lavengro-第37章

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recovery。　　His　sufferings　were　great；　yet　he　invariably　bore　them　

with　unshaken　fortitude。　　There　was　one　thing　remarkable　connected　

with　his　illness；　notwithstanding　its　severity；　it　never　confined　

him　to　his　bed。　　He　was　wont　to　sit　in　his　little　parlour；　in　his　

easy…chair；　dressed　in　a　faded　regimental　coat；　his　dog　at　his　

feet；　who　would　occasionally　lift　his　head　from　the　hearth…rug　on　

which　he　lay；　and　look　his　master　wistfully　in　the　face。　　And　thus　

my　father　spent　the　greater　part　of　his　time；　sometimes　in　prayer；　

sometimes　in　meditation；　and　sometimes　in　reading　the　Scriptures。　　

I　frequently　sat　with　him；　though；　as　I　entertained　a　great　awe　for　

my　father；　I　used　to　feel　rather　ill　at　ease；　when；　as　sometimes　

happened；　I　found　myself　alone　with　him。



'I　wish　to　ask　you　a　few　questions；'　said　he　to　me　one　day；　after　

my　mother　had　left　the　room。



'I　will　answer　anything　you　may　please　to　ask　me；　my　dear　father。'



'What　have　you　been　about　lately？'



'I　have　been　occupied　as　usual；　attending　at　the　office　at　the　

appointed　hours。'



'And　what　do　you　there？'



'Whatever　I　am　ordered。'



'And　nothing　else？'



'Oh　yes！　sometimes　I　read　a　book。'



'Connected　with　your　profession？'



'Not　always；　I　have　been　lately　reading　Armenian　…　'



'What's　that？'



'The　language　of　a　people　whose　country　is　a　region　on　the　other　

side　of　Asia　Minor。'



'Well！'



'A　region　abounding　with　mountains。'



'Well！'



'Amongst　which　is　Mount　Ararat。'



'Well！'



'Upon　which；　as　the　Bible　informs　us；　the　ark　rested。'



'Well！'



'It　is　the　language　of　the　people　of　those　regions　…　'



'So　you　told　me。'



'And　I　have　been　reading　the　Bible　in　their　language。'



'Well！'



'Or　rather；　I　should　say；　in　the　ancient　language　of　these　people；　

from　which　I　am　told　the　modem　Armenian　differs　considerably。'



'Well！'



'As　much　as　the　Italian　from　the　Latin。'



'Well！'



'So　I　have　been　reading　the　Bible　in　ancient　Armenian。'



'You　told　me　so　before。'



'I　found　it　a　highly　difficult　language。'



'Yes。'



'Differing　widely　from　the　languages　in　general　with　which　I　am　

acquainted。'



'Yes。'



'Exhibiting；　however；　some　features　in　common　with　them。'



'Yes。'



'And　sometimes　agreeing　remarkably　in　words　with　a　certain　strange　

wild　speech　with　which　I　became　acquainted　…　'



'Irish？'



'No；　father；　not　Irish　…　with　which　I　became　acquainted　by　the　

greatest　chance　in　the　world。'



'Yes。'



'But　of　which　I　need　say　nothing　farther　at　present；　and　which　I　

should　not　have　mentioned　but　for　that　fact。'



'Well！'



'Which　I　consider　remarkable。'



'Yes。'



'The　Armenian　is　copious。'



'Is　it？'



'With　an　alphabet　of　thirty…nine　letters；　but　it　is　harsh　and　

guttural。'



'Yes。'



'Like　the　language　of　most　mountainous　people　…　the　Armenians　call　

it　Haik。'



'Do　they？'



'And　themselves；　Haik；　also；　they　are　a　remarkable　people；　and；　

though　their　original　habitation　is　the　Mountain　of　Ararat；　they　

are　to　be　found；　like　the　Jews；　all　over　the　world。'



'Well！'



'Well；　father；　that's　all　I　can　tell　you　about　the　Haiks；　or　

Armenians。'



'And　what　does　it　all　amount　to？'



'Very　little；　father；　indeed；　there　is　very　little　known　about　the　

Armenians；　their　early　history；　in　particular；　is　involved　in　

considerable　mystery。'



'And；　if　you　knew　all　that　it　was　possible　to　know　about　them；　to　

what　would　it　amount？　to　what　earthly　purpose　could　you　turn　it？　

have　you　acquired　any　knowledge　of　your　profession？'



'Very　little；　father。'



'Very　little！　　Have　you　acquired　all　in　your　power？'



'I　can't　say　that　I　have；　father。'



'And　yet　it　was　your　duty　to　have　done　so。　　But　I　see　how　it　is；　

you　have　shamefully　misused　your　opportunities；　you　are　like　one　

who；　sent　into　the　field　to　labour；　passes　his　time　in　flinging　

stones　at　the　birds　of　heaven。'



'I　would　scorn　to　fling　a　stone　at　a　bird；　father。'



'You　know　what　I　mean；　and　all　too　well；　and　this　attempt　to　evade　

deserved　reproof　by　feigned　simplicity　is　quite　in　character　with　

your　general　behaviour。　　I　have　ever　observed　about　you　a　want　of　

frankness；　which　has　distressed　me；　you　never　speak　of　what　you　are　

about；　your　hopes；　or　your　projects；　but　cover　yourself　with　

mystery。　　I　never　knew　till　the　present　moment　that　you　were　

acquainted　with　Armenian。'



'Because　you　never　asked　me；　father；　there's　nothing　to　conceal　in　

the　matter　…　I　will　tell　you　in　a　moment　how　I　came　to　learn　

Armenian。　　A　lady　whom　I　met　at　one　of　Mrs。　…'s　parties　took　a　

fancy　to　me；　and　has　done　me　the　honour　to　allow　me　to　go　and　see　

her　sometimes。　　She　is　the　widow　of　a　rich　clergyman；　and　on　her　

husband's　death　came　to　this　place　to　live；　bringing　her　husband's　

library　with　her：　　I　soon　found　my　way　to　it；　and　examined　every　

book。　　Her　husband　must　have　been　a　learned　man；　for　amongst　much　

Greek　and　Hebrew　I　found　several　volumes　in　Armenian；　or　relating　

to　the　language。'



'And　why　did　you　not　tell　me　of　this　before？'



'Because　you　never　questioned　me；　but；　I　repeat；　there　is　nothing　

to　conceal　in　the　matter。　　The　lady　took　a　fancy　to　me；　and；　being　

fond　of　the　arts；　drew　my　portrait；　she　said　the　expression　of　my　

countenance　put　her　in　mind　of　Alfieri's　Saul。'



'And　do　you　still　visit　her？'



'No；　she　soon　grew　tired　of　me；　and　told　people　that　she　found　me　

very　stupid；　she　gave　me　the　Armenian　books；　however。'



'Saul；'　said　my　father；　musingly；　'Saul。　　I　am　afraid　she　was　only　

too　right　there；　he　disobeyed　the　commands　of　his　master；　and　

brought　down　on　his　head　the　vengeance　of　Heaven　…　he　became　a　

maniac；　prophesied；　and　flung　weapons　about　him。'



'He　was；　indeed；　an　awful　character　…　I　hope　I　shan't　turn　out　like　

him。'



'God　forbid！'　said　my　father；　solemnly；　'but　in　many　respects　you　

are　headstrong　and　disobedient　like　him。　　I　placed　you　in　a　

profession；　and　besought　you　to　make　yourself　master　of　it　by　

giving　it　your　undivided　attention。　　This；　however；　you　did　not　do；　

you　know　nothing　of　it；　but　tell　me　that　you　are　acquainted　with　

Armenian；　but　what　I　dislike　most　is　your　want　of　candour　…　you　are　

my　son；　but　I　know　little　of　your　real　history；　you　may　know　fifty　

things　for　what　I　am　aware：　　you　may　know　how　to　shoe　a　horse　for　

what　I　am　aware。'



'Not　only　to　shoe　a　horse；　father；　but　to　make　horse…shoes。'



'Perhaps　so；'　said　my　father；　'and　it　only　serves　to　prove　what　I　

was　just　saying；　that　I　know　little　about　you。'



'But　you　easily　may；　my　dear　father；　I　will　tell　you　anything　that　

you　may　wish　to　know　…　shall　I　inform　you　how　I　learnt　to　make　

horse…shoes？'



'No；'　said　my　father；　'as　you　kept　it　a　secret　so　long；　it　may　as　

well　continue　so　still。　　Had　you　been　a　frank；　open…hearted　boy；　

like　one　I　could　name；　you　would　have　told　me　all　about　it　of　your　

own　accord。　　But　I　now　wish　to　ask　you　a　serious　question　…　what　do　

you　propose　to　do？'



'To　do；　father？'



'Yes！　the　time　for　which　you　were　articled　to　your　profession　will　

soon　be　expired；　and　I　shall　be　no　more。'



'Do　not　talk　so；　my　dear　father；　I　have　no　doubt　that　you　will　soon　

be　better。'



'Do　not　flatter　yourself；　I　feel　that　my　days　are　numbered；　I　am　

soon　going　to　my　rest；　and　I　have　need　of　rest；　for　I　am　weary。　　

There；　there；　don't　weep！　　Tears　will　help　me　as　little　as　they　

will　you；　you　have　not　yet　answered　my　question。　　Tell　me　what　you　

intend　to　do？'



'I　really　do　not　know　what　I　shall　do。'



'The　military　pension　which　I　enjoy　will　cease　with　my　life。　　The　

property　which　I　shall　leave　behind　me　will　be　barely　sufficient　

for　the　maintenance　of　your　mother　respectably。　　I　again　ask　you　

what　you　intend　to　do。　　Do　you　think　you　can　support　yourself　by　

your　Armenian　or　your　other　acquirements？'



'Alas！　　I　think　little　at　all　about　it；　but　I　suppose　I　must　push　

into　the　world；　and　make　a　good　fight；　as　becomes　the　son　of　him　

who　fought　Big　Ben；　if　I　can't　succeed；　and　am　driven　to　the　worst；　

it　is　but　dying　…　'



'What　do　you　mean　by　dying？'



'Leaving　the　world；　my　loss　would　scarcely　be　felt。　　I　have　never　

held　life　in　much　value；　and　every　one　has　a　right　to　dispose　as　he　

thinks　best　of　that　which　is　his　own。'



'Ah！　now　I　understand　you；　and　well　I　know　how　and　where　you　

imbibed　that　horrible　doctrine；　and　many　similar　ones　which　I　have　

heard　from　your　mouth；　but　I　wish　not　to　reproach　you　…　I　view　in　

your　conduct　a　punishment　for　my　own　sins；　and　I　bow　to　the　will　of　

God。　　Few　and　evil　have　been　my　days　upon　the　earth；　little　have　I　

done　to　which　I　can　look　back　with　satisfaction。　　It　is　true　I　have　

served　my　king　fifty　years；　and　I　have　fought　with　…　Heaven　forgive　

me；　what　was　I　about　to　say！　…　but　you　mentioned　the　man's　name；　

and　our　minds　willingly　recall　our　ancient　follies。　　Few　and　evil　

have　been　my　days　upon　earth；　I　may　say　with　Jacob　of　old；　though　I　

do　not　mean　to　say　that　my　case　is　so　hard　as　his；　he　had　many　

undutiful　children；　whilst　I　have　only　…；　but　I　will　not　reproach　

you。　　I　have　also　like　him　a　son　to　whom　I　can　look　with　hope；　who　

may　yet　preserve　my　name　when　I　am　gone；　so　let　me　be　thankful；　

perhaps；　after　all；　I　have　not　lived　in　vain。　　Boy；　when　I　am　gone；　

look　up　to　your　brother；　and　may　God　bless　you　both！　　There；　don't　

weep；　but　take　the　Bible；　and　read　me　something　about　the　old　man　

and　his　children。'



My　brother　had　now　been　absent　for　the　space　of　three　years。　　At　

first　his　letters　had　been　frequent；　and　from　them　it　appeared　that　

he　was　following　his　profession　in　London　with　industry；　they　then　

became　rather　rare；　and　my　father　did　not　always　communicate　their　

contents。　　His　last　letter；　however；　had　filled　him　and　our　whole　

little　family　with　joy；　it　was　dated　from　Paris；　and　the　writer　was　

evidently　in　high　spirits。　　After　describing　in　eloquent　terms　the　

beauties　and　gaieties　of　the　French　capital；　he　informed　us　how　he　

had　plenty　of　money；　having　copied　a　celebrated　picture　of　one　of　

the　Italian　masters　for　a　Hungarian　nobleman；　for　which　he　had　

received　a　large　sum。　　'He　wishes　me　to　go　with　him　to　Italy；'　

added　he；　'but　I　am　fond　of　independence；　and；　if　ever　I　visit　old　

Rome；　I　will　have　no　patrons　near　me　to　distract　my　attention。'　　

But　six　months　had　now　elapsed　from　the　date　of　this　letter；　and　we　

had　heard　no　further　intelligence　of　my　brother。　　My　father's　

complaint　increased；　the　gout；　his　principal　enemy；　occasionally　

mounted　high　up　in　his　system；　and　we　had　considerable　difficulty　

in　keeping　it　from　the　stomach；　where　it　generally　proves　fatal。　　I　

now　devoted　almost　the　whole　of　my　time　to　my　father；　on　whom　his　

faithful　partner　a