50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣)-第8章

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eyes　are　gone；　and　my　teeth　have　been　drawn　by　Time；　the　Thief！　For　
terrible　sights　I've　seen；　and　dangers　great　I've　run　…　I'm　nearly　seventy　
now；　and　my　work　is　almost　done！　

Ah！　I've　been　young　in　my　time；　and　I've　played　the　deuce　with　men！　
I'm　speaking　of　ten　years　past　…　I　was　barely　sixty　then：　My　cheeks　were　
mellow　and　soft；　and　my　eyes　were　large　and　sweet；　POLL　PINEAPPLE'S　
eyes　were　the　standing　toast　of　the　Royal　Fleet！　

A　bumboat　woman　was　I；　and　I　faithfully　served　the　ships　With　apples　
and　cakes；　and　fowls；　and　beer；　and　halfpenny　dips；　And　beef　for　the　
generous　mess；　where　the　officers　dine　at　nights；　And　fine　fresh　
peppermint　drops　for　the　rollicking　midshipmites。　

Of　all　the　kind　commanders　who　anchored　in　Portsmouth　Bay；　By　far　
the　sweetest　of　all　was　kind　LIEUTENANT　BELAYE。'　LIEUTENANT　
BELAYE　commanded　the　gunboat　HOT　CROSS　BUN；　She　was　seven　
and　thirty　feet　in　length；　and　she　carried　a　gun。　

With　a　laudable　view　of　enhancing　his　country's　naval　pride；　When　
people　inquired　her　size；　LIEUTENANT　BELAYE　replied；　〃Oh；　my　ship；　
my　ship　is　the　first　of　the　Hundred　and　Seventy…　ones！〃　Which　meant　her　
tonnage；　but　people　imagined　it　meant　her　guns。　

Whenever　I　went　on　board　he　would　beckon　me　down　below；　〃Come　
down；　Little　Buttercup；　come〃　（for　he　loved　to　call　me　so）；　And　he'd　tell　of　
the　fights　at　sea　in　which　he'd　taken　a　part；　And　so　LIEUTENANT　
BELAYE　won　poor　POLL　PINEAPPLE'S　heart！　

But　at　length　his　orders　came；　and　he　said　one　day；　said　he；　〃I'm　
ordered　to　sail　with　the　HOT　CROSS　BUN　to　the　German　Sea。〃　And　the　
Portsmouth　maidens　wept　when　they　learnt　the　evil　day；　For　every　
Portsmouth　maid　loved　good　LIEUTENANT　BELAYE。　

And　I　went　to　a　back　back　street；　with　plenty　of　cheap　cheap　shops；　

54　



Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

We　sailed　that　afternoon　at　the　mystic　hour　of　one；　…　Remarkably　nice　
young　men　were　the　crew　of　the　HOT　CROSS　BUN；　I'm　sorry　to　say　that　
I've　heard　that　sailors　sometimes　swear；　But　I　never　yet　heard　a　BUN　say　
anything　wrong；　I　declare。　

When　Jack　Tars　meet；　they　meet　with　a　〃Messmate；　ho！　What　cheer？〃　
But　here；　on　the　HOT　CROSS　BUN；　it　was　〃How　do　you　do；　my　dear？〃　
When　Jack　Tars　growl；　I　believe　they　growl　with　a　big　big　D…　But　the　
strongest　oath　of　the　HOT　CROSS　BUNS　was　a　mild　〃Dear　me！〃　

Yet；　though　they　were　all　well…bred；　you　could　scarcely　call　them　slick：　
Whenever　a　sea　was　on；　they　were　all　extremely　sick；　And　whenever　the　
weather　was　calm；　and　the　wind　was　light　and　fair；　They　spent　more　time　
than　a　sailor　should　on　his　back　back　hair。　

They　certainly　shivered　and　shook　when　ordered　aloft　to　run；　And　they　
screamed　when　LIEUTENANT　BELAYE　discharged　his　only　gun。　And　as　
he　was　proud　of　his　gun　…　such　pride　is　hardly　wrong　…　The　Lieutenant　was　
blazing　away　at　intervals　all　day　long。　

They　all　agreed　very　well；　though　at　times　you　heard　it　said　That　BILL　
had　a　way　of　his　own　of　making　his　lips　look　red　…　That　JOE　looked　quite　
his　age　…　or　somebody　might　declare　That　BARNACLE'S　long　pig…tail　was　
never　his　own　own　hair。　

BELAYE　would　admit　that　his　men　were　of　no　great　use　to　him；　〃But；　
then；〃　he　would　say；　〃there　is　little　to　do　on　a　gunboat　trim　I　can　hand；　and　
reef；　and　steer；　and　fire　my　big　gun　too　…　And　it　IS　such　a　treat　to　sail　with　
a　gentle　well…bred　crew。〃　

I　saw　him　every　day。　How　the　happy　moments　sped！　Reef　topsails！　
Make　all　taut！　There's　dirty　weather　ahead！　（I　do　not　mean　that　tempests　
threatened　the　HOT　CROSS　BUN：　In　THAT　case；　I　don't　know　whatever　
we　SHOULD　have　done！）　

After　a　fortnight's　cruise；　we　put　into　port　one　day；　And　off　on　leave　
for　a　week　went　kind　LIEUTENANT　BELAYE；　And　after　a　long　long　
week　had　passed　（and　it　seemed　like　a　life）；　LIEUTENANT　BELAYE　

55　



Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

He　up；　and　he　says；　says　he；　〃O　crew　of　the　HOT　CROSS　BUN；　Here　
is　the　wife　of　my　heart；　for　the　Church　has　made　us　one！〃　And　as　he　
uttered　the　word；　the　crew　went　out　of　their　wits；　And　all　fell　down　in　so　
many　separate　fainting…fits。　

And　then　their　hair　came　down；　or　off；　as　the　case　might　be；　And　lo！　
the　rest　of　the　crew　were　simple　girls；　like　me；　Who　all　had　fled　from　their　
homes　in　a　sailor's　blue　array；　To　follow　the　shifting　fate　of　kind　
LIEUTENANT　BELAYE。　

*　*　*　*　*　*　*　*　

It's　strange　to　think　that　I　should　ever　have　loved　young　men；　But　I'm　
speaking　of　ten　years　past　…　I　was　barely　sixty　then；　And　now　my　cheeks　
are　furrowed　with　grief　and　age；　I　trow！　And　poor　POLL　PINEAPPLE'S　
eyes　have　lost　their　lustre　now！　

56　



Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

MR。　BLAKE　was　a　regular　out…and…out　hardened　sinner；　Who　was　
quite　out　of　the　pale　of　Christianity；　so　to　speak；　He　was　in　the　habit　of　
smoking　a　long　pipe　and　drinking　a　glass　of　grog　on　a　Sunday　after　dinner；　
And　seldom　thought　of　going　to　church　more　than　twice　or　…if　Good　
Friday　or　Christmas　Day　happened　to　come　in　it　…　three　times　a　week。　

He　was　quite　indifferent　as　to　the　particular　kinds　of　dresses　That　the　
clergyman　wore　at　church　where　he　used　to　go　to　pray；　And　whatever　he　
did　in　the　way　of　relieving　a　chap's　distresses；　He　always　did　in　a　nasty；　
sneaking；　underhanded；　hole…and…corner　sort　of　way。　

I　have　known　him　indulge　in　profane；　ungentlemanly　emphatics；　When　
the　Protestant　Church　has　been　divided　on　the　subject　of　the　proper　width　
of　a　chasuble's　hem；　I　have　even　known　him　to　sneer　at　albs　…　and　as　for　
dalmatics；　Words　can't　convey　an　idea　of　the　contempt　he　expressed　for　
THEM。　

He　didn't　believe　in　persons　who；　not　being　well　off　themselves；　are　
obliged　to　confine　their　charitable　exertions　to　collecting　money　from　
wealthier　people；　And　looked　upon　individuals　of　the　former　class　as　
ecclesiastical　hawks；　He　used　to　say　that　he　would　no　more　think　of　
interfering　with　his　priest's　robes　than　with　his　church　or　his　steeple；　And　
that　he　did　not　consider　his　soul　imperilled　because　somebody　over　whom　
he　had　no　influence　whatever；　chose　to　dress　himself　up　like　an　
exaggerated　GUY　FAWKES。　

This　shocking　old　vagabond　was　so　unutterably　shameless　That　he　
actually　went　a…courting　a　very　respectable　and　pious　middle…aged　sister；　
by　the　name　of　BIGGS。　She　was　a　rather　attractive　widow；　whose　life　as　
such　had　always　been　particularly　blameless；　Her　first　husband　had　left　
her　a　secure　but　moderate　competence；　owing　to　some　fortunate　
speculations　in　the　matter　of　figs。　

She　was　an　excellent　person　in　every　way　…　and　won　the　respect　even　
of　MRS。　GRUNDY；　She　was　a　good　housewife；　too；　and　wouldn't　have　
wasted　a　penny　if　she　had　owned　the　Koh…i…noor。　She　was　just　as　strict　as　

57　



Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

I　am　sorry　to　say　that　she　rather　took　to　BLAKE　…　that　outcast　of　
society；　And　when　respectable　brothers　who　were　fond　of　her　began　to　
look　dubious　and　to　cough；　She　would　say；　〃Oh；　my　friends；　it's　because　I　
hope　to　bring　this　poor　benighted　soul　back　to　virtue　and　propriety；　And　
besides；　the　poor　benighted　soul；　with　all　his　faults；　was　uncommonly　well　
off。　

And　when　MR。　BLAKE'S　dissipated　friends　called　his　attention　to　the　
frown　or　the　pout　of　her；　Whenever　he　did　anything　which　appeared　to　her　
to　savour　of　an　unmentionable　place；　He　would　say　that　〃she　would　be　a　
very　decent　old　girl　when　all　that　nonsense　was　knocked　out　of　her；〃　And　
his　method　of　knocking　it　out　of　her　is　one　that　covered　him　with　disgrace。　

She　was　fond　of　going　to　church　services　four　times　every　Sunday；　and；　
four　or　five　times　in　the　week；　and　never　seemed　to　pall　of　them；　So　he　
hunted　out　all　the　churches　within　a　convenient　distance　that　had　services　
at　different　hours；　so　to　speak；　And　when　he　had　married　her　he　positively　
insisted　upon　their　going　to　all　of　them；　So　they　contrived　to　do　about　
twelve　churches　every　Sunday；　and；　if　they　had　luck；　from　twenty…two　to　
twenty…three　in　the　course　of　the　week。　

She　was　fond　of　dropping　his　sovereigns　ostentatiously　into　the　plate；　
and　she　liked　to　see　them　stand　out　rather　conspicuously　against　the　
commonplace　half…crowns　and　shillings；　So　he　took　her　to　all　the　charity　
sermons；　and　if　by　any　extraordinary　chance　there　wasn't　a　charity　sermon　
anywhere；　he　would　drop　a　couple　of　sovereigns　（one　for　him　and　one　for　
her）　into　the　poor…box　at　the　door；　And　as　he　always　deducted　the　sums　
thus　given　in　charity　from　the　housekeeping　money；　and　the　money　he　
allowed　her　for　her　bonnets　and　frillings；　She　soon　began　to　find　that　even　
charity；　if　you　allow　it　to　interfere　with　your　personal　luxuries；　becomes　an　
intolerable　bore。　

On　Sundays　she　was　always　melancholy　and　anything　but　good　
society；　For　that　day　in　her　household　was　a　day　of　sighings　and　sobbings　

58　



Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

After　about　three　months　of　this　sort　of　thing；　taking　the　smooth　with　
the　rough　of　it；　（Blacking　her　own　boots　and　peeling　her　own　potatoes　was　
not　her　notion　of　connubial　bliss）；　MRS。　BLAKE　began　to　find　that　she　
had　pretty　nearly　had　enough　of　it；　And　came；　in　course　of　time；　to　think　
that　BLAKE'S　own　original　line　of　conduct　wasn't　so　much　amiss。　

And　now　that　wicked　person　…　that　detestable　sinner　（〃BELIAL　
BLAKE〃　his　friends　and　well…wishers　call　him　for　his　atrocities）；　And　his　
poor　deluded　victim；　whom　all　her　Christian　brothers　dislike　and　pity　so；　
Go　to　the　parish　church　only　on　Sunday　morning　and　afternoon　and　
occasionally　on　a　week…day；　and　spend　their　evenings　in　connubial　
fondlings　and　affectionate　reciprocities；　And　I　should　like　to　know　where　
in　the　world　（or　rather；　out　of　it）　they　expect　to　go！　

59　



Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　

Fifty　〃Bab〃　Ballads　…　Much　Sound　and　Little　Sense　
S　
VENGEANCE。　


WEARY　at　heart　and　extremely　ill　Was　PALEY　VOLLAIRE　of　
Bromptonville；　In　a　dirty　lodging；　with　fever　down；　Close　to　the　Polygon；　
Somers　Town。　

PALEY　VOLLAIRE　was　an　only　son　（For　why？　His　mother　had　had　
but　one）；　And　PALEY　inherited　gold　and　grounds　Worth　several　hundred　
thousand　pounds。　

But　he；　like　many　a　rich　young　man；　Through　this　magnificent　fortune　
ran；　And　nothing　was　left　for　his　daily　needs　But　duplicate　copies　of　
mortgage…deeds。　

Shabby　and　sorry　and　sorely　sick；　He　slept；　and　dreamt　that　the　clock's　
〃tick；　tick；〃　Was　one　of　the　Fates；　with　a　long　sharp　knife；　Snicking　off　bits　
of　his　shortened　life。　

He　woke　and　counted　the　pips　on　the　walls；　The　outdoor　passengers'　
loud　footfalls；　And　reckoned　all　over；　and　reckoned　again；　The　little　white　
tufts　on　his　counterpane。　

A　medical　man　to　his　bedside　came。　（I　can't　remember　that　doctor's　
name）；　And　said；　〃You'll　die　in　a　very　short　while　If　you　don't　set　sail　for　
Madeira's　isle。〃　

〃Go　to　Madeira？　goodness　me！　I　haven't　the　money　to　pay　your　fee！〃　
〃The