the law and the lady-第8章

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〃Benjamin！〃　I　said。　〃This　is　a　strange　coincidence。　Look　here！〃

He　looked　where　I　pointed。　Major　Fitz…David's　address　was　Number
Sixteen　Vivian　Placethe　very　house　which　I　had　seen　my　husband
leaving　as　we　passed　in　the　carriage！


CHAPTER　VII。

ON　THE　WAY　TO　THE　MAJOR。

　〃YES；　said　Benjamin。　〃It　_is_　a　coincidence　certainly。　Still〃

He　stopped　and　looked　at　me。　He　seemed　a　little　doubtful　how　I
might　receive　what　he　had　it　in　his　mind　to　say　to　me　next。

〃Go　on；〃　I　said。

〃Still；　my　dear；　I　see　nothing　suspicious　in　what　has　happened；〃
he　resumed。　〃To　my　mind　it　is　quite　natural　that　your　husband；
being　in　London；　should　pay　a　visit　to　one　of　his　friends。　And
it's　equally　natural　that　we　should　pass　through　Vivian　Place　on
our　way　back　here。　This　seems　to　be　the　reasonable　view。　What　do
_you_　say？〃

〃I　have　told　you　already　that　my　mind　is　in　a　bad　way　about
Eustace；〃　I　answered。　〃_I_　say　there　is　some　motive　at　the　bottom
of　his　visit　to　Major　Fitz…David。　It　is　not　an　ordinary　call。　I
am　firmly　convinced　it　is　not　an　ordinary　call！〃

〃Suppose　we　get　on　with　our　dinner？〃　said　Benjamin；　resignedly。
〃Here　is　a　loin　of　mutton；　my　dearan　ordinary　loin　of　mutton。
Is　there　anything　suspicious　in　_that？_　Very　well；　then。　Show　me
you　have　confidence　in　the　mutton；　please　eat。　There's　the　wine；
again。　No　mystery；　Valeria；　in　that　claretI'll　take　my　oath
it's　nothing　but　innocent　juice　of　the　grape。　If　we　can't　believe
in　anything　else；　let's　believe　in　juice　of　the　grape。　Your　good
health；　my　dear。〃

I　adapted　myself　to　the　old　man's　genial　humor　as　readily　as　I
could。　We　ate　and　we　drank；　and　we　talked　of　by…gone　days。　For　a
little　while　I　was　almost　happy　in　the　company　of　my　fatherly　old
friend。　Why　was　I　not　old　too？　Why　had　I　not　done　with　love；　with
its　certain　miseries；　its　transient　delights；　its　cruel　losses；
its　bitterly　doubtful　gains？　The　last　autumn　flowers　in　the
window　basked　brightly　in　the　last　of　the　autumn　sunlight。
Benjamin's　little　dog　digested　his　dinner　in　perfect　comfort　on
the　hearth。　The　parrot　in　the　next　house　screeched　his　vocal
accomplishments　cheerfully。　I　don't　doubt　that　it　is　a　great
privilege　to　be　a　human　being。　But　may　it　not　be　the　happier
destiny　to　be　an　animal　or　a　plant？

The　brief　respite　was　soon　over；　all　my　anxieties　came　back。　I
was　once　more　a　doubting；　discontented；　depressed　creature　when　I
rose　to　say　good…by。

〃Promise；　my　dear；　you　will　do　nothing　rash；　〃said　Benjamin；　as
he　opened　the　door　for　me。

〃Is　it　rash　to　go　to　Major　Fitz…David？〃　I　asked。

〃Yesif　you　go　by　yourself。　You　don't　know　what　sort　of　man　he
is；　you　don't　know　how　he　may　receive　you。　Let　me　try　first；　and
pave　the　way；　as　the　saying　is。　Trust　my　experience；　my　dear。　In
matters　of　this　sort　there　is　nothing　like　paving　the　way。〃

I　considered　a　moment。　It　was　due　to　my　good　friend　to　consider
before　I　said　No。

Reflection　decided　me　on　taking　the　responsibility；　whatever　it
might　be；　upon　my　own　shoulders。　Good　or　bad；　compassionate　or
cruel；　the　Major　was　a　man。　A　woman's　influence　was　the　safest
influence　to　trust　with　him；　where　the　end　to　be　gained　was　such
an　end　as　I　had　in　view。　It　was　not　easy　to　say　this　to　Benjamin
without　the　danger　of　mortifying　him。　I　made　an　appointment　with
the　old　man　to　call　on　me　the　next　morning　at　the　hotel；　and　talk
the　matter　over　again。　Is　it　very　disgraceful　to　me　to　add　that　I
privately　determined　（if　the　thing　could　be　accomplished）　to　see
Major　Fitz…David　in　the　interval？

〃Do　nothing　rash；　my　dear。　In　your　own　interests；　do　nothing
rash！〃

Those　were　Benjamin's　last　words　when　we　parted　for　the　day。

　I　found　Eustace　waiting　for　me　in　our　sitting…room　at　the　hotel。
His　spirits　seemed　to　have　revived　since　I　had　seen　him　last。　He
advanced　to　meet　me　cheerfully；　with　an　open　sheet　of　paper　in
his　hand。

〃My　business　is　settled；　Valeria；　sooner　than　I　had　expected；〃　he
began；　gayly。　〃Are　your　purchases　all　completed；　fair　lady？　Are
_you_　free　too？〃

I　had　learned　already　（God　help　me！）　to　distrust　his　fits　of
gayety。　I　asked；　cautiously；

〃Do　you　mean　free　for　to…day？〃

〃Free　for　to…day；　and　to…morrow；　and　next　week；　and　next
monthand　next　year　too；　for　all　I　know　to　the　contrary；〃　he
answered；　putting　his　arm　boisterously　round　my　waist。　〃Look
here！〃

He　lifted　the　open　sheet　of　paper　which　I　had　noticed　in　his
hand；　and　held　it　for　me　to　read。　It　was　a　telegram　to　the
sailing…m　aster　of　the　yacht；　informing　him　that　we　had　arranged
to　return　to　Ramsgate　that　evening；　and　that　we　should　be　ready
to　sail　for　the　Mediterranean　with　the　next　tide。

〃I　only　waited　for　your　return；〃　said　Eustace；　〃to　send　the
telegram　to　the　office。〃

He　crossed　the　room　as　he　spoke　to　ring　the　bell。　I　stopped　him。

〃I　am　afraid　I　can't　go　to　Ramsgate　to…day；〃　I　said。

〃Why　not？〃　he　asked；　suddenly　changing　his　tone；　and　speaking
sharply。

I　dare　say　it　will　seem　ridiculous　to　some　people；　but　it　is
really　true　that　he　shook　my　resolution　to　go　to　Major　Fitz…David
when　he　put　his　arm　round　me。　Even　a　mere　passing　caress　from
_him_　stole　away　my　heart；　and　softly　tempted　me　to　yield。　But
the　ominous　alteration　in　his　tone　made　another　woman　of　me。　I
felt　once　more；　and　felt　more　strongly　than　ever；　that　in　my
critical　position　it　was　useless　to　stand　still；　and　worse　than
useless　to　draw　back。

〃I　am　sorry　to　disappoint　you；〃　I　answered。　It　is　impossible　for
me　（as　I　told　you　at　Ramsgate）　to　be　ready　to　sail　at　a　moment's
notice。　I　want　time。〃

〃What　for？〃

Not　only　his　tone；　but　his　look；　when　he　put　that　second
question；　jarred　on　every　nerve　in　me。　He　roused　in　my　mindI
can't　tell　how　or　whyan　angry　sense　of　the　indignity　that　he
had　put　upon　his　wife　in　marrying　her　under　a　false　name。　Fearing
that　I　should　answer　rashly；　that　I　should　say　something　which　my
better　sense　might　regret；　if　I　spoke　at　that　moment；　I　said
nothing。　Women　alone　can　estimate　what　it　cost　me　to　be　silent。
And　men　alone　can　understand　how　irritating　my　silence　must　have
been　to　my　husband。

〃You　want　time？〃　he　repeated。　〃I　ask　you　againwhat　for？〃

My　self…control；　pushed　to　its　extremest　limits；　failed　me。　The
rash　reply　flew　out　of　my　lips；　like　a　bird　set　free　from　a　cage。

〃I　want　time；〃　I　said；　〃to　accustom　myself　to　my　right　name。〃

He　suddenly　stepped　up　to　me　with　a　dark　look。

〃What　do　you　mean　by　your　'right　name？'〃

〃Surely　you　know；〃　I　answered。　〃I　once　thought　I　was　Mrs。
Woodville。　I　have　now　discovered　that　I　am　Mrs。　Macallan。〃

He　started　back　at　the　sound　of　his　own　name　as　if　I　had　struck
himhe　started　back；　and　turned　so　deadly　pale　that　I　feared　he
was　going　to　drop　at　my　feet　in　a　swoon。　Oh；　my　tongue！　my
tongue！　Why　had　I　not　controlled　my　miserable；　mischievous
woman's　tongue！

〃I　didn't　mean　to　alarm　you；　Eustace；〃　I　said。　〃I　spoke　at
random。　Pray　forgive　me。〃

He　waved　his　hand　impatiently；　as　if　my　penitent　words　were
tangible　thingsruffling；　worrying　things；　like　flies　in
summerwhich　he　was　putting　away　from　him。

〃What　else　have　you　discovered？〃　he　asked；　in　low；　stern　tones。

〃Nothing；　Eustace。〃

〃Nothing？〃　He　paused　as　he　repeated　the　word；　and　passed　his　hand
over　his　forehead　in　a　weary　way。　〃Nothing；　of　course；〃　he
resumed；　speaking　to　himself；　〃or　she　would　not　be　here。〃　He
paused　once　more；　and　looked　at　me　searchingly。　〃Don't　say　again
what　you　said　just　now；〃　he　went　on。　〃For　your　own　sake；　Valeria；
as　well　as　for　mine。〃　He　dropped　into　the　nearest　chair；　and　said
no　more。

I　certainly　heard　the　warning；　but　the　only　words　which　really
produced　an　impression　on　my　mind　were　the　words　preceding　it；
which　he　had　spoken　to　himself。　He　had　said：　〃Nothing；　of　course；
_or　she　could　not　be　here。〃_　If　I　had　found　out　some　other　truth
besides　the　truth　about　the　name；　would　it　have　prevented　me　from
ever　returning　to　my　husband？　Was　that　what　he　meant？　Did　the
sort　of　discovery　that　he　contemplated　mean　something　so　dreadful
that　it　would　have　parted　us　at　once　and　forever？　I　stood　by　his
chair　in　silence；　and　tried　to　find　the　answer　to　those　terrible
questions　in　his　face。　It　used　to　speak　to　me　so　eloquently　when
it　spoke　of　his　love。　It　told　me　nothing　now。

He　sat　for　some　time　without　looking　at　me；　lost　in　his　own
thoughts。　Then　he　rose　on　a　sudden　and　took　his　hat。

〃The　friend　who　lent　me　the　yacht　is　in　town；〃　he　said。　〃I
suppose　I　had　better　see　him；　and　say　our　plans　are　changed。〃　He
tore　up　the　telegram　with　an　air　of　sullen　resignation　as　he
spoke。　〃You　are　evidently　determined　not　to　go　to　sea　with　me；〃
he　resumed。　〃We　had　better　give　it　up。　I　don't　see　what　else　is
to　be　done。　Do　you？〃

His　tone　was　almost　a　tone　of　contempt。　I　was　too　depressed　about
myself；　too　alarmed　about　_him；_　to　resent　it。

〃Decide　as　you　think　best；　Eustace；〃　I　said；　sadly。　〃Every　way；
the　prospect　seems　a　hopeless　one。　As　long　as　I　am　shut　out　from
your　confidence；　it　matters　little　whether　we　live　on　land　or　at
seawe　cannot　live　happily。〃

〃If　you　could　control　your　curiosity。〃　he　answered；　sternly；　〃we
might　live　happily　enough。　I　thought　I　had　married　a　woman　who
was　superior　to　the　vulgar　failings　of　her　sex。　A　good　wife
should　know　better　than　to　pry　into　affairs　of　her　husband's　with
which　she　had　no　concern。〃

Surely　it　was　hard　to　bear　this？　However；　I　bore　it。

〃Is　it　no　concern　of　mine？〃　I　asked；　gently；　〃when　I　find　that　my
husband　has　not　married　me　under　his　family　name？　Is　it　no
concern　of　mine　when　I　hear　your　mother　say；　in　so　many　words；
that　she　pities　your　wife？　It　is　hard；　Eustace；　to　accuse　me　of
curiosity　because　I　cannot　accept　the　unendurable　position　in
which　you　have　placed　me。　Your　cruel　silence　is　a　blight　on　my
happiness　and　a　threat　to　my　future。　Your　cruel　silence　is
estranging　us　from　each　other　at　the　beginning　of　our　married
life。　And　you　blame　me　for　feeling　this？　You　tell　me　I　am　prying
into　affairs　which　are　yours　only？　They　are　_not_　yours　only：　I
have　my　interest　in　them　too。　Oh；　my　darling；　why　do　you　trifle
with　our　love　and　our　confidence　in　each　other？　Why　do　you　keep
me　in　the　dark？〃

He　answered　with　a　stern　and　pitiless　brevity；

〃For　your　own　good。〃

I　turned　away　from　him　in　silence。　He　was　treating　me　like　a
child。

He　followed　me。　Putting　one　hand　heavily　on　my　shoulder；　he
forced　me　to　face　him　once　more。

〃Listen　to　this；〃　he　said。　〃What　I　am　now　going　to　say　to　you　I
say　for　the　first　and　last　time。　Valeria！　if　you　ever　discover
what　I　am　now　keeping　from　your　knowledgefrom　that　moment　you
live　a　life　of　torture；　your　tranquillity　is　gone。　Your　days　will
be　days　of　terror；　your　nights　will　be　full　of　horrid
dreamsthrough　no　fault　of　mine；　mind！　through　no　fault　of　mine！
Every　day　of　your　life　you　will　feel　some　new　distrust；　some
growing　fear　of　me；　and　you　will　be　doing　me　the　vilest　injustice
all　the　time。　On　my　faith　as　a　Christian；　on　my　honor　as　a　man；
if　you　stir　a　step　further　in　this　matter；　there　is　an　end　to
your　happiness　for　the　rest　of　your　life！　Think　seriously　of　what
I　have　said　to　you；　you　will　have　time　to　reflect。　I　am　going　to
tell　my　friend　that　our　plans　for　the　Mediterranean　are　given　up。