philosophy 4-第2章
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they could well afford it。 All three sophomores alike had happened to
choose Philosophy 4 as one of their elective courses; and all alike were
now face to face with the Day of Judgment。 The final examinations had
begun。 Oscar could lay his hand upon his studious heart and await the
Day of Judgment likeI had nearly said a Christian! His notes were
full: Three hundred pages about Zeno and Parmenides and the rest; almost
every word as it had come from the professor's lips。 And his memory was
full; too; flowing like a player's lines。 With the right cue he could
recite instantly: 〃An important application of this principle; with
obvious reference to Heracleitos; occurs in Aristotle; who says〃 He
could do this with the notes anywhere。 I am sure you appreciate Oscar
and his great power of acquiring facts。 So he was ready; like the wise
virgins of parable。 Bertie and Billy did not put one in mind of virgins:
although they had burned considerable midnight oil; it had not been to
throw light upon Philosophy 4。 In them the mere word Heracleitos had
raised a chill no later than yesterday;the chill of the unknown。 They
had not attended the lectures on the 〃Greek bucks。〃 Indeed; profiting
by their privilege of voluntary recitations; they had dropped in but
seldom on Philosophy 4。 These blithe grasshoppers had danced and sung
away the precious storing season; and now that the bleak hour of
examinations was upon them; their waked…up hearts had felt aghast at the
sudden vision of their ignorance。 It was on a Monday noon that this
feeling came fully upon them; as they read over the names of the
philosophers。 Thursday was the day of the examination。 〃Who's
Anaxagoras?〃 Billy had inquired of Bertie。 〃I'll tell you;〃 said
Bertie; 〃if you'll tell me who Epicharmos of Kos was。〃 And upon this
they embraced with helpless laughter。 Then they reckoned up the hours
left for them to learn Epicharmos of Kos in;between Monday noon and
Thursday morning at nine;and their quailing chill increased。 A tutor
must be called in at once。 So the grasshoppers; having money; sought
out and quickly purchased the ant。
Closeted with Oscar and his notes; they had; as Bertie put it; salted
down the early Greek bucks by seven on Monday evening。 By the same
midnight they had; as Billy expressed it; called the turn on Plato。
Tuesday was a second day of concentrated swallowing。 Oscar had taken
them through the thought of many centuries。 There had been
intermissions for lunch and dinner only; and the weather was exceedingly
hot。 The pale…skinned Oscar stood this strain better than the
unaccustomed Bertie and Billy。 Their jovial eyes had grown hollow
to…night; although their minds were going gallantly; as you have
probably noticed。 Their criticisms; slangy and abrupt; struck the
scholastic Oscar as flippancies which he must indulge; since the pay was
handsome。 That these idlers should jump in with doubts and questions
not contained in his sacred notes raised in him feelings betrayed just
once in that remark about 〃orriginal rresearch。〃
〃Nineteneleventwelve;〃 went the little timepiece; and Oscar rose。
〃Gentlemen;〃 he said; closing the sacred notes; 〃we have finished the
causal law。〃
〃That's the whole business except the ego racket; isn't it?〃 said Billy。
〃The duality; or multiplicity of the ego remains;〃 Oscar replied。
〃Oh; I know its name。 It ought to be a soft snap after what we've had。〃
〃Unless it's full of dates and names you've got to know;〃 said Bertie。
〃Don't believe it is;〃 Billy answered。 〃I heard him at it once。〃 (This
meant that Billy had gone to a lecture lately。) 〃It's all about Who am
I? and How do I do it?〃 Billy added。
〃Hm!〃 said Bertie。 〃Hm! Subjective and objective again; I suppose;
only applied to oneself。 You see; that table is objective。 I can stand
off and judge it。 It's outside of me; has nothing to do with me。 That's
easy。 But my opinion ofwell; mywell; anything in my nature〃
〃Anger when it's time to get up;〃 suggested Billy。
〃An excellent illustration;〃 said Bertie。 〃That is subjective in me。
Similar to your dislike of water as a beverage。 That is subjective in
you。 But here comes the twist。 I can think of my own anger and judge
it; just as if it were an outside thing; like a table。 I can compare it
with itself on different mornings or with other people's anger。 And I
trust that you can do the same with your thirst。〃
〃Yes;〃 said Billy; 〃I recognize that it is greater at times and less at
others。〃
〃Very well; There you are。 Duality of the ego。〃
〃Subject and object;〃 said Billy。 〃Perfectly true; and very queer when
you try to think of it。 Wonder how far it goes? Of course; one can
explain the body's being an object to the brain inside it。 That's mind
and matter over again。 But when my own mind and thought; can become
objects to themselvesI wonder how far that does go?〃 he broke off
musingly。 〃What useless stuff!〃 he ended。
〃Gentlemen;〃 said Oscar; who had been listening to them with patient;
Oriental diversion; 〃I〃
〃Oh;〃 said Bertie; remembering him。 〃Look here。 We mustn't keep you
up。 We're awfully obliged for the way you are putting us on to this。
You're saving our lives。 Ten to…morrow for a grand review of the whole
course。〃
〃And the multiplicity of the ego?〃 inquired Oscar。
〃Oh; I forgot。 Well; it's too late tonight。 Is it much? Are there
many dates and names and things?〃
〃It is more of a general inquiry and analysis;〃 replied Oscar。 〃But it
is forty pages of my notes。〃 And he smiled。
〃Well; look here。 It would be nice to have to…morrow clear for
review。 We're not tired。 You leave us your notes and go to bed。〃
Oscar's hand almost moved to cover and hold his precious property; for
this instinct was the deepest in him。 But it did not so move; because
his intelligence controlled his instinct nearly; though not quite;
always。 His shiny little eyes; however; became furtive and
antagonisticsomething the boys did not at first make out。
Oscar gave himself a moment of silence。 〃I could not brreak my rule;〃
said he then。 〃I do not ever leave my notes with anybody。 Mr。
Woodridge asked for my History 3 notes; and Mr。 Bailey wanted my notes
for Fine Arts 1; and I could not let them have them。 If Mr。 Woodridge
was to hear〃
〃But what in the dickens are you afraid of?〃
〃Well; gentlemen; I would rather not。 You would take good care; I know;
but there are sometimes things which happen that we cannot help。 One
time a fire〃
At this racial suggestion both boys made the room joyous with mirth。
Oscar stood uneasily contemplating them。 He would never be able to
understand them; not as long as he lived; nor they him。 When their
mirth Was over he did somewhat better; but it was tardy。 You see; he
was not a specimen of the first rank; or he would have said at once what
he said now: 〃I wish to study my notes a little myself; gentlemen。〃
〃Go along; Oscar; with your inflammable notes; go along!〃 said Bertie;
in supreme good…humor。 〃And we'll meet to…morrow at tenif there
hasn't been a fireBetter keep your notes in the bath; Oscar。〃
In as much haste as could be made with a good appearance; Oscar buckled
his volume in its leather cover; gathered his hat and pencil; and;
bidding his pupils a very good night; sped smoothly out of the room。
III
Oscar Maironi was very poor。 His thin gray suit in summer resembled his
thick gray suit in winter。 It does not seem that he had more than two;
but he had a black coat and waistcoat; and a narrow…brimmed; shiny hat
to go with these; and one pair of patent…leather shoes that laced; and
whose long soles curved upward at the toe like the rockers of a
summer…hotel chair。 These holiday garments served him in all seasons;
and when you saw him dressed in them; and seated in a car bound for Park
Square; you knew he was going into Boston; where he would read
manuscript essays on Botticelli or Pico della Mirandola; or manuscript
translations of Armenian folksongs; read these to ecstatic; dim…eyed
ladies in Newbury Street; who would pour him cups of tea when it was
over; and speak of his earnestness after he was gone。 It did not do the
ladies any harm; but I am not sure that it was the best thing for Oscar。
It helped him feel every day; as he stepped along to recitations with
his elbow clamping his books against his ribs and his heavy black curls
bulging down from his gray slouch hat to his collar; how meritorious he
was compared with Bertie and Billywith all Berties and Billies。 He
may have been。 Who shall say? But I will say at once that chewing the
cud of one's own virtue gives a sour stomach。
Bertie's and Billy's parents owned town and country houses in New York。
The parents of Oscar had come over in the steerage。 Money filled the
pockets of Bertie and Billy; therefore were their heads empty of money
and full of less cramping thoughts。 Oscar had fallen upon the reverse
of this fate。 Calculation was his second nature。 He had given his
education to himself; he had for its sake toiled; traded; outwitted; and
saved。 He had sent himself to college; where most of the hours not
given to education and more education; went to toiling and more toiling;
that he might pay his meagre way through the college world。 He had a
cheaper room and ate cheaper meals than was necessary。 He tutored; and
he wrote college specials for several newspapers。 His chief relaxation
was the praise of the ladies in Newbury Street。 These told him of the
future which awaited him; and when they gazed upon his features were put
in mind of the dying Keats。 Not that Oscar was going to die in the
least。 Life burned strong in him。 There were sly times when he took
what he had saved by his cheap meals and room and went to Boston with
it; and for a few hours thoroughly ceased being ascetic。 Yet Oscar felt
meritorious when he considered Bertie and Billy; for; like the
socialists; merit with him meant not being able to live as well as your
neighbor。 You will think that I have given to Oscar what is familiarly
termed a black eye。 But I was once inclined to applaud his struggle for
knowledge; until I studied him close and perceived that his love was not
for the education he was getting。 Bertie and Billy loved play for
play's own sake; and in play forgot themselves; like the wholesome young
creatures that they were。 Oscar had one love only: through all his days
whatever he might forget; he would remember himself; through all his
days he would make knowledge show that self off。 Thank heaven; all the
poor students in Harvard College were not Oscars! I loved some of them
as much as I loved Bertie and Billy。 So there is no black eye about it。
Pity Oscar; if you like; but don't be so mushy as to admire him as he