three men in a boat-第8章

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simply　pouring　with　rain　outside；　and　had　been　all　day；　and　I　couldn't　

quite　make　matters　out。　　I　tapped　the　barometer；　and　it　jumped　up　and　

pointed　to　〃very　dry。〃　　The　Boots　stopped　as　he　was　passing；　and　said　he　

expected　it　meant　to…morrow。　　I　fancied　that　maybe　it　was　thinking　of　the　

week　before　last；　but　Boots　said；　No；　he　thought　not。



I　tapped　it　again　the　next　morning；　and　it　went　up　still　higher；　and　the　

rain　came　down　faster　than　ever。　　On　Wednesday　I　went　and　hit　it　again；　

and　the　pointer　went　round　towards　〃set　fair；〃　〃very　dry；〃　and　〃much　

heat；〃　until　it　was　stopped　by　the　peg；　and　couldn't　go　any　further。　　It　

tried　its　best；　but　the　instrument　was　built　so　that　it　couldn't　prophesy　

fine　weather　any　harder　than　it　did　without　breaking　itself。　　It　

evidently　wanted　to　go　on；　and　prognosticate　drought；　and　water　famine；　

and　sunstroke；　and　simooms；　and　such　things；　but　the　peg　prevented　it；　

and　it　had　to　be　content　with　pointing　to　the　mere　commonplace　〃very　

dry。〃



Meanwhile；　the　rain　came　down　in　a　steady　torrent；　and　the　lower　part　of　

the　town　was　under　water；　owing　to　the　river　having　overflowed。



Boots　said　it　was　evident　that　we　were　going　to　have　a　prolonged　spell　of　

grand　weather　SOME　TIME；　and　read　out　a　poem　which　was　printed　over　the　

top　of　the　oracle；　about





〃Long　foretold；　long　last；

Short　notice；　soon　past。〃





The　fine　weather　never　came　that　summer。　　I　expect　that　machine　must　have　

been　referring　to　the　following　spring。



Then　there　are　those　new　style　of　barometers；　the　long　straight　ones。　　I　

never　can　make　head　or　tail　of　those。　　There　is　one　side　for　10　a。m。　

yesterday；　and　one　side　for　10　a。m。　to…day；　but　you　can't　always　get　

there　as　early　as　ten；　you　know。　　It　rises　or　falls　for　rain　and　fine；　

with　much　or　less　wind；　and　one　end　is　〃Nly〃　and　the　other　〃Ely〃　（what's　

Ely　got　to　do　with　it？）；　and　if　you　tap　it；　it　doesn't　tell　you　anything。　　

And　you've　got　to　correct　it　to　sea…level；　and　reduce　it　to　Fahrenheit；　

and　even　then　I　don't　know　the　answer。



But　who　wants　to　be　foretold　the　weather？　　It　is　bad　enough　when　it　

comes；　without　our　having　the　misery　of　knowing　about　it　beforehand。　　The　

prophet　we　like　is　the　old　man　who；　on　the　particularly　gloomy…looking　

morning　of　some　day　when　we　particularly　want　it　to　be　fine；　looks　round　

the　horizon　with　a　particularly　knowing　eye；　and　says：



〃Oh　no；　sir；　I　think　it　will　clear　up　all　right。　　It　will　break　all　right　

enough；　sir。〃



〃Ah；　he　knows〃；　we　say；　as　we　wish　him　good…morning；　and　start　off；　

〃wonderful　how　these　old　fellows　can　tell！〃



And　we　feel　an　affection　for　that　man　which　is　not　at　all　lessened　by　the　

circumstances　of　its　NOT　clearing　up；　but　continuing　to　rain　steadily　all　

day。



〃Ah；　well；〃　we　feel；　〃he　did　his　best。〃



For　the　man　that　prophesies　us　bad　weather；　on　the　contrary；　we　entertain　

only　bitter　and　revengeful　thoughts。



〃Going　to　clear　up；　d'ye　think？〃　we　shout；　cheerily；　as　we　pass。



〃Well；　no；　sir；　I'm　afraid　it's　settled　down　for　the　day；〃　he　replies；　

shaking　his　head。



〃Stupid　old　fool！〃　we　mutter；　〃what's　HE　know　about　it？〃　　And；　if　his　

portent　proves　correct；　we　come　back　feeling　still　more　angry　against　

him；　and　with　a　vague　notion　that；　somehow　or　other；　he　has　had　something　

to　do　with　it。



It　was　too　bright　and　sunny　on　this　especial　morning　for　George's　blood…

curdling　readings　about　〃Bar。　falling；〃　〃atmospheric　disturbance；　passing　

in　an　oblique　line　over　Southern　Europe；〃　and　〃pressure　increasing；〃　to　

very　much　upset　us：　and　so；　finding　that　he　could　not　make　us　wretched；　

and　was　only　wasting　his　time；　he　sneaked　the　cigarette　that　I　had　

carefully　rolled　up　for　myself；　and　went。



Then　Harris　and　I；　having　finished　up　the　few　things　left　on　the　table；　

carted　out　our　luggage　on　to　the　doorstep；　and　waited　for　a　cab。



There　seemed　a　good　deal　of　luggage；　when　we　put　it　all　together。　　　There　

was　the　Gladstone　and　the　small　hand…bag；　and　the　two　hampers；　and　a　

large　roll　of　rugs；　and　some　four　or　five　overcoats　and　macintoshes；　and　

a　few　umbrellas；　and　then　there　was　a　melon　by　itself　in　a　bag；　because　

it　was　too　bulky　to　go　in　anywhere；　and　a　couple　of　pounds　of　grapes　in　

another　bag；　and　a　Japanese　paper　umbrella；　and　a　frying　pan；　which；　

being　too　long　to　pack；　we　had　wrapped　round　with　brown　paper。



It　did　look　a　lot；　and　Harris　and　I　began　to　feel　rather　ashamed　of　it；　

though　why　we　should　be；　I　can't　see。　　No　cab　came　by；　but　the　street　

boys　did；　and　got　interested　in　the　show；　apparently；　and　stopped。



Biggs's　boy　was　the　first　to　come　round。　　Biggs　is　our　greengrocer；　and　

his　chief　talent　lies　in　securing　the　services　of　the　most　abandoned　and　

unprincipled　errand…boys　that　civilisation　has　as　yet　produced。　　If　

anything　more　than　usually　villainous　in　the　boy…line　crops　up　in　our　

neighbourhood；　we　know　that　it　is　Biggs's　latest。　　I　was　told　that；　at　

the　time　of　the　Great　Coram　Street　murder；　it　was　promptly　concluded　by　

our　street　that　Biggs's　boy　（for　that　period）　was　at　the　bottom　of　it；　

and　had　he　not　been　able；　in　reply　to　the　severe　cross…examination　to　

which　he　was　subjected　by　No。　19；　when　he　called　there　for　orders　the　

morning　after　the　crime　（assisted　by　No。　21；　who　happened　to　be　on　the　

step　at　the　time）；　to　prove　a　complete　ALIBI；　it　would　have　gone　hard　

with　him。　　I　didn't　know　Biggs's　boy　at　that　time；　but；　from　what　I　have　

seen　of　them　since；　I　should　not　have　attached　much　importance　to　that　

ALIBI　myself。



Biggs's　boy；　as　I　have　said；　came　round　the　corner。　　He　was　evidently　in　

a　great　hurry　when　he　first　dawned　upon　the　vision；　but；　on　catching　

sight　of　Harris　and　me；　and　Montmorency；　and　the　things；　he　eased　up　and　

stared。　　Harris　and　I　frowned　at　him。　　This　might　have　wounded　a　more　

sensitive　nature；　but　Biggs's　boys　are　not；　as　a　rule；　touchy。　　He　came　

to　a　dead　stop；　a　yard　from　our　step；　and；　leaning　up　against　the　

railings；　and　selecting　a　straw　to　chew；　fixed　us　with　his　eye。　　He　

evidently　meant　to　see　this　thing　out。



In　another　moment；　the　grocer's　boy　passed　on　the　opposite　side　of　the　

street。　　Biggs's　boy　hailed　him：



〃Hi！　ground　floor　o'　42's　a…moving。〃



The　grocer's　boy　came　across；　and　took　up　a　position　on　the　other　side　of　

the　step。　　Then　the　young　gentleman　from　the　boot…shop　stopped；　and　

joined　Biggs's　boy；　while　the　empty…can　superintendent　from　〃The　Blue　

Posts〃　took　up　an　independent　position　on　the　curb。



〃They　ain't　a…going　to　starve；　are　they？　〃　said　the　gentleman　from　the　

boot…shop。



〃Ah！　you'd　want　to　take　a　thing　or　two　with　YOU；〃　retorted　〃The　Blue　

Posts；〃　〃if　you　was　a…going　to　cross　the　Atlantic　in　a　small　boat。〃



〃They　ain't　a…going　to　cross　the　Atlantic；〃　struck　in　Biggs's　boy；　

〃they're　a…going　to　find　Stanley。〃



By　this　time；　quite　a　small　crowd　had　collected；　and　people　were　asking　

each　other　what　was　the　matter。　　One　party　（the　young　and　giddy　portion　

of　the　crowd）　held　that　it　was　a　wedding；　and　pointed　out　Harris　as　the　

bridegroom；　while　the　elder　and　more　thoughtful　among　the　populace　

inclined　to　the　idea　that　it　was　a　funeral；　and　that　I　was　probably　the　

corpse's　brother。



At　last；　an　empty　cab　turned　up　（it　is　a　street　where；　as　a　rule；　and　

when　they　are　not　wanted；　empty　cabs　pass　at　the　rate　of　three　a　minute；　

and　hang　about；　and　get　in　your　way）；　and　packing　ourselves　and　our　

belongings　into　it；　and　shooting　out　a　couple　of　Montmorency's　friends；　

who　had　evidently　sworn　never　to　forsake　him；　we　drove　away　amidst　the　

cheers　of　the　crowd；　Biggs's　boy　shying　a　carrot　after　us　for　luck。



We　got　to　Waterloo　at　eleven；　and　asked　where　the　eleven…five　started　

from。　　Of　course　nobody　knew；　nobody　at　Waterloo　ever　does　know　where　a　

train　is　going　to　start　from；　or　where　a　train　when　it　does　start　is　

going　to；　or　anything　about　it。　　The　porter　who　took　our　things　thought　

it　would　go　from　number　two　platform；　while　another　porter；　with　whom　he　

discussed　the　question；　had　heard　a　rumour　that　it　would　go　from　number　

one。　　The　station…master；　on　the　other　hand；　was　convinced　it　would　start　

from　the　local。



To　put　an　end　to　the　matter；　we　went　upstairs；　and　asked　the　traffic　

superintendent；　and　he　told　us　that　he　had　just　met　a　man；　who　said　he　

had　seen　it　at　number　three　platform。　　We　went　to　number　three　platform；　

but　the　authorities　there　said　that　they　rather　thought　that　train　was　

the　Southampton　express；　or　else　the　Windsor　loop。　　But　they　were　sure　it　

wasn't　the　Kingston　train；　though　why　they　were　sure　it　wasn't　they　

couldn't　say。



Then　our　porter　said　he　thought　that　must　be　it　on　the　high…level　

platform；　said　he　thought　he　knew　the　train。　　So　we　went　to　the　high…

level　platform；　and　saw　the　engine…driver；　and　asked　him　if　he　was　going　

to　Kingston。　　He　said　he　couldn't　say　for　certain　of　course；　but　that　he　

rather　thought　he　was。　　Anyhow；　if　he　wasn't　the　11。5　for　Kingston；　he　

said　he　was　pretty　confident　he　was　the　9。32　for　Virginia　Water；　or　the　

10　a。m。　express　for　the　Isle　of　Wight；　or　somewhere　in　that　direction；　

and　we　should　all　know　when　we　got　there。　　We　slipped　half…a…crown　into　

his　hand；　and　begged　him　to　be　the　11。5　for　Kingston。



〃Nobody　will　ever　know；　on　this　line；〃　we　said；　〃what　you　are；　or　where　

you're　going。　　You　know　the　way；　you　slip　off　quietly　and　go　to　

Kingston。〃



〃Well；　I　don't　know；　gents；〃　replied　the　noble　fellow；　〃but　I　suppose　

SOME　train's　got　to　go　to　Kingston；　and　I'll　do　it。　　Gimme　the　half…

crown。〃



Thus　we　got　to　Kingston　by　the　London　and　South…Western　Railway。



We　learnt；　afterwards；　that　the　train　we　had　come　by　was　really　the　

Exeter　mail；　and　that　they　had　spent　hours　at　Waterloo；　looking　for　it；　

and　nobody　knew　what　had　become　of　it。



Our　boat　was　waiting　for　us　at　Kingston　just　below　bridge；　and　to　it　we　

wended　our　way；　and　round　it　we　stored　our　luggage；　and　into　it　we　

stepped。



〃Are　you　all　right；　sir？〃　said　the　man。



〃Right　it　is；〃　we　answered；　and　with　Harris　at　the　sculls　and　I　at　the　

tiller…lines；　and　Montmorency；　unhappy　and　deeply　suspicious；　in　the　

prow；　out　we　shot　on　to　the　waters　which；　for　a　fortnight；　were　to　be　our　

home。









CHAPTER　VI。





KINGSTON。　…　INSTRUCTIVE　REMARKS　ON　EARLY　ENGLISH　HISTORY。　…　INSTRUCTIVE　

OBSERVATIONS　ON　CARVED　OAK　AND　LIFE　IN　GENERAL。　…　SAD　CASE　OF　STIVVINGS；　

JUNIOR。　…　MUSINGS　ON　ANTIQUITY。　…　I　FORGET　THAT　I　AM　STEERING。　…　

INTERESTING　RESULT。　…　HAMPTON　COURT　MAZE。　…　HARRIS　AS　A　GUIDE。



IT　was　a　glorious　morning；　late　spring　or　early　summer；　as　you　care　to　

take　it；　when　the　dainty　sheen　of　grass　and　leaf　is　blushing　to　a　deeper　

green；　and　the　year　seems　like　a　fair　young　maid；　trembling　with　strange；　

wakening　pulses　on　the　brink　of　womanhood。



The　qu