the garden of allah-第63章

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〃Yes；　all；〃　she　whispered。　〃Alreadyand　long　agothat　day　in　the
garden。　When　Iwhen　I　put　my　hands　against　your　foreheaddo　you
remember？　I　gave　you　all；　for　ever。〃

And　as　she　spoke　she　bent　down　her　face　with　a　sort　of　proud
submission　and　put　her　forehead　against　his　heart。

The　purity　in　her　voice　and　in　her　quiet；　simple　action　dazzled　him
like　a　flame　shining　suddenly　in　his　eyes　out　of　blackness。　And　he；
too；　in　that　moment　saw　far　up　above　him　the　beating　of　an　eagle's
wings。　To　each　one　the　other　seemed　to　be　on　high；　and　as　both　looked
up　that　was　their　true　marriage。

〃I　felt　it；〃　he　said；　touching　her　hair　with　his　lips。　〃I　felt　it　in
your　hands。　When　you　touched　me　that　day　it　was　as　if　you　were　giving
me　the　world　and　the　stars。　It　frightened　me　to　receive　so　much。　I
felt　as　if　I　had　no　place　to　put　my　gift　in。〃

〃Did　your　heart　seem　so　small？〃　she　said。

〃You　make　everything　I　have　and　am　seem　smalland　yet　great。　What
does　it　mean？〃

〃That　you　are　great；　as　I　am；　because　we　love。　No　one　is　small　who
loves。　No　one　is　poor；　no　one　is　bad；　who　loves。　Love　burns　up　evil。
It's　the　angel　that　destroys。〃

Her　words　seemed　to　send　through　his　whole　body　a　quivering　joy。　He
took　her　face　between　his　hands　and　lifted　it　from　his　heart。

〃Is　that　true？　Is　that　true？〃　he　said。　〃I'veI've　tried　to　think
that。　If　you　know　how　I've　tried。〃

〃And　don't　you　know　it　is　true？〃

〃I　don't　feel　as　if　I　knew　anything　that　you　do　not　tell　me　to…night。
I　don't　feel　as　if　I　have；　or　am；　anything　but　what　you　give　me；　make
me　to…night。　Can　you　understand　that？　Can　you　understand　what　you　are
to　me？　That　you　are　everything；　that　I　have　nothing　else；　that　I　have
never　had　anything　else　in　all　these　years　that　I　have　lived　and　that
I　have　forgotten？　Can　you　understand　it？　You　said　just　now　'Speak　to
me；　tell　me　all　you　are。'　That's　what　I　am；　all　I　am；　a　man　you　have
made　a　man。　You；　Dominiyou　have　made　me　a　man；　you　have　created　me。〃

She　was　silent。　The　intensity　with　which　he　spoke；　the　intensity　of
his　eyes　while　he　was　speaking；　made　her　hear　those　rushing　waters　as
if　she　were　being　swept　away　by　them。

〃And　you？〃　he　said。　〃You？〃

〃I？〃

〃This　afternoon　in　the　desert；　when　we　were　in　the　sand　looking　at
Beni…Mora；　you　began　to　tell　me　something　and　then　you　stopped。　And
you　said；　'I　can't　tell　you。　There's　too　much　light。'　Now　the　sun　has
gone。〃

〃Yes。　Butbut　I　want　to　listen　to　you。　I　want〃

She　stopped。　In　the　distance；　by　the　great　fire　where　the　Arabs　were
assembled；　there　rose　a　sound　of　music　which　arrested　her　attention。
Ali　was　singing；　holding　in　his　hand　a　brand　from　the　fire　like　a
torch。　She　had　heard　him　sing　before；　and　had　loved　the　timbre　of　his
voice；　but　only　now　did　she　realise　when　she　had　first　heard　him　and
who　he　was。　It　was　he　who；　hidden　from　her；　had　sung　the　song　of　the
freed　negroes　of　Touggourt　in　the　gardens　of　Count　Anteoni　that　day
when　she　had　been　angry　with　Androvsky　and　had　afterwards　been
reconciled　with　him。　And　she　knew　now　it　was　he；　because；　once　more
hidden　from　herfor　against　the　curtain　of　darkness　she　only　saw　the
flame　from　the　torch　he　held　and　moved　rhythmically　to　the　burden　of
his　songhe　was　singing　it　again。　Androvsky；　when　she　ceased　to
speak；　suddenly　put　his　arms　round　her；　as　if　he　were　afraid　of　her
escaping　from　him　in　her　silence；　and　they　stood　thus　at　the　tent　door
listening：

　〃The　gazelle　dies　in　the　water；
　　The　fish　dies　in　the　air；
　　And　I　die　in　the　dunes　of　the　desert　sand
　　For　my　love　that　is　deep　and　sad。〃

The　chorus　of　hidden　men　by　the　fire　rose　in　a　low　murmur　that　was
like　the　whisper　of　the　desert　in　the　night。　Then　the　contralto　voice
of　Ali　came　to　Domini　and　Androvsky　again；　but　very　faintly；　from　the
distance　where　the　flaming　torch　was　moving：

　〃No　one　but　God　and　I
　　Knows　what　is　in　my　heart。〃

When　the　voice　died　away　for　a　moment　Domini　whispered　the　refrain。
Then　she　said：

〃But　is　it　true？　Can　it　be　true　for　us　to…night？〃

Androvsky　did　not　reply。

〃I　don't　think　it　is　true；〃　she　added。　〃You　knowdon't　you？〃

The　voice　of　Ali　rose　again；　and　his　torch　flickered　on　the　soft　wind
of　the　night。　Its　movement　was　slow　and　eerie。　It　seemed　like　his
voice　made　visible；　a　voice　of　flame　in　the　blackness　of　the　world。
They　watched　it。　Presently　she　said　once　more：

〃You　know　what　is　in　my　heartdon't　you？〃

〃Do　I？〃　he　said。　〃All？〃

〃All。　My　heart　is　full　of　one　thingquite　full。〃

〃Then　I　know。〃

〃And；〃　she　hesitated；　then　added；　〃and　yours？〃

〃Mine　too。〃

〃I　know　all　that　is　in　it　then？〃

She　still　spoke　questioningly。　He　did　not　reply；　but　held　her　more
closely；　with　a　grasp　that　was　feverish　in　its　intensity。

〃Do　you　remember；〃　she　went　on；　〃in　the　garden　what　you　said　about
that　song？〃

〃No。〃

〃You　have　forgotten？〃

〃I　told　you；〃　he　said；　〃I　mean　to　forget　everything。〃

〃Everything　before　we　came　to　Beni…Mora？〃

〃And　more。　Everything　before　you　put　your　hands　against　my　forehead；
Domini。　Your　touch　blotted　out　the　past。〃

〃Even　the　past　at　Beni…Mora？〃

〃Yes；　even　that。　There　are　many　things　I　did　and　left　undone；　many
things　I　said　and　never　said　thatI　have　forgottenI　have　forgotten
for　ever。〃

There　was　a　sternness　in　his　voice　now；　a　fiery　intention。

〃I　understand；〃　she　said。　〃I　have　forgotten　them　too；　but　not　some
things。〃

〃Which？〃

〃Not　that　night　when　you　took　me　out　of　the　dancing…house；　not　our
ride　to　Sidi…Zerzour；　notthere　are　things　I　shall　remember。　When　I
am　dying；　after　I　am　dead；　I　shall　remember　them。〃

The　song　faded　away。　The　torch　was　still；　then　fell　downwards　and
became　one　with　the　fire。　Then　Androvsky　drew　Domini　down　beside　him
on　to　the　warm　earth　before　the　tent　door；　and　held　her　hand　in　his
against　the　earth。

〃Feel　it；〃　he　said。　〃It's　our　home；　it's　our　liberty。　Does　it　feel
alive　to　you？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃As　if　it　had　pulses；　like　the　pulses　in　our　hearts；　and　knew　what　we
know？〃

〃Yes。　Mother　EarthI　never　understood　what　that　meant　till　to…night。〃

〃We　are　beginning　to　understand　together。　Who　can　understand　anything
alone？〃

He　kept　her　hand　always　in　his　pressed　against　the　desert　as　against　a
heart。　They　both　thought　of　it　as　a　heart　that　was　full　of　love　and
protection　for　them；　of　understanding　of　them。　Going　back　to　their
words　before　the　song　of　Ali；　he　said：

〃Love　burns　up　evil；　then　love　can　never　be　evil。〃

〃Not　the　act　of　loving。〃

〃Or　what　it　leads　to；〃　he　said。

And　again　there　was　a　sort　of　sternness　in　his　voice；　as　if　he　were
insisting　on　something；　were　bent　on　conquering　some　reluctance；　or
some　voice　contradicting。

〃I　know　that　you　are　right；〃　he　added。

She　did　not　speak；　butwhy　she　did　not　knowher　thought　went　to　the
wooden　crucifix　fastened　in　the　canvas　of　the　tent　close　by；　and　for　a
moment　she　felt　a　faint　creeping　sadness　in　her。　But　he　pressed　her
hand　more　closely；　and　she　was　conscious　only　of　these　two　warmths…
of　his　hand　above　her　hand　and　of　the　desert　beneath　it。　Her　whole
life　seemed　set　in　a　glory　of　fire；　in　a　heat　that　was　life…giving；
that　dominated　her　and　evoked　at　the　same　time　all　of　power　that　was
in　her；　causing　her　dormant　fires；　physical　and　spiritual；　to　blaze　up
as　if　they　were　sheltered　and　fanned。　The　thought　of　the　crucifix
faded。　It　was　as　if　the　fire　destroyed　it　and　it　became　ashesthen
nothing。　She　fixed　her　eyes　on　the　distant　fire　of　the　Arabs；　which
was　beginning　to　die　down　slowly　as　the　night　grew　deeper。

〃I　have　doubted　many　things；〃　he　said。　〃I've　been　afraid。〃

〃You！〃　she　said。

〃Yes。　You　know　it。〃

〃How　can　I？　Haven't　I　forgotten　everythingsince　that　day　in　the
garden？〃

He　drew　up　her　hand　and　put　it　against　his　heart。

〃I'm　jealous　of　the　desert　even；〃　he　whispered。　〃I　won't　let　you　touch
it　any　more　tonight。〃

He　looked　into　her　eyes　and　saw　that　she　was　looking　at　the　distant
fire；　steadily；　with　an　intense　eagerness。

〃Why　do　you　do　that？〃　he　said。

〃To…night　I　like　to　look　at　fire；〃　she　answered。

〃Tell　me　why。〃

〃It　is　as　if　I　looked　at　you；　at　all　that　there　is　in　you　that　you
have　never　said；　never　been　able　to　say　to　me；　all　that　you　never　can
say　to　me　but　that　I　know　all　the　same。〃

〃But；〃　he　said；　〃that　fire　is〃

He　did　not　finish　the　sentence；　but　put　up　his　hand　and　turned　her
face　till　she　was　looking；　not　at　the　fire；　but　at　him。

〃It　is　not　like　me；〃　he　said。　〃Men　made　it；　andit's　a　fire　that　can
sink　into　ashes。〃

An　expression　of　sudden　exaltation　shone　in　her　eyes。

〃And　God　made　you；〃　she　said。　〃And　put　into　you　the　spark　that　is
eternal。〃

And　now　again　she　thought；　she　dared；　she　loved　to　think　of　the
crucifix　and　of　the　moment　when　he　would　see　it　in　the　tent。

〃And　God　made　you　love　me；〃　she　said。　〃What　is　it？〃

Androvsky　had　moved　suddenly；　as　if　he　were　going　to　get　up　from　the
warm　ground。

〃Did　you？〃

〃No；〃　he　said　in　a　low　voice。　〃Go　on；　Domini。　Speak　to　me。〃

He　sat　still。

A　sudden　longing　came　to　her　to　know　if　to…night　he　were　feeling　as
she　was　the　sacredness　of　their　relation　to　each　other。　Never　had　they
spoken　intimately　of　religion　or　of　the　mysteries　that　lie　beyond　and
around　human　life。　Once　or　twice；　when　she　had　been　about　to　open　her
heart　to　him；　to　let　him　understand　her　deep　sense　of　the　things
unseen；　something　had　checked　her；　something　in　him。　It　was　as　if　he
had　divined　her　intention　and　had　subtly　turned　her　from　it；　without
speech；　merely　by　the　force　of　his　inward　determination　that　she
should　not　break　through　his　reserve。　But　to…night；　with　his　hand　on
hers　and　the　starry　darkness　above　them；　with　the　waste　stretching
around　them；　and　the　cool　air　that　was　like　the　breath　of　liberty　upon
their　faces；　she　was　unconscious　of　any　secret；　combative　force　in
him。　It　was　impossible　to　her　to　think　there　could　have　been　any
combat；　however　inward；　however　subtle；　between　them。　Surely　if　it
were　ever　permitted　to　two　natures　to　be　in　perfect　accord　theirs　were
in　perfect　accord　to…night。

〃I　never　felt　the　presence　of　God　in　His　world　so　keenly　as　I　feel　it
to…night；〃　she　went　on；　drawing　a　little　closer　to　him。　〃Even　in　the
church　to…day　He　seemed　farther　away　than　tonight。　But　somehowone
has　these　thoughts　without　knowing　whyI　have　always　believed　that
the　farther　I　went　into　the　desert　the　nearer　I　should　come　to　God。〃

Androvsky　moved　again。　The　clasp　of　his　hand　on　hers　loosened；　but　he
did　not　take　his　hand　away。

〃Why　shouldwhat　should　make　you　think　that？〃　he　asked　slowly。

〃Don't　you　know　what　the　Arabs　call　the　desert？〃

〃No。　What　do　they　call　it？〃

〃The　Garden　of　Allah。〃

〃The　Garden　of　Allah！〃　he　repeated。

There　was　a　sound　like　fear　in　his　voice。　Even　her　great　joy　did　not
prevent　her　from　noticing　it；　and　she　remembered；　with　a　thrill　of
pain；　where　and　under　what　circumstances　she　had　first　heard　the
Arab's　name　for　the　desert。

Could　it　be　that　this　man　she　loved　was　secretly　afraid　of　something
in　the　desert；　some　influence；　some？　Her　thought　stopped　short；　like
a　thing　confused。

〃Don't　you　think　it　a　very　beautiful　name？〃　she　asked；　with　an　almost
fierce　longing　to　be　reassured；　to　be　made　to　know　that　he；　like　her；
loved　the