°®°®Ð¡ËµÍø > ÆäËûµç×ÓÊé > the complete plays >

µÚ77ÕÂ

the complete plays-µÚ77ÕÂ

С˵£º the complete plays ×ÖÊý£º ÿҳ3500×Ö

°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·­Ò³£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ªÎ´ÔĶÁÍꣿ¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©ÒѱãÏ´μÌÐøÔĶÁ£¡




¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Thine¡¡hand¡¡from¡¡mine£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡swear¡¡to¡¡thee

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡My¡¡love¡¡is¡¡ever¡¡thine

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡For¡¡ever¡¡and¡¡for¡¡ever¡£



NICE¡£¡¡On¡¡mountain¡¡top¡¡the¡¡air¡¡is¡¡keen£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡And¡¡most¡¡exhilarating£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡And¡¡we¡¡say¡¡things¡¡we¡¡do¡¡not¡¡mean

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡In¡¡moments¡¡less¡¡elating¡£

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡So¡¡please¡¡to¡¡wait

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡For¡¡thoughts¡¡that¡¡crop£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡En¡¡tete¡­a¡­tete£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡On¡¡mountain¡¡top£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡May¡¡not¡¡exactly¡¡tally

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡With¡¡those¡¡that¡¡you¡¡

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡May¡¡entertain£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Returning¡¡to

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡The¡¡sober¡¡plain

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Of¡¡yon¡¡relaxing¡¡valley



SPAR¡£¡¡Very¡¡wellif¡¡you¡¡won't¡¡have¡¡anything¡¡to¡¡say¡¡to¡¡me£»¡¡I¡¡know

who¡¡will¡£



NICE¡£¡¡Who¡¡will£¿



SPAR¡£¡¡Daphne¡¡will¡£



NICE¡£¡¡Daphne¡¡would¡¡flirt¡¡with¡¡anybody¡£



SPAR¡£¡¡Anybody¡¡would¡¡flirt¡¡with¡¡Daphne¡£¡¡She¡¡is¡¡quite¡¡as¡¡pretty¡¡as

you¡¡and¡¡has¡¡twice¡¡as¡¡much¡¡back¡­hair¡£



NICE¡£¡¡She¡¡has¡¡twice¡¡as¡¡much¡¡money£»¡¡which¡¡may¡¡account¡¡for¡¡it¡£



SPAR¡£¡¡At¡¡all¡¡events£»¡¡she¡¡has¡¡appreciation¡£¡¡She¡¡likes¡¡good¡¡looks¡£



NICE¡£¡¡We¡¡all¡¡like¡¡what¡¡we¡¡haven£»t¡¡got¡£



SPAR¡£¡¡She¡¡keeps¡¡her¡¡eyes¡¡open¡£



NICE¡£¡¡Yesone¡¡of¡¡them¡£



SPAR¡£¡¡Which¡¡one¡£



NICE¡£¡¡The¡¡one¡¡she¡¡doesn't¡¡wink¡¡with¡£



SPAR¡£¡¡Well£»¡¡I¡¡was¡¡engaged¡¡to¡¡her¡¡for¡¡six¡¡months¡¡and¡¡if¡¡she¡¡still

makes¡¡eyes¡¡at¡¡me£»¡¡you¡¡must¡¡attribute¡¡it¡¡to¡¡force¡¡of¡¡habit¡£

Besidesrememberwe¡¡are¡¡only¡¡half¡­married¡¡at¡¡present¡£



NICE¡£¡¡I¡¡suppose¡¡you¡¡mean¡¡that¡¡you¡¡are¡¡going¡¡to¡¡treat¡¡me¡¡as

shamefully¡¡as¡¡you¡¡treated¡¡her¡£¡¡¡¡Very¡¡well£»¡¡break¡¡it¡¡off¡¡if¡¡you

like¡£¡¡I¡¡shall¡¡not¡¡offer¡¡any¡¡objection¡£¡¡Thespis¡¡used¡¡to¡¡be¡¡very

attentive¡¡to¡¡me¡£¡¡I'd¡¡just¡¡as¡¡soon¡¡be¡¡a¡¡manager's¡¡wife¡¡as¡¡a¡¡fifth¡­

rate¡¡actor's¡£



£§Chorus¡¡heard£»¡¡at¡¡first¡¡below£»¡¡then¡¡enter¡¡Daphne£»¡¡Pretteia£»

Preposteros£»¡¡Stupidas£»¡¡Tipseion£»¡¡Cymon£»¡¡and¡¡other¡¡members¡¡of

Thespis's¡¡company¡¡climbing¡¡over¡¡rocks¡¡at¡¡back¡£¡¡All¡¡carry¡¡small

baskets¡££§



CHO¡£¡¡£§with¡¡dance£§¡¡Climbing¡¡over¡¡rocky¡¡mountain

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Skipping¡¡rivulet¡¡and¡¡fountain£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Passing¡¡where¡¡the¡¡willows¡¡quiver

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡By¡¡the¡¡ever¡¡rolling¡¡river£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Swollen¡¡with¡¡the¡¡summer¡¡rain¡£

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Threading¡¡long¡¡and¡¡leafy¡¡mazes£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Dotted¡¡with¡¡unnumbered¡¡daisies£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Scaling¡¡rough¡¡and¡¡rugged¡¡passes£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Climb¡¡the¡¡hearty¡¡lads¡¡and¡¡lasses£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Til¡¡the¡¡mountain¡­top¡¡they¡¡gain¡£



FIRST¡¡VOICE¡£¡¡Fill¡¡the¡¡cup¡¡and¡¡tread¡¡the¡¡measure

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Make¡¡the¡¡most¡¡of¡¡fleeting¡¡leisure¡£

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Hail¡¡it¡¡as¡¡a¡¡true¡¡ally

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Though¡¡it¡¡perish¡¡bye¡¡and¡¡bye¡£



SECOND¡¡VOICE¡£¡¡Every¡¡moment¡¡brings¡¡a¡¡treasure

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Of¡¡its¡¡own¡¡especial¡¡pleasure£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Though¡¡the¡¡moments¡¡quickly¡¡die£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Greet¡¡them¡¡gaily¡¡as¡¡they¡¡fly¡£



THIRD¡¡VOICE¡£¡¡Far¡¡away¡¡from¡¡grief¡¡and¡¡care£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡High¡¡up¡¡in¡¡the¡¡mountain¡¡air£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Let¡¡us¡¡live¡¡and¡¡reign¡¡alone£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡In¡¡a¡¡world¡¡that's¡¡all¡¡our¡¡own¡£



FOURTH¡¡VOICE¡£¡¡Here¡¡enthroned¡¡in¡¡the¡¡sky£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Far¡¡away¡¡from¡¡mortal¡¡eye£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡We'll¡¡be¡¡gods¡¡and¡¡make¡¡decrees£»

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Those¡¡may¡¡honor¡¡them¡¡who¡¡please¡£



CHO¡£¡¡Fill¡¡the¡¡cup¡¡and¡¡tread¡¡the¡¡measure¡£¡£¡£etc¡£



£§After¡¡Chorus¡¡and¡¡Couples¡¡enter£»¡¡Thespis¡¡climbing¡¡over¡¡rocks£§



THES¡£¡¡Bless¡¡you£»¡¡my¡¡people£»¡¡bless¡¡you¡£¡¡Let¡¡the¡¡revels¡¡commence¡£

After¡¡all£»¡¡for¡¡thorough£»¡¡unconstrained¡¡unconventional¡¡enjoyment

give¡¡me¡¡a¡¡picnic¡£



PREP¡£¡¡£§very¡¡gloomily£§¡¡Give¡¡him¡¡a¡¡picnic£»¡¡somebody¡£



THES¡£¡¡Be¡¡quiet£»¡¡Preposteros¡£¡¡Don't¡¡interrupt¡£



PREP¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡Shut¡¡up¡¡again¡£¡¡But¡¡no¡¡matter¡£



£§Stupidas¡¡endeavors£»¡¡in¡¡pantomime£»¡¡to¡¡reconcile¡¡him¡£¡¡Throughout

the¡¡scene¡¡Prep¡¡shows¡¡symptoms¡¡of¡¡breaking¡¡out¡¡into¡¡a¡¡furious

passion£»¡¡and¡¡Stupidas¡¡does¡¡all¡¡he¡¡can¡¡to¡¡pacify¡¡and¡¡restrain

him¡££§



THES¡£¡¡The¡¡best¡¡of¡¡a¡¡picnic¡¡is¡¡that¡¡everybody¡¡contributes¡¡what¡¡he

pleases£»¡¡and¡¡nobody¡¡knows¡¡what¡¡anybody¡¡else¡¡has¡¡brought¡¡til¡¡the

last¡¡moment¡£¡¡Now£»¡¡unpack¡¡everybody¡¡and¡¡let's¡¡see¡¡what¡¡there¡¡is

for¡¡everybody¡£



NICE¡£¡¡I¡¡have¡¡brought¡¡youa¡¡bottle¡¡of¡¡soda¡¡waterfor¡¡the¡¡claret¡­

cup¡£



DAPH¡£¡¡I¡¡have¡¡brought¡¡youlettuce¡¡for¡¡the¡¡lobster¡¡salad¡£



SPAR¡£¡¡A¡¡piece¡¡of¡¡icefor¡¡the¡¡claret¡­cup¡£



PRETT¡£¡¡A¡¡bottle¡¡of¡¡vinegarfor¡¡the¡¡lobster¡¡salad¡£



CYMON¡£¡¡A¡¡bunch¡¡of¡¡burrage¡¡for¡¡the¡¡claret¡­cup¡£



TIPS¡£¡¡A¡¡hard¡¡boiled¡¡eggfor¡¡the¡¡lobster¡¡salad¡£



STUP¡£¡¡One¡¡lump¡¡of¡¡sugar¡¡for¡¡the¡¡claret¡­cup¡£



PREP¡£¡¡He¡¡has¡¡brought¡¡one¡¡lump¡¡of¡¡sugar¡¡for¡¡the¡¡claret¡­cup£¿¡¡Ha¡£

Ha¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡£§laughing¡¡melodramatically£§



STUP¡£¡¡Well£»¡¡Preposteros£»¡¡what¡¡have¡¡you¡¡brought£¿



PREP¡£¡¡I¡¡have¡¡brought¡¡two¡¡lumps¡¡of¡¡the¡¡very¡¡best¡¡salt¡¡for¡¡the

lobster¡¡salad¡£



THES¡£¡¡Ohis¡¡that¡¡all£¿



PREP¡£¡¡All¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡He¡¡asks¡¡if¡¡it¡¡is¡¡all¡£¡¡£ûStup¡£¡¡consoles¡¡him£§



THES¡£¡¡But£»¡¡I¡¡saythis¡¡is¡¡capital¡¡so¡¡far¡¡as¡¡it¡¡goes¡£¡¡Nothing

could¡¡be¡¡better£»¡¡but¡¡it¡¡doesn't¡¡go¡¡far¡¡enough¡£¡¡The¡¡claret£»¡¡for

instance¡£¡¡I¡¡don't¡¡insist¡¡on¡¡claretor¡¡a¡¡lobsterI¡¡don't¡¡insist

on¡¡lobster£»¡¡but¡¡a¡¡lobster¡¡salad¡¡without¡¡a¡¡lobster£»¡¡why¡¡it¡¡isn't

lobster¡¡salad¡£¡¡¡¡Here£»¡¡Tipseion¡£



TIP¡£¡¡£§a¡¡very¡¡drunken£»¡¡bloated¡¡fellow£»¡¡dressed£»¡¡however£»¡¡with

scrupulous¡¡accuracy¡¡and¡¡wearing¡¡a¡¡large¡¡medal¡¡around¡¡his¡¡neck£§¡¡My

master¡£¡¡£§Falls¡¡on¡¡his¡¡knees¡¡to¡¡Thes¡£¡¡and¡¡kisses¡¡his¡¡robe¡££§



THES¡£¡¡Get¡¡updon't¡¡be¡¡a¡¡fool¡£¡¡Where's¡¡the¡¡claret£¿¡¡We¡¡arranged

last¡¡week¡¡that¡¡you¡¡were¡¡to¡¡see¡¡to¡¡that¡£



TIPS¡£¡¡True£»¡¡dear¡¡master¡£¡¡But¡¡then¡¡I¡¡was¡¡a¡¡drunkard¡£



THES¡£¡¡You¡¡were¡£



TIPS¡£¡¡You¡¡engaged¡¡me¡¡to¡¡play¡¡convivial¡¡parts¡¡on¡¡the¡¡strength¡¡of

my¡¡personal¡¡appearance¡£



THES¡£¡¡I¡¡did¡£



TIPS¡£¡¡Then¡¡you¡¡found¡¡that¡¡my¡¡habits¡¡interfered¡¡with¡¡my¡¡duties¡¡as

low¡¡comedian¡£



THES¡£¡¡True¡£



TIPS¡£¡¡You¡¡said¡¡yesterday¡¡that¡¡unless¡¡I¡¡took¡¡the¡¡pledge¡¡you¡¡would

dismiss¡¡me¡¡from¡¡your¡¡company¡£



THES¡£¡¡Quite¡¡so¡£



TIPS¡£¡¡Good¡£¡¡I¡¡have¡¡taken¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡all¡¡I¡¡have¡¡taken¡¡since

yesterday¡£¡¡My¡¡preserver¡£¡¡£§embraces¡¡him£§



THES¡£¡¡Yes£»¡¡but¡¡where's¡¡the¡¡wine£¿



TIPS¡£¡¡I¡¡left¡¡it¡¡behind¡¡that¡¡I¡¡might¡¡not¡¡be¡¡tempted¡¡to¡¡violate¡¡my

pledge¡£



PREP¡£¡¡Minion¡£¡¡£§Attempts¡¡to¡¡get¡¡at¡¡him£»¡¡is¡¡restrained¡¡by¡¡Stupidas£§



THES¡£¡¡Now£»¡¡Preposteros£»¡¡what¡¡is¡¡the¡¡matter¡¡with¡¡you£¿



PREP¡£¡¡It¡¡is¡¡enough¡¡that¡¡I¡¡am¡¡down¡­trodden¡¡in¡¡my¡¡profession¡£¡¡I

will¡¡not¡¡submit¡¡to¡¡imposition¡¡out¡¡of¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡enough¡¡that¡¡as

your¡¡heavy¡¡villain¡¡I¡¡get¡¡the¡¡worst¡¡of¡¡it¡¡every¡¡night¡¡in¡¡a¡¡combat

of¡¡six¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡will¡¡not¡¡submit¡¡to¡¡insult¡¡in¡¡the¡¡day¡¡time¡£¡¡I¡¡have¡¡come

out¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡to¡¡enjoy¡¡myself¡£



THES¡£¡¡But¡¡look¡¡here£»¡¡you¡¡knowvirtue¡¡only¡¡triumphs¡¡at¡¡night¡¡from

seven¡¡to¡¡tenvice¡¡gets¡¡the¡¡best¡¡of¡¡it¡¡during¡¡the¡¡other¡¡twenty

one¡¡hours¡£¡¡¡¡Won't¡¡that¡¡satisfy¡¡you£¿¡¡£§Stupidas¡¡endeavours¡¡to

pacify¡¡him¡££§



PREP¡£¡¡£§Irritated¡¡to¡¡Stupidas£§¡¡Ye¡¡are¡¡odious¡¡to¡¡my¡¡sight¡£¡¡Get¡¡out

of¡¡it¡£



STUP¡£¡¡£§In¡¡great¡¡terror£§¡¡What¡¡have¡¡I¡¡done£¿



THES¡£¡¡Now¡¡what¡¡is¡¡it¡£¡¡Preposteros£»¡¡what¡¡is¡¡it£¿



PREP¡£¡¡I¡¡a¡¡¡¡hate¡¡him¡¡and¡¡would¡¡have¡¡his¡¡life¡£



THES¡£¡¡£§to¡¡Stup¡££§¡¡That's¡¡ithe¡¡hates¡¡you¡¡and¡¡would¡¡have¡¡your¡¡

life¡£¡¡Now¡¡go¡¡and¡¡be¡¡merry¡£



STUP¡£¡¡Yes£»¡¡but¡¡why¡¡does¡¡he¡¡hate¡¡me£¿



THES¡£¡¡Ohexactly¡£¡¡£§to¡¡Prep¡££§¡¡Why¡¡do¡¡you¡¡hate¡¡him£¿



PREP¡£¡¡Because¡¡he¡¡is¡¡a¡¡minion¡£



THES¡£¡¡He¡¡hates¡¡you¡¡because¡¡you¡¡are¡¡a¡¡minion¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡explains¡¡itself¡£¡¡

Now¡¡go¡¡and¡¡enjoy¡¡yourselves¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡Ha¡£¡¡It¡¡is¡¡well¡¡for¡¡those¡¡who¡¡can

laughlet¡¡them¡¡do¡¡sothere¡¡is¡¡no¡¡extra¡¡charge¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡light¡­

hearted¡¡cup¡¡and¡¡the¡¡convivial¡¡jest¡¡for¡¡thembut¡¡for¡¡mewhat¡¡is

there¡¡for¡¡me£¿



SILLI¡£¡¡There¡¡is¡¡some¡¡claret¡­cup¡¡and¡¡lobster¡¡salad¡¡£§handing¡¡some£§



THES¡£¡¡£§taking¡¡it£§¡¡Thank¡¡you¡£¡¡£§Resuming£§¡¡What¡¡is¡¡there¡¡for¡¡me¡¡but

anxietyceaseless¡¡gnawing¡¡anxiety¡¡that¡¡tears¡¡at¡¡my¡¡very¡¡vitals

and¡¡rends¡¡my¡¡peace¡¡of¡¡mind¡¡asunder£¿¡¡¡¡There¡¡is¡¡nothing¡¡whatever

for¡¡me¡¡but¡¡anxiety¡¡of¡¡the¡¡nature¡¡I¡¡have¡¡just¡¡described¡£¡¡The

charge¡¡of¡¡these¡¡thoughtless¡¡revellers¡¡is¡¡my¡¡unhappy¡¡lot¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is

not¡¡a¡¡small¡¡charge£»¡¡and¡¡it¡¡is¡¡rightly¡¡termed¡¡a¡¡lot¡¡because¡¡there

are¡¡many¡£¡¡Oh¡¡why¡¡did¡¡the¡¡gods¡¡make¡¡me¡¡a¡¡manager£¿



SILL¡£¡¡£§as¡¡guessing¡¡a¡¡riddle£§¡¡Why¡¡did¡¡the¡¡gods¡¡make¡¡him¡¡a¡¡manager£¿



SPAR¡£¡¡Why¡¡did¡¡the¡¡gods¡¡make¡¡him¡¡a¡¡manager¡£



DAPH¡£¡¡Why¡¡did¡¡the¡¡gods¡¡make¡¡him¡¡a¡¡manager£¿



PRETT¡£¡¡Why¡¡did¡¡the¡¡gods¡¡make¡¡him¡¡a¡¡manager£¿



THES¡£¡¡Nonowhat¡¡are¡¡you¡¡talking¡¡about£¿¡¡What¡¡do¡¡you¡¡mean£¿



DAPH¡£¡¡I've¡¡got¡¡itno¡¡don't¡¡tell¡¡us¡£



ALL¡£¡¡Nonobecausebecause



THES¡£¡¡£§annoyed£§¡¡It¡¡isn't¡¡a¡¡conundrum¡£¡¡¡¡It's¡¡misanthropical

question¡£



DAPH¡£¡¡£§Who¡¡is¡¡sitting¡¡with¡¡Spar¡£¡¡to¡¡the¡¡annoyance¡¡of¡¡Nice¡£¡¡who¡¡is

crying¡¡alone£§¡¡I'm¡¡sure¡¡I¡¡don't¡¡know¡£¡¡We¡¡do¡¡not¡¡want¡¡you¡£¡¡Don't

distress¡¡yourself¡¡on¡¡our¡¡accountwe¡¡are¡¡getting¡¡on¡¡very

comfortablyaren't¡¡we¡¡Sparkeion¡£



SPAR¡£¡¡We¡¡are¡¡so¡¡happy¡¡that¡¡we¡¡don't¡¡miss¡¡the¡¡lobster¡¡or¡¡the

claret¡£¡¡What¡¡are¡¡lobster¡¡and¡¡claret¡¡compared¡¡with¡¡the¡¡society¡¡of

those¡¡we¡¡love£¿¡¡£§embracing¡¡Daphne¡££§



DAPH¡£¡¡Why£»¡¡Nicemis£»¡¡love£»¡¡you¡¡are¡¡eating¡¡nothing¡£¡¡Aren't¡¡you

happy¡¡dear£¿



NICE¡£¡¡£§spitefully£§¡¡You¡¡are¡¡quite¡¡welcome¡¡to¡¡my¡¡share¡¡of

everything¡£¡¡I¡¡intend¡¡to¡¡console¡¡myself¡¡with¡¡the¡¡society¡¡of¡¡my

manager¡£¡¡£§takes¡¡Thespis'¡¡arm¡¡affectionately£§¡£



THES¡£¡¡Here¡¡I¡¡saythis¡¡won't¡¡do£»¡¡you¡¡knowI¡¡can't¡¡allow¡¡itat

least¡¡before¡¡my¡¡companybesides£»¡¡you¡¡are¡¡half¡­married¡¡to

Sparkeion¡£¡¡Sparkeion£»¡¡here's¡¡your¡¡half¡­wife¡¡impairing¡¡my

influence¡¡before¡¡my¡¡company¡£¡¡Don't¡¡you¡¡know¡¡the¡¡story¡¡of¡¡the

gentleman¡¡who¡¡undermined¡¡his¡¡influence¡¡by¡¡associating¡¡with¡¡his

inferiors£¿



ALL¡£¡¡Yes£»¡¡yeswe¡¡know¡¡it¡£



PREP¡£¡¡£§formally£§¡¡I¡¡do¡¡not¡¡know¡¡it¡£¡¡It's¡¡ever¡¡thus¡£¡¡Doomed¡¡to

disappointment¡¡from¡¡my¡¡earliest¡¡years¡£¡¡¡¡£§Stup¡£¡¡endeavours¡¡to

console¡¡him£§¡¡



THES¡£¡¡Therethat's¡¡enough¡£¡¡¡¡Preposterosyou¡¡shall¡¡hear¡¡it¡£



I¡¡once¡¡knew¡¡a¡¡chap¡¡who¡¡discharged¡¡a¡¡function

On¡¡the¡¡North¡¡South¡¡East¡¡West¡¡Diddlesex¡¡Junction¡£

He¡¡was¡¡conspicuous¡¡exceeding£»

For¡¡his¡¡affable¡¡ways£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡easy¡¡breeding¡£

Although¡¡a¡¡chairman¡¡of¡¡directions£»

He¡¡was¡¡hand¡¡in¡¡glove¡¡with¡¡the¡¡ticket¡¡inspectors¡£

He¡¡tipped¡¡the¡¡guards¡¡with¡¡brand¡¡new¡¡fivers£»

And¡¡sang¡¡little¡¡songs¡¡to¡¡the¡¡engine¡¡drivers¡£

'Twas¡¡told¡¡to¡¡me¡¡with¡¡great¡¡compunction£»

By¡¡one¡¡who¡¡had¡¡discharged¡¡with¡¡unction

A¡¡chairman¡¡of¡¡directors¡¡function

On¡¡the¡¡North¡¡South¡¡East¡¡West¡¡Diddlesex¡¡Junction¡£

Fol¡¡diddle£»¡¡lol¡¡diddle£»¡¡lol¡¡lol¡¡lay¡£



Each¡¡Christmas¡¡day¡¡he¡¡gave¡¡each¡¡stoker

A¡¡silver¡¡shovel¡¡and¡¡a¡¡golden¡¡poker¡£

He'd¡¡button¡¡holw¡¡flowers¡¡for¡¡the¡¡ticket¡¡sorters

And¡¡rich¡¡Bath¡­buns¡¡for¡¡the¡¡outside¡¡porters¡£

He'd¡¡moun¡¡the¡¡clerks¡¡on¡¡his¡¡first¡­class¡¡hunters£»

And¡¡he¡¡build¡¡little¡¡villas¡¡for¡¡the¡¡road¡­side¡¡shunters£»

And¡¡if¡¡any¡¡were¡¡fond¡¡of¡¡pigeon¡¡shooting£»

He'd¡¡ask¡¡them¡¡down¡¡to¡¡his¡¡place¡¡at¡¡Tooting¡£

Twas¡¡told¡¡to¡¡me¡£¡£¡£¡£etc¡£



In¡¡course¡¡of¡¡time¡¡there¡¡spread¡¡a¡¡rumour

That¡¡he¡¡did¡¡all¡¡this¡¡from¡¡a¡¡sense¡¡of¡¡humour¡£

So¡¡instead¡¡of¡¡signalling¡¡and¡¡stoking£»

They¡¡gave¡¡themselves¡¡up¡¡to¡¡a¡¡course¡¡of¡¡joking¡£

Whenever¡¡they¡¡knew¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡riding£»

They¡¡shunted¡¡his¡¡train¡¡on¡¡a¡¡lonely¡¡siding£»

Or¡¡stopped¡¡all¡¡night¡¡in¡¡the¡¡middle¡¡of¡¡a¡¡tunnel£»

On¡¡the¡¡plea¡¡that¡¡the¡¡boiler¡¡was¡¡a¡­coming¡¡through¡¡the¡¡funnel¡£

Twas¡¡told¡¡to¡¡me¡£¡£¡£etc¡£



It¡¡he¡¡wished¡¡to¡¡go¡¡to¡¡Perth¡¡or¡¡Stirling£»

His¡¡train¡¡through¡¡several¡¡counties¡¡whirling£»

Would¡¡set¡¡him¡¡down¡¡in¡¡a¡¡fit¡¡of¡¡larking£»

At¡¡four¡¡a¡£m¡£¡¡in¡¡the¡¡wilds¡¡of¡¡Barking¡£

This¡¡pleased¡¡his¡¡whim¡¡and¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡strike¡¡it£»

But¡¡the¡¡general¡¡public¡¡did¡¡not¡¡like¡¡it¡£

The¡¡receipts¡¡fell£»¡¡after¡¡a¡¡few¡¡repeatings£»

And¡¡he¡¡got¡¡it¡¡hot¡¡at¡¡the¡¡annual¡¡meetings¡£

Twas¡¡told¡¡to¡¡me¡£¡£¡£etc¡£



He¡¡followed¡¡out¡¡his¡¡whim¡¡with¡¡vigour£»

The¡¡shares¡¡went¡¡down¡¡to¡¡a¡¡nominal¡¡figure¡£

These¡¡are¡¡the¡¡sad¡¡results¡¡proceeding

From¡¡his¡¡affable¡¡ways¡¡and¡¡his¡¡

·µ»ØĿ¼ ÉÏÒ»Ò³ ÏÂÒ»Ò³ »Øµ½¶¥²¿ ÔÞ£¨0£© ²È£¨0£©

Äã¿ÉÄÜϲ»¶µÄ