the essays of montaigne, v10-第2章

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I　praise　God；　madam；　that　it　has　been　so　well　employed；　for　the　great
hopes　Monsieur　D'Estissac；　your　son；　gives　of　himself；　render　sufficient
assurance　that　when　he　comes　of　age　you　will　reap　from　him　all　the
obedience　and　gratitude　of　a　very　good　man。　　But；　forasmuch　as　by　reason
of　his　tender　years；　he　has　not　been　capable　of　taking　notice　of　those
offices　of　extremest　value　he　has　in　so　great　number　received　from　you；
I　will；　if　these　papers　shall　one　day　happen　to　fall　into　his　hands；　when
I　shall　neither　have　mouth　nor　speech　left　to　deliver　it　to　him；　that　he
shall　receive　from　me　a　true　account　of　those　things；　which　shall　be　more
effectually　manifested　to　him　by　their　own　effects；　by　which　he　will
understand　that　there　is　not　a　gentleman　in　France　who　stands　more
indebted　to　a　mother's　care；　and　that　he　cannot；　in　the　future；　give　a
better　nor　more　certain　testimony　of　his　own　worth　and　virtue　than　by
acknowledging　you　for　that　excellent　mother　you　are。

If　there　be　any　law　truly　natural；　that　is　to　say；　any　instinct　that　is
seen　universally　and　perpetually　imprinted　in　both　beasts　and　men　（which
is　not　without　controversy）；　I　can　say；　that　in　my　opinion；　next　to　the
care　every　animal　has　of　its　own　preservation；　and　to　avoid　that　which
may　hurt　him；　the　affection　that　the　begetter　bears　to　his　offspring
holds　the　second　place　in　this　rank。　　And　seeing　that　nature　appears　to
have　recommended　it　to　us；　having　regard　to　the　extension　and　progression
of　the　successive　pieces　of　this　machine　of　hers；　'tis　no　wonder　if；　on
the　contrary；　that　of　children　towards　their　parents　is　not　so　great。
To　which　we　may　add　this　other　Aristotelian　consideration；　that　he　who
confers　a　benefit　on　any　one；　loves　him　better　than　he　is　beloved　by　him
again：　that　he　to　whom　is　owing；　loves　better　than　he　who　owes；　and　that
every　artificer　is　fonder　of　his　work；　than；　if　that　work　had　sense；　it
would　be　of　him；　by　reason　that　it　is　dear　to　us　to　be；　and　to　be
consists　in　movement　and　action；　therefore　every　one　has　in　some　sort　a
being　in　his　work。　　He　who　confers　a　benefit　exercises　a　fine　and　honest
action；　he　who　receives　it　exercises　the　useful　only。　　Now　the　useful　is
much　less　lovable　than　the　honest；　the　honest　is　stable　and　permanent；
supplying　him　who　has　done　it　with　a　continual　gratification。　　The　useful
loses　itself；　easily　slides　away；　and　the　memory　of　it　is　neither　so
fresh　nor　so　pleasing。　　Those　things　are　dearest　to　us　that　have　cost　us
most；　and　giving　is　more　chargeable　than　receiving。

Since　it　has　pleased　God　to　endue　us　with　some　capacity　of　reason；　to　the
end　we　may　not；　like　brutes；　be　servilely　subject　and　enslaved　to　the
laws　common　to　both；　but　that　we　should　by　judgment　and　a　voluntary
liberty　apply　ourselves　to　them；　we　ought；　indeed；　something　to　yield　to
the　simple　authority　of　nature；　but　not　suffer　ourselves　to　be
tyrannically　hurried　away　and　transported　by　her；　reason　alone　should
have　the　conduct　of　our　inclinations。　　I；　for　my　part；　have　a　strange
disgust　for　those　propensions　that　are　started　in　us　without　the
mediation　and　direction　of　the　judgment；　as；　upon　the　subject　I　am
speaking　of；　I　cannot　entertain　that　passion　of　dandling　and　caressing
infants　scarcely　born；　having　as　yet　neither　motion　of　soul　nor　shape　of
body　distinguishable；　by　which　they　can　render　themselves　amiable；　and
have　not　willingly　suffered　them　to　be　nursed　near　me。　　A　true　and
regular　affection　ought　to　spring　and　increase　with　the　knowledge　they
give　us　of　themselves；　and　then；　if　they　are　worthy　of　it；　the　natural
propension　walking　hand　in　hand　with　reason；　to　cherish　them　with　a　truly
paternal　love；　and　so　to　judge；　also；　if　they　be　otherwise；　still
rendering　ourselves　to　reason；　notwithstanding　the　inclination　of　nature。
'Tis　oft…times　quite　otherwise；　and；　most　commonly；　we　find　ourselves
more　taken　with　the　running　up　and　down；　the　games；　and　puerile
simplicities　of　our　children；　than　we　do；　afterwards；　with　their　most
complete　actions；　as　if　we　had　loved　them　for　our　sport；　like　monkeys；
and　not　as　men；　and　some　there　are；　who　are　very　liberal　in　buying　them
balls　to　play　withal；　who　are　very　close…handed　for　the　least　necessary
expense　when　they　come　to　age。　　Nay；　it　looks　as　if　the　jealousy　of
seeing　them　appear　in　and　enjoy　the　world　when　we　are　about　to　leave　it；
rendered　us　more　niggardly　and　stingy　towards　them；　it　vexes　us　that　they
tread　upon　our　heels；　as　if　to　solicit　us　to　go　out；　if　this　were　to　be
feared；　since　the　order　of　things　will　have　it　so　that　they　cannot；　to
speak　the　truth；　be　nor　live；　but　at　the　expense　of　our　being　and　life；
we　should　never　meddle　with　being　fathers　at　all。

For　my　part；　I　think　it　cruelty　and　injustice　not　to　receive　them　into
the　share　and　society　of　our　goods；　and　not　to　make　them　partakers　in　the
intelligence　of　our　domestic　affairs　when　they　are　capable；　and　not　to
lessen　and　contract　our　own　expenses　to　make　the　more　room　for　theirs；
seeing　we　beget　them　to　that　effect。　　'Tis　unjust　that　an　old　fellow；
broken　and　half　dead；　should　alone；　in　a　corner　of　the　chimney；　enjoy　the
money　that　would　suffice　for　the　maintenance　and　advancement　of　many
children；　and　suffer　them；　in　the　meantime；　to　lose　their'　best　years　for
want　of　means　to　advance　themselves　in　the　public　service　and　the
knowledge　of　men。　　A　man　by　this　course　drives　them　to　despair；　and　to
seek　out　by　any　means；　how　unjust　or　dishonourable　soever；　to　provide　for
their　own　support：　as　I　have；　in　my　time；　seen　several　young　men　of　good
extraction　so　addicted　to　stealing；　that　no　correction　could　cure　them　of
it。　　I　know　one　of　a　very　good　family；　to　whom；　at　the　request　of　a
brother　of　his；　a　very　honest　and　brave　gentleman；　I　once　spoke　on　this
account；　who　made　answer；　and　confessed　to　me　roundly；　that　he　had　been
put　upon　this　paltry　practice　by　the　severity　and　avarice　of　his　father；
but　that　he　was　now　so　accustomed　to　it　he　could　not　leave　it　off。　　And；
at　that　very　time；　he　was　trapped　stealing　a　lady's　rings；　having　come
into　her　chamber；　as　she　was　dressing　with　several　others。　　He　put　me　in
mind　of　a　story　I　had　heard　of　another　gentleman；　so　perfect　and
accomplished　in　this　fine　trade　in　his　youth；　that；　after　he　came　to　his
estate　and　resolved　to　give　it　over；　he　could　not　hold　his　hands；
nevertheless；　if　he　passed　by　a　shop　where　he　saw　anything　he　liked；　from
catching　it　up；　though　it　put　him　to　the　shame　of　sending　afterwards　to
pay　for　it。　　And　I　have　myself　seen　several　so　habituated　to　this　quality
that　even　amongst　their　comrades　they　could　not　forbear　filching；　though
with　intent　to　restore　what　they　had　taken。　　I　am　a　Gascon；　and　yet　there
is　no　vice　I　so　little　understand　as　that；　I　hate　it　something　more　by
disposition　than　I　condemn　it　by　reason；　I　do　not　so　much　as　desire
anything　of　another　man's。　　This　province　of　ours　is；　in　plain　truth；　a
little　more　decried　than　the　other　parts　of　the　kingdom；　and　yet　we　have
several　times　seen；　in　our　times；　men　of　good　families　of　other
provinces；　in　the　hands　of　justice；　convicted　of　abominable　thefts。　　I
fear　this　vice　is；　in　some　sort；　to　be　attributed　to　the　fore…mentioned
vice　of　the　fathers。

And　if　a　man　should　tell　me；　as　a　lord　of　very　good　understanding　once
did；　that　〃he　hoarded　up　wealth；　not　to　extract　any　other　fruit　and　use
from　his　parsimony；　but　to　make　himself　honoured　and　sought　after　by　his
relations；　and　that　age　having　deprived　him　of　all　other　power；　it　was
the　only　remaining　remedy　to　maintain　his　authority　in　his　family；　and　to
keep　him　from　being　neglected　and　despised　by　all　around；〃　in　truth；　not
only　old　age；　but　all　other　imbecility；　according　to　Aristotle；　is　the
promoter　of　avarice；　that　is　something；　but　it　is　physic　for　a　disease
that　a　man　should　prevent　the　birth　of。　　A　father　is　very　miserable　who
has　no　other　hold　on　his　children's　affection　than　the　need　they　have　of
his　assistance；　if　that　can　be　called　affection；　he　must　render　himself
worthy　to　be　respected　by　his　virtue　and　wisdom；　and　beloved　by　his
kindness　and　the　sweetness　of　his　manners；　even　the　very　ashes　of　a　rich
matter　have　their　value；　and　we　are　wont　to　have　the　bones　and　relics　of
worthy　men　in　regard　and　reverence。　　No　old　age　can　be　so　decrepid　in　a
man　who　has　passed　his　life　in　honour；　but　it　must　be　venerable；
especially　to　his　children；　whose　soul　he　must　have　trained　up　to　their
duty　by　reason；　not　by　necessity　and　the　need　they　have　of　him；　nor　by
harshness　and　compulsion：

　　　　　　　　　〃Et　errat　longe　mea　quidem　sententia
　　　　　　　　　　Qui　imperium　credat　esse　gravius；　aut　stabilius；
　　　　　　　　　　Vi　quod　fit；　quam　illud；　quod　amicitia　adjungitur。〃

　　　　　＇〃He　wanders　far　from　the　truth；　in　my　opinion；　who　thinks　that
　　　　　government　more　absolute　and　durable　which　is　acquired　by　force　than
　　　　　that　which　is　attached　to　friendship。Terence；　Adelph。；　i。　I；　40。＇

I　condemn　all　violence　in　the　education　of　a　tender　soul　that　is　designed
for　honour　and　liberty。　　There　is　I　know　not　what　of　servile　in　rigour
and　constraint；　and　I　am　of　opinion　that　what　is　not　to　be　done　by
reason；　prudence；　and　address；　is　never　to　be　affected　by　force。　　I
myself　was　brought　up　after　that　manner；　and　they　tell　me　that　in　all　my
first　age　I　never　felt　the　rod　but　twice；　and　then　very　slightly。　　I
practised　the　same　method　with　my　children；　who　all　of　them　died　at
nurse；　except　Leonora；　my　only　daughter；　and　who　arrived　to　the　age　of
five　years　and　upward　without　other　correction　for　her　childish　faults
（her　mother's　indulgence　easily　concurring）　than　words　only；　and　those
very　gentle；　in　which　kind　of　proceeding；　though　my　end　and　expectation
should　be　both　frustrated；　there　are　other　causes　enough　to　lay　the　fault
on　without　blaming　my　discipline；　which　I　know　to　be　natural　and　just；
and　I　should；　in　this；　have　yet　been　more　religious　towards　the　males；　as
less　born　to　subjection　and　more　free；　and　I　should　have　made　it　my
business　to　fill　their　hearts　with　ingenuousness　and　freedom。　　I　have
never　observed　other　effects　of　whipping　than　to　render　boys　more
cowardly；　or　more　wilfully　obstinate。

Do　we　desire　to　be　beloved　of　our　children？　　Will　we　remove　from　them　all
occasion　of　wishing　our　death　though　no　occasion　of　so　horrid　a　wish　can
either　be　just　or　excusable？

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Nullum　scelus　rationem　habet。〃

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　＇〃No　wickedness　has　reason。〃Livy；　xxviii。　28＇

Let　us　reasonably　accommodate　their　lives　with　what　is　in　our　power。　　In
order　to　this；　we　should　not　marry　so　young　that　our　age　shall　in　a
manner　be　confounded　with　theirs；　for　this　inconvenience　plunges　us　into
many　very　great　difficulties；　and　especially　the　gentry　of　the　nation；
who　are　of　a　condition　wherein　they　have　little　to　do；　and　who　live　upon
their　rents　only：　for　elsewhere；　with　people　who　live　by　their　labour；
the　plurality　and　company　of　children　is　an　increase　to　the　common　stock；
they　are　so　many　new　tools　and　instruments　wherewith　to　grow　rich。

I　married　at　three…and…thirty　years　of　age；　and　concur　in　the　opinion　of
thirty…five；　which　is　said　to　be　that　of　Aristotle。　　　Plato　will　have
nobody　marry　before　thirty；　but　he　has