donal grant-第62章

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to。But　where　shall　we　bury　them？where　they　lie；　or　in　the
garden？〃

〃Some　wud　doobtless　hae　dist　laid　to　dist　i'　the　kirkyard；　but　I
wudna　wullin'ly　raise　a　clash　i'　the　country…side。　Them　that　did　it
was　yer　ain　forbeirs；　my　leddy；　an'　sic　things　are　weel　forgotten。
An'　syne　what　wud　the　earl　say？　It　micht　upset　him　mair　nor　a　bit！
I'll　consider　o'　't。〃

Donal　accompanied　them　to　the　door　of　the　chamber　which　again　they
shared；　and　then　betook　himself　to　his　own　high　nest。　There　more
than　once　in　what　remained　of　the　night；　he　woke；　fancying　he　heard
the　ghost…music　sounding　its　coronach　over　the　dead　below。




CHAPTER　LVIII。

A　SOUL　DISEASED。

〃Papa　is　very　ill　to…day；　Simmons　tells　me；〃　said　Davie；　as　Donal
entered　the　schoolroom。　〃He　says　he　has　never　seen　him　so　ill。　Oh；
Mr。　Grant；　I　hope　he　is　not　going　to　die！〃

〃I　hope　not；〃　returned　Donalnot　very　sure；　he　saw　when　he　thought
about　it；　what　he　meant；　for　if　there　was　so　little　hope　of　his
becoming　a　true　man　on　this　side　of　some　awful　doom；　why　should　he
hope　for　his　life　here？

〃I　wish　you　would　talk　to　him　as　you　do　to　me；　Mr。　Grant！〃　resumed
Davie；　who　thought　what　had　been　good　for　himself　must　be　good　for
everybody。

Of　late　the　boy　had　been　more　than　usual　with　his　father；　and　he　may
have　dropped　some　word　that　turned　his　father's　thoughts　toward
Donal　and　his　ways　of　thinking：　however　weak　the　earl's　will；　and
however　dull　his　conscience；　his　mind　was　far　from　being　inactive。
In　the　afternoon　the　butler　brought　a　message　that　his　lordship
would　be　glad　to　see　Mr。　Grant　when　school　was　over。

Donal　found　the　earl　very　weak；　but　more　like　a　live　man；　he
thought；　than　he　had　yet　seen　him。　He　pointed　to　a　seat；　and　began
to　talk　in　a　way　that　considerably　astonished　the　tutor。

〃Mr。　Grant；〃　he　began；　with　not　a　little　formality；　〃I　have　known
you　long　enough　to　believe　I　know　you　really。　Now　I　find　myself；
partly　from　the　peculiarity　of　my　constitution；　partly　from　the
state　of　my　health；　partly　from　the　fact　that　my　views　do　not
coincide　with　those　of　the　church　of　Scotland；　and　there　is　no
episcopal　clergyman　within　reach　of　the　castleI　find　myself；　I
say；　for　these　reasons；　desirous　of　some　conversation　with　you；　more
for　the　sake　of　identifying　my　own　opinions；　than　in　the　hope　of
receiving　from　you　what　it　would　be　unreasonable　to　expect　from　one
of　your　years。〃

Donal　held　his　peace；　the　very　power　of　speech　seemed　taken　from
him：　he　had　no　confidence　in　the　man；　and　nothing　so　quenches　speech
as　lack　of　faith。　But　the　earl　had　no　idea　of　this　distrust；　never　a
doubt　of　his　listener's　readiness　to　take　any　position　he　required
him　to　take。　Experience　had　taught　him　as　little　about　Donal　as
about　his　own　real　self。

〃I　have　long　been　troubled；〃　continued　his　lordship　after　a
momentary　pause；　〃with　a　question　of　which　one　might　think　the　world
must　by　this　time　be　wearywhich　yet　has；　and　always　will　have；
extraordinary　fascination　for　minds　of　a　certain　sortof　which　my
own　is　one：　it　is　the　question　of　the　freedom　of　the　will：how　far
is　the　will　free？　or　how　far　can　it　be　called　free；　consistently
with　the　notion　of　a　God　over　all？〃

He　paused；　and　Donal　sat　silentso　long　that　his　lordship　opened
the　eyes　which；　the　better　to　enjoy　the　process　of　sentence…making；
he　had　kept　shut；　and　half　turned　his　head　towards　him：　he　had　begun
to　doubt　whether　he　was　really　by　his　bedside；　or　but　one　of　his
many　visions　undistinguishable　by　him　from　realities。　Re…assured　by
the　glance；　he　resumed。

〃I　cannot；　of　course；　expect　from　you　such　an　exhaustive　and　formed
opinion　as　from　an　older　man　who　had　made　metaphysics　his　business；
and　acquainted　himself　with　all　that　had　been　said　upon　the　subject；
at　the　same　time　you　must　have　expended　a　considerable　amount　of
thought　on　these　matters！〃

He　talked　in　a　quiet；　level　manner；　almost　without　inflection；　and
with　his　eyes　again　closedvery　much　as　if　he　were　reading　a　book
inside　him。

〃I　have　had　a　good　deal；〃　he　went　on；　〃to　shake　my　belief　in　the
common　ideas　on　such　points。Do　you　believe　there　is　such　a　thing
as　free　will？〃

He　ceased；　awaiting　the　answer　which　Donal　felt　far　from　prepared　to
give　him。

〃My　lord；〃　he　said　at　length；　〃what　I　believe；　I　do　not　feel
capable；　at　a　moment's　notice；　of　setting　forth；　neither　do　I　think；
however　unavoidable　such　discussions　may　be　in　the　forum　of　one's
own　thoughts；　that　they　are　profitable　between　men。　I　think　such
questions；　if　they　are　to　be　treated　at　all　between　man　and　man；　and
not　between　God　and　man　only；　had　better　be　discussed　in　print；
where　what　is　said　is　in　some　measure　fixed；　and　can　with　a　glance
be　considered　afresh。　But　not　so　either　do　I　think　they　can　be
discussed　to　any　profit。〃

〃What　do　you　mean？　Surely　this　question　is　of　the　first　importance
to　humanity！〃

〃I　grant　it；　my　lord；　if　by　humanity　you　mean　the　human　individual。
But　my　meaning　is；　that　there　are　many　questions；　and　this　one；　that
can　be　tested　better　than　argued。〃

〃You　seem　fond　of　paradox！〃

〃I　will　speak　as　directly　as　I　can：　such　questions　are　to　be
answered　only　by　the　moral　nature；　which　first　and　almost　only　they
concern；　and　the　moral　nature　operates　in　action；　not　discussion。〃

〃Do　I　not　then；〃　said　his　lordship；　the　faintest　shadow　of
indignation　in　his　tone；　〃bring　my　moral　nature　to　bear　on　a
question　which　I　consider　from　the　ground　of　duty？〃

〃No；　my　lord；〃　answered　Donal；　with　decision；　〃you　bring　nothing　but
your　intellectual　nature　to　bear　on　it　so；　the　moral　nature；　I
repeat；　operates　only　in　action。　To　come　to　the　point　in　hand：　the
sole　way　for　a　man　to　know　he　has　freedom　is　to　do　something　he
ought　to　do；　which　he　would　rather　not　do。　He　may　strive　to　acquaint
himself　with　the　facts　concerning　will；　and　spend　himself　imagining
its　mode　of　working；　yet　all　the　time　not　know　whether　he　has　any
will。〃

〃But　how　am　I　to　put　a　force　in　operation；　while　I　do　not　know
whether　I　possess　it　or　not？〃

〃By　putting　it　in　operationthat　alone；　by　being　alive；　by　doing
the　next　thing　you　ought　to　do；　or　abstaining　from　the　next　thing
you　are　tempted　to；　knowing　you　ought　not　to　do　it。　It　sounds
childish；　and　most　people　set　action　aside　as　what　will　do　any　time；
and　try　first　to　settle　questions　which　never　can　be　settled　but　in
just　this　divinely　childish　way。　For　not　merely　is　it　the　only　way
in　which　a　man　can　know　whether　he　has　a　free　will；　but　the　man　has
in　fact　no　will　at　all　unless　it　comes　into　being　in　such　action。〃

〃Suppose　he　found　he　had　no　will；　for　he　could　not　do　what　he
wished？〃

〃What　he　ought；　I　said；　my　lord。〃

〃Well；　what　he　ought；〃　yielded　the　earl　almost　angrily。

〃He　could　not　find　it　proved　that　he　had　no　faculty　for　generating　a
free　will。　He　might　indeed　doubt　it　the　more；　but　the　positive　only；
not　the　negative；　can　be　proved。〃

〃Where　would　be　the　satisfaction　if　he　could　only　prove　the　one
thing　and　not　the　other。〃

〃The　truth　alone　can　be　proved；　my　lord；　how　should　a　lie　be　proved？
The　man　that　wanted　to　prove　he　had　no　freedom　of　will；　would　find
no　satisfaction　from　his　testand　the　less　the　more　honest　he　was；
but　the　man　anxious　about　the　dignity　of　the　nature　given　him；　would
find　every　needful　satisfaction　in　the　progress　of　his　obedience。〃

〃How　can　there　be　free　will　where　the　first　thing　demanded　for　its
existence　or　knowledge　of　itself　is　obedience？〃

〃There　is　no　free　will　save　in　resisting　what　one　would　like；　and
doing　what　the　Truth　would　have　him　do。　It　is　true　the　man's　liking
and　the　truth　may　coincide；　but　therein　he　will　not　learn　his
freedom；　though　in　such　coincidence　he　will　always　thereafter　find
it；　and　in　such　coincidence　alone；　for　freedom　is　harmony　with　the
originating　law　of　one's　existence。〃

〃That's　dreary　doctrine。〃

〃My　lord；　I　have　spent　no　little　time　and　thought　on　the　subject；
and　the　result　is　some　sort　of　practical　clearness　to　myself；　but；
were　it　possible；　I　should　not　care　to　make　it　clear　to　another　save
by　persuading　him　to　arrive　at　the　same　conviction　by　the　same
paththat；　namely；　of　doing　the　thing　required　of　him。〃

〃Required　of　him　by　what？〃

〃By　any　one；　any　thing；　any　thought；　with　which　can　go　the　word
required　byanything　that　carries　right　in　its　demand。　If　a　man
does　not　do　the　thing　which　the　very　notion　of　a　free　will　requires；
what　in　earth；　heaven；　or　hell；　would　be　the　use　of　his　knowing　all
about　the　will？　But　it　is　impossible　he　should　know　anything。〃

〃You　are　a　bold　preacher！〃　said　the　earl。　〃Suppose　now　a　man　was
unconscious　of　any　ability　to　do　the　thing　required　of　him？〃

〃I　should　say　there　was　the　more　need　he　should　do　the　thing。〃

〃That　is　nonsense。〃

〃If　it　be　nonsense；　the　nonsense　lies　in　the　supposition　that　a　man
can　be　conscious　of　not　possessing　a　power；　he　can　only　be　not
conscious　of　possessing　it；　and　that　is　a　very　different　thing。　How
is　a　power　to　be　known　but　by　being　a　power；　and　how　is　it　to　be　a
power　but　in　its　own　exercise　of　itself？　There　is　more　in　man　than
he　can　at　any　given　moment　be　conscious　of；　there　is　life；　the　power
of　the　eternal　behind　his　consciousness；　which　only　in　action　can　he
make　his　own；　of　which；　therefore；　only　in　action；　that　is
obedience；　can　he　become　conscious；　for　then　only　is　it　his。〃

〃You　are　splitting　a　hair！〃

〃If　the　only　way　to　life　lay　through　a　hair；　what　must　you　do　but
split　it？　The　fact；　however；　is；　that　he　who　takes　the　live　sphere
of　truth　for　a　flat　intellectual　disc；　may　well　take　the　disc's　edge
for　a　hair。〃

〃Come；　come！　how　does　all　this　apply　to　mea　man　who　would　really
like　to　make　up　his　mind　about　the　thing；　and　is　not　at　the　moment
aware　of　any　very　pressing　duty　that　he　is　neglecting　to　do？〃

〃Is　your　lordship　not　aware　of　some　not　very　pressing　duty　that　you
are　neglecting　to　do？　Some　duties　need　but　to　be　acknowledged　by　the
smallest　amount　of　action；　to　become　paramount　in　their　demands　upon
us。〃

〃That　is　the　worst　of　it！〃　murmured　the　earl。　〃I　refuse；　I　avoid
such　acknowledgment！　Who　knows　whither　it　might　carry　me；　or　what　it
might　not　go　on　to　demand　of　me！〃

He　spoke　like　one　unaware　that　he　spoke。

〃Yes；　my　lord；〃　said　Donal；　〃that　is　how　most　men　treat　the　greatest
things！　The　devil　blinds　us　that　he　may　guide　us！〃

〃The　devil！bah！〃　cried　his　lordship；　glad　to　turn　at　right　angles
from　the　path　of　the　conversation；　〃you　don't　surely　believe　in　that
legendary　personage？〃

〃He　who　does　what　the　devil　would　have　him　do；　is　the　man　who
believes　in　him；　not　he　who　does　not　care　whether　he　is　or　not；　so
long　as　he　avoids　doing　his　works。　If　there　be　such　a　one；　his　last
thought　must　be　to　persuade　men　of　his　existence！　He　is　a　subject　I
do　not　care　to　discuss；　he　is　not　very　interesting　to　me。　But　if
your　lordship　now　would　but　overcome　the　habit　of　depending　on
medicine；　you　would　soon　find　out　that　you　had　a　free　will。〃

His　lordship　scowled　like　a　thunder…cloud。

〃I　am　certain；　my　lord；〃　added　Donal；　〃that　the　least　question　asked
by　the　will　itself；　will　bring　an　answer；　a　thousand　asked　by　the
intellect；　will　bring　nothing。〃

〃I　did　not　send　for　you　to　act　the　part　of　father　confes