three men in a boat-第31章

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anything　of　that　kind；　I　might　be　satisfactory；　but　that；　to　gain　any　

position　as　a　Thames　angler；　would　require　more　play　of　fancy；　more　power　

of　invention　than　I　appeared　to　possess。



Some　people　are　under　the　impression　that　all　that　is　required　to　make　a　

good　fisherman　is　the　ability　to　tell　lies　easily　and　without　blushing；　

but　this　is　a　mistake。　　Mere　bald　fabrication　is　useless；　the　veriest　

tyro　can　manage　that。　　It　is　in　the　circumstantial　detail；　the　

embellishing　touches　of　probability；　the　general　air　of　scrupulous　…　

almost　of　pedantic　…　veracity；　that　the　experienced　angler　is　seen。



Anybody　can　come　in　and　say；　〃Oh；　I　caught　fifteen　dozen　perch　yesterday　

evening；〃　or　〃Last　Monday　I　landed　a　gudgeon；　weighing　eighteen　pounds；　

and　measuring　three　feet　from　the　tip　to　the　tail。〃



There　is　no　art；　no　skill；　required　for　that　sort　of　thing。　　It　shows　

pluck；　but　that　is　all。



No；　your　accomplished　angler　would　scorn　to　tell　a　lie；　that　way。　　His　

method　is　a　study　in　itself。



He　comes　in　quietly　with　his　hat　on；　appropriates　the　most　comfortable　

chair；　lights　his　pipe；　and　commences　to　puff　in　silence。　　He　lets　the　

youngsters　brag　away　for　a　while；　and　then；　during　a　momentary　lull；　he　

removes　the　pipe　from　his　mouth；　and　remarks；　as　he　knocks　the　ashes　out　

against　the　bars：



〃Well；　I　had　a　haul　on　Tuesday　evening　that　it's　not　much　good　my　telling　

anybody　about。〃



〃Oh！　why's　that？〃　they　ask。



〃Because　I　don't　expect　anybody　would　believe　me　if　I　did；〃　replies　the　

old　fellow　calmly；　and　without　even　a　tinge　of　bitterness　in　his　tone；　as　

he　refills　his　pipe；　and　requests　the　landlord　to　bring　him　three　of　

Scotch；　cold。



There　is　a　pause　after　this；　nobody　feeling　sufficiently　sure　of　himself　

to　contradict　the　old　gentleman。　　So　he　has　to　go　on　by　himself　without　

any　encouragement。



〃No；〃　he　continues　thoughtfully；　〃I　shouldn't　believe　it　myself　if　

anybody　told　it　to　me；　but　it's　a　fact；　for　all　that。　　I　had　been　sitting　

there　all　the　afternoon　and　had　caught　literally　nothing　…　except　a　few　

dozen　dace　and　a　score　of　jack；　and　I　was　just　about　giving　it　up　as　a　

bad　job　when　I　suddenly　felt　a　rather　smart　pull　at　the　line。　　I　thought　

it　was　another　little　one；　and　I　went　to　jerk　it　up。　　Hang　me；　if　I　could　

move　the　rod！　　It　took　me　half…an…hour　…　half…an…hour；　sir！　…　to　land　

that　fish；　and　every　moment　I　thought　the　line　was　going　to　snap！　　I　

reached　him　at　last；　and　what　do　you　think　it　was？　　A　sturgeon！　a　forty　

pound　sturgeon！　taken　on　a　line；　sir！　　Yes；　you　may　well　look　surprised　…　

I'll　have　another　three　of　Scotch；　landlord；　please。〃



And　then　he　goes　on　to　tell　of　the　astonishment　of　everybody　who　saw　it；　

and　what　his　wife　said；　when　he　got　home；　and　of　what　Joe　Buggles　thought　

about　it。



I　asked　the　landlord　of　an　inn　up　the　river　once；　if　it　did　not　injure　

him；　sometimes；　listening　to　the　tales　that　the　fishermen　about　there　

told　him；　and　he　said：



〃Oh；　no；　not　now；　sir。　　It　did　used　to　knock　me　over　a　bit　at　first；　but；　

lor　love　you！　me　and　the　missus　we　listens　to　‘em　all　day　now。　　It's　what　

you're　used　to；　you　know。　　It's　what　you're　used　to。〃



I　knew　a　young　man　once；　he　was　a　most　conscientious　fellow；　and；　when　he　

took　to　fly…fishing；　he　determined　never　to　exaggerate　his　hauls　by　more　

than　twenty…five　per　cent。



〃When　I　have　caught　forty　fish；〃　said　he；　〃then　I　will　tell　people　that　I　

have　caught　fifty；　and　so　on。　　But　I　will　not　lie　any　more　than　that；　

because　it　is　sinful　to　lie。〃



But　the　twenty…five　per　cent。　plan　did　not　work　well　at　all。　　He　never　

was　able　to　use　it。　　The　greatest　number　of　fish　he　ever　caught　in　one　

day　was　three；　and　you　can't　add　twenty…five　per　cent。　to　three　…　at　

least；　not　in　fish。



So　he　increased　his　percentage　to　thirty…three…and…a…third；　but　that；　

again；　was　awkward；　when　he　had　only　caught　one　or　two；　so；　to　simplify　

matters；　he　made　up　his　mind　to　just　double　the　quantity。



He　stuck　to　this　arrangement　for　a　couple　of　months；　and　then　he　grew　

dissatisfied　with　it。　　Nobody　believed　him　when　he　told　them　that　he　only　

doubled；　and　he；　therefore；　gained　no　credit　that　way　whatever；　while　his　

moderation　put　him　at　a　disadvantage　among　the　other　anglers。　　When　he　

had　really　caught　three　small　fish；　and　said　he　had　caught　six；　it　used　

to　make　him　quite　jealous　to　hear　a　man；　whom　he　knew　for　a　fact　had　only　

caught　one；　going　about　telling　people　he　had　landed　two　dozen。



So；　eventually；　he　made　one　final　arrangement　with　himself；　which　he　has　

religiously　held　to　ever　since；　and　that　was　to　count　each　fish　that　he　

caught　as　ten；　and　to　assume　ten　to　begin　with。　　For　example；　if　he　did　

not　catch　any　fish　at　all；　then　he　said　he　had　caught　ten　fish　…　you　

could　never　catch　less　than　ten　fish　by　his　system；　that　was　the　

foundation　of　it。　　Then；　if　by　any　chance　he　really　did　catch　one　fish；　

he　called　it　twenty；　while　two　fish　would　count　thirty；　three　forty；　and　

so　on。



It　is　a　simple　and　easily　worked　plan；　and　there　has　been　some　talk　

lately　of　its　being　made　use　of　by　the　angling　fraternity　in　general。　　

Indeed；　the　Committee　of　the　Thames　Angler's　Association　did　recommend　

its　adoption　about　two　years　ago；　but　some　of　the　older　members　opposed　

it。　　They　said　they　would　consider　the　idea　if　the　number　were　doubled；　

and　each　fish　counted　as　twenty。



If　ever　you　have　an　evening　to　spare；　up　the　river；　I　should　advise　you　

to　drop　into　one　of　the　little　village　inns；　and　take　a　seat　in　the　tap…

room。　　You　will　be　nearly　sure　to　meet　one　or　two　old　rod…men；　sipping　

their　toddy　there；　and　they　will　tell　you　enough　fishy　stories；　in　half　

an　hour；　to　give　you　indigestion　for　a　month。



George　and　I　…　I　don't　know　what　had　become　of　Harris；　he　had　gone　out　

and　had　a　shave；　early　in　the　afternoon；　and　had　then　come　back　and　spent　

full　forty　minutes　in　pipeclaying　his　shoes；　we　had　not　seen　him　since　…　

George　and　I；　therefore；　and　the　dog；　left　to　ourselves；　went　for　a　walk　

to　Wallingford　on　the　second　evening；　and；　coming　home；　we　called　in　at　a　

little　river…side　inn；　for　a　rest；　and　other　things。



We　went　into　the　parlour　and　sat　down。　　There　was　an　old　fellow　there；　

smoking　a　long　clay　pipe；　and　we　naturally　began　chatting。



He　told　us　that　it　had　been　a　fine　day　to…day；　and　we　told　him　that　it　

had　been　a　fine　day　yesterday；　and　then　we　all　told　each　other　that　we　

thought　it　would　be　a　fine　day　to…morrow；　and　George　said　the　crops　

seemed　to　be　coming　up　nicely。



After　that　it　came　out；　somehow　or　other；　that　we　were　strangers　in　the　

neighbourhood；　and　that　we　were　going　away　the　next　morning。



Then　a　pause　ensued　in　the　conversation；　during　which　our　eyes　wandered　

round　the　room。　　They　finally　rested　upon　a　dusty　old　glass…case；　fixed　

very　high　up　above　the　chimney…piece；　and　containing　a　trout。　　It　rather　

fascinated　me；　that　trout；　it　was　such　a　monstrous　fish。　　In　fact；　at　

first　glance；　I　thought　it　was　a　cod。



〃Ah！〃　said　the　old　gentleman；　following　the　direction　of　my　gaze；　〃fine　

fellow　that；　ain't　he？〃



〃Quite　uncommon；〃　I　murmured；　and　George　asked　the　old　man　how　much　he　

thought　it　weighed。



〃Eighteen　pounds　six　ounces；〃　said　our　friend；　rising　and　taking　down　his　

coat。　　〃Yes；〃　he　continued；　〃it　wur　sixteen　year　ago；　come　the　third　o'　

next　month；　that　I　landed　him。　　I　caught　him　just　below　the　bridge　with　a　

minnow。　　They　told　me　he　wur　in　the　river；　and　I　said　I'd　have　him；　and　

so　I　did。　　You　don't　see　many　fish　that　size　about　here　now；　I'm　

thinking。　　Good…night；　gentlemen；　good…night。〃



And　out　he　went；　and　left　us　alone。



We　could　not　take　our　eyes　off　the　fish　after　that。　　It　really　was　a　

remarkably　fine　fish。　　We　were　still　looking　at　it；　when　the　local　

carrier；　who　had　just　stopped　at　the　inn；　came　to　the　door　of　the　room　

with　a　pot　of　beer　in　his　hand；　and　he　also　looked　at　the　fish。



〃Good…sized　trout；　that；〃　said　George；　turning　round　to　him。



〃Ah！　you　may　well　say　that；　sir；〃　replied　the　man；　and　then；　after　a　pull　

at　his　beer；　he　added；　〃Maybe　you　wasn't　here；　sir；　when　that　fish　was　

caught？〃



〃No；〃　we　told　him。　　We　were　strangers　in　the　neighbourhood。



〃Ah！〃　said　the　carrier；　〃then；　of　course；　how　should　you？　　It　was　nearly　

five　years　ago　that　I　caught　that　trout。〃



〃Oh！　was　it　you　who　caught　it；　then？〃　said　I。



〃Yes；　sir；〃　replied　the　genial　old　fellow。　　〃I　caught　him　just　below　the　

lock　…　leastways；　what　was　the　lock　then　…　one　Friday　afternoon；　and　the　

remarkable　thing　about　it　is　that　I　caught　him　with　a　fly。　　I'd　gone　out　

pike　fishing；　bless　you；　never　thinking　of　a　trout；　and　when　I　saw　that　

whopper　on　the　end　of　my　line；　blest　if　it　didn't　quite　take　me　aback。　　

Well；　you　see；　he　weighed　twenty…six　pound。　　Good…night；　gentlemen；　good…

night。〃



Five　minutes　afterwards；　a　third　man　came　in；　and　described　how　he　had　

caught　it　early　one　morning；　with　bleak；　and　then　he　left；　and　a　stolid；　

solemn…looking；　middle…aged　individual　came　in；　and　sat　down　over　by　the　

window。



None　of　us　spoke　for　a　while；　but；　at　length；　George　turned　to　the　new　

comer；　and　said：



〃I　beg　your　pardon；　I　hope　you　will　forgive　the　liberty　that　we　…　perfect　

strangers　in　the　neighbourhood　…　are　taking；　but　my　friend　here　and　

myself　would　be　so　much　obliged　if　you　would　tell　us　how　you　caught　that　

trout　up　there。〃



〃Why；　who　told　you　I　caught　that　trout！〃　was　the　surprised　query。



We　said　that　nobody　had　told　us　so；　but　somehow　or　other　we　felt　

instinctively　that　it　was　he　who　had　done　it。



〃Well；　it's　a　most　remarkable　thing　…　most　remarkable；〃　answered　the　

stolid　stranger；　laughing；　〃because；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　you　are　quite　

right。　　I　did　catch　it。　　But　fancy　your　guessing　it　like　that。　　Dear　me；　

it's　really　a　most　remarkable　thing。〃



And　then　he　went　on；　and　told　us　how　it　had　taken　him　half　an　hour　to　

land　it；　and　how　it　had　broken　his　rod。　　He　said　he　had　weighed　it　

carefully　when　he　reached　home；　and　it　had　turned　the　scale　at　thirty…

four　pounds。



He　went　in　his　turn；　and　when　he　was　gone；　the　landlord　came　in　to　us。　　

We　told　him　the　various　histories　we　had　heard　about　his　trout；　and　he　

was　immensely　amused；　and　we　all　laughed　very　heartily。



〃Fancy　Jim　Bates　and　Joe　Muggles　and　Mr。　Jones　and　old　Billy　Maunders　all　

telling　you　that　they　had　caught　it。　　Ha！　ha！　ha！　　Well；　that　is　good；〃　

said　the　honest　old　fellow；　laughing　heartily。　　〃Yes；　they　are　the　sort　

to　give　it　ME；　to　put　up　in　MY　parlour；　if　THEY　had　caught　it；　they　are！　　

Ha！　ha！　ha！〃



And　then　he　told　us　the　real　history　of　the　fish。　　It　seemed　that　he　had　

caught　it　himself；　years　ago；　when　he　was　quite　a　lad；　not　by　any　art　or　

skill；　but　by　that　unaccountable　luck　that　appears　to　always　wait　upon