the garden of allah-第98章

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wore　hats　with　large　hanging　veils。　The　men　were　in　travelling　suits。
They　looked　sunburnt　and　gay；　and　talked　and　laughed　with　an　intense
vivacity。　Afterwards　they　were　going　in　a　body　to　see　the　dances　of
the　Almees。　Androvsky　shot　one　glance　at　them　as　he　came　in；　then
looked　away　quickly。　The　lines　near　his　mouth　deepened。　For　a　moment
he　shut　his　eyes。　Domini　did　not　speak　to　him；　did　not　attempt　to
talk。　Enveloped　by　the　nasal　uproar　of　the　gay　tourists　they　ate　in
silence。　When　the　short　meal　was　over　they　got　up　and　went　out　into
the　hall。　The　public　drawing…room　opened　out　of　it　on　the　left。　They
looked　into　it　and　saw　red　plush　settees；　a　large　centre　table　covered
with　a　rummage　of　newspapers；　a　Jew　with　a　bald　head　writing　a　letter；
and　two　old　German　ladies　with　caps　drinking　coffee　and　knitting
stockings。

〃The　desert！〃　Androvsky　whispered。

Suddenly　he　drew　away　from　the　door　and　walked　out　into　the　street。
Lines　of　carriages　stood　there　waiting　to　be　hired。　He　beckoned　to
one；　a　victoria　with　a　pair　of　small　Arab　horses。　When　it　was　in　front
of　the　hotel　he　said　to　Domini：

〃Will　you　get　in；　Domini？〃

She　obeyed。　Androvsky　said　to　the　mettse　driver：

〃Drive　to　the　Belvedere。　Drive　round　the　park　till　I　tell　you　to
return。〃

The　man　whipped　his　horses；　and　they　rattled　down　the　broad　street；
past　the　brilliantly…lighted　cafes；　the　Cercle　Militaire；　the　palace
of　the　Resident；　where　Zouaves　were　standing；　turned　to　the　left　and
were　soon　out　on　a　road　where　a　tram　line　stretched　between　villas；
waste　ground　and　flat　fields。　In　front　of　them　rose　a　hill　with　a
darkness　of　trees　scattered　over　it。　They　reached　it；　and　began　to
mount　it　slowly。　The　lights　of　the　city　shone　below　them。　Domini　saw
great　sloping　lawns　dotted　with　streets　and　by　trees。　Scents　of　hidden
flowers　came　to　her　in　the　night；　and　she　heard　a　whirr　of　insects。
Still　they　mounted；　and　presently　reached　the　top　of　the　hill。

〃Stop！〃　said　Androvsky　to　the　driver。

He　drew　up　his　horses。

〃Wait　for　us　here。〃

Androvsky　got　out。

〃Shall　we　walk　a　little　way？〃　he　said　to　Domini。

〃Yesyes。〃

She　got　out　too；　and　they　walked　slowly　along　the　deserted　road。　Below
them　she　saw　the　lights　of　ships　gliding　upon　the　lakes；　the　bright
eyes　of　a　lighthouse；　the　distant　lamps　of　scattered　villages　along
the　shores；　and；　very　far　off；　a　yellow　gleam　that　dominated　the　sea
beyond　the　lakes　and　seemed　to　watch　patiently　all　those　who　came　and
went；　the　pilgrims　to　and　from　Africa。　That　gleam　shone　in　Carthage。

From　the　sea　over　the　flats　came　to　them　a　breeze　that　had　a　savour　of
freshness；　of　cool　and　delicate　life。

They　walked　for　some　time　without　speaking；　then　Domini　said：

〃From　the　cemetery　of　El…Largani　you　looked　out　over　this；　didn't　you；
Boris？〃

〃Yes；　Domini；〃　he　answered。　〃It　was　then　that　the　voice　spoke　to　me。〃

〃It　will　never　speak　again。　God　will　not　let　it　speak　again。〃

〃How　can　you　know　that？〃

〃We　are　tried　in　the　fire；　Boris；　but　we　are　not　burnt　to　death。〃

She　said　it　for　herself；　to　reassure　herself；　to　give　a　little　comfort
to　her　own　soul。

〃To…night　I　feel　as　if　it　were　not　so；〃　he　answered。　〃When　we　came　to
the　hotel　it　seemedI　thought　that　I　could　not　go　on。〃

〃And　now？〃

〃Now　I　do　not　know　anything　except　that　this　is　my　last　night　with
you。　And；　Domini；　that　seems　to　me　to　be　absolutely　incredible
although　I　know　it。　I　cannot　imagine　any　future　away　from　you；　any
life　in　which　I　do　not　see　you。　I　feel　as　if　in　parting　from　you　I　am
parting　from　myself；　as　if　the　thing　left　would　be　no　more　a　man；　but
only　a　broken　husk。　Can　I　pray　without　you；　love　God　without　you？〃

〃Best　without　me。〃

〃But　can　I　live　without　you；　Domini？　Can　I　wake　day　after　day　to　the
sunshine；　and　know　that　I　shall　never　see　you　again；　and　go　on　living？
Can　I　do　that？　I　don't　feel　as　if　it　could　be。　Perhaps；　when　I　have
done　my　penance；　God　will　have　mercy。〃

〃How；　Boris？〃

〃Perhaps　He　will　let　me　die。〃

〃Let　us　fix　all　the　thoughts　of　our　hearts　on　the　life　in　which　He　may
let　us　be　together　once　more。　Look；　Boris；　there　are　lights　in　the
darkness；　there　will　always　be　lights。〃

〃I　can't　see　them；〃　he　said。

She　looked　at　him　and　saw　that　tears　were　running　down　his　cheeks。
Again；　on　this　last　night　of　companionship；　God　summoned　her　to　be
strong　for　him。　On　the　edge　of　the　hill；　close　to　them；　she　saw　a
Moorish　temple　built　of　marble；　with　narrow　arches　and　columns；　and
marble　seats。

〃Let　us　sit　here　for　a　moment；　Boris；〃　she　said。

He　followed　her　up　the　marble　steps。　Two　or　three　times　he　stumbled；
but　she　did　not　give　him　her　hand。　They　sat　down　between　the　slender
columns　and　looked　out　over　the　city；　whose　blanched　domes　and
minarets　were　faintly　visible　in　the　night。　Androvsky　was　shaken　with
sobs。

〃How　can　I　part　from　you？〃　he　said　brokenly。　〃How　am　I　to　do　it？　How
can　Ihow　can　I？　Why　was　I　given　this　love　for　you；　this　terrible
thing；　this　crying　out；　this　reaching　out　of　the　flesh　and　heart　and
soul　to　you？　DominiDominiwhat　does　it　all　meanthis　mystery　of
torturethis　scourging　of　the　bodythis　tearing　in　pieces　of　my　soul
and　yours？　Domini；　shall　we　knowshall　we　ever　know？〃

〃I　am　sure　we　shall　know；　we　shall　all　know　some　day；　the　meaning　of
the　mystery　of　pain。　And　then；　perhaps；　then　surely；　we　shall　each　of
us　be　glad　that　we　have　suffered。　The　suffering　will　make　the　glory　of
our　happiness。　Even　now　sometimes　when　I　am　suffering；　Boris；　I　feel
as　if　there　were　a　kind　of　splendour；　even　a　kind　of　nobility　in　what
I　am　doing；　as　if　I　were　proving　my　own　soul；　proving　the　force　that
God　has　put　into　me。　Boris；　let　usyou　and　Ilearn　to　say　in　all
this　terror；　'I　am　unconquered；　I　am　unconquerable。'〃

〃I　feel　that　I　could　say　that；　be　it　in　the　most　frightful
circumstances；　if　only　I　could　sometimes　see　youeven　far　away　as　now
I　see　those　lights。〃

〃You　will　see　me　in　your　prayers　every　day；　and　I　shall　see　you　in
mine。〃

〃But　the　cry　of　the　body；　Domini；　of　the　eyes；　of　the　hands；　to　see；
to　touchit's　so　fierce；　it's　soit's　so〃

〃I　know；　I　hear　it　too；　always。　But　there　is　another　voice；　which　will
be　strong　when　the　other　has　faded　into　eternal　silence。　In　all　bodily
things；　even　the　most　beautiful；　there　is　something　finite。　We　must
reach　out　our　poor；　feeble；　trembling　hands　to　the　infinite。　I　think
everyone　who　is　born　does　that　through　life；　often　without　being
conscious　of　it。　We　shall　do　it　consciously；　you　and　I。　We　shall　be
able　to　do　it　because　of　our　dreadful　suffering。　We　shall　want；　we
shall　have　to　do　it；　youwhere　you　are　going；　and　I〃

〃Where　will　you　be？〃

〃I　don't　know；　I　don't　know。　I　won't　think　of　the　afterwards　now；　in
these　last　few　hoursin　these　last〃

Her　voice　faltered　and　broke。　Then　the　tears　came　to　her　also；　and　for
a　while　she　could　not　see　the　distant　lights。

Then　she　spoke　again；　she　said：

〃Boris；　let　us　go　now。〃

He　got　up　without　a　word。　They　found　the　carriage　and　drove　back　to
Tunis。

When　they　reached　the　hotel　they　came　into　the　midst　of　the　American
tourists；　who　were　excitedly　discussing　the　dances　they　had　seen；　and
calling　for　cooling　drinks　to　allay　the　thirst　created　by　the　heat　of
the　close　rooms　of　Oriental　houses。

Early　next　morning　a　carriage　was　at　the　door。　When　they　had　got　into
it　the　coachman　looked　round。

〃Where　shall　I　drive　to；　Monsieur？〃

Androvsky　looked　at　him　and　made　no　reply。

〃To　El…Largani；〃　Domini　said。

〃To　the　monastery；　Madame？〃

He　whistled　to　his　horses　gaily。　As　they　trotted　on　bells　chimed　about
their　necks；　chimed　a　merry　peal　to　the　sunshine　that　lay　over　the
land。　They　passed　soldiers　marching；　and　heard　the　call　of　bugles；　the
rattle　of　drums。　And　each　sound　seemed　distant　and　each　moving　figure
far　away。　This　world　of　Africa；　fiercely　distinct　in　the　clear　air
under　the　cloudless　sky；　was　unreal　to　them　both；　was　vague　as　a
northern　land　wrapped　in　a　mist　of　autumn。　The　unreal　was　about　them。
Within　themselves　was　the　real。　They　sat　beside　each　other　without
speaking。　Words　to　them　now　were　useless　things。　What　more　had　they　to
say？　Everything　and　nothing。　Lifetimes　would　not　have　been　long　enough
for　them　to　speak　their　thoughts　for　each　other；　of　each　other；　to
speak　their　emotions；　all　that　was　in　their　minds　and　hearts　during
that　drive　from　the　city　to　the　monastery　that　stood　upon　the　hill。
Yet　did　not　their　mutual　action　of　that　morning　say　all　that　need　be
said？　The　silence　of　the　Trappists　surely　floated　out　to　them　over　the
plains　and　the　pale　waters　of　the　bitter　lakes　and　held　them　silent。

But　the　bells　on　the　horses'　necks　rang　always　gaily；　and　the
coachman；　who　would　presently　drive　Domini　back　alone　to　Tunis；
whistled　and　sang　on　his　high　seat。

Presently　they　came　to　a　great　wooden　cross　standing　on　a　pedestal　of
stone　by　the　roadside　at　the　edge　of　a　grove　of　olive　trees。　It　marked
the　beginning　of　the　domain　of　El…Largani。　When　Domini　saw　it　she
looked　at　Androvsky；　and　his　eyes　answered　her　silent　question。　The
coachman　whipped　his　horses　into　a　canter；　as　if　he　were　in　haste　to
reach　his　destination。　He　was　thinking　of　the　good　red　wine　of　the
monks。　In　a　cloud　of　white　dust　the　carriage　rolled　onwards　between
vineyards　in　which；　here　and　there；　labourers　were　working；　sheltered
from　the　sun　by　immense　straw　hats。　A　long　line　of　waggons；　laden　with
barrels　and　drawn　by　mules　covered　with　bells；　sheltered　from　the
flies　by　leaves；　met　them。　In　the　distance　Domini　saw　forests　of
eucalyptus　trees。　Suddenly　it　seemed　to　her　as　if　she　saw　Androvsky
coming　from　them　towards　the　white　road；　helping　a　man　who　was　pale；
and　who　stumbled　as　if　half…fainting；　yet　whose　face　was　full　of　a
fierce　passion　of　joythe　stranger　whose　influence　had　driven　him　out
of　the　monastery　into　the　world。　She　bent　down　her　head　and　hid　her
face　in　her　hands；　praying；　praying　with　all　her　strength　for　courage
in　this　supreme　moment　of　her　life。　But　almost　directly　the　prayers
died　on　her　lips　and　in　her　heart；　and　she　found　herself　repeating　the
words　of　/The　Imitation/：

〃Love　watcheth；　and　sleeping；　slumbereth　not。　When　weary　it　is　not
tired；　when　straitened　it　is　not　constrained；　when　frightened　it　is
not　disturbed；　but　like　a　vivid　flame　and　a　burning　torch　it　mounteth
upwards　and　securely　passeth　through　all。　Whosoever　loveth　knoweth　the
cry　of　this　voice。〃

Again　and　again　she　said　the　words：　〃It　securely　passeth　through　all
it　securely　passeth　through　all。〃　Now；　at　last；　she　was　to　know　the
uttermost　truth　of　those　words　which　she　had　loved　in　her　happiness；
which　she　clung　to　now　as　a　little　child　clings　to　its　father's　hand。

The　carriage　turned　to　the　right；　went　on　a　little　way；　then　stopped。

Domini　lifted　her　face　from　her　hands。　She　saw　before　her　a　great　door
which　stood　open。　Above　it　was　a　statue　of　the　Madonna　and　Child；　and
on　either　side　were　two　angels　with　swords　and　stars。　Underneath　was
written；　in　great　letters：

JANUA　COELI。

Beyond；　through　the　doorway；　she　saw　an　open　space　upon　which　the
sunlight　streamed；　three　palm　trees；　and　a　second　door　which　was　shut。
Above　this　second　door　was　written：

〃/Les　dames　n'entrent　pas