lavengro-第88章

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'That's　true；'　said　Peter。　　'What　is　the　name　of　the　book？'



'THE　LIFE　OF　BLESSED　MARY　FLANDERS。'



'Some　popish　saint；　I　suppose；'　said　Peter。



'As　much　of　a　saint；　I　daresay；'　said　I；　'as　most　popish　ones；　but　

you　interrupted　me。　　One　part　of　your　narrative　brought　the　passage　

which　I　have　quoted　into　my　mind。　　You　said　that　after　you　had　

committed　this　same　sin　of　yours　you　were　in　the　habit；　at　school；　

of　looking　upon　your　schoolfellows　with　a　kind　of　gloomy　

superiority；　considering　yourself　a　lone　monstrous　being　who　had　

committed　a　sin　far　above　the　daring　of　any　of　them。　　Are　you　sure　

that　many　others　of　your　schoolfellows　were　not　looking　upon　you　

and　the　others　with　much　the　same　eyes　with　which　you　were　looking　

upon　them？'



'How！'　said　Peter；　'dost　thou　think　that　they　had　divined　my　

secret？'



'Not　they；'　said　I；　'they　were；　I　daresay；　thinking　too　much　of　

themselves　and　of　their　own　concerns　to　have　divined　any　secrets　of　

yours。　　All　I　mean　to　say　is；　they　had　probably　secrets　of　their　

own；　and　who　knows　that　the　secret　sin　of　more　than　one　of　them　was　

not　the　very　sin　which　caused　you　so　much　misery？'



'Dost　thou　then　imagine；'　said　Peter；　'the　sin　against　the　Holy　

Ghost　to　be　so　common　an　occurrence？'



'As　you　have　described　it；'　said　I；　'of　very　common　occurrence；　

especially　amongst　children；　who　are；　indeed；　the　only　beings　

likely　to　commit　it。'



'Truly；'　said　Winifred；　'the　young　man　talks　wisely。'



Peter　was　silent　for　some　moments；　and　appeared　to　be　reflecting；　

at　last；　suddenly　raising　his　head；　he　looked　me　full　in　the　face；　

and；　grasping　my　hand　with　vehemence；　he　said；　'Tell　me；　young　man；　

only　one　thing；　hast　thou；　too；　committed　the　sin　against　the　Holy　

Ghost？'



'I　am　neither　Papist　nor　Methodist；'　said　I；　'but　of　the　Church；　

and；　being　so；　confess　myself　to　no　one；　but　keep　my　own　counsel；　I　

will　tell　thee；　however；　had　I　committed；　at　the　same　age；　twenty　

such　sins　as　that　which　you　committed；　I　should　feel　no　uneasiness　

at　these　years　…　but　I　am　sleepy；　and　must　go　to　rest。'



'God　bless　thee；　young　man；'　said　Winifred。







CHAPTER　LXXVIII







Low　and　calm　…　Much　better　…　Blessed　effect　…　No　answer　…　Such　a　

sermon。



BEFORE　I　sank　to　rest　I　heard　Winifred　and　her　husband　conversing　

in　the　place　where　I　had　left　them；　both　their　voices　were　low　and　

calm。　　I　soon　fell　asleep；　and　slumbered　for　some　time。　　On　my　

awakening　I　again　heard　them　conversing；　but　they　were　now　in　their　

cart；　still　the　voices　of　both　were　calm。　　I　heard　no　passionate　

bursts　of　wild　despair　on　the　part　of　the　man。　　Methought　I　

occasionally　heard　the　word　Pechod　proceeding　from　the　lips　of　

each；　but　with　no　particular　emphasis。　　I　supposed　they　were　

talking　of　the　innate　sin　of　both　their　hearts。



'I　wish　that　man　were　happy；'　said　I　to　myself；　'were　it　only　for　

his　wife's　sake；　and　yet　he　deserves　to　be　happy　for　his　own。'



The　next　day　Peter　was　very　cheerful；　more　cheerful　than　I　had　ever　

seen　him。　　At　breakfast　his　conversation　was　animated；　and　he　

smiled　repeatedly。　　I　looked　at　him　with　the　greatest　interest；　and　

the　eyes　of　his　wife　were　almost　constantly　fixed　upon　him。　　A　

shade　of　gloom　would　occasionally　come　over　his　countenance；　but　it　

almost　instantly　disappeared；　perhaps　it　proceeded　more　from　habit　

than　anything　else。　　After　breakfast　he　took　his　Welsh　Bible　and　

sat　down　beneath　a　tree。　　His　eyes　were　soon　fixed　intently　on　the　

volume；　now　and　then　he　would　call　his　wife；　show　her　some　passage；　

and　appeared　to　consult　with　her。　　The　day　passed　quickly　and　

comfortably。



'Your　husband　seems　much　better；'　said　I；　at　evening　fall；　to　

Winifred；　as　we　chanced　to　be　alone。



'He　does；'　said　Winifred；　'and　that　on　the　day　of　the　week　when　he　

was　wont　to　appear　most　melancholy；　for　tomorrow　is　the　Sabbath。　　

He　now　no　longer　looks　forward　to　the　Sabbath　with　dread；　but　

appears　to　reckon　on　it。　　What　a　happy　change！　and　to　think　that　

this　change　should　have　been　produced　by　a　few　words；　seemingly　

careless　ones；　proceeding　from　the　mouth　of　one　who　is　almost　a　

stranger　to　him。　　Truly；　it　is　wonderful。'



'To　whom　do　you　allude；'　said　I；　'and　to　what　words？'



'To　yourself；　and　to　the　words　which　came　from　your　lips　last　

night；　after　you　had　heard　my　poor　husband's　history。　　Those　

strange　words；　drawn　out　with　so　much　seeming　indifference；　have　

produced　in　my　husband　the　blessed　effect　which　you　have　observed。　　

They　have　altered　the　current　of　his　ideas。　　He　no　longer　thinks　

himself　the　only　being　in　the　world　doomed　to　destruction；　…　the　

only　being　capable　of　committing　the　never…to…be…forgiven　sin。　　

Your　supposition　that　that　which　harrowed　his　soul　is　of　frequent　

occurrence　amongst　children　has　tranquillised　him；　the　mist　which　

hung　over　his　mind　has　cleared　away；　and　he　begins　to　see　the　

groundlessness　of　his　apprehensions。　　The　Lord　has　permitted　him　to　

be　chastened　for　a　season；　but　his　lamp　will　only　burn　the　brighter　

for　what　he　has　undergone。'



Sunday　came；　fine　and　glorious　as　the　last。　　Again　my　friends　and　

myself　breakfasted　together　…　again　the　good　family　of　the　house　on　

the　hill　above；　headed　by　the　respectable　master；　descended　to　the　

meadow。　　Peter　and　his　wife　were　ready　to　receive　them。　　Again　

Peter　placed　himself　at　the　side　of　the　honest　farmer；　and　Winifred　

by　the　side　of　her　friend。　　'Wilt　thou　not　come？'　said　Peter；　

looking　towards　me　with　a　face　in　which　there　was　much　emotion。　　

'Wilt　thou　not　come？'　said　Winifred；　with　a　face　beaming　with　

kindness。　　But　I　made　no　answer；　and　presently　the　party　moved　

away；　in　the　same　manner　in　which　it　had　moved　on　the　preceding　

Sabbath；　and　I　was　again　left　alone。



The　hours　of　the　Sabbath　passed　slowly　away。　　I　sat　gazing　at　the　

sky；　the　trees；　and　the　water。　　At　last　I　strolled　up　to　the　house　

and　sat　down　in　the　porch。　　It　was　empty；　there　was　no　modest　

maiden　there；　as　on　the　preceding　Sabbath。　　The　damsel　of　the　book　

had　accompanied　the　rest。　　I　had　seen　her　in　the　procession；　and　

the　house　appeared　quite　deserted。　　The　owners　had　probably　left　it　

to　my　custody；　so　I　sat　down　in　the　porch；　quite　alone。　　The　hours　

of　the　Sabbath　passed　heavily　away。



At　last　evening　came；　and　with　it　the　party　of　the　morning。　　I　was　

now　at　my　place　beneath　the　oak。　　I　went　forward　to　meet　them。　　

Peter　and　his　wife　received　me　with　a　calm　and　quiet　greeting；　and　

passed　forward。　　The　rest　of　the　party　had　broken　into　groups。　　

There　was　a　kind　of　excitement　amongst　them；　and　much　eager　

whispering。　　I　went　to　one　of　the　groups；　the　young　girl　of　whom　I　

have　spoken　more　than　once　was　speaking：　　'Such　a　sermon；'　said　

she；　'it　has　never　been　our　lot　to　hear；　Peter　never　before　spoke　

as　he　has　done　this　day　…　he　was　always　a　powerful　preacher；　but　

oh；　the　unction　of　the　discourse　of　this　morning；　and　yet　more　of　

that　of　the　afternoon；　which　was　the　continuation　of　it！'　　'What　

was　the　subject？'　said　I；　interrupting　her。　　'Ah！　you　should　have　

been　there；　young　man；　to　have　heard　it；　it　would　have　made　a　

lasting　impression　upon　you。　　I　was　bathed　in　tears　all　the　time；　

those　who　heard　it　will　never　forget　the　preaching　of　the　good　

Peter　Williams　on　the　Power；　Providence；　and　Goodness　of　God。'







CHAPTER　LXXIX







Deep　interest　…　Goodly　country　…　Two　mansions　…　Welshman's　Candle　…　

Beautiful　universe　…　Godly　discourse　…　Fine　church　…　Points　of　

doctrine　…　Strange　adventures　…　Paltry　cause　…　Roman　pontiff　…　Evil　

spirit。



ON　the　morrow　I　said　to　my　friends；　'I　am　about　to　depart；　

farewell！'　　'Depart！'　said　Peter　and　his　wife；　simultaneously；　

'whither　wouldst　thou　go？'　　'I　can't　stay　here　all　my　days；'　I　

replied。　　'Of　course　not；'　said　Peter；　'but　we　had　no　idea　of　

losing　thee　so　soon：　　we　had　almost　hoped　that　thou　wouldst　join　

us；　become　one　of　us。　　We　are　under　infinite　obligations　to　thee。'　　

'You　mean　I　am　under　infinite　obligations　to　you；'　said　I。　　'Did　

you　not　save　my　life？'　　'Perhaps　so；　under　God；'　said　Peter；　'and　

what　hast　thou　not　done　for　me？　　Art　thou　aware　that；　under　God；　

thou　hast　preserved　my　soul　from　despair？　　But；　independent　of　

that；　we　like　thy　company；　and　feel　a　deep　interest　in　thee；　and　

would　fain　teach　thee　the　way　that　is　right。　　Hearken；　to…morrow　we　

go　into　Wales；　go　with　us。'　　'I　have　no　wish　to　go　into　Wales；'　

said　I。　　'Why　not？'　said　Peter；　with　animation。　　'Wales　is　a　goodly　

country；　as　the　Scripture　says　…　a　land　of　brooks　of　water；　of　

fountains　and　depths；　that　spring　out　of　valleys　and　hills；　a　land　

whose　stones　are　iron；　and　out　of　whose　hills　thou　mayest　dig　

lead。'



'I　daresay　it　is　a　very　fine　country；'　said　I；　'but　I　have　no　wish　

to　go　there　just　now；　my　destiny　seems　to　point　in　another　

direction；　to　say　nothing　of　my　trade。'　　'Thou　dost　right　to　say　

nothing　of　thy　trade；'　said　Peter；　smiling；　'for　thou　seemest　to　

care　nothing　about　it；　which　has　led　Winifred　and　myself　to　suspect　

that　thou　art　not　altogether　what　thou　seemest；　but；　setting　that　

aside；　we　should　be　most　happy　if　thou　wouldst　go　with　us　into　

Wales。'　　'I　cannot　promise　to　go　with　you　into　Wales；'　said　I；　

'but；　as　you　depart　to…morrow；　I　will　stay　with　you　through　the　

day；　and　on　the　morrow　accompany　you　part　of　the　way。'　　'Do；'　said　

Peter：　　'I　have　many　people　to　see　to…day；　and　so　has　Winifred；　but　

we　will　both　endeavour　to　have　some　serious　discourse　with　thee；　

which；　perhaps；　will　turn　to　thy　profit　in　the　end。'



In　the　course　of　the　day　the　good　Peter　came　to　me；　as　I　was　seated　

beneath　the　oak；　and；　placing　himself　by　me；　commenced　addressing　

me　in　the　following　manner：…



'I　have　no　doubt；　my　young　friend；　that　you　are　willing　to　admit　

that　the　most　important　thing　which　a　human　being　possesses　is　his　

soul；　it　is　of　infinitely　more　importance　than　the　body；　which　is　a　

frail　substance；　and　cannot　last　for　many　years；　but　not　so　the　

soul；　which；　by　its　nature；　is　imperishable。　　To　one　of　two　

mansions　the　soul　is　destined　to　depart；　after　its　separation　from　

the　body；　to　heaven　or　hell；　to　the　halls　of　eternal　bliss；　where　

God　and　His　holy　angels　dwell；　or　to　the　place　of　endless　misery；　

inhabited　by　Satan　and　his　grisly　companions。　　My　friend；　if　the　

joys　of　heaven　are　great；　unutterably　great；　so　are　the　torments　of　

hell　unutterably　so。　　I　wish　not　to　speak　of　them；　I　wish　not　to　

terrify　your　imagination　with　the　torments　of　hell：　　indeed；　I　like　

not　to　think　of　them；　but　it　is　necessary　to　speak　of　them　

sometimes；　and　to　think　of　them　sometimes；　lest　you　should　sink　

into　a　state　of　carnal　security。　　Authors；　friend；　and　learned　men；　

are　not　altogether　agreed　as　to　the　particulars　of　hell。　　They　all　

agree；　however；　in　considering　it　a　place　of