penguin island-第27章

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as　long　as　the　established　jurisdiction　will　order　me　to　believe　in　it；　for　it　is　not　for　a　private　person　but　for　a　judge　to　proclaim　the　innocence　of　a　convicted　person。　Human　justice　is　venerable　even　in　the　errors　inherent　in　its　fallible　and　limited　nature。　These　errors　are　never　irreparable；　if　the　judges　do　not　repair　them　on　earth；　God　will　repair　them　in　Heaven。　Besides　I　have　great　confidence　in　general　Greatauk；　who；　though　he　certainly　does　not　look　it；　seems　to　me　to　be　an　abler　man　than　all　those　who　are　attacking　him。〃

〃Dearest　Cornemuse；〃　cried　the　pious　Agaric；　〃the　Pyrot　affair；　if　pushed　to　the　point　whither　we　can　lead　it　by　the　help　of　God　and　the　necessary　funds；　will　produce　the　greatest　benefits。　It　will　lay　bare　the　vices　of　this　Anti…Christian　Republic　and　will　incline　the　Penguins　to　restore　the　throne　of　the　Draconides　and　the　prerogatives　of　the　Church。　But　to　do　that　it　is　necessary　for　the　people　to　see　the　clergy　in　the　front　rank　of　its　defenders。　Let　us　march　against　the　enemies　of　the　army；　against　those　who　insult　our　heroes；　and　everybody　will　follow　us。〃

〃Everybody　will　be　too　many；〃　murmured　the　monk　of　Conils；　shaking　his　head。　〃I　see　that　the　Penguins　want　to　quarrel。　If　we　mix　ourselves　up　in　their　quarrel　they　will　become　reconciled　at　our　expense　and　we　shall　have　to　pay　the　cost　of　the　war。　That　is　why；　if　you　are　guided　by　me；　dear　Agaric；　you　will　not　engage　the　Church　in　this　adventure。〃

〃You　know　my　energy；　you　know　my　prudence。　I　will　compromise　nothing。　。　。　。　Dear　Cornemuse；　I　only　want　from　you　the　funds　necessary　for　us　to　begin　the　campaign。〃

For　a　long　time　Cornemuse　refused　to　bear　the　expenses　of　what　he　thought　was　a　fatal　enterprise。　Agaric　was　in　turn　pathetic　and　terrible。　At　last；　yielding　to　his　prayers　and　threats；　Cornemuse；　with　banging　head　and　swinging　arms；　went　to　the　austere　cell　that　concealed　his　evangelical　poverty。　In　the　whitewashed　wall　under　a　branch　of　blessed　box；　there　was　fixed　a　safe。　He　opened　it；　and　with　a　sigh　took　out　a　bundle　of　bills　which；　with　hesitating　hands；　he　gave　to　the　pious　Agaric。

〃Do　not　doubt　it；　dear　Cornemuse；〃　said　the　latter；　thrusting　the　papers　into　the　pocket　of　his　overcoat；　〃this　Pyrot　affair　has　been　sent　us　by　God　for　the　glory　and　exaltation　of　the　Church　of　Penguinia。〃

〃I　pray　that　you　may　be　right！〃　sighed　the　monk　of　Conils。

And；　left　alone　in　his　laboratory；　he　gazed；　through　his　exquisite　eyes；　with　an　ineffable　sadness　at　his　stoves　and　his　retorts。



VI。　THE　SEVEN　HUNDRED　PYROTISTS

The　seven　hundred　Pyrotists　inspired　the　public　with　an　increasing　aversion。　Every　day　two　or　three　of　them　were　beaten　to　death　in　the　streets。　One　of　them　was　publicly　whipped；　another　thrown　into　the　river；　a　third　tarred　and　feathered　and　led　through　a　laughing　crowd；　a　fourth　had　his　nose　cut　off　by　a　captain　of　dragoons。　They　did　not　dare　to　show　themselves　at　their　clubs；　at　tennis；　or　at　the　races；　they　put　on　a　disguise　when　they　went　to　the　Stock　Exchange。　In　these　circumstances　the　Prince　des　Boscenos　thought　it　urgent　to　curb　their　audacity　and　repress　their　insolence。　For　this　purpose　he　joined　with　Count　Clena；　M。　de　La　Trumelle；　Viscount　Olive；　and　M。　Bigourd　in　founding　a　great　anti…Pyrotist　association　to　which　citizens　in　hundreds　of　thousands；　soldiers　in　companies；　regiments；　brigades；　divisions；　and　army　corps；　towns；　districts；　and　provinces；　all　gave　their　adhesion。

About　this　time　the　Minister　of　War　happening　to　visit　one　day　his　Chief　of　Staff；　saw　with　surprise　that　the　large　room　where　General　Panther　worked；　which　was　formerly　quite　bare；　had　now　along　each　wall　from　floor　to　ceiling　in　sets　of　deep　pigeon…holes；　triple　and　quadruple　rows　of　paper　bundles　of　every　as　form　and　colour。　These　sudden　and　monstrous　records　had　in　a　few　days　reached　the　dimensions　of　a　pile　of　archives　such　as　it　takes　centuries　to　accumulate。

〃What　is　this？〃　asked　the　astonished　minister。

〃Proofs　against　Pyrot；〃　answered　General　Panther　with　patriotic　satisfaction。　〃We　had　not　got　them　when　we　convicted　him；　but　we　have　plenty　of　them　now。〃

The　door　was　open；　and　Greatauk　saw　coming　up　the　stair…case　a　long　file　of　porters　who　were　unloading　heavy　bales　of　papers　in　the　hall；　and　he　saw　the　lift　slowly　rising　heavily　loaded　with　paper　packets。

〃What　are　those　others？〃　said　he。

〃They　are　fresh　proofs　against　Pyrot　that　are　now　reaching　us；〃　said　Panther。　〃I　have　asked　for　them　in　every　county　of　Penguinia；　in　every　Staff　Office　and　in　every　Court　in　Europe。　I　have　ordered　them　in　every　town　in　America　and　in　Australia；　and　in　every　factory　in　Africa；　and　I　am　expecting　bales　of　them　from　Bremen　and　a　ship…load　from　Melbourne。〃　And　Panther　turned　towards　the　Minister　of　War　the　tranquil　and　radiant　look　of　a　hero。　However；　Greatauk；　his　eye…glass　in　his　eye；　was　looking　at　the　formidable　pile　of　papers　with　less　satisfaction　than　uneasiness。

〃Very　good；〃　said　he；　〃very　good！　but　I　am　afraid　that　this　Pyrot　business　may　lose　its　beautiful　simplicity。　It　was　limpid；　like　a　rock…crystal　its　value　lay　in　its　transparency。　You　could　have　searched　it　in　vain　with　a　magnifying…glass　for　a　straw；　a　bend；　a　blot；　for　the　least　fault。　When　it　left　my　hands　it　was　as　pure　as　the　light。　Indeed　it　was　the　light。　I　give　you　a　pearl　and　you　make　a　mountain　out　of　it。　To　tell　you　the　truth　I　am　afraid　that　by　wishing　to　do　too　well　you　have　done　less　well。　Proofs！　of　course　it　is　good　to　have　proofs；　but　perhaps　it　is　better　to　have　none　at　all。　I　have　already　told　you；　Panther；　there　is　only　one　irrefutable　proof；　the　confession　of　the　guilty　person　（or　if　the　innocent　what　matter！）。　The　Pyrot　affair；　as　I　arranged　it；　left　no　room　for　criticism；　there　was　no　spot　where　it　could　be　touched。　It　defied　assault。　t　was　invulnerable　because　it　was　invisible。　Now　it　gives　an　enormous　handle　for　discussion。　I　advise　you；　Panther；　to　use　your　paper　packets　with　great　reserve。　I　should　be　particularly　grateful　if　you　would　be　more　sparing　of　your　communications　to　journalists。　You　speak　well；　but　you　say　too　much。　Tell　me；　Panther；　are　there　any　forged　documents　among　these？〃

〃There　are　some　adapted　ones。〃

〃That　is　what　I　meant。　There　are　some　adapted　ones。　So　much　the　better。　As　proofs；　forged　documents；　in　general；　are　better　than　genuine　ones；　first　of　all　because　they　have　been　expressly　made　to　suit　the　needs　of　the　case；　to　order　and　measure；　and　therefore　they　are　fitting　and　exact。　They　are　also　preferable　because　they　carry　the　mind　into　an　ideal　world　and　turn　it　aside　from　the　reality　which；　alas！　in　this　world　is　never　without　some　alloy。　。　。　。　Nevertheless；　I　think　I　should　have　preferred；　Panther；　that　we　had　no　proofs　at　all。〃

The　first　act　of　the　Anti…Pyrotist　Association　was　to　ask　the　Government　immediately　to　summon　the　seven　hundred　Pyrotists　and　their　accomplices　before　the　High　Court　of　Justice　as　guilty　of　high　treason。　Prince　des　Boscenos　was　charged　to　speak　on　behalf　of　the　Association　and　presented　himself　before　the　Council　which　had　assembled　to　hear　him。　He　expressed　a　hope　that　the　vigilance　and　firmness　of　the　Government　would　rise　to　the　height　of　the　occasion。　He　shook　hands　with　each　of　the　ministers　and　as　he　passed　General　Greatauk　he　whispered　in　his　ear：

〃Behave　properly；　you　ruffian；　or　I　will　publish　the　Maloury　dossier！〃

Some　days　later　by　a　unanimous　vote　of　both　Houses；　on　a　motion　proposed　by　the　Government；　the　Anti…Pyrotist　Association　was　granted　a　charter　recognising　it　as　beneficial　to　the　public　interest。

The　Association　immediately　sent　a　deputation　to　Chitterlings　Castle　in　Porpoisia；　where　Crucho　was　eating　the　bitter　bread　of　exile；　to　assure　the　prince　of　the　love　and　devotion　of　the　Anti…Pyrotist　members。

However；　the　Pyrotists　grew　in　numbers；　and　now　counted　ten　thousand。　They　had　their　regular　cafes　on　the　boulevards。　The　patriots　had　theirs　also；　richer　and　bigger；　and　every　evening　glasses　of　beer；　saucers；　match…stands；　jugs；　chairs；　and　tables　were　hurled　from　one　to　the　other。　Mirrors　were　smashed　to　bits；　and　the　police　ended　the　struggles　by　impartially　trampling　the　combatants　of　both　parties　under　their　hob…nailed　shoes。

On　one　of　these　glorious　nights；　as　Prince　des　Boscenos　was　leaving　a　fashionable　cafe　in　the　company　of　some　patriots；　M。　de　La　Trumelle　pointed　out　to　him　a　little；　bearded　man　with　glasses；　hatless；　and　having　only　one　sleeve　to　his　coat；　who　was　painfully　dragging　himself　along　the　rubbish…strewn　pavement。

〃Look！〃　said　he；　〃there　is　Colomban！〃

The　prince　had　gentleness　as　well　as　strength；　he　was　exceedingly　mild；　but　at　the　name　of　Colomban　his　blood　boiled。　He　rushed　at　the　little　spectacled　man；　and　knocked　him　down　with　one　blow　of　his　fist　on　the　nose。

M。　de　La　Trumelle　then　perceived　that；　misled　by　an　undeserved　resemblance；　he　had　mistaken　for　Colomban；　M。　Bazile；　a　retired　lawyer；　the　secretary　of　the　Anti…pyrotist　Association；　and　an　ardent　and　generous　patriot。　Prince　des　Boscenos　was　one　of　those　antique　souls　who　never　bend。　However；　he　knew　how　to　recognise　his　faults。

〃M。　Bazile；〃　said　he；　raising　his　hat；　〃if　I　have　touched　your　face　with　my　hand　you　will　excuse　me　and　you　will　understand　me；　you　will　approve　of　me；　nay；　you　will　compliment　me；　you　will　congratulate　me　and　felicitate　me；　when　you　know　the　cause　of　that　act。　I　took　you　for　Colomban。〃

M。　Bazile；　wiping　his　bleeding　nostrils　with　his　handkerchief　and　displaying　an　elbow　laid　bare　by　the　absence　of　his　sleeve：

〃No；　sir；〃　answered　he　drily；　〃I　shall　not　felicitate　you；　I　shall　not　congratulate　you；　I　shall　not　compliment　you；　for　your　action　was；　at　the　very　least；　superfluous；　it　was；　I　will　even　say；　supererogatory。　Already　this　evening　I　have　been　three　times　mistaken　for　Colomban　and　received　a　sufficient　amount　of　the　treatment　he　deserves。　The　patriots　have　knocked　in　my　ribs　and　broken　my　back；　and；　sir；　I　was　of　opinion　that　that　was　enough。〃

Scarcely　had　he　finished　this　speech　than　a　band　of　Pyrotists　appeared；　and　misled　in　their　turn　by　that　insidious　resemblance；　they　believed　that　the　patriots　were　killing　Colomban。　They　fell　on　Prince　des　Boscenos　and　his　companions　with　loaded　canes　and　leather　thongs；　and　left　them　for　dead。　Then　seizing　Bazile　they　carried　him　in　triumph；　and　in　spite　of　his　protests；　along　the　boulevards；　amid　cries　of：　〃Hurrah　for　Colomban！　Hurrah　for　Pyrot！〃　At　last　the　police；　who　had　been　sent　after　them；　attacked　and　defeated　them　and　dragged　them　ignominiously　to　the　station；　where　Bazile；　under　the　name　of　Colomban；　was　trampled　on　by　an　innumerable　quantity　of　thick；　hob…nailed　shoes。



VII。　BIDAULT…COQUILLE　AND　MANIFLORE；　THE　SOCIALISTS

Whilst　the　wind　of　anger　and　hatred　blew　in　Alca；　Eugine　Bidault…　Coquille；　poorest　and　happiest　of　astronomers；　installed　in　an　old　steam…engine　of　the　time　of　the　Draconides；　was　observing　the　heavens　through　a　bad　telescope；　and　photographing　the　paths　of　the　meteors　upon　some　damaged　photographic　plates。　His　genius　corrected　the　errors　of　his　instruments　and　his　love　of　science　triumphed　over　the　worthlessness　of　his　apparatus。　With　an　inextinguishable　ardour　he　observed　aerolites；　meteors；　and　fire…balls；　and　all　the　gl