north america-2-第60章

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　but　I　doubt　whether　the　present　moment；　looking　at　the　fiscal　state　of　the　country；　is　well　adapted　for　establishing　it。　I　was　much　struck　by　the　great　extravagance　in　small　things　manifested　by　the　post…office　through　the　States；　and　have　reason　to　believe　that　the　same　remark　would　be　equally　true　with　regard　to　other　public　establishments。　　They　use　needless　forms　without　end　making　millions　of　entries　which　no　one　is　ever　expected　to　regard。　Their　expenditure　in　stationery　might　I　think　be　reduced　by　one…　half；　and　the　labor　might　be　saved　which　is　now　wasted　in　the　abuse　of　that　useless　stationery。　　Their　mail　bags　are　made　in　a　costly　manner；　and　are　often　large　beyond　all　proportion　or　necessity。　　I　could　greatly　lengthen　this　list　if　I　were　addressing　myself　solely　to　post…office　people；　but　as　I　am　not　doing　so；　I　will　close　these　semi…official　remarks　with　an　assurance　to　my　colleagues　in　post…　office　work　on　the　other　side　of　the　water　that　I　greatly　respect　what　they　have　done；　and　trust　that　before　long　they　may　have　renewed　opportunities　for　the　prosecution　of　their　good　work。

CHAPTER　XIV。　AMERICAN　HOTELS。

I　find　it　impossible　to　resist　the　subject　of　inns。　　As　I　have　gone　on　with　my　journey；　I　have　gone　on　with　my　book；　and　have　spoken　here　and　there　of　American　hotels　as　I　have　encountered　them。　　But　in　the　States　the　hotels　are　so　large　an　institution；　having　so　much　closer　and　wider　a　bearing　on　social　life　than　they　do　in　any　other　country；　that　I　feel　myself　bound　to　treat　them　in　a　separate　chapter　as　a　great　national　arrangement　in　themselves。　　They　are　quite　as　much　thought　of　in　the　nation　as　the　legislature；　or　judicature；　or　literature　of　the　country；　and　any　falling　off　in　them；　or　any　improvement　in　the　accommodation　given；　would　strike　the　community　as　forcibly　as　any　change　in　the　Constitution　or　alteration　in　the　franchise。　Moreover；　I　consider　myself　as　qualified　to　write　a　chapter　on　hotelsnot　only　on　the　hotels　of　America；　but　on　hotels　generally。　I　have　myself　been　much　too　frequently　a　sojourner　at　hotels。　　I　think　I　know　what　a　hotel　should　be；　and　what　it　should　not　be；　and　am　almost　inclined　to　believe；　in　my　pride；　that　I　could　myself　fill　the　position　of　a　landlord　with　some　chance　of　social　success；　though　probably　with　none　of　satisfactory　pecuniary　results。　Of　all　hotels　known　to　me；　I　am　inclined　to　think　that　the　Swiss　are　the　best。　　The　things　wanted　at　a　hotel　are；　I　fancy；　mainly　as　follows：　a　clean　bed…room；　with　a　good　and　clean　bed；　and　with　it　also　plenty　of　water。　　Good　food；　well　dressed　and　served　at　convenient　hours；　which　hours　should　on　occasions　be　allowed　to　stretch　themselves。　　Wines　that　shall　be　drinkable。　　Quick　attendance。　　Bills　that　shall　not　be　absolutely　extortionate；　smiling　faces；　and　an　absence　of　foul　smells。　　There　are　many　who　desire　more　than　thiswho　expect　exquisite　cookery；　choice　wines；　subservient　domestics；　distinguished　consideration；　and　the　strictest　economy；　but　they　are　uneducated　travelers；　who　are　going　through　the　apprenticeship　of　their　hotel　lives；　who　may　probably　never　become　free　of　the　travelers'　guild；　or　learn　to　distinguish　that　which　they　may　fairly　hope　to　attain　from　that　which　they　can　never　accomplish。　Taking　them　as　a　whole；　I　think　that　the　Swiss　hotels　are　the　best。　They　are　perhaps　a　little　close　in　the　matter　of　cold　water；　but　even　as　to　this　they　generally　give　way　to　pressure。　　The　pressure；　however；　must　not　be　violent；　but　gentle　rather；　and　well　continued。　Their　bed…rooms　are　excellent。　　Their　cookery　is　good；　and　to　the　outward　senses　is　cleanly。　　The　people　are　civil。　　The　whole　work　of　the　house　is　carried　on　upon　fixed　rules　which　tend　to　the　comfort　of　the　establishment。　　They　are　not　cheap；　and　not　always　quite　honest。　　But　the　exorbitance　or　dishonesty　of　their　charges　rarely　exceeds　a　certain　reasonable　scale；　and　hardly　ever　demands　the　bitter　misery　of　a　remonstrance。　The　inns　of　the　Tyrol　are；　I　think；　the　cheapest　I　have　known　affording　the　traveler　what　he　requires　for　half　the　price；　or　less　than　half　demanded　in　Switzerland。　　But　the　other　half　is　taken　out　in　stench　and　nastiness。　　As　tourists　scatter　themselves　more　profusely；　the　prices　of　the　Tyrol　will　no　doubt　rise。　　Let　us　hope　that　increased　prices　will　bring　with　them　besoms；　scrubbing…　brushes；　and　other　much…needed　articles　of　cleanliness。　The　inns　of　the　north　of　Italy　are　very　good；　and；　indeed；　the　Italian　inns　throughout；　as　far　as　I　know　them；　are　much　better　than　the　name　they　bear。　　The　Italians　are　a　civil；　kindly　people；　and　do　for　you；　at　any　rate；　the　best　they　can。　　Perhaps　the　unwary　traveler　may　be　cheated。　　Ignorant　of　the　language；　he　may　be　called　on　to　pay　more　than　the　man　who　speaks　it　and　who　can　bargain　in　the　Italian　fashion　as　to　price。　　It　has　often　been　my　lot；　I　doubt　not；　to　be　so　cheated；　but　then　I　have　been　cheated　with　a　grace　that　has　been　worth　all　the　money。　　The　ordinary　prices　of　Italian　inns　are　by　no　means　high。　I　have　seldom　thoroughly　liked　the　inns　of　Germany　which　I　have　known。　　They　are　not　clean；　and　water　is　very　scarce。　　Smiles；　too；　are　generally　wanting；　and　I　have　usually　fancied　myself　to　be　regarded　as　a　piece　of　goods　out　of　which　so　much　profit　was　to　be　made。　The　dearest　hotels　I　know　are　the　Frenchand　certainly　not　the　best。　　In　the　provinces　they　are　by　no　means　so　cleanly　as　those　of　Italy。　　Their　wines　are　generally　abominable；　and　their　cookery　often　disgusting。　　In　Paris　grand　dinners　may　no　doubt　be　had；　and　luxuries　of　every　descriptionexcept　the　luxury　of　comfort。　Cotton…velvet　sofas　and　ormolu　clocks　stand　in　the　place　of　convenient　furniture；　and　logs　of　wood；　at　a　franc　a　log；　fail　to　impart　to　you　the　heat　which　the　freezing　cold　of　a　Paris　winter　demands。　　They　used　to　make　good　coffee　in　Paris；　but　even　that　is　a　thing　of　the　past。　　I　fancy　that　they　import　their　brandy　from　England　and　manufacture　their　own　cigars。　　French　wines　you　may　get　good　at　a　Paris　hotel；　but　you　would　drink　them　as　good　and　much　cheaper　if　you　bought　them　in　London　and　took　them　with　you。　The　worst　hotels　I　know　are　in　the　Havana。　　Of　course　I　do　not　speak　here　of　chance　mountain　huts；　or　small；　far…off　roadside　hostels；　in　which　the　traveler　may　find　himself　from　time　to　time。　　All　such　are　to　be　counted　apart；　and　must　be　judged　on　their　merits　by　the　circumstances　which　surround　them。　　But　with　reference　to　places　of　wide　resort；　nothing　can　beat　the　hotels　of　the　Havana　in　filth；　discomfort；　habits　of　abomination；　and　absence　of　everything　which　the　traveler　desires。　　All　the　world　does　not　go　to　the　Havana；　and　the　subject　is　not　therefore　one　of　general　interest。　　But　in　speaking　of　hotels　at　large；　so　much　I　find　myself　bound　to　say。　In　all　the　countries　to　which　I　have　alluded　the　guests　of　the　house　are　expected　to　sit　down　together　at　one　table。　　Conversation　is　at　any　rate　possible；　and　there　is　the　show；　if　not　the　reality；　of　society。　And　now　one　word　as　to　English　inns。　　I　do　not　think　that　we　Englishmen　have　any　great　right　to　be　proud　of　them。　　The　worst　about　them　is　that　they　deteriorate　from　year　to　year；　instead　of　becoming　better。　　We　used　to　hear　much　of　the　comfort　of　the　old　English　wayside　inn；　but　the　old　English　wayside　inn　has　gone。　　The　railway　hotel　has　taken　its　place；　and　the　railway　hotel　is　too　frequently　gloomy；　desolate；　comfortless；　and　almost　suicidal。　　In　England；　too；　since　the　old　days　are　gone；　there　are　wanting　the　landlord's　bow　and　the　kindly　smile　of　his　stout　wife。　　Who　now　knows　the　landlord　of　an　inn；　or　cares　to　inquire　whether　or　no　there　be　a　landlady？　　The　old　welcome　is　wanting；　and　the　cheery；　warm　air；　which　used　to　atone　for　the　bad　port　and　tough　beef；　has　passed　awaywhile　the　port　is　still　bad　and　the　beef　too　often　tough。　In　England；　and　only　in　England　as　I　believe；　is　maintained　in　hotel　life　the　theory　of　solitary　existence。　　The　sojourner　at　an　English　innunless　he　be　a　commercial　traveler；　and　as　such　a　member　of　a　universal；　peripatetic　tradesman's　clublives　alone。　　He　has　his　breakfast　alone；　his　dinner　alone；　his　pint　of　wine　alone；　and　his　cup　of　tea　alone。　　It　is　not　considered　practicable　that　two　strangers　should　sit　at　the　same　table　or　cut　from　the　same　dish。　Consequently　his　dinner　is　cooked　for　him　separately；　and　the　hotel　keeper　can　hardly　afford　to　give　him　a　good　dinner。　　He　has　two　modes　of　life　from　which　to　choose。　　He　either　lives　in　a　public　roomcalled　a　coffee…roomand　there　occupies；　during　his　comfortless　meal；　a　separate　small　table；　too　frequently　removed　from　fire　and　light；　though　generally　exposed　to　draughts；　or　else　he　indulges　in　the　luxury　of　a　private　sitting…room；　and　endeavors　to　find　solace　on　an　old　horse…hair　sofa；　at　the　cost　of　seven　shillings　a　day。　　His　bed…room　is　not　so　arranged　that　he　can　use　it　as　a　sitting…room。　　Under　either　phase　of　life　he　can　rarely　find　himself　comfortable；　and　therefore　he　lives　as　little　at　a　hotel　as　the　circumstances　of　his　business　or　of　his　pleasure　will　allow。　　I　do　not　think　that　any　of　the　requisites　of　a　good　inn　are　habitually　to　be　found　in　perfection　at　our　Kings'　Heads　and　White　Horses；　though　the　falling　off　is　not　so　lamentably　distressing　as　it　sometimes　is　in　other　countries。　　The　bed…rooms　are　dingy　rather　than　dirty。　　Extra　payment　to　servants　will　generally　produce　a　tub　of　cold　water。　　The　food　is　never　good；　but　it　is　usually　eatable；　and　you　may　have　it　when　you　please。　　The　wines　are　almost　always　bad；　but　the　traveler　can　fall　back　upon　beer。　　The　attendance　is　good；　provided　always　that　the　payment　for　it　is　liberal。　　The　cost　is　generally　too　high；　and　unfortunately　grows　larger　and　larger　from　year　to　year。　　Smiling　faces　are　out　of　the　question　unless　specially　paid　for；　and　as　to　that　matter　of　foul　smells；　there　is　often　room　for　improvement。　　An　English　inn　to　a　solitary　traveler　without　employment　is　an　embodiment　of　dreary　desolation。　　The　excuse　to　be　made　for　this　is　that　English　men　and　women　do　not　live　much　at　inns　in　their　own　country。　The　American　inn　differs　from　all　those　of　which　I　have　made　mention；　and　is　altogether　an　institution　apart；　and　a　thing　of　itself。　　Hotels　in　America　are　very　much　larger　and　more　numerous　than　in　other　countries。　　They　are　to　be　found　in　all　towns；　and　I　may　almost　say　in　all　villages。　　In　England　and　on　the　Continent　we　find　them　on　the　recognized　routes　of　travel　and　in　towns　of　commercial　or　social　importance。　　On　unfrequented　roads　and　in　villages　there　is　usually　some　small　house　of　public　entertainment　in　which　the　unexpected　traveler　may　obtain　food　and　shelter；　and　in　which　the　expected　boon　companions　of　the　neighborhood　smoke　their　nightly　pipes　and　drink　their　nightly　tipple。　　But　in　the　States　of　America　the　first　sign　of　an　incipient　settlement　is　a　hotel　five　stories　high；　with　an　office；　a　bar；　a　cloak　room；　three　gentlemen's　parlors；　two　ladies'　parlors；　and　a　ladies'　entrance；　and　two　hundred　bedrooms。　These　of　course　are　all　built　with　a　view　to　profit；　and　it　may　be　presumed　that　in　each　case　the　originators　of　the　speculation　enter　into　some　calculation　as　to　their　expected　guests。　　Whence　are　to　come　the　sleepers　in　those　two　hundred　bed…rooms；　and　who　is　to　pay　for　the　gaudy　sof