the garden of allah-第75章

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crowd　with　the　man　she　loved　she　rejoiced　in　it。　Androvsky　was　the
cause　of　both　her　joys；　joy　in　the　waste　and　joy　in　Amara；　but　while
he　shared　the　one　he　did　not　share　the　other。

This　did　not　surprise　her　because　of　the　conditions　in　which　he　had
lived。　He　was　country…bred　and　had　always　dwelt　far　from　towns。　She
was　returning　to　an　old　experienceold；　for　the　London　crowd　and　the
crowd　of　Amara　were　both　crowds　of　men；　however　differentwith　a　mind
transformed　by　happiness。　To　him　the　experience　was　new。　Something
within　her　told　her　that　it　was　necessary；　that　it　had　been　ordained
because　he　needed　it。　The　recalled　town…sense；　with　its　sharpness　of
observation；　persisted。　As　she　rode　in　to　Amara　she　had　seemed　to
herself　to　be　reading　Androvsky　with　an　almost　merciless　penetration
which　yet　she　could　not　check。　Now　she　did　not　wish　to　check　it；　for
the　penetration　that　is　founded　on　perfect　love　can　only　yield　good
fruit。　It　seemed　to　her　that　she　was　allowed　to　see　clearly　for
Androvsky　what　he　could　not　see　himself；　almost　as　the　mother　sees　for
the　child。　This　contact　with　the　crowds　of　Amara　was；　she　thought；　one
of　the　gifts　the　desert　made　to　him。　He　did　not　like　it。　He　wished　to
reject　it。　But　he　was　mistaken。　For　the　moment　his　vision　was　clouded；
as　our　vision　for　ourselves　so　often　is。　She　realised　this；　and；　for
the　first　time　since　the　marriage　service　at　Beni…Mora；　perhaps　seemed
to　be　selfish。　She　opposed　his　wish。　Hitherto　there　had　never　been　any
sort　of　contest　between　them。　Their　desires；　like　their　hearts；　had
been　in　accord。　Now　there　was　not　a　contest；　for　Androvsky　yielded　to
Domini's　preference；　when　she　expressed　it；　with　a　quickness　that　set
his　passion　before　her　in　a　new　and　beautiful　light。　But　she　knew
that；　for　the　moment；　they　were　not　in　accord。　He　hated　and　dreaded
what　she　encountered　with　a　vivid　sensation　of　sympathy　and　joy。

She　felt　that　there　was　something　morbid　in　his　horror　of　the　crowd；
and　the　same　strength　of　her　nature　said　to　her；　〃Uproot　it！〃

Their　camp　was　pitched　on　the　sand…hills；　to　the　north　of　the　city
near　the　French　and　Arab　cemeteries。　They　reached　it　only　when
darkness　was　falling；　going　out　of　the　city　on　foot　by　the　great　wall
of　dressed　stone　which　enclosed　the　Kasba　of　the　native　soldiers；　and
ascending　and　descending　various　slopes　of　deep　sand；　over　which　the
airs　of　night　blew　with　a　peculiar　thin　freshness　that　renewed
Domini's　sense　of　being　at　the　end　of　the　world。　Everything　here
whispered　the　same　message；　said；　〃We　are　the　denizens　of　far…away。〃

In　their　walk　to　the　camp　they　were　accompanied　by　a　little
procession。　Shabah；　the　Caid　of　Amara；　a　shortish　man　whose　immense
dignity　made　him　almost　gigantic；　insisted　upon　attending　them　to　the
tents；　with　his　young　brother；　a　pretty；　libertine　boy　of　sixteen；　the
brother's　tutor；　an　Arab　black　as　a　negro　but　without　the　negro's　look
of　having　been　freshly　oiled；　and　two　attendants。　To　them　joined
himself　the　Caid　of　the　Nomads；　a　swarthy　potentate　who　not　only
looked；　but　actually　was；　immense；　his　four　servants；　and　his　uncle；　a
venerable　person　like　a　shepherd　king。　These　worthies　surrounded
Domini　and　Androvsky；　and　behind　streamed　the　curious；　the　envious；
the　greedy　and　the　desultory　Arabs；　who　follow　in　the　trail　of　every
stranger；　hopeful　of　the　crumbs　that　are　said　to　fall　from　the　rich
man's　table。　Shabah　spoke　French　and　led　the　conversation；　which　was
devoted　chiefly　to　his　condition　of　health。　Some　years　before　an
attempt　had　been　made　upon　his　life　by　poison；　and　since　that　time；　as
he　himself　expressed　it；　his　stomach　had　been　〃perturbed　as　a　guard
dog　in　the　night　when　robbers　are　approaching。〃　All　efforts　to　console
or　to　inspire　him　with　hope　of　future　cure　were　met　with　a　stern
hopelessness；　a　brusque　certainty　of　perpetual　suffering。　The　idea
that　his　stomach　could　again　know　peace　evidently　shocked　and
distressed　him；　and　as　they　all　waded　together　through　the　sand；
pioneered　by　the　glorified　Batouch；　Domini　was　obliged　to　yield　to　his
emphatic　despair；　and　to　join　with　him　in　his　appreciation　of　the
perpetual　indigestion　which　set　him　apart　from　the　rest　of　the　world
like　some　God　within　a　shrine。　The　skittish　boy；　his　brother；　who　wore
kid　gloves；　cast　at　her　sly　glances　of　admiration　which　asked　for　a
return。　The　black　tutor　grinned。　And　the　Caid　of　the　Nomads　punctuated
their　progress　with　loud　grunts　of　heavy　satisfaction；　occasionally
making　use　of　Batouch　as　interpreter　to　express　his　hopes　that　they
would　visit　his　palace　in　the　town；　and　devour　a　cous…cous　on　his
carpet。

When　they　came　to　the　tents　it　was　necessary　to　entertain　these
personages　with　coffee；　and　they　finally　departed　promising　a　speedy
return；　and　full　of　invitations；　which　were　cordially　accepted　by
Batouch　on　his　employer's　behalf　before　either　Domini　or　Androvsky　had
time　to　say　a　word。

As　the　/cortege/　disappeared　over　the　sands　towards　the　city　Domini
burst　into　a　little　laugh；　and　drew　Androvsky　out　to　the　tent　door　to
see　them　go。

〃Society　in　the　sands！〃　she　exclaimed　gaily。　〃Boris；　this　is　a　new
experience。　Look　at　our　guests　making　their　way　to　their　palaces！〃

Slowly　the　potentates　progressed　across　the　white　dunes　towards　the
city。　Shabah　wore　a　long　red　cloak。　His　brother　was　in　pink　and　gold；
with　white　billowing　trousers。　The　Caid　of　the　Nomads　was　in　green。
They　all　moved　with　a　large　and　conscious　majesty；　surrounded　by　their
obsequious　attendants。　Above　them　the　purple　sky　showed　a　bright
evening　star。　Near　it　was　visible　the　delicate　silhouette　of　the　young
moon。　Scattered　over　the　waste　rose　many　koubbahs；　grey　in　the　white；
with　cupolas　of　gypse。　Hundreds　of　dogs　were　barking　in　the　distance。
To　the　left；　on　the　vast；　rolling　slopes　of　sand；　glared　the
innumerable　fires　kindled　before　the　tents　of　the　Ouled　Nails。　Before
the　sleeping　tent　rose　the　minarets　and　the　gilded　cupolas　of　the　city
which　it　dominated　from　its　mountain　of　sand。　Behind　it　was　the
blanched　immensity　of　the　plain；　of　the　lonely　desert　from　which
Domini　and　Androvsky　had　come　to　face　this　barbaric　stir　of　life。　And
the　city　was　full　of　music；　of　tomtoms　throbbing；　of　bugles　blowing　in
the　Kasba；　of　pipes　shrieking　from　hidden　dwellings；　and　of　the　faint
but　multitudinous　voices　of　men；　carried　to　them　on　their　desolate　and
treeless　height　by　the　frail　wind　of　night　that　seemed　a　white　wind；
twin…brother　of　the　sands。

〃Let　us　go　a　step　or　two　towards　the　city；　Boris；〃　Domini　said；　as
their　guests　sank　magnificently　down　into　a　fold　of　the　dunes。

〃Towards　the　city！〃　he　answered。　〃Why　not？〃　He　glanced　behind　him　to
the　vacant；　noiseless　sands。

She　set　her　impulse　against　his　for　the　first　time。

〃No；　this　is　our　town　life；　our　Sahara　season。　Let　us　give　ourselves
to　it。　The　loneliness　will　be　its　antidote　some　day。〃

〃Very　well；　Domini；〃　he　answered。

They　went　a　little　way　towards　the　city；　and　stood　still　in　the　sand
at　the　edge　of　their　height。

〃Listen；　Boris！　Isn't　it　strange　in　the　night　all　this　barbaric　music？
It　excites　me。〃

〃You　are　glad　to　be　here。〃

She　heard　the　note　of　disappointment　in　his　voice；　but　did　not　respond
to　it。

〃And　look　at　all　those　fires；　hundreds　of　them　in　the　sand！〃

〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃it　is　wonderful；　but　the　solitudes　are　best。　This　is
not　the　heart　of　the　desert；　this　is　what　the　Arabs　call　it；　'The
belly　of　the　Desert。'　In　the　heart　of　the　desert　there　is　silence。〃

She　thought　of　the　falling　of　the　wind　when　the　Sahara　took　them；　and
knew　that　her　love　of　the　silence　was　intense。　Nevertheless；　to…night
the　other　part　of　her　was　in　the　ascendant。　She　wanted　him　to　share
it。　He　did　not。　Could　she　provoke　him　to　share　it？

〃Yet；　as　we　rode　in；　I　had　a　feeling　that　the　heart　of　the　desert　was
here；〃　she　said。　〃You　know　I　said　so。〃

〃Do　you　say　so　still？〃

〃The　heart；　Boris；　is　the　centre　of　life；　isn't　it？〃

He　was　silent。　She　felt　his　inner　feeling　fighting　hers。

〃To…night；〃　she　said；　putting　her　arm　through　his；　and　looking　towards
the　city。　〃I　feel　a　tremendous　sympathy　with　human　life　such　as　I
never　felt　before。　Boris；　it　comes　to　me　from　you。　Yes；　it　does。　It　is
born　of　my　love　for　you；　and　seems　to　link　me；　and　you　with　me；　to　all
these　strangers；　to　all　men　and　women；　to　everything　that　lives。　It　is
as　if　I　was　not　quite　human　before；　and　my　love　for　you　had　made　me
completely　human；　had　done　something　to　me　that　eveneven　my　love　for
God　had　not　been　able　to　do。〃

She　lowered　her　voice　at　the　last　words。　After　a　moment　she　added：

〃Perhaps　in　isolation；　even　with　you；　I　could　not　come　to
completeness。　Perhaps　you　could　not　in　isolation　even　with　me。　Boris；
I　think　it's　good　for　us　to　be　in　the　midst　of　life　for　a　time。〃

〃You　wish　to　remain　here；　Domini？〃

〃Yes；　for　a　time。〃

The　fatalistic　feeling　that　had　sometimes　come　upon　her　in　this　land
entered　into　her　at　this　moment。　She　felt；　〃It　is　written　that　we　are
to　remain　here。〃

〃Let　us　remain　here；　Domini；〃　he　said　quietly。

The　note　of　disappointment　had　gone　out　of　his　voice；　deliberately
banished　from　it　by　his　love　for　her；　but　she　seemed　to　hear　it；
nevertheless；　echoing　far　down　in　his　soul。　At　that　moment　she　loved
him　like　a　woman　he　had　made　a　lover；　but　also　like　a　woman　he　had
made　a　mother　by　becoming　a　child。

〃Thank　you；　Boris；〃　she　answered　very　quietly。　〃You　are　good　to　me。〃

〃You　are　good　to　me；〃　he　said；　remembering　the　last　words　of　Father
Roubier。　〃How　can　I　be　anything　else？〃

Directly　he　had　spoken　the　words　his　body　trembled　violently。

〃Boris；　what　is　it？〃　she　exclaimed；　startled。

He　took　his　arm　away　from　hers。

〃Thesethese　noises　of　the　city　in　the　night　coming　across　the　sand…
hills　are　extraordinary。　I　have　become　so　used　to　silence　that　perhaps
they　get　upon　my　nerves。　I　shall　grow　accustomed　to　them　presently。〃

He　turned　towards　the　tents；　and　she　went　with　him。　It　seemed　to　her
that　he　had　evaded　her　question；　that　he　had　not　wished　to　answer　it；
and　the　sense　sharply　awakened　in　her　by　a　return　to　life　near　a　city
made　her　probe　for　the　reason　of　this。　She　did　not　find　it；　but　in　her
mental　search　she　found　herself　presently　at　Mogar。　It　seemed　to　her
that　the　same　sort　of　uneasiness　which　had　beset　her　husband　at　Mogar
beset　him　now　more　fiercely　at　Amara；　that；　as　he　had　just　said；　his
nerves　were　being　tortured　by　something。　But　it　could　not　be　the
noises　from　the　city。

After　dinner　Batouch　came　to　the　tent　to　suggest　that　they　should　go
down　with　him　into　the　city。　Domini；　feeling　certain　that　Androvsky
would　not　wish　to　go；　at　once　refused；　alleging　that　she　was　tired。
Batouch　then　asked　Androvsky　to　go　with　him；　and；　to　Domini's
astonishment；　he　said　that　if　she　did　not　mind　his　leaving　her　for　a
short　time　he　would　like　a　stroll。

〃Perhaps；〃　he　said　to　her；　as　Batouch　and　he　were　starting；　〃perhaps
it　will　make　me　more　completely　human；　perhaps　there　is　something
still　to　be　done　that　even　you；　Domini；　have　not　accomplished。〃

She　knew　he　was　alluding　to　her　words　before　dinner。　He　stood　looking
at　her　with　a　slight　smile　that　did　not　suggest　happiness；　then　added：

〃That　link　you　spok