the complete plays-第83章
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ALL。 Oh； man of learning！
QUARTETTE
JUDGE。 A nice dilemma we have here；
That calls for all our wit：
COUNSEL。 And at this stage； it don't appear
That we can settle it。
DEFENDANT （in Witness…box）。
If I to wed the girl am loth
A breach 'twill surely be
PLAINTIFF。 And if he goes and marries both；
It counts as Burglaree！
ALL。 A nice dilemma we have here；
That calls for all our wit。
DUET PLAINTIFF and DEFENDANT
PLAINTIFF （embracing him rapturously）
I love himI love himwith fervour unceasing
I worship and madly adore；
My blind adoration is ever increasing；
My loss I shall ever deplore。
Oh； see what a blessing； what love and caressing
I've lost； and remember it； pray；
When you I'm addressing； are busy assessing
The damages Edwin must pay…
Yes； he must pay！
DEFENDANT （repelling her furiously）
I smoke like a furnaceI'm always in liquor；
A ruffiana bullya sot；
I'm sure I should thrash her； perhaps I should kick her；
I am such a very bad lot！
I'm not prepossessing； as you may be guessing；
She couldn't endure me a day！
Recall my professing； when you are assessing
The damages Edwin must pay！
PLAINTIFF。 Yes； he must pay！
＇She clings to him passionately； after a struggle； he throws her
off into arms of Counsel。
JURY。 We would be fairly acting；
But this is most distracting！
If； when in liquor he would kick her；
That is an abatement。
RECIT JUDGE
The question； gentlemenis one of liquor。
You ask for guidancethis is my reply：
He says； when tipsy； he would thrash and kick her。
Let's make him tipsy； gentlemen； and try！
COUNSEL。 With all respect；
I do object！
PLAINTIFF。 I do object！
DEFENDANT。 I don't object！
ALL。 With all respect
We do object！
JUDGE （tossing his books and paper about）
All the legal furies seize you！
No proposal seems to please you；
I can't sit up here all day；
I must shortly get away。
Barristers； and you； attorneys；
Set out on your homeward journeys；
Gentle； simple…minded Usher；
Get you； if you like； to Russher；
Put your briefs upon the shelf；
I will marry her myself！
＇He comes down from Bench to floor of Court。 He embraces
Angelina。
FINALE
PLAINTIFF。 Oh； joy unbounded；
With wealth surrounded；
The knell is sounded
Of grief and woe。
COUNSEL。 With love devoted
On you he's doated；
To castle moated
Away they go。
DEFENDANT。 I wonder whether
They'll live together；
In marriage tether
In manner true？
USHER。 It seems to me； sir；
Of such as she； sir；
A Judge is he； sir；
And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE。 Yes； I am a Judge！
ALL。 And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE。 Yes； I am a Judge！
ALL。 And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE。 Though homeward as you trudge；
You declare my law is fudge。
Yet of beauty I'm a judge。
ALL。 And a good Judge too！
JUDGE。 Though defendant is a snob；
ALL。 And a great snob； too！
JUDGE。 Though defendant is a snob；
ALL。 And a great snob； too！
JUDGE。 Though defendant is a snob；
I'll reward him from his fob。
So we've settled with the job；
ALL。 And a good job； too！
Dance
CURTAIN
UTOPIA LIMITED
OR
THE FLOWERS OF PROGRESS
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
Libretto by William S。 Gilbert
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
King Paramount； the First （King of Utopia）
Scaphio and Phantis （Judges of the Utopian Supreme Court）
Tarara （The Public Exploder）
Calynx （The Utopian Vice…Chamberlain）
Imported Flowers of Progress：
Lord Dramaleigh （a British Lord Chamberlain）
Captain Fitzbattleaxe （First Life Guards）
Captain Sir Edward Corcoran； K。C。B。 （of the Royal Navy）
Mr。 Goldbury （a company promoter； afterwards Comptroller of the
Utopian
Household）
Sir Bailey Barre； Q。C。； M。P。
Mr。 Blushington （of the County Council）
The Princess Zara （eldest daughter of King Paramount）
The Princesses Nekaya and Kalyba （her Younger Sisters）
The Lady Sophy （their English Gouvernante）
Utopian Maidens：
Salata
Melene
Phylla
ACT I
A Utopian Palm Grove
ACT II
Throne Room in King Paramount's Palace
First produced at the Savoy Theatre on October 7； 1893。
ACT I。
OPENING CHORUS。
In lazy languormotionless；
We lie and dream of nothingness；
For visions come
From Poppydom
Direct at our command：
Or； delicate alternative；
In open idleness we live；
With lyre and lute
And silver flute；
The life of Lazyland。
SOLO … Phylla。
The song of birds
In ivied towers；
The rippling play
Of waterway；
The lowing herds；
The breath of flowers；
The languid loves
Of turtle doves
These simply joys are all at hand
Upon thy shores； O Lazyland！
（Enter Calynx）
Calynx： Good news！ Great news！ His Majesty's eldest daughter；
Princess Zara； who left our shores five years since to go
to
Englandthe greatest； the most powerful； the wisest
country
in the worldhas taken a high degree at Girton； and is
on
her way home again； having achieved a complete mastery
over
all the elements that have tended to raise that glorious
country to her present pre…eminent position among
civilized
nations！
Salata： Then in a few months Utopia may hope to be completely
Angli…
cized？
Calynx： Absolutely and without a doubt。
Melene： （lazily） We are very well as we are。 Life without a
careevery want supplied by a kind and fatherly monarch；
who； despot though he be； has no other thought than to
make
his people happywhat have we to gain by the great
change
that is in store for us？
Salata： What have we to gain？ English institutions； English
tastes；
and oh； English fashions！
Calynx： England has made herself what she is because； in that fa…
vored land； every one has to think for himself。 Here we
have no need to think； because our monarch anticipates
all
our wants； and our political opinions are formed for us
by
the journals to which we subscribe。 Oh； think how much
more
brilliant this dialogue would have been； if we had been
accustomed to exercise our reflective powers！ They say
that
in England the conversation of the very meanest is a
corus…
cation of impromptu epigram！
（Enter Tarara in a great rage）
Tarara： Lalabalele talala！ Callabale lalabalica falahle！
Calynx： （horrified） Stopstop； I beg！ （All the ladies close
their
ears。）
Tarara： Callamalala galalate！ Caritalla lalabalee kallalale poo！
Ladies： Oh； stop him！ stop him！
Calynx： My lord； I'm surprised at you。 Are you not aware that
His
Majesty； in his despotic acquiescence with the emphatic
wish
of his people； has ordered that the Utopian language
shall
be banished from his court； and that all communications
shall henceforward be made in the English tongue？
Tarara： Yes； I'm perfectly aware of it； although（suddenly
present…
ing an explosive 〃cracker〃）。 Stopallow me。
Calynx： （pulls it）。 Now； what's that for？
Tarara： Why； I've recently been appointed Public Exploder to His
Majesty； and as I'm constitutionally nervous； I must
accus…
tom myself by degrees to the startling nature of my
duties。
Thank you。 I was about to say that although； as Public
Exploder； I am next in succession to the throne； I
neverthe…
less do my best to fall in with the royal decree。 But
when
I am overmastered by an indignant sense of overwhelming
wrong； as I am now； I slip into my native tongue without
knowing it。 I am told that in the language of that great
and pure nation； strong expressions do not exist； conse…
quently when I want to let off steam I have no
alternative
but to say； 〃Lalabalele molola lililah kallalale poo！〃
Calynx： But what is your grievance？
Tarara： Thisby our Constitution we are governed by a Despot
who；
although in theory absoluteis； in practice； nothing of
the
kindbeing watched day and night by two Wise Men whose
duty
it is； on his very first lapse from political or social
propriety； to denounce him to me； the Public Exploder；
and
it then becomes my duty to blow up His Majesty with
dynamiteallow me。 （Presenting a cracker which Calynx
pulls。） Thank youand； as some compensation to my
wounded
feelings； I reign in his stead。
Calynx： Yes。 After many unhappy experiments in the direction of
an
ideal Republic； it was found that what may be desc
