lavengro-第50章

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industriously　circulated；　namely；　that　the　Review　was　low；　and　that　

to　be　reviewed　in　it　was　an　infallible　sign　that　one　was　a　low　

person；　who　could　be　reviewed　nowhere　else。　　So　authors　took　

fright；　and　no　wonder；　for　it　will　never　do　for　an　author　to　be　

considered　low。　　Homer　himself　has　never　yet　entirely　recovered　

from　the　injury　he　received　by　Lord　Chesterfield's　remark　that　the　

speeches　of　his　heroes　were　frequently　exceedingly　low。



So　the　Review　ceased；　and　the　reviewing　corps　no　longer　existed　as　

such；　they　forthwith　returned　to　their　proper　avocations　…　the　

editor　to　compose　tunes　on　his　piano；　and　to　the　task　of　disposing　

of　the　remaining　copies　of　his　Quintilian　…　the　inferior　members　to　

working　for　the　publisher；　being　to　a　man　dependants　of　his；　one；　

to　composing　fairy　tales；　another；　to　collecting　miracles　of　Popish　

saints；　and　a　third；　Newgate　lives　and　trials。　　Owing　to　the　bad　

success　of　the　Review；　the　publisher　became　more　furious　than　ever。　　

My　money　was　growing　short；　and　I　one　day　asked　him　to　pay　me　for　

my　labours　in　the　deceased　publication。



'Sir；'　said　the　publisher；　'what　do　you　want　the　money　for？'



'Merely　to　live　on；'　I　replied；　'it　is　very　difficult　to　live　in　

this　town　without　money。'



'How　much　money　did　you　bring　with　you　to　town？'　demanded　the　

publisher。



'Some　twenty　or　thirty　pounds；'　I　replied。



'And　you　have　spent　it　already？'



'No；'　said　I；　'not　entirely；　but　it　is　fast　disappearing。'



'Sir；'　said　the　publisher；　'I　believe　you　to　be　extravagant；　yes；　

sir；　extravagant！'



'On　what　grounds　do　you　suppose　me　to　be　so？'



'Sir；'　said　the　publisher；　'you　eat　meat。'



'Yes；'　said　I；　'I　eat　meat　sometimes；　what　should　I　eat？'



'Bread；　sir；'　said　the　publisher；　'bread　and　cheese。'



'So　I　do；　sir；　when　I　am　disposed　to　indulge；　but　I　cannot　often　

afford　it　…　it　is　very　expensive　to　dine　on　bread　and　cheese；　

especially　when　one　is　fond　of　cheese；　as　I　am。　　My　last　bread　and　

cheese　dinner　cost　me　fourteenpence。　　There　is　drink；　sir；　with　

bread　and　cheese　one　must　drink　porter；　　sir。'



'Then；　sir；　eat　bread　…　bread　alone。　　As　good　men　as　yourself　have　

eaten　bread　alone；　they　have　been　glad　to　get　it；　sir。　　If　with　

bread　and　cheese　you　must　drink　porter；　sir；　with　bread　alone　you　

can；　perhaps；　drink　water；　sir。'



However；　I　got　paid　at　last　for　my　writings　in　the　Review；　not；　it　

is　true；　in　the　current　coin　of　the　realm；　but　in　certain　bills；　

there　were　two　of　them；　one　payable　at　twelve；　and　the　other　at　

eighteen　months　after　date。　　It　was　a　long　time　before　I　could　turn　

these　bills　to　any　account；　at　last　I　found　a　person　who；　at　a　

discount　of　only　thirty　per　cent；　consented　to　cash　them；　not；　

however；　without　sundry　grimaces；　and；　what　was　still　more　galling；　

holding；　more　than　once；　the　unfortunate　papers　high　in　air　between　

his　forefinger　and　thumb。　　So　ill；　indeed；　did　I　like　this　last　

action；　that　I　felt　much　inclined　to　snatch　them　away。　　I　

restrained　myself；　however；　for　I　remembered　that　it　was　very　

difficult　to　live　without　money；　and　that；　if　the　present　person　

did　not　discount　the　bills；　I　should　probably　find　no　one　else　that　

would。



But　if　the　treatment　which　I　had　experienced　from　the　publisher；　

previous　to　making　this　demand　upon　him；　was　difficult　to　bear；　

that　which　I　subsequently　underwent　was　far　more　so：　　his　great　

delight　seemed　to　consist　in　causing　me　misery　and　mortification；　

if；　on　former　occasions；　he　was　continually　sending　me　in　quest　of　

lives　and　trials　difficult　to　find；　he　now　was　continually　

demanding　lives　and　trials　which　it　was　impossible　to　find；　the　

personages　whom　he　mentioned　never　having　lived；　nor　consequently　

been　tried。　　Moreover；　some　of　my　best　lives　and　trials　which　I　had　

corrected　and　edited　with　particular　care；　and　on　which　I　prided　

myself　no　little；　he　caused　to　be　cancelled　after　they　had　passed　

through　the　press。　　Amongst　these　was　the　life　of　'Gentleman　

Harry。'　　'They　are　drugs；　sir；'　said　the　publisher；　'drugs；　that　

life　of　Harry　Simms　has　long　been　the　greatest　drug　in　the　calendar　

…　has　it　not；　Taggart？'



Taggart　made　no　answer　save　by　taking　a　pinch　of　snuff。　　The　

reader；　has；　I　hope；　not　forgotten　Taggart；　whom　I　mentioned　whilst　

giving　an　account　of　my　first　morning's　visit　to　the　publisher。　　I　

beg　Taggart's　pardon　for　having　been　so　long　silent　about　him；　but　

he　was　a　very　silent　man　…　yet　there　was　much　in　Taggart　…　and　

Taggart　had　always　been　civil　and　kind　to　me　in　his　peculiar　way。



'Well；　young　gentleman；'　said　Taggart　to　me　one　morning；　when　we　

chanced　to　be　alone　a　few　days　after　the　affair　of　the　cancelling；　

'how　do　you　like　authorship？'



'I　scarcely　call　authorship　the　drudgery　I　am　engaged　in；'　said　I。



'What　do　you　call　authorship？'　said　Taggart。



'I　scarcely　know；'　said　I；　'that　is；　I　can　scarcely　express　what　I　

think　it。'



'Shall　I　help　you　out？'　said　Taggart；　turning　round　his　chair；　and　

looking　at　me。



'If　you　like；'　said　I。



'To　write　something　grand；'　said　Taggart；　taking　snuff；　'to　be　

stared　at　…　lifted　on　people's　shoulders　…　'



'Well；'　said　I；　'that　is　something　like　it。'



Taggart　took　snuff。　　'Well；'　said　he；　'why　don't　you　write　

something　grand？'



'I　have；'　said　I。



'What？'　said　Taggart。



'Why；'　said　I；　'there　are　those　ballads。'



Taggart　took　snuff。



'And　those　wonderful　versions　from　Ab　Gwilym。'



Taggart　took　snuff　again。



'You　seem　to　be　very　fond　of　snuff；'　said　I；　looking　at　him　

angrily。



Taggart　tapped　his　box。



'Have　you　taken　it　long？'



'Three…and…twenty　years。'



'What　snuff　do　you　take？'



'Universal　mixture。'



'And　you　find　it　of　use？



Taggart　tapped　his　box。



'In　what　respect？'　said　I。



'In　many　…　there　is　nothing　like　it　to　get　a　man　through；　but　for　

snuff　I　should　scarcely　be　where　I　am　now。'



'Have　you　been　long　here？'



'Three…and…twenty　years。'



'Dear　me；'　said　I；　'and　snuff　brought　you　through？　　Give　me　a　pinch　

…　pah；　I　don't　like　it；'　and　I　sneezed。



'Take　another　pinch；'　said　Taggart。



'No；'　said　I；　'I　don't　like　snuff。'



'Then　you　will　never　do　for　authorship；　at　least　for　this　kind。'



'So　I　begin　to　think　…　what　shall　I　do？'



Taggart　took　snuff。



'You　were　talking　of　a　great　work　…　what　shall　it　be？'



Taggart　took　snuff。



'Do　you　think　I　could　write　one？'



Taggart　uplifted　his　two　forefingers　as　if　to　tap；　he　did　not　

however。



'It　would　require　time；'　said　I；　with　a　half　sigh。



Taggart　tapped　his　box。



'A　great　deal　of　time；　I　really　think　that　my　ballads　…　'



Taggart　took　snuff。



'If　published；　would　do　me　credit。　　I'll　make　an　effort；　and　offer　

them　to　some　other　publisher。'



Taggart　took　a　double　quantity　of　snuff。







CHAPTER　XLII







Francis　Ardry　…　That　won't　do；　sir　…　Observe　my　gestures　…　I　think　

you　improve　…　Better　than　politics　…　Delightful　young　Frenchwoman　…　

A　burning　shame　…　Magnificent　impudence　…　Paunch　…　Voltaire　…　Lump　

of　sugar。



OCCASIONALLY　I　called　on　Francis　Ardry。　　This　young　gentleman　

resided　in　handsome　apartments　in　the　neighbourhood　of　a　

fashionable　square；　kept　a　livery　servant；　and；　upon　the　whole；　

lived　in　very　good　style。　　Going　to　see　him　one　day；　between　one　

and　two；　I　was　informed　by　the　servant　that　his　master　was　engaged　

for　the　moment；　but　that；　if　I　pleased　to　wait　a　few　minutes；　I　

should　find　him　at　liberty。　　Having　told　the　man　that　I　had　no　

objection；　he　conducted　me　into　a　small　apartment　which　served　as　

antechamber　to　a　drawing…room；　the　door　of　this　last　being　half　

open；　I　could　see　Francis　Ardry　at　the　farther　end；　speechifying　

and　gesticulating　in　a　very　impressive　manner。　　The　servant；　in　

some　confusion；　was　hastening　to　close　the　door；　but；　ere　he　could　

effect　his　purpose；　Francis　Ardry；　who　had　caught　a　glimpse　of　me；　

exclaimed；　'Come　in　…　come　in　by　all　means'；　and　then　proceeded；　as　

before；　speechifying　and　gesticulating。　　Filled　with　some　surprise；　

I　obeyed　his　summons。



On　entering　the　room　I　perceived　another　individual；　to　whom　

Francis　Ardry　appeared　to　be　addressing　himself；　this　other　was　a　

short　spare　man　of　about　sixty；　his　hair　was　of　badger　gray；　and　

his　face　was　covered　with　wrinkles　…　without　vouchsafing　me　a　look；　

he　kept　his　eye；　which　was　black　and　lustrous；　fixed　full　on　

Francis　Ardry；　as　if　paying　the　deepest　attention　to　his　discourse。　　

All　of　a　sudden；　however；　he　cried　with　a　sharp；　cracked　voice；　

'That　won't　do；　sir；　that　won't　do　…　more　vehemence　…　your　argument　

is　at　present　particularly　weak；　therefore；　more　vehemence　…　you　

must　confuse　them；　stun　them；　stultify　them；　sir'；　and；　at　each　of　

these　injunctions；　he　struck　the　back　of　his　right　hand　sharply　

against　the　palm　of　the　left。　　'Good；　sir　…　good！'　he　occasionally　

uttered；　in　the　same　sharp；　cracked　tone；　as　the　voice　of　Francis　

Ardry　became　more　and　more　vehement。　　'Infinitely　good！'　he　

exclaimed；　as　Francis　Ardry　raised　his　voice　to　the　highest　pitch；　

'and　now；　sir；　abate；　let　the　tempest　of　vehemence　decline　…　

gradually；　sir；　not　too　fast。　　Good；　sir　…　very　good！'　as　the　voice　

of　Francis　Ardry　declined　gradually　in　vehemence。　　'And　now　a　

little　pathos；　sir　…　try　them　with　a　little　pathos。　　That　won't　do；　

sir　…　that　won't　do；'　…　as　Francis　Ardry　made　an　attempt　to　become　

pathetic；　…　'that　will　never　pass　for　pathos　…　with　tones　and　

gesture　of　that　description　you　will　never　redress　the　wrongs　of　

your　country。　　Now；　sir；　observe　my　gestures；　and　pay　attention　to　

the　tone　of　my　voice；　sir。'



Thereupon；　making　use　of　nearly　the　same　terms　which　Francis　Ardry　

had　employed；　the　individual　in　black　uttered　several　sentences　in　

tones　and　with　gestures　which　were　intended　to　express　a　

considerable　degree　of　pathos；　though　it　is　possible　that　some　

people　would　have　thought　both　the　one　and　the　other　highly　

ludicrous。　　After　a　pause；　Francis　Ardry　recommenced　imitating　the　

tones　and　the　gestures　of　his　monitor　in　the　most　admirable　manner。　　

Before　he　had　proceeded　far；　however；　he　burst　into　a　fit　of　

laughter；　in　which　I　should；　perhaps；　have　joined；　provided　it　were　

ever　my　wont　to　laugh。　　'Ha；　ha！'　said　the　other；　good…humouredly；　

'you　are　laughing　at　me。　　Well；　well；　I　merely　wished　to　give　you　a　

hint；　but　you　saw　very　well　what　I　meant；　upon　the　whole　I　think　

you　improve。　　But　I　must　now　go；　having　two　other　pupils　to　visit　

before　four。'



Then　taking　from　the　table　a　kind　of　three…cornered　hat；　and　a　cane　

headed　with　amber；　he　shook　Francis　Ardry　by　the　hand；　and；　after　

glancing　at　me　for　a　moment；　made　me　a　half　bow；　attended　with　a　

strange　grimace；　and　departed。



'Who　is　that　gentleman？'　said　I　to　F