lavengro-第72章

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with　respect　to　your　present　troubles　and　anxieties；　would　it　not　

be　wise；　seeing　that　authorship　causes　you　so　much　trouble　and　

anxiety；　to　give　it　up　altogether？'



'Were　you　an　author　yourself；'　replied　my　host；　'you　would　not　talk　

in　this　manner；　once　an　author；　ever　an　author　…　besides；　what　

could　I　do？　return　to　my　former　state　of　vegetation？　no；　much　as　I　

endure；　I　do　not　wish　that；　besides；　every　now　and　then　my　reason　

tells　me　that　these　troubles　and　anxieties　of　mine　are　utterly　

without；　foundation　that　whatever　I　write　is　the　legitimate　growth　

of　my　own　mind；　and　that　it　is　the　height　of　folly　to　afflict　

myself　at　any　chance　resemblance　between　my　own　thoughts　and　those　

of　other　writers；　such　resemblance　being　inevitable　from　the　fact　

of　our　common　human　origin。　　In　short　…　'



'I　understand　you；'　said　I；　'notwithstanding　your　troubles　and　

anxieties　you　find　life　very　tolerable；　has　your　originality　ever　

been　called　in　question？'



'On　the　contrary；　every　one　declares　that　originality　constitutes　

the　most　remarkable　feature　of　my　writings；　the　man　has　some　

faults；　they　say；　but　want　of　originality　is　certainly　not　one　of　

them。　　He　is　quite　different　from　others　…　a　certain　newspaper；　it　

is　true；　the　…　I　think；　once　insinuated　that　in　a　certain　work　of　

mine　I　had　taken　a　hint　or　two　from　the　writings　of　a　couple　of　

authors　which　it　mentioned；　it　happened；　however；　that　I　had　never　

even　read　one　syllable　of　the　writings　of　either；　and　of　one　of　

them　had　never　even　heard　the　name；　so　much　for　the　discrimination　

of　the　…。　　By　the　bye；　what　a　rascally　newspaper　that　is！'



'A　very　rascally　newspaper；'　said　I。







CHAPTER　LXVII







Disturbed　slumbers　…　The　bed…post　…　Two　wizards　…　What　can　I　do？　…　

Real　library　…　The　Rev。　Mr。　Platitude　…　Toleration　to　Dissenters　…　

Paradox　…　Sword　of　St。　Peter　…　Enemy　to　humbug　…　High　principles　…　

False　concord　…　The　damsel　…　What　religion？　…　Further　conversation　

…　That　would　never　do！　…　May　you　prosper。



DURING　the　greater　part　of　that　night　my　slumbers　were　disturbed　by　

strange　dreams。　　Amongst　other　things；　I　fancied　that　I　was　my　

host；　my　head　appeared　to　be　teeming　with　wild　thoughts　and　

imaginations；　out　of　which　I　was　endeavouring　to　frame　a　book。　　And　

now　the　book　was　finished　and　given　to　the　world；　and　the　world　

shouted；　and　all　eyes　were　turned　upon　me；　and　I　shrank　from　the　

eyes　of　the　world。　　And；　when　I　got　into　retired　places；　I　touched　

various　objects　in　order　to　baffle　the　evil　chance。　　In　short；　

during　the　whole　night；　I　was　acting　over　the　story　which　I　had　

heard　before　I　went　to　bed。



At　about　eight　o'clock　I　awoke。　　The　storm　had　long　since　passed　

away；　and　the　morning　was　bright　and　shining；　my　couch　was　so　soft　

and　luxurious　that　I　felt　loth　to　quit　it；　so　I　lay　some　time；　my　

eyes　wandering　about　the　magnificent　room　to　which　fortune　had　

conducted　me　in　so　singular　a　manner；　at　last　I　heaved　a　sigh；　I　

was　thinking　of　my　own　homeless　condition；　and　imagining　where　I　

should　find　myself　on　the　following　morning。　　Unwilling；　however；　

to　indulge　in　melancholy　thoughts；　I　sprang　out　of　bed　and　

proceeded　to　dress　myself；　and；　whilst　dressing；　I　felt　an　

irresistible　inclination　to　touch　the　bed…post。



I　finished　dressing　and　left　the　room；　feeling　compelled；　however；　

as　I　left　it；　to　touch　the　lintel　of　the　door。　　Is　it　possible；　

thought　I；　that　from　what　I　have　lately　heard　the　long…forgotten　

influence　should　have　possessed　me　again？　but　I　will　not　give　way　

to　it；　so　I　hurried　downstairs；　resisting　as　I　went　a　certain　

inclination　which　I　occasionally　felt　to　touch　the　rail　of　the　

banister。　　I　was　presently　upon　the　gravel　walk　before　the　house：　　

it　was　indeed　a　glorious　morning。　　I　stood　for　some　time　observing　

the　golden　fish　disporting　in　the　waters　of　the　pond；　and　then　

strolled　about　amongst　the　noble　trees　of　the　park；　the　beauty　and　

freshness　of　the　morning　…　for　the　air　had　been　considerably　cooled　

by　the　late　storm　…　soon　enabled　me　to　cast　away　the　gloomy　ideas　

which　had　previously　taken　possession　of　my　mind；　and；　after　a　

stroll　of　about　half　an　hour；　I　returned　towards　the　house　in　high　

spirits。　　It　is　true　that　once　I　felt　very　much　inclined　to　go　and　

touch　the　leaves　of　a　flowery　shrub　which　I　saw　at　some　distance；　

and　had　even　moved　two　or　three　paces　towards　it；　but；　bethinking　

myself；　I　manfully　resisted　the　temptation。　　'Begone！'　I　exclaimed；　

'ye　sorceries；　in　which　I　formerly　trusted　…　begone　for　ever　

vagaries　which　I　had　almost　forgotten；　good　luck　is　not　to　be　

obtained；　or　bad　averted；　by　magic　touches；　besides；　two　wizards　in　

one　parish　would　be　too　much；　in　all　conscience。'



I　returned　to　the　house；　and　entered　the　library；　breakfast　was　

laid　on　the　table；　and　my　friend　was　standing　before　the　portrait　

which　I　have　already　said　hung　above　the　mantelpiece；　so　intently　

was　he　occupied　in　gazing　at　it　that　he　did　not　hear　me　enter；　nor　

was　aware　of　my　presence　till　I　advanced　close　to　him　and　spoke；　

when　he　turned　round　and　shook　me　by　the　hand。



'What　can　possibly　have　induced　you　to　hang　up　that　portrait　in　

your　library？　it　is　a　staring　likeness；　it　is　true；　but　it　appears　

to　me　a　wretched　daub。'



'Daub　as　you　call　it；'　said　my　friend；　smiling；　'I　would　not　part　

with　it　for　the　best　piece　of　Rafael。　　For　many　a　happy　thought　I　

am　indebted　to　that　picture　…　it　is　my　principal　source　of　

inspiration；　when　my　imagination　flags；　as　of　course　it　

occasionally　does；　I　stare　upon　those　features；　and　forthwith　

strange　ideas　of　fun　and　drollery　begin　to　flow　into　my　mind；　these　

I　round；　amplify；　or　combine　into　goodly　creations；　and　bring　forth　

as　I　find　an　opportunity。　　It　is　true　that　I　am　occasionally　

tormented　by　the　thought　that；　by　doing　this；　I　am　committing　

plagiarism；　though；　in　that　case；　all　thoughts　must　be　plagiarisms；　

all　that　we　think　being　the　result　of　what　we　hear；　see；　or　feel。　　

What　can　I　do？　　I　must　derive　my　thoughts　from　some　source　or　

other；　and；　after　all；　it　is　better　to　plagiarise　from　the　features　

of　my　landlord　than　from　the　works　of　Butler　and　Cervantes。　　My　

works；　as　you　are　aware；　are　of　a　serio…comic　character。　　My　

neighbours　are　of　opinion　that　I　am　a　great　reader；　and　so　I　am；　

but　only　of　those　features　…　my　real　library　is　that　picture。'



'But　how　did　you　obtain　it？'　said　I。



'Some　years　ago　a　travelling　painter　came　into　this　neighbourhood；　


and　my　jolly　host；　at　the　request　of　his　wife；　consented　to　sit　for　

his　portrait；　she　highly　admired　the　picture；　but　she　soon　died；　

and　then　my　fat　friend；　who　is　of　an　affectionate　disposition；　said　

he　could　not　bear　the　sight　of　it；　as　it　put　him　in　mind　of　his　

poor　wife。　　I　purchased　it　of　him　for　five　pounds　…　I　would　not　

take　five　thousand　for　it；　when　you　called　that　picture　a　daub；　you　

did　not　see　all　the　poetry　of　it。'



We　sat　down　to　breakfast；　my　entertainer　appeared　to　be　in　much　

better　spirits　than　on　the　preceding　day；　I　did　not　observe　him　

touch　once；　ere　breakfast　was　over　a　servant　entered　…　'The　

Reverend　Mr。　Platitude；　sir；'　said　he。



A　shade　of　dissatisfaction　came　over　the　countenance　of　my　host。　　

'What　does　the　silly　pestilent　fellow　mean　by　coming　here？'　said　

he；　half　to　himself；　'let　him　come　in；'　said　he　to　the　servant。



The　servant　went　out；　and　in　a　moment　reappeared；　introducing　the　

Reverend　Mr。　Platitude。　　The　Reverend　Mr。　Platitude；　having　what　is　

vulgarly　called　a　game　leg；　came　shambling　into　the　room；　he　was　

about　thirty　years　of　age；　and　about　five　feet　three　inches　high；　

his　face　was　of　the　colour　of　pepper；　and　nearly　as　rugged　as　a　

nutmeg…grater；　his　hair　was　black；　with　his　eyes　he　squinted；　and　

grinned　with　his　lips；　which　were　very　much　apart；　disclosing　two　

very　irregular　rows　of　teeth；　he　was　dressed　in　the　true　Levitical　

fashion；　in　a　suit　of　spotless　black；　and　a　neckerchief　of　spotless　

white。



The　Reverend　Mr。　Platitude　advanced　winking　and　grinning　to　my　

entertainer；　who　received　him　politely　but　with　evident　coldness；　

nothing　daunted；　however；　the　Reverend　Mr。　Platitude　took　a　seat　by　

the　table；　and；　being　asked　to　take　a　cup　of　coffee；　winked；　

grinned；　and　consented。



In　company　I　am　occasionally　subject　to　fits　of　what　is　generally　

called　absence；　my　mind　takes　flight　and　returns　to　former　scenes；　

or　presses　forward　into　the　future。　　One　of　these　fits　of　absence　

came　over　me　at　this　time　…　I　looked　at　the　Reverend　Mr。　Platitude　

for　a　moment；　heard　a　word　or　two　that　proceeded　from　his　mouth；　

and　saying　to　myself；　'You　are　no　man　for　me；'　fell　into　a　fit　of　

musing　…　into　the　same　train　of　thought　as　in　the　morning；　no　very　

pleasant　one　…　I　was　thinking　of　the　future。



I　continued　in　my　reverie　for　some　time；　and　probably　should　have　

continued　longer；　had　I　not　been　suddenly　aroused　by　the　voice　of　

Mr。　Platitude　raised　to　a　very　high　key。　　'Yes；　my　dear　sir；'　said　

he；　'it　is　but　too　true；　I　have　it　on　good　authority　…　a　gone　

church　…　a　lost　church　…　a　ruined　church　…　a　demolished　church　is　

the　Church　of　England。　　Toleration　to　Dissenters！　…　oh；　monstrous！'



'I　suppose；'　said　my　host；　'that　the　repeal　of　the　Test　Acts　will　

be　merely　a　precursor　of　the　emancipation　of　the　Papists？'



'Of　the　Catholics；'　said　the　Reverend　Mr。　Platitude。　　'Ahem。　　There　

was　a　time；　as　I　believe　you　are　aware；　my　dear　sir；　when　I　was　as　

much　opposed　to　the　emancipation　of　the　Catholics　as　it　was　

possible　for　any　one　to　be；　but　I　was　prejudiced；　my　dear　sir；　

labouring　under　a　cloud　of　most　unfortunate　prejudice；　but　I　thank　

my　Maker　I　am　so　no　longer。　　I　have　travelled；　as　you　are　aware。　　

It　is　only　by　travelling　that　one　can　rub　off　prejudices；　I　think　

you　will　agree　with　me　there。　　I　am　speaking　to　a　traveller。　　I　

left　behind　all　my　prejudices　in　Italy。　　The　Catholics　are　at　least　

our　fellow…Christians。　　I　thank　Heaven　that　I　am　no　longer　an　enemy　

to　Catholic　emancipation。'



'And　yet　you　would　not　tolerate　Dissenters？'



'Dissenters；　my　dear　sir；　I　hope　you　would　not　class　such　a　set　as　

the　Dissenters　with　Catholics？'



'Perhaps　it　would　be　unjust；'　said　my　host；　'though　to　which　of　the　

two　parties　is　another　thing；　but　permit　me　to　ask　you　a　question：　　

Does　it　not　smack　somewhat　of　paradox　to　talk　of　Catholics；　whilst　

you　admit　there　are　Dissenters？　　If　there　are　Dissenters；　how　

should　there　be　Catholics？'



'It　is　not　my　fault　that　there　are　Dissenters；'　said　the　Reverend　

Mr。　Platitude；　'if　I　had　my　will　I　would　neither　admit　there　were　

any；　nor　permit　any　to　be。'



'Of　course　you　would　admit　there　were　such　as　long　as　they　existed；　

but　how　would　you　get　rid　of　them？'



'I　would　have　the　Church　exert　its　authority。'



'What　do　you　mean　by　exerting