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Chapter　XIII　of　Volume　II　（Chap。　36）
　IF　Elizabeth；　when　Mr。　Darcy　gave　her　the　letter；　did　not　expect　it　to　contain　a　renewal　of　his　offers；　she　had　formed　no　expectation　at　all　of　its　contents。　But　such　as　they　were；　it　may　be　well　supposed　how　eagerly　she　went　through　them；　and　what　a　contrariety　of　emotion　they　excited。　Her　feelings　as　she　read　were　scarcely　to　be　defined。　With　amazement　did　she　first　understand　that　he　believed　any　apology　to　be　in　his　power；　and　stedfastly　was　she　persuaded　that　he　could　have　no　explanation　to　give；　which　a　just　sense　of　shame　would　not　conceal。　With　a　strong　prejudice　against　every　thing　he　might　say；　she　began　his　account　of　what　had　happened　at　Netherfield。　She　read；　with　an　eagerness　which　hardly　left　her　power　of　comprehension；　and　from　impatience　of　knowing　what　the　next　sentence　might　bring；　was　incapable　of　attending　to　the　sense　of　the　one　before　her　eyes。　His　belief　of　her　sister's　insensibility；　she　instantly　resolved　to　be　false；　and　his　account　of　the　real；　the　worst　objections　to　the　match；　made　her　too　angry　to　have　any　wish　of　doing　him　justice。　He　expressed　no　regret　for　what　he　had　done　which　satisfied　her；　his　style　was　not　penitent；　but　haughty。　It　was　all　pride　and　insolence。
But　when　this　subject　was　succeeded　by　his　account　of　Mr。　Wickham；　when　she　read；　with　somewhat　clearer　attention；　a　relation　of　events；　which；　if　true；　must　overthrow　every　cherished　opinion　of　his　worth；　and　which　bore　so　alarming　an　affinity　to　his　own　history　of　himself；　her　feelings　were　yet　more　acutely　painful　and　more　difficult　of　definition。　Astonishment；　apprehension；　and　even　horror；　oppressed　her。　She　wished　to　discredit　it　entirely；　repeatedly　exclaiming；　‘‘This　must　be　false！　This　cannot　be！　This　must　be　the　grossest　falsehood！''　　and　when　she　had　gone　through　the　whole　letter；　though　scarcely　knowing　any　thing　of　the　last　page　or　two；　put　it　hastily　away；　protesting　that　she　would　not　regard　it；　that　she　would　never　look　in　it　again。
In　this　perturbed　state　of　mind；　with　thoughts　that　could　rest　on　nothing；　she　walked　on；　but　it　would　not　do；　in　half　a　minute　the　letter　was　unfolded　again；　and　collecting　herself　as　well　as　she　could；　she　again　began　the　mortifying　perusal　of　all　that　related　to　Wickham；　and　commanded　herself　so　far　as　to　examine　the　meaning　of　every　sentence。　The　account　of　his　connection　with　the　Pemberley　family　was　exactly　what　he　had　related　himself；　and　the　kindness　of　the　late　Mr。　Darcy；　though　she　had　not　before　known　its　extent；　agreed　equally　well　with　his　own　words。　So　far　each　recital　confirmed　the　other；　but　when　she　came　to　the　will；　the　difference　was　great。　What　Wickham　had　said　of　the　living　was　fresh　in　her　memory；　and　as　she　recalled　his　very　words；　it　was　impossible　not　to　feel　that　there　was　gross　duplicity　on　one　side　or　the　other；　and；　for　a　few　moments；　she　flattered　herself　that　her　wishes　did　not　err。　But　when　she　read；　and　re…read　with　the　closest　attention；　the　particulars　immediately　following　of　Wickham's　resigning　all　pretensions　to　the　living；　of　his　receiving；　in　lieu；　so　considerable　a　sum　as　three　thousand　pounds；　again　was　she　forced　to　hesitate。　She　put　down　the　letter；　weighed　every　circumstance　with　what　she　meant　to　be　impartiality　　deliberated　on　the　probability　of　each　statement　　but　with　little　success。　On　both　sides　it　was　only　assertion。　Again　she　read　on。　But　every　line　proved　more　clearly　that　the　affair；　which　she　had　believed　it　impossible　that　any　contrivance　could　so　represent　as　to　render　Mr。　Darcy's　conduct　in　it　less　than　infamous；　was　capable　of　a　turn　which　must　make　him　entirely　blameless　throughout　the　whole。
The　extravagance　and　general　profligacy　which　he　scrupled　not　to　lay　to　Mr。　Wickham's　charge；　exceedingly　shocked　her；　the　more　so；　as　she　could　bring　no　proof　of　its　injustice。　She　had　never　heard　of　him　before　his　entrance　into　the　shire　Militia；　in　which　he　had　engaged　at　the　persuasion　of　the　young　man；　who；　on　meeting　him　accidentally　in　town；　had　there　renewed　a　slight　acquaintance。　Of　his　former　way　of　life；　nothing　had　been　known　in　Hertfordshire　but　what　he　told　himself。　As　to　his　real　character；　had　information　been　in　her　power；　she　had　never　felt　a　wish　of　enquiring。　His　countenance；　voice；　and　manner　had　established　him　at　once　in　the　possession　of　every　virtue。　She　tried　to　recollect　some　instance　of　goodness；　some　distinguished　trait　of　integrity　or　benevolence；　that　might　rescue　him　from　the　attacks　of　Mr。　Darcy；　or　at　least；　by　the　predominance　of　virtue；　atone　for　those　casual　errors；　under　which　she　would　endeavour　to　class　what　Mr。　Darcy　had　described　as　the　idleness　and　vice　of　many　years　continuance。　But　no　such　recollection　befriended　her。　She　could　see　him　instantly　before　her；　in　every　charm　of　air　and　address；　but　she　could　remember　no　more　substantial　good　than　the　general　approbation　of　the　neighbourhood；　and　the　regard　which　his　social　powers　had　gained　him　in　the　mess。　After　pausing　on　this　point　a　considerable　while；　she　once　more　continued　to　read。　But；　alas！　the　story　which　followed；　of　his　designs　on　Miss　Darcy；　received　some　confirmation　from　what　had　passed　between　Colonel　Fitzwilliam　and　herself　only　the　morning　before；　and　at　last　she　was　referred　for　the　truth　of　every　particular　to　Colonel　Fitzwilliam　himself　　from　whom　she　had　previously　received　the　information　of　his　near　concern　in　all　his　cousin's　affairs；　and　whose　character　she　had　no　reason　to　question。　At　one　time　she　had　almost　resolved　on　applying　to　him；　but　the　idea　was　checked　by　the　awkwardness　of　the　application；　and　at　length　wholly　banished　by　the　conviction　that　Mr。　Darcy　would　never　have　hazarded　such　a　proposal　if　he　had　not　been　well　assured　of　his　cousin's　corroboration。
She　perfectly　remembered　every　thing　that　had　passed　in　conversation　between　Wickham　and　herself　in　their　first　evening　at　Mr。　Philips's。　Many　of　his　expressions　were　still　fresh　in　her　memory。　She　was　now　struck　with　the　impropriety　of　such　communications　to　a　stranger；　and　wondered　it　had　escaped　her　before。　She　saw　the　indelicacy　of　putting　himself　forward　as　he　had　done；　and　the　inconsistency　of　his　professions　with　his　conduct。　She　remembered　that　he　had　boasted　of　having　no　fear　of　seeing　Mr。　Darcy　　that　Mr。　Darcy　might　leave　the　country；　but　that　he　should　stand　his　ground；　yet　he　had　avoided　the　Netherfield　ball　the　very　next　week。　She　remembered　also；　that　till　the　Netherfield　family　had　quitted　the　country；　he　had　told　his　story　to　no　one　but　herself；　but　that　after　their　removal；　it　had　been　every　where　discussed；　that　he　had　then　no　reserves；　no　scruples　in　sinking　Mr。　Darcy's　character；　though　he　had　assured　her　that　respect　for　the　father　would　always　prevent　his　exposing　the　son。
How　differently　did　every　thing　now　appear　in　which　he　was　concerned！　His　attentions　to　Miss　King　were　now　the　consequence　of　views　solely　and　hatefully　mercenary；　and　the　mediocrity　of　her　fortune　proved　no　longer　the　moderation　of　his　wishes；　but　his　eagerness　to　grasp　at　any　thing。　His　behaviour　to　herself　could　now　have　had　no　tolerable　motive；　he　had　either　been　deceived　with　regard　to　her　fortune；　or　had　been　gratifying　his　vanity　by　encouraging　the　preference　which　she　believed　she　had　most　incautiously　shewn。　Every　lingering　struggle　in　his　favour　grew　fainter　and　fainter；　and　in　farther　justification　of　Mr。　Darcy；　she　could　not　but　allow　that　Mr。　Bingley；　when　questioned　by　Jane；　had　long　ago　asserted　his　blamelessness　in　the　affair；　that；　proud　and　repulsive　as　were　his　manners；　she　had　never；　in　the　whole　course　of　their　acquaintance　　an　acquaintance　which　had　latterly　brought　them　much　together；　and　given　her　a　sort　of　intimacy　with　his　ways　　seen　any　thing　that　betrayed　him　to　be　unprincipled　or　unjust　　any　thing　that　spoke　him　of　irreligious　or　immoral　habits。　That　among　his　own　connections　he　was　esteemed　and　valued　　that　even　Wickham　had　allowed　him　merit　as　a　brother；　and　that　she　had　often　heard　him　speak　so　affectionately　of　his　sister　as　to　prove　him　capable　of　some　amiable　feeling。　That　had　his　actions　been　what　Wickham　represented　them；　so　gross　a　violation　of　every　thing　right　could　hardly　have　been　concealed　from　the　world；　and　that　friendship　between　a　person　capable　of　it；　and　such　an　amiable　man　as　Mr。　Bingley；　was　incomprehensible。
She　grew　absolutely　ashamed　of　herself。　　Of　neither　Darcy　nor　Wickham　could　she　think；　without　feeling　that　she　had　been　blind；　partial；　prejudiced；　absurd。
‘‘How　despicably　have　I　acted！''　she　cried。　　‘‘I；　who　have　prided　myself　on　my　discernment！　　I；　who　have　valued　myself　on　my　abilities！　who　have　often　disdained　the　generous　candour　of　my　sister；　and　gratified　my　vanity；　in　useless　or　blameable　distrust。　　How　humiliating　is　this　discovery！　　Yet；　how　just　a　humiliation！　　Had　I　been　in　love；　I　could　not　have　been　more　wretchedly　blind。　But　vanity；　not　love；　has　been　my　folly。　　Pleased　with　the　preference　of　one；　and　offended　by　the　neglect　of　the　other；　on　the　very　beginning　of　our　acquaintance；　I　have　courted　prepossession　and　ignorance；　and　driven　reason　away；　where　either　were　concerned。　Till　this　moment；　I　never　knew　myself。''
From　herself　to　Jane　　from　Jane　to　Bingley；　her　thoughts　were　in　a　line　which　soon　brought　to　her　recollection　that　Mr。　Darcy's　explanation　there　had　appeared　very　insufficient；　and　she　read　it　again。　Widely　different　was　the　effect　of　a　second　perusal。　　How　could　she　deny　that　credit　to　his　assertions；　in　one　instance；　which　she　had　been　obliged　to　give　in　the　other？　　He　declared　himself　to　have　been　totally　unsuspicious　of　her　sister's　attachment；　　and　she　could　not　help　remembering　what　Charlotte's　opinion　had　always　been。　　Neither　could　she　deny　the　justice　of　his　description　of　Jane。　　She　felt　that　Jane's　feelings；　though　fervent；　were　little　displayed；　and　that　there　was　a　constant　complacency　in　her　air　and　manner　not　often　united　with　great　sensibility。
When　she　came　to　that　part　of　the　letter　in　which　her　family　were　mentioned；　in　terms　of　such　mortifying　yet　merited　reproach；　her　sense　of　shame　was　severe。　The　justice　of　the　charge　struck　her　too　forcibly　for　denial；　and　the　circumstances　to　which　he　particularly　alluded；　as　having　passed　at　the　Netherfield　ball；　and　as　confirming　all　his　first　disapprobation；　could　not　have　made　a　stronger　impression　on　his　mind　than　on　hers。　The　compliment　to　herself　and　her　sister　was　not　unfelt。　It　soothed；　but　it　could　not　console　her　for　the　contempt　which　had　been　thus　self…attracted　by　the　rest　of　her　family；　　and　as　she　considered　that　Jane's　disappointment　had　in　fact　been　the　work　of　her　nearest　relations；　and　reflected　how　materially　the　credit　of　both　must　be　hurt　by　such　impropriety　of　conduct；　she　felt　depressed　beyond　any　thing　she　had　ever　known　before。
After　wandering　along　the　lane　for　two　hours；　giving　way　to　every　variety　of　thought；　re…considering　events；　determining　probabilities；　and　reconciling　herself；　as　well　as　she　could；　to　a　change　so　sudden　and　so　important；　fatigue；　and　a　recollection　of　her　long　absence　made　her　at　length　return　home；　and　she　entered　the　house　with　the　wish　of　appearing　cheerful　as　usual；　and　the　resolution　of　repressing　such　reflections　as　must　make　her　unfit　for　con