a ward of the golden gate(金门一区)-第12章
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invite Yerba here if Colonel Pendleton was to have been her escort。 Of
course； the poor girl could not choose her own guardian； but Mr。 Woods
said HE had a right to choose who should be his niece's company。 Perhaps
Mr。 Woods was prejudiced；most men were；yet surely Mr。 Hathaway；
although a loyal friend of Colonel Pendleton's； must admit that when it
was an open scandal that the colonel had fought a duel about a notoriously
common woman； and even blasphemously defended her before a party of
gentlemen； it was high time； as Mr。 Woods said； that he should be
remanded to their company exclusively。 No； Mrs。 Woods could not admit
that this was owing to the injustice of her own sex！ Men are really the
ones who make the fuss over those things； just as they； as Mr。 Hathaway
well knew； made the laws！ No； it was a great pity； as she and her husband
had just agreed； that Mr。 Hathaway； of all the guardians； could not have
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been always the help and counselorin fact； the elder brotherof poor
Yerba！ Paul was conscious that he winced slightly； consistently and
conscientiously； at the recollection of certain passages of his youth；
inconsistently and meanly； at this suggestion of a joint relationship with
Yerba's mother。
〃I think； too；〃 continued Mrs。 Woods； 〃she has worried foolishly about
this ridiculous mystery of her parentageas if it could make the slightest
difference to a girl with a quarter of a million； or as if that didn't show
quite conclusively that she WAS somebody！〃
〃Certainly；〃 said Paul； quickly； with a relief that he nevertheless felt
was ridiculous。
〃And； of course； I dare say it will all come out when she is of age。 I
suppose you know if any of the family are still living？〃
〃I really do not。〃
〃I beg your pardon；〃 said Mrs。 Woods； with a smile。 〃I forgot it's a
profound secret until then。 But here we are at the house； I see the girls
have walked over to our neighbors'。 Perhaps you would like to have a few
moments to yourself before you dress for dinner； and your portmanteau；
which has been sent for； comes from your hotel。 You must be tired of
seeing so many people。〃
Paul was glad to accept any excuse for being alone； and； thanking his
hostess； followed a servant to his rooma low…ceilinged but luxuriously
furnished apartment on the first floor。 Here he threw himself on a
cushioned lounge that filled the angle of the deep embrasurethe thickness
of the old adobe wallsthat formed a part of the wooden…latticed window。
A Cape jessamine climbing beside it filled the room with its subtle；
intoxicating perfume。 It was so strong； and he felt himself so irresistibly
overpowered and impelled towards a merely idle reverie； that； in order to
think more clearly and shut out some strange and unreasoning
enthrallment of his senses； he rose and sharply closed the window。 Then
he sat down and reflected。
What was he doing here？ and what was the meaning of all this？ He
had come simply to fulfill a duty to his past； and please a helpless and
misunderstood old acquaintance。 He had performed that duty。 But he had
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incidentally learned a certain fact that might be important to this friend；
and clearly his duty was simply to go back and report it。 He would gain
nothing more in the way of corroboration of it by staying now； if further
corroboration were required。 Colonel Pendleton had already been
uselessly and absurdly perplexed about the possible discovery of the girl's
parentage； and its effect upon her fortunes and herself。 She had just settled
that of her own accord； and； without committing herself or others； had
suggested a really sensible plan by which all trouble would be avoided in
future。 That was the common…sense way of looking at it。 He would lay the
plan before the colonel； have him judge of its expediency and its ethics
and even the question whether she already knew the real truth； or was self…
deceived。 That done； he would return to his own affairs in Sacramento。
There was nothing difficult in this； or that need worry him； only he could
have done it just as well an hour ago。
He opened the window again。 The scent of the jessamine came in as
before； but mingled with the cooler breath of the roses。 There was nothing
intoxicating or unreal in it now； rather it seemed a gentle aromatic
stimulantof thought。 Long shadows of unseen poplars beyond barred the
garden lanes and alleys with bands of black and yellow。 A slanting pencil
of sunshine through the trees was for a moment focussed on a bed of
waxen callas before a hedge of ceanothus； and struck into dazzling relief
the cold white chalices of the flowers and the vivid shining green of their
background。 Presently it slid beyond to a tiny fountain； before invisible；
and wrought a blinding miracle out of its flashing and leaping spray。 Yet
even as he gazed the fountain seemed to vanish slowly； the sunbeam
slipped on； and beyond it moved the shimmer of white and yellow dresses。
It was Yerba and Milly returning to the house。 Well； he would not interrupt
his reflections by idly watching them； he would； probably； see a great deal
of Yerba that evening； and by that time he would have come to some
conclusion in regard to her。
But he had not taken into consideration her voice； which； always
musical in its Southern intonation and quite audible in the quiet garden；
struck him now as being full of joyous sweetness。 Well； she was certainly
very happyor very thoughtless。 She was actually romping with Milly；
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and was now evidently being chased down the rose…alley by that volatile
young woman。 Then these swift Camillas apparently neared the house；
there was the rapid rustle of skirts； the skurrying of little feet on the
veranda； a stumble； a mouse…like shriek from Milly； and HER voice；
exhausted； dying； happy； broken with half…hushed laughter； rose to him on
the breath of the jessamine and rose。
Surely she WAS a child； and； if a child； how he had misjudged her！
What if all that he had believed was mature deliberation was only the
innocent imaginings of a romantic girl； all that he had taken seriously only
a school…girl's foolish dream！ Instead of combating it； instead of reasoning
with her； instead of trying to interest her in other things； he had even
helped on her illusions。 He had treated her as if the taint of her mother's
worldliness and knowledge of evil was in her pure young flesh。 He had
recognized her as the daughter of an adventuress； and not as his ward；
appealing to his chivalry through her very ignoranceit might be her very
childish vanity。 He had brought to a question of tender and pathetic
interest only his selfish opinion of the world and the weaknesses of
mankind。 The blood came to his cheekswith all his experienced self…
control； he had not lost the youthful trick of blushingand he turned away
from the window as if it had breathed a reproach。
But ought he have even contented himself with destroying her
illusionsought he not have gone farther and told her the whole truth？
Ought he not first have won her confidencehe remembered bitterly； now；
how she had intimated that she had no one to confide inand； after
revealing her mother's history； have still pledged himself to keep the secret
from all others； and assisted her in her plan？ It would not have altered the
state of affairs； except so far as she was concerned； they could have
combined together； his ready wit would have helped him； and his
sympathy would have sustained her； but
How and in what way could he have told her？ Leaving out the delicate
and difficult periphrase by which her mother's shame would have to be
explained to an innocent school…girlwhat right could he have assumed to
tell it？ As the guardian who had never counseled or protected her？ As an
acquaintance of hardly an hour ago？ Who would have such a right？ A
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loveron whose lips it would only seem a tacit appeal to her gratitude or
her fears； and whom no sensitive girl could accept thereafter？ No。 A
husband？ Yes！ He remembered； with a sudden start； what Pendleton had
said to him。 Good Heavens！ Had Pendleton that idea in his mind？ And yet…
…it seemed the only solution。
A knock at his door was followed by the appearance of Mr。 Woods。 Mr。
Hathaway's portmanteau had come； and Mrs。 Woods had sent a message；
saying that in view of the limited time that Mr。 Hathaway would have with
his ward； Mrs。 Woods would forego her right to keep him at her side at
dinner； and yield her place to Yerba。 Paul thanked him with a grave inward
smile。 What if he made his dramatic disclosure to her confidentially over
the soup and fish？ Yet； in his constantly recurring conviction of the girl's
independence； he made no doubt she would have met his brutality with
unflinching pride and self…possession。 He began to dress slowly； at times
almost forgetting himself in a new kind of pleasant apathy； which he
attributed to the odor of the flowers； and the softer hush of twilight that
had come on with the dying away of the trade winds； and the restful spice
of the bay…trees near his window。 He presently found himself not so much
