　was　I；　their　beloved　companion；　who　was　making　an　

exhibition　of　himself；　and　their　delight　knew　no　bounds。　　They　commenced　

to　chaff　him　unmercifully。



I　did　not　grasp　their　mistake　at　first；　and　I　thought；　〃How　rude　of　them　

to　go　on　like　that；　with　a　perfect　stranger；　too！〃　　But　before　I　could　

call　out　and　reprove　them；　the　explanation　of　the　matter　occurred　to　me；　

and　I　withdrew　behind　a　tree。



Oh；　how　they　enjoyed　themselves；　ridiculing　that　young　man！　　For　five　

good　minutes　they　stood　there；　shouting　ribaldry　at　him；　deriding　him；　

mocking　him；　jeering　at　him。　　They　peppered　him　with　stale　jokes；　they　

even　made　a　few　new　ones　and　threw　at　him。　　They　hurled　at　him　all　the　

private　family　jokes　belonging　to　our　set；　and　which　must　have　been　

perfectly　unintelligible　to　him。　　And　then；　unable　to　stand　their　brutal　

jibes　any　longer；　he　turned　round　on　them；　and　they　saw　his　face！



I　was　glad　to　notice　that　they　had　sufficient　decency　left　in　them　to　

look　very　foolish。　　They　explained　to　him　that　they　had　thought　he　was　

some　one　they　knew。　　They　said　they　hoped　he　would　not　deem　them　capable　

of　so　insulting　any　one　except　a　personal　friend　of　their　own。



Of　course　their　having　mistaken　him　for　a　friend　excused　it。　　I　remember　

Harris　telling　me　once　of　a　bathing　experience　he　had　at　Boulogne。　　He　

was　swimming　about　there　near　the　beach；　when　he　felt　himself　suddenly　

seized　by　the　neck　from　behind；　and　forcibly　plunged　under　water。　　He　

struggled　violently；　but　whoever　had　got　hold　of　him　seemed　to　be　a　

perfect　Hercules　in　strength；　and　all　his　efforts　to　escape　were　

unavailing。　　He　had　given　up　kicking；　and　was　trying　to　turn　his　thoughts　

upon　solemn　things；　when　his　captor　released　him。



He　regained　his　feet；　and　looked　round　for　his　would…be　murderer。　　The　

assassin　was　standing　close　by　him；　laughing　heartily；　but　the　moment　he　

caught　sight　of　Harris's　face；　as　it　emerged　from　the　water；　he　started　

back　and　seemed　quite　concerned。



〃I　really　beg　your　pardon；〃　he　stammered　confusedly；　〃but　I　took　you　for　

a　friend　of　mine！〃



Harris　thought　it　was　lucky　for　him　the　man　had　not　mistaken　him　for　a　

relation；　or　he　would　probably　have　been　drowned　outright。



Sailing　is　a　thing　that　wants　knowledge　and　practice　too　…　though；　as　a　

boy；　I　did　not　think　so。　　I　had　an　idea　it　came　natural　to　a　body；　like　

rounders　and　touch。　　I　knew　another　boy　who　held　this　view　likewise；　and　

so；　one　windy　day；　we　thought　we　would　try　the　sport。　　We　were　stopping　

down　at　Yarmouth；　and　we　decided　we　would　go　for　a　trip　up　the　Yare。　　We　

hired　a　sailing　boat　at　the　yard　by　the　bridge；　and　started　off。　　〃It's　

rather　a　rough　day；〃　said　the　man　to　us；　as　we　put　off：　〃better　take　in　a　

reef　and　luff　sharp　when　you　get　round　the　bend。〃



We　said　we　would　make　a　point　of　it；　and　left　him　with　a　cheery　〃Good…

morning；〃　wondering　to　ourselves　how　you　〃luffed；〃　and　where　we　were　to　

get　a　〃reef〃　from；　and　what　we　were　to　do　with　it　when　we　had　got　it。



We　rowed　until　we　were　out　of　sight　of　the　town；　and　then；　with　a　wide　

stretch　of　water　in　front　of　us；　and　the　wind　blowing　a　perfect　hurricane　

across　it；　we　felt　that　the　time　had　come　to　commence　operations。



Hector　…　I　think　that　was　his　name　…　went　on　pulling　while　I　unrolled　the　

sail。　　It　seemed　a　complicated　job；　but　I　accomplished　it　at　length；　and　

then　came　the　question；　which　was　the　top　end？



By　a　sort　of　natural　instinct；　we；　of　course；　eventually　decided　that　the　

bottom　was　the　top；　and　set　to　work　to　fix　it　upside…down。　　But　it　was　a　

long　time　before　we　could　get　it　up；　either　that　way　or　any　other　way。　　

The　impression　on　the　mind　of　the　sail　seemed　to　be　that　we　were　playing　

at　funerals；　and　that　I　was　the　corpse　and　itself　was　the　winding…sheet。



When　it　found　that　this　was　not　the　idea；　it　hit　me　over　the　head　with　

the　boom；　and　refused　to　do　anything。



〃Wet　it；〃　said　Hector；　〃drop　it　over　and　get　it　wet。〃



He　said　people　in　ships　always　wetted　the　sails　before　they　put　them　up。　　

So　I　wetted　it；　but　that　only　made　matters　worse　than　they　were　before。　　

A　dry　sail　clinging　to　your　legs　and　wrapping　itself　round　your　head　is　

not　pleasant；　but；　when　the　sail　is　sopping　wet；　it　becomes　quite　vexing。



We　did　get　the　thing　up　at　last；　the　two　of　us　together。　　We　fixed　it；　

not　exactly　upside　down　…　more　sideways　like　…　and　we　tied　it　up　to　the　

mast　with　the　painter；　which　we　cut　off　for　the　purpose。



That　the　boat　did　not　upset　I　simply　state　as　a　fact。　　Why　it　did　not　

upset　I　am　unable　to　offer　any　reason。　　I　have　often　thought　about　the　

matter　since；　but　I　have　never　succeeded　in　arriving　at　any　satisfactory　

explanation　of　the　phenomenon。



Possibly　the　result　may　have　been　brought　about　by　the　natural　obstinacy　

of　all　things　in　this　world。　　The　boat　may　possibly　have　come　to　the　

conclusion；　judging　from　a　cursory　view　of　our　behaviour；　that　we　had　

come　out　for　a　morning's　suicide；　and　had　thereupon　determined　to　

disappoint　us。　　That　is　the　only　suggestion　I　can　offer。



By　clinging　like　grim　death　to　the　gunwale；　we　just　managed　to　keep　

inside　the　boat；　but　it　was　exhausting　work。　　Hector　said　that　pirates　

and　other　seafaring　people　generally　lashed　the　rudder　to　something　or　

other；　and　hauled　in　the　main　top…jib；　during　severe　squalls；　and　thought　

we　ought　to　try　to　do　something　of　the　kind；　but　I　was　for　letting　her　

have　her　head　to　the　wind。



As　my　advice　was　by　far　the　easiest　to　follow；　we　ended　by　adopting　it；　

and　contrived　to　embrace　the　gunwale　and　give　her　her　head。



The　boat　travelled　up　stream　for　about　a　mile　at　a　pace　I　have　never　

sailed　at　since；　and　don't　want　to　again。　　Then；　at　a　bend；　she　heeled　

over　till　half　her　sail　was　under　water。　　Then　she　righted　herself　by　a　

miracle　and　flew　for　a　long　low　bank　of　soft　mud。



That　mud…bank　saved　us。　　The　boat　ploughed　its　way　into　the　middle　of　it　

and　then　stuck。　　Finding　that　we　were　once　more　able　to　move　according　to　

our　ideas；　instead　of　being　pitched　and　thrown　about　like　peas　in　a　

bladder；　we　crept　forward；　and　cut　down　the　sail。



We　had　had　enough　sailing。　　We　did　not　want　to　overdo　the　thing　and　get　a　

surfeit　of　it。　　We　had　had　a　sail　…　a　good　all…round　exciting；　

interesting　sail　…　and　now　we　thought　we　would　have　a　row；　just　for　a　

change　like。



We　took　the　sculls　and　tried　to　push　the　boat　off　the　mud；　and；　in　doing　

so；　we　broke　one　of　the　sculls。　　After　that　we　proceeded　with　great　

caution；　but　they　were　a　wretched　old　pair；　and　the　second　one　cracked　

almost　easier　than　the　first；　and　left　us　helpless。



The　mud　stretched　out　for　about　a　hundred　yards　in　front　of　us；　and　

behind　us　was　the　water。　　The　only　thing　to　be　done　was　to　sit　and　wait　

until　someone　came　by。



It　was　not　the　sort　of　day　to　attract　people　out　on　the　river；　and　it　was　

three　hours　before　a　soul　came　in　sight。　　It　was　an　old　fisherman　who；　

with　immense　difficulty；　at　last　rescued　us；　and　we　were　towed　back　in　an　

ignominious　fashion　to　the　boat…yard。



What　between　tipping　the　man　who　had　brought　us　home；　and　paying　for　the　

broken　sculls；　and　for　having　been　out　four　hours　and　a　half；　it　cost　us　

a　pretty　considerable　number　of　weeks'　pocket…money；　that　sail。　　But　we　

learned　experience；　and　they　say　that　is　always　cheap　at　any　price。









CHAPTER　XVI。





READING。　…　WE　ARE　TOWED　BY　STEAM　LAUNCH。　…　IRRITATING　BEHAVIOUR　OF　SMALL　

BOATS。　…　HOW　THEY　GET　IN　THE　WAY　OF　STEAM　LAUNCHES。　…　GEORGE　AND　HARRIS　

AGAIN　SHIRK　THEIR　WORK。　…　RATHER　A　HACKNEYED　STORY。　…　ST