少年维特之烦恼(英文版)-第16章

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surveyed　me。　I　no　longer　saw　in　her　face　the　charms　of　beauty　or　the　fire
of　genius　：　these　had　disappeared。　But　I　was　affected　by　an　expression
much　more　touching，　a　look　of　the　deepest　sympathy　and　of　the　softest
pity。　Why　was　I　afraid　to　throw　myself　at　her　feet？　Why　did　I　not　dare
to　take　her　in　my　arms，　and　answer　her　by　a　thousand　kisses？　She　had
recourse　to　her　piano　for　relief，　and　in　a　low　and　sweet　voice　acpanied
the　music　with　delicious　sounds。　Her　lips　never　appeared　so　lovely：　they
seemed　but　just　to　open　，　that　they　might　imbibe　the　sweet　tones　which
issued　from　the　instrument，　and　return　the　heavenly　vibration　from　her
lovely　mouth。　Oh！　who　can　express　my　sensations？　I　was　quite　overe，
and　，　bending　down　，　pronounced　this　vow：　〃Beautiful　lips，　which　the
angels　guard，　never　will　I　seek　to　profane　your　purity　with　a　kiss。〃
And　yet　，　my　friend，　oh　，　I　wish　——　but　my　heart　is　darkened　by　doubt
and　indecision——　could　I　but　taste　felicity　，　and　then　die　to　expiate
the　sin　！　What　sin　？

　　NOVEMBER　26。　Oftentimes　I　say　to　myself　，　〃Thou　alone　art　wretched
：　all　other　mortals　are　happy，　none　are　distressed　like　thee！〃　Then
I　read　a　passage　in　an　ancient　poet　，　and　I　seem　to　understand　my　own
heart。　I　have　so　much　to　endure　！　Have　men　before　me　ever　been　so　wretched？

　　NOVEMBER　30。　I　shall　never　be　myself　again！　Wherever　I　go，　some
fatality　occurs　to　distract　me。　Even　to…day　alas——　for　our　destiny！
alas　for　human　nature　！

　　About　dinner…time　I　went　to　walk　by　the　river…side，　for　I　had　no
appetite。　Everything　around　seemed　gloomy　：　a　cold　and　damp　easterly
wind　blew　from　the　mountains，　and　black，　heavy　clouds　spread　over　the
plain。　I　observed　at　a　distance　a　man　in　a　tattered　coat：　he　was　wandering
among　the　rocks　，　and　seemed　to　be　looking　for　plants。　When　I　approached，
he　turned　round　at　the　noise；　and　I　saw　that　he　had　an　interesting　countenance
in　which　a　settled　melancholy　，　strongly　marked　by　benevolence　，　formed
the　principal　feature。　His　long　black　hair　was　divided，　and　flowed　over
his　shoulders。　As　his　garb　betokened　a　person　of　the　lower　order，　I　thought
he　would　not　take　it　ill　if　I　inquired　about　his　business　；　and　I　therefore
asked　what　he　was　seeking。　He　replied　，　with　a　deep　sigh　，　that　he　was
looking　for　flowers　，　and　could　find　none。　〃But　it　is　not　the　season　，
〃　I　observed，　with　a　smile。　〃Oh，　there　are　so　many　flowers！〃　he　answered，
as　he　came　nearer　to　me。　〃In　my　garden　there　are　roses　and　honeysuckles
of　two　sorts：　one　sort　was　given　to　me　by　my　father！　they　grow　as　plentifully
as　weeds；　I　have　been　looking　for　them　these　two　days，　and　cannot　find
them。　There　are　flowers　out　there　，　yellow　，　blue　，　and　red；　and　that
centaury　has　a　very　pretty　blossom：　but　I　can　find　none　of　them。〃　I　observed
his　peculiarity　，　and　therefore　asked　him，　with　an　air　of　indifference，
what　he　intended　to　do　with　his　flowers。　A　strange　smile　overspread　his
countenance。　Holding　his　finger　to　his　mouth，　he　expressed　a　hope　that
I　would　not　betray　him；　and　he　then　informed　me　that　he　had　promised
to　gather　a　nosegay　for　his　mistress。　〃That　is　right，〃　said　I。　〃Oh　！
〃　he　replied，　〃she　possesses　many　other　things　as　well　：　she　is　very
rich。〃　〃And　yet　，〃　I　continued　，　〃she　likes　your　nosegays。〃　〃Oh　，　she
has　jewels　and　crowns　！〃　he　exclaimed。　I　asked　who　she　was。　〃If　the　states…general
would　but　pay　me，〃　he　added，　〃I　should　be　quite　another　man。　Alas　！
there　was　a　time　when　I　was　so　happy；　but　that　is　past　，　and　I　am　now
——〃　He　raised　his　swimming　eyes　to　heaven。　〃And　you　were　happy　once　？
〃　I　observed。　〃Ah　，　would　I　were　so　still！〃　was　his　reply。　〃I　was　then
as　gay　and　contented　as　a　man　can　be。〃　An　old　woman　，　who　was　ing
toward　us　，　now　called　out　，　〃Henry　，　Henry！　where　are　you？　We　have
been　looking　for　you　everywhere　：　e　to　dinner。〃　〃Is　he　your　son　？
〃　I　inquired，　as　I　went　toward　her。　〃Yes　，〃　she　said：　〃he　is　my　poor，
unfortunate　son。　The　Lord　has　sent　me　a　heavy　affliction。〃　I　asked　whether
he　had　been　long　in　this　state。　She　answered，　〃He　has　been　as　calm　as
he　is　at　present　for　about　six　months。　I　thank　Heaven　that　he　has　so　far
recovered　：　he　was　for　one　whole　year　quite　raving　，　and　chained　down
in　a　madhouse。　Now　he　injures　no　one，　but　talks　of　nothing　else　than
kings　and　queens。　He　used　to　be　a　very　good　，　quiet　youth，　and　helped
to　maintain　me；　he　wrote　a　very　fine　hand；　but　all　at　once　he　became
melancholy，　was　seized　with　a　violent　fever，　grew　distracted，　and　is
now　as　you　see。　If　I　were　only　to　tell　you，　sir——〃　I　interrupted　her
by　asking　what　period　it　was　in　which　he　boasted　of　having　been　so　happy。
〃Poor　boy　！〃　she　exclaimed　，　with　a　smile　of　cormpassion，　〃he　means
the　time　when　he　was　pletely　deranged，　a　time　he　never　ceases　to　regret，
when　he　was　in　the　madhouse　，　and　unconscious　of　everything。〃　I　was　thunderstruck
：　I　placed　a　piece　of　money　in　her　hand，　and　hastened　away。

　　〃You　were　happy　！〃　I　exclaimed　，　as　I　returned　quickly　to　the　town，
〃'as　gay　and　contented　as　a　man　can　be！'〃　God　of　heaven！　and　is　this
the　destiny　of　man？　Is　he　only　happy　before　he　has　acquired　his　reason，
or　after　he　has　lost　it　？　Unfortunate　being！　And　yet　I　envy　your　fate
：　I　envy　the　delusion　to　which　you　are　a　victim。　You　go　forth　with　joy
to　gather　flowers　for　your　princess　，——　in　winter，——　and　grieve
when　you　can　find　none，　and　cannot　understand　why　they　do　not　grow。　But
I　wander　forth　without　joy，　without　hope　，　without　design　；　and　I　return
as　I　came。　You　fancy　what　a　man　you　would　be　if　the　states　general　paid
you。　Happy　mortal　，　who　can　ascribe　your　wretchedness　to　an　earthly　cause！
You　do　not　know　，　you　do　not　feel，　that　in　your　own　distracted　heart
and　disordered　brain　dwells　the　source　of　that　unhappiness　which　all　the
potentates　on　earth　cannot　relieve。

　　Let　that　man　die　unconsoled　who　can　deride　the　invalid　for　undertaking
a　journey　to　distant，　healthful　springs，　where　he　often　finds　only　a
heavier　disease　and　a　more　painful　death，　or　who　can　exult　over　the　despairing
mind　of　a　sinner，　who，　to　obtain　peace　of　conscience　and　an　alleviation
of　misery　，　makes　a　pilgrimage　to　the　Holy　Sepulchre。　Each　laborious
step　which　galls　his　wounded　feet　in　rough　and　untrodden　paths　pours　a
drop　of　balm　into　his　troubled　soul　，　and　the　journey　of　many　a　weary
day　brings　a　nightly　relief　to　his　anguished　heart。　Will　you　dare　call
this　enthusiasm　，　ye　crowd　of　pompous　declaimers　？　Enthusiasm　！　0　God！
thou　seest　my　tears。　Thou　hast　allotted　us　our　portion　of　misery：　must
we　also　have　brethren　to　persecute　us　，　to　deprive　us　of　our　consolation，
of　our　trust　in　thee，　and　in　thy　love　and　mercy？　For　our　trust　in　the
virtue　of　the　healing　root，　or　in　the　strength　of　the　vine　，　what　is
it　else　than　a　belief　in　thee　from　whom　all　that　surrounds　us　derives
its　healing　and　restoring　powers？　Father　，　whom　I　know　not，——　who
wert　once　wont　to　fill　my　soul，　but　who　now　hidest　thy　face　from　me，
——　call　me　back　to　thee　；　be　silent　no　longer；　thy　silence　shall　not
delay　a　soul　which　thirsts　after　thee。　What　man　，　what　father，　could
be　angry　with　a　son　for　returning　to　him　suddenly　，　for　falling　on　his
neck，　and　exclaiming　，　〃I　am　here　again　，　my　father！　forgive　me　if
I　have　anticipated　my　journey　，　and　returned　before　the　appointed　time！
The　world　is　everywhere　the　same，——　a　scene　of　labour　and　pain　，　of
pleasure　and　reward　；　but　what　does　it　all　avail　？　I　am　happy　only　where
thou　art，　and　in　thy　presence　am　I　content　to　suffer　or　enjoy。〃　And　wouldst
thou，　heavenly　Father，　banish　such　a　child　from　thy　presence？

　　DECEMBER　1。　Wilhelm　，　the　man　about　whom　I　wrote　to　you——　that
man　so　enviable　in　his　misfortunes——　was　secretary　to　Charlotte's　father
；　and　an　unhappy　passion　for　her　which　he　cherished，　concealed，　and
at　length　discovered，　caused　him　to　be　dismissed　from　his　situation。
This　made　him　mad。　Think，　whilst　you　peruse　this　plain　narration　，　what
an　impression　the　circumstance　has　made　upon　me　！　But　it　was　related
to　me　by　Albert　with　as　much　calmness　as　you　will　probably　peruse　it。

　　DECEMBER　4。　I　implore　your　attention。　It　is　all　over　with　me。　I　can
support　this　state　no　longer。　To…day　I　was　sitting　by　Charlotte。　She　was
playing　upon　her　piano　a　succession　of　delightful　melodies，　with　such
intense　expression！　Her　little　sister　was　dressing　her　doll　upon　my　lap。
The　tears　came　into　my　eyes。　I　leaned　down，　and　looked　intently　at　her
wedding…ring：　my　tears　fell——　immediately　she　began　to　play　that　favourite，
that　divine　，　air　which　has　so　often　enchanted　me。　I　felt　fort　from
a　recollection　of　the　past，　of　those　bygone　days　when　that　air　was　familiar
to　me　；　and　then　I　recalled　all　the　sorrows　and　the　disappointments　which
I　had　since　endured。　I　paced　with　hasty　strides　through　the　room，　my
heart　became　convulsed　with　painful　emotions。　At　length　I　went　up　to　her，
and　exclaimed　With　eagerness，　〃For　Heaven's　sake　，　play　that　air　no
longer！〃　She　stopped　，　and　looked　steadfastly　at　me。　She　then　said，
with　a　smile　which　sunk　deep　into　my　heart，　〃Werther　，　you　are　ill：
your　dearest　food　is　distasteful　to　you。　But　go　，　I　entreat　you，　and
endeavour　to　pose　yourself。〃　I　tore　myself　away。　God　，　thou　seest
my　torments　，　and　wilt　end　them！

　　DECEMBER　6。　How　her　image　haunts　me　！　Waking　or　asleep　，　she　fills
my　entire　soul！　Soon　as　I　close　my　eyes，　here　，　in　my　brain，　where
all　the　nerves　of　vision　are　concentrated　，　her　dark　eyes　are　imprinted。
Here——　I　do　not　know　how　to　describe　it　；　but，　if　I　shut　my　eyes，
hers　are　immediately　before　me：　dark　as　an　abyss　they　open　upon　me　，
and　absorb　my　senses。

　　And　what　is　man　——　that　boasted　demigod　？　Do　not　his　powers　fail
when　he　most　requires　their　use　？　And　whether　he　soar　in　joy　，　or　sink
in　sorrow　，　is　not　his　career　in　both　inevitably　arrested？　And，　whilst
he　fondly　dreams　that　he　is　grasping　at　infinity，　does　he　not　feel　pelled
to　return　to　a　consciousness　of　his　cold，　monotonous　existence　？

　　THE　EDITOR　TO　THE　READER。

　　It　is　a　matter　of　extreme　regret　that　we　want　original　evidence　of
the　last　remarkable　days　of　our　friend；　and　we　are　，　therefore，　obliged
to　interrupt　the　progress　of　his　correspondence　，　and　to　supply　the　deficiency
by　a　connected　narration。

　　I　have　felt　it　my　duty　to　collect　accurate　information　from　the　mouths
of　persons　well　acquainted　with　his　history。　The　story　is　simple；　and
all　the　accounts　agree，　except　in　some　unimportant　particulars。　It　is
true，　that　，　with　respect　to　the　characters　of　the　persons　spoken　of，
opinions　and　judgments　vary。

　　We　have　only，　then　，　to　relate　conscientiously　the　facts　which　our
diligent　labour　has　enabled　us　to　collect　，　to　give　the　letters　of　the
deceased，　and　to　pay　particular　attention　to　the　slightest　fragment　from
his　pen　，　more　especially　as　it　is　so　difficult　to　discover　the　real
and　correct　motives　of　men　who　are　not　of　the　mon　order。

　　Sorrow　and　discontent　had　taken　deep　root　in　Werther's　s