the crime of sylvestre bonnard-第20章

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Then　she　suddenly　left　the　room；　gliding　like　a　shadow　over　the　polished　floor。

I　said　to　Jeanne；

〃Sit　down；　Jeanne；　and　talk　to　me　as　you　would　to　a　friend。　　Are　you　not　better　satisfied　here　now　than　you　were　last　year？〃

She　hesitated；　then　answered　with　a　good…natured　smile　of　resignation；

〃Not　much　better。〃

I　asked　her　to　tell　me　about　her　school　life。　　She　began　at　once　to　enumerate　all　her　different　studiespiano；　style；　chronology　of　the　Kings　of　France；　sewing；　drawing；　catechism；　deportment。。。　　I　could　never　remember　them　all！　　She　still　held　in　her　hands；　all　unconsciously；　the　two　ends　of　her　skipping…rope；　and　she　raised　and　lowered　them　regularly　while　making　her　enumeration。　　Then　all　at　once　she　became　conscious　of　what　she　was　doing；　blushed；　stammered；　and　became　so　confused　that　I　had　to　renounce　my　desire　to　know　the　full　programme　of　study　adopted　in　the　Prefere　Institution。

After　having　questioned　Jeanne　on　various　matters；　and　obtained　only　the　vaguest　of　answers；　I　perceived　that　her　young　mind　was　totally　absorbed　by　the　skipping…rope；　and　I　entered　bravely　into　that　grave　subject。

〃So　you　have　been　skipping？〃　I　said。　　〃It　is　a　very　nice　amusement；　but　one　that　you　must　not　exert　yourself　too　much　at；　for　any　excessive　exercise　of　that　kind　might　seriously　injure　your　health；　and　I　should　be　very　much　grieved　about　it　JeanneI　should　be　very　much　grieved；　indeed！〃

〃You　are　very　kind；　Monsieur；〃　the　young　girl　said；　〃to　have　come　to　see　me　and　talk　to　me　like　this。　　I　did　not　think　about　thanking　you　when　I　came　in；　because　I　was　too　much　surprised。　　Have　you　seen　Madame　de　Gabry？　　Please　tell　me　something　about　her；　Monsieur。〃

〃Madame　de　Gabry；〃　I　answered；　〃is　very　well。　　I　can　only　tell　you　about　her；　Jeanne；　what　an　old　gardener　once　said　of　the　lady　of　the　castle；　his　mistress；　when　somebody　anxiously　inquired　about　her：　'Madame　is　in　her　road。'　　Yes；　Madame　de　Gabry　is　in　her　own　road；　and　you　know；　Jeanne；　what　a　good　road　it　is；　and　how　steadily　she　can　walk　upon　it。　　I　went　out　with　her　the　other　day；　very；　very　far　away　from　the　house；　and　we　talked　about　you。　　We　talked　about　you；　my　child；　at　your　mother's　grave。〃

〃I　am　very　glad；〃　said　Jeanne。

And　then；　all　at　once；　she　began　to　cry。

I　felt　too　much　reverence　for　those　generous　tears　to　attempt　in　any　way　to　check　the　emotion　that　had　evoked　them。　　But　in　a　little　while；　as　the　girl　wiped　her　eyes；　I　asked　her；

〃Will　you　not　tell　me；　Jeanne；　why　you　were　thinking　so　much　about　that　skipping…rope　a　little　while　ago？〃

〃Why；　indeed　I　will；　Monsieur。　　It　was　only　because　I　had　no　right　to　come　into　the　parlour　with　a　skipping…rope。　　You　know；　of　course；　that　I　am　past　the　age　for　playing　at　skipping。　　But　when　the　servant　said　there　was　an　old　gentleman。。。oh！。。。I　mean。。。that　a　gentleman　was　waiting　for　me　in　the　parlour；　I　was　making　the　little　girls　jump。　　Then　I　tied　the　rope　round　my　waist　in　a　hurry；　so　that　it　might　not　get　lost。　　It　was　wrong。　　But　I　have　not　been　in　the　habit　of　having　many　people　come　to　see　me。　　And　Mademoiselle　Prefere　never　lets　us　off　if　we　commit　any　breach　of　deportment：　　so　I　know　she　is　going　to　punish　me；　and　I　am　very　sorry　about　it。〃。。。

〃That　is　too　bad；　Jeanne！〃

She　became　very　grave；　and　said；

〃Yes；　Monsieur；　it　is　too　bad；　because　when　I　am　punished　myself；　I　have　no　more　authority　over　the　little　girls。〃

I　did　not　at　once　fully　understand　the　nature　of　this　unpleasantness；　but　Jeanne　explained　to　me　that；　as　she　was　charged　by　Mademoiselle　Prefere　with　the　duties　of　taking　care　of　the　youngest　class；　of　washing　and　dressing　the　children；　of　teaching　them　how　to　behave；　how　to　sew；　how　to　say　the　alphabet；　of　showing　them　how　to　play；　and；　finally；　of　putting　them　to　bed　at　the　close　of　the　day；　she　could　not　make　herself　obeyed　by　those　turbulent　little　folks　on　the　days　she　was　condemned　to　wear　a　night…cap　in　the　class…room；　or　to　eat　her　meals　standing　up；　from　a　plate　turned　upside　down。

Having　secretly　admired　the　punishments　devised　by　the　Lady　of　the　Enchanted　Pelerine；　I　responded：

〃Then；　if　I　understand　you　rightly；　Jeanne；　you　are　at　once　a　pupil　here　and　a　mistress？　　It　is　a　condition　of　existence　very　common　in　the　world。　　You　are　punished；　and　you　punish？〃

〃Oh；　Monsieur！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃No！　I　never　punish！〃

〃Then；　I　suspect；〃　said　I；　〃that　your　indulgence　gets　you　many　scoldings　from　Mademoiselle　Prefere？〃

She　smiled；　and　blinked。

Then　I　said　to　her　that　the　troubles　in　which　we　often　involve　ourselves；　by　trying　to　act　according　to　our　conscience　and　to　do　the　best　we　can；　are　never　of　the　sort　that　totally　dishearten　and　weary　us；　but　are；　on　the　contrary；　wholesome　trials。　　This　sort　of　philosophy　touched　her　very　little。　　She　even　appeared　totally　unmoved　by　my　moral　exhortations。　　But　was　not　this　quite　natural　on　her　part？and　ought　I　not　to　have　remembered　that　it　is　only　those　no　longer　innocent　who　can　find　pleasure　in　the　systems　of　moralists？。。。　　I　had　at　least　good　sense　enough　to　cut　short　my　sermonising。

〃Jeanne；〃　I　said；　〃you　were　asking　a　moment　ago　about　Madame　de　Gabry。　　Let　us　talk　about　that　Fairy　of　yours　　She　was　very　prettily　made。　　Do　you　do　any　modelling　in　wax　now？〃

〃I　have　not　a　bit　of　wax；〃　she　exclaimed；　wringing　her　hands〃no　wax　at　all！〃

〃No　wax！〃　I　cried〃in　a　republic　of　busy　bees？〃

She　laughed。

〃And；　then；　you　see；　Monsieur；　my　FIGURINES；　as　you　call　them；　are　not　in　Mademoiselle　Prefere's　programme。　　But　I　had　begun　to　make　a　very　small　Saint…George　for　Madame　de　Gabrya　tiny　little　Saint…George；　with　a　golden　cuirass。　　Is　not　that　right；　Monsieur　Bonnardto　give　Saint…George　a　gold　cuirass？〃

〃Quite　right；　Jeanne；　but　what　became　of　it？〃

〃I　am　going　to　tell　you；　I　kept　it　in　my　pocket　because　I　had　no　other　place　to　put　it；　andand　I　sat　down　on　it　by　mistake。〃

She　drew　out　of　her　pocket　a　little　wax　figure；　which　had　been　squeezed　out　of　all　resemblance　to　human　form；　and　of　which　the　dislocated　limbs　were　only　attached　to　the　body　by　their　wire　framework。　　At　the　sight　of　her　hero　thus　marred；　she　was　seized　at　once　with　compassion　and　gaiety。　　The　latter　feeling　obtained　the　mastery；　and　she　burst　into　a　clear　laugh；　which；　however；　stopped　as　suddenly　as　it　had　begun。

Mademoiselle　Prefere　stood　at　the　parlour　door；　smiling。

〃That　dear　child！〃　sighed　the　schoolmistress　in　her　tenderest　tone。　〃I　am　afraid　she　will　tire　you。　　And；　then；　your　time　is　so　precious！〃

I　begged　Mademoiselle　Prefere　to　dismiss　that　illusion；　and；　rising　to　take　my　leave；　I　took　from　my　pocket　some　chocolate…cakes　and　sweets　which　I　had　brought　with　me。

〃That　is　so　nice！〃　said　Jeanne；　〃there　will　be　enough　to　go　round　the　whole　school。〃

The　lady　of　the　pelerine　intervened。

〃Mademoiselle　Alexandre；〃　she　said；　〃thank　Monsieur　for　his　generosity。〃

Jeanne　looked　at　her　for　an　instant　in　a　sullen　way；　then；　turning　to　me；　said　with　remarkable　firmness；

〃Monsieur；　I　thank　you　for　your　kindness　in　coming　to　see　me。〃

〃Jeanne；〃　I　said；　pressing　both　her　hands；　〃remain　always　a　good；　truthful；　brave　girl。　　Good…bye。〃

As　she　left　the　room　with　her　packages　of　chocolate　and　confectionery；　she　happened　to　strike　the　handles　of　her　skipping…　rope　against　the　back　of　a　chair。　　Mademoiselle　Prefere；　full　of　indignation；　pressed　both　hands　over　her　heart；　under　her　pelerine；　and　I　almost　expected　to　see　her　give　up　her　scholastic　ghost。

When　we　found　ourselves　alone；　she　recovered　her　composure；　and　I　must　say；　without　considering　myself　thereby　flattered；　that　she　smiled　upon　me　with　one　whole　side　of　her　face。

〃Mademoiselle；〃　I　said；　taking　advantage　of　her　good　humour；　〃I　noticed　that　Jeanne　Alexandre　looks　a　little　pale。　　You　know　better　than　I　how　much　consideration　and　care　a　young　girl　requires　at　her　age。　　It　would　only　be　doing　you　an　injustice　by　implication　to　recommend　her　still　more　earnestly　to　your　vigilance。〃

These　words　seemed　to　ravish　her　with　delight。　　She　lifted　her　eyes；　as　in　ecstasy；　to　the　paper　spirals　of　the　ceiling；　and；　clasping　her　hands　exclaimed；

〃How　well　these　eminent　men　know　the　art　of　considering　the　most　trifling　details！〃

I　called　her　attention　to　the　fact　that　the　health　of　a　young　girl　was　not　a　trifling　detail；　and　made　my　farewell　bow。　　But　she　stopped　me　on　the　threshold　to　say　to　me；　very　confidentially；

〃You　must　excuse　me；　Monsieur。　　I　am　a　woman；　and　I　love　gloy。　　I　cannot　conceal　from　you　the　fact　that　I　feel　myself　greatly　honoured　by　the　presence　of　a　Member　of　the　Institute　in　my　humble　institution。〃

I　duly　excused　the　weakness　of　Mademoiselle　Prefere；　and；　thinking　only　of　Jeanne；　with　the　blindness　of　egotism；　kept　asking　myself　all　along　the　road；　〃What　are　we　going　to　do　with　this　child？〃


June　3。


I　had　escorted　to　the　Cimetiere　de　Marnes　that　day　a　very　aged　colleague　of　mine　who；　to　use　the　words　of　Goethe；　had　consented　to　die。　　The　great　Goethe；　whose　own　vital　force　was　something　extraordinary；　actually　believed　that　one　never　dies　until　one　really　wants　to　diethat　is　to　say；　when　all　those　energies　which　resist　dissolution；　and　teh　sum　of　which　make　up　life　itself；　have　been　totally　destroyed。　　In　other　words；　he　believed　that　people　only　die　when　it　is　no　longer　possible　for　them　to　live。　　Good！　it　is　merely　a　question　of　properly　understanding　one　another；　and　when　fully　comprehended；　the　magnificent　idea　of　Goethe　only　brings　us　quietly　back　to　the　song　of　La　Palisse。

Well；　my　excellent　colleague　had　consented　to　diethanks　to　several　successive　attacks　of　extremely　persuasive　apoplexythe　last　of　which　proved　unanswerable。　　I　had　been　very　little　acquainted　with　him　during　his　lifetime；　but　it　seems　that　I　became　his　friend　the　moment　he　was　dead；　for　our　colleagues　assured　me　in　a　most　serious　manner；　with　deeply　sympathetic　countenances；　that　I　should　act　as　one　of　the　pall…bearers；　and　deliver　an　address　over　the　tomb。

After　having　read　very　badly　a　short　address　I　had　written　as　well　as　I　couldwhich　is　not　saying　much　for　itI　started　out　for　a　walk　in　the　woods　of　Ville…d'Avray；　and　followed；　without　leaning　too　much　on　the　Captain's　cane；　a　shaded　path　on　which　the　sunlight　fell；　through　foliage；　in　little　discs　of　gold。　　Never　had　the　scent　of　grass　and　fresh　leaves；never　had　the　beauty　of　the　sky　over　the　trees；　and　the　serene　might　of　noble　tree　contours；　so　deeply　affected　my　senses　and　all　my　being；　and　the　pleasure　I　felt　in　that　silence；　broken　only　by　faintest　tinkling　sounds；　was　at　once　of　the　senses　and　of　the　soul。

I　sat　down　in　the　shade　of　the　roadside　under　a　clump　of　young　oaks。　And　there　I　made　a　promise　to　myself　not　to　die；　or　at　least　not　to　consent　to　die；　before　I　should　be　again　able　to　sit　down　under　and　oak；　wherein　the　great　peace　of　the　open　countryI　could　meditate　on　the　nature　of　the　soul　and　the　ultimate　destiny　of　man。　A　bee；　whose　brown　breast…plate　gleamed　in　the　sun　like　armour　of　old　gold；　came　to　light　upon　a　mallow…flower　close　by　medarkly　rich　in　colour；　and　fully　opened　upon　its　tufted　stalk。　　It　was　certainly　not　the　first　time　I　had　witnessed　so　common　an　incident；　but　it　was　the　first　time　that　I　had　watched　it　with　such　comprehensive　and　friendly　curi