father goriot(高老头)-第43章
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〃And besides； father dear； it would only be a drop in the bucket；〃 observed the Countess。
〃But is flesh and blood worth nothing？〃 cried the old man in his despair。 〃I would give body and soul to save you； Nasie。 I would do a murder for the man who would rescue you。 I would do； as Vautrin did； go to the hulks； go〃 he stopped as if struck by a thunderbolt； and put both hands to his head。 〃Nothing left！〃 he cried； tearing his hair。 〃If I only knew of a way to steal money； but it is so hard to do it； and then you can't set to work by yourself； and it takes time to rob a bank。 Yes； it is time I was dead； there is nothing left me to do but to die。 I am no good in the world； I am no longer a father！ No。 She has come to me in her extremity； and； wretch that I am； I have nothing to give her。 Ah！ you put your money into a life annuity； old scoundrel； and had you not daughters？ You did not love them。 Die； die in a ditch； like the dog that you are！ Yes； I am worse than a dog； a beast would not have done as I have done！ Oh！ my head 。 。 。 it throbs as if it would burst。〃
〃Papa！〃 cried both the young women at once； 〃do； pray； be reasonable！〃 and they clung to him to prevent him from dashing his head against the wall。 There was a sound of sobbing。
Eugene； greatly alarmed； took the bill that bore Vautrin's signature； saw that the stamp would suffice for a larger sum； altered the figures； made it into a regular bill for twelve thousand francs； payable to Goriot's order； and went to his neighbor's room。
〃Here is the money； madame；〃 he said； handing the piece of paper to her。 〃I was asleep； your conversation awoke me； and by this means I learned all that I owed to M。 Goriot。 This bill can be discounted； and I shall meet it punctually at the due date。〃
The Countess stood motionless and speechless； but she held the bill in her fingers。
〃Delphine；〃 she said； with a white face； and her whole frame quivering with indignation； anger； and rage； 〃I forgave you everything； God is my witness that I forgave you； but I cannot forgive this！ So this gentleman was there all the time； and you knew it！ Your petty spite has let you to wreak your vengeance on me by betraying my secrets； my life； my children's lives； my shame； my honor！ There； you are nothing to me any longer。 I hate you。 I will do all that I can to injure you。 I will 。 。 。〃
Anger paralyzed her； the words died in her dry parched throat。
〃Why； he is my son； my child； he is your brother； your preserver！〃 cried Goriot。 〃Kiss his hand； Nasie！ Stay； I will embrace him myself；〃 he said； straining Eugene to his breast in a frenzied clasp。 〃Oh my boy！ I will be more than a father to you； if I had God's power； I would fling worlds at your feet。 Why don't you kiss him； Nasie？ He is not a man； but an angel； a angel out of heaven。〃
〃Never mind her； father； she is mad just now。〃
〃Mad！ am I？ And what are you？〃 cried Mme。 de Restaud。
〃Children； children； I shall die if you go on like this；〃 cried the old man； and he staggered and fell on the bed as if a bullet had struck him。〃They are killing me between them；〃 he said to himself。
The Countess fixed her eyes on Eugene； who stood stock still； all his faculties were numbed by this violent scene。
〃Sir？ 。 。 。〃 she said； doubt and inquiry in her face； tone； and bearing； she took no notice now of her father nor of Delphine； who was hastily unfastening his waistcoat。
〃Madame；〃 said Eugene； answering the question before it was asked； 〃I will meet the bill； and keep silence about it。〃
〃You have killed our father； Nasie！〃 said Delphine； pointing to Goriot； who lay unconscious on the bed。 The Countess fled。
〃I freely forgive her；〃 said the old man； opening his eyes； 〃her position is horrible； it would turn an older head than hers。 Comfort Nasie； and be nice to her； Delphine； promise it to your poor father before he dies；〃 he asked； holding Delphine's hand in a convulsive clasp。
〃Oh！ what ails you； father？〃 she cried in real alarm。
〃Nothing； nothing；〃 said Goriot； 〃it will go off。 There is something heavy pressing on my forehead； a little headache。 。 。 。 Ah！ poor Nasie； what a life lies before her！〃
Just as he spoke； the Countess came back again and flung herself on her knees before him。 〃Forgive me！〃 she cried。
〃Come；〃 said her father； 〃you are hurting me still more。〃
〃Monsieur；〃 the Countess said； turning to Rastignac； 〃misery made me unjust to you。 You will be a brother to me； will you not？〃 and she held out her hand。 Her eyes were full of tears as she spoke。
〃Nasie；〃 cried Delphine； flinging her arms round her sister； 〃my little Nasie； let us forget and forgive。〃
〃No； no；〃 cried Nasie； 〃I shall never forget！〃
〃Dear angels；〃 cried Goriot； 〃it is as if a dark curtain over my eyes had been raised； your voices have called me back to life。 Kiss each other once more。 Well； now； Nasie； that bill will save you； won't it？〃
〃I hope so。 I say； papa； will you write your name on it？〃
〃There！ how stupid of me to forget that！ But I am not feeling at all well； Nasie； so you must not remember it against me。 Send and let me know as soon as you are out of your strait。 No； I will go to you。 No； after all； I will not go； I might meet your husband； and I should kill him on the spot。 And as for signing away your property； I shall have a word to say about that。 Quick； my child； and keep Maxime in order in future。〃
Eugene was too bewildered to speak。
〃Poor Anastasie； she always had a violent temper；〃 said Mme。 de Nucingen； 〃but she has a good heart。〃
〃She came back for the endorsement；〃 said Eugene in Delphine's ear。
〃Do you think so？〃
〃I only wish I could think otherwise。 Do not trust her；〃 he answered； raising his eyes as if he confided to heaven the thoughts that he did not venture to express。
〃Yes。 She is always acting a part to some extent。〃
〃How do you feel now； dear Father Goriot？〃 asked Rastignac。
〃I should like to go to sleep；〃 he replied。
Eugene helped him to bed； and Delphine sat by the bedside； holding his hand until he fell asleep。 Then she went。
〃This evening at the Italiens；〃 she said to Eugene； 〃and you can let me know how he is。 To…morrow you will leave this place； monsieur。 Let us go into your room。Oh！ how frightful！〃 she cried on the threshold。 〃Why； you are even worse lodged than our father。 Eugene； you have behaved well。 I would love you more if that were possible； but； dear boy； if you are to succeed in life； you must not begin by flinging twelve thousand francs out of the windows like that。 The Comte de Trailles is a confirmed gambler。 My sister shuts her eyes to it。 He would have made the twelve thousand francs in the same way that he wins and loses heaps of gold。〃
A groan from the next room brought them back to Goriot's bedside； to all appearances he was asleep； but the two lovers caught the words； 〃They are not happy！〃 Whether he was awake or sleeping； the tone in which they were spoken went to his daughter's heart。 She stole up to the pallet…bed on which her father lay； and kissed his forehead。 He opened his eyes。
〃Ah！ Delphine！〃 he said。
〃How are you now？〃 she asked。
〃Quite comfortable。 Do not worry about me； I shall get up presently。 Don't stay with me； children； go； go and be happy。〃
Eugene went back with Delphine as far as her door； but he was not easy about Goriot； and would not stay to dinner； as she proposed。 He wanted to be back at the Maison Vauquer。 Father Goriot had left his room； and was just sitting down to dinner as he came in。 Bianchon had placed himself where he could watch the old man carefully； and when the old vermicelli maker took up his square of bread and smelled it to find out the quality of the flour； the medical student； studying him closely； saw that the action was purely mechanical； and shook his head。
〃Just come and sit over here； hospitaller of Cochin；〃 said Eugene。
Bianchon went the more willingly because his change of place brought him next to the old lodger。
〃What is wrong with him？〃 asked Rastignac。
〃It is all up with him； or I am much mistaken！ Something very extraordinary must have taken place； he looks to me as if he were in imminent danger of serous apoplexy。 The lower part of his face is composed enough； but the upper part is drawn and distorted。 Then there is that peculiar look about the eyes that indicates an effusion of serum in the brain； they look as though they were covered with a film of fine dust； do you notice？ I shall know more about it by to…morrow morning。〃
〃Is there any cure for it？〃
〃None。 It might be possible to stave death off for a time if a way could be found of setting up a reaction in the lower extremities； but if the symptoms do not abate by to…morrow evening； it will be all over with him； poor old fellow！ Do you know what has happened to bring this on？ There must have been some violent shock； and his mind has given way。〃
〃Yes； there was；〃 said Rastignac； remembering how the two daughters had struck blow on blow at their father's heart。
〃But Delphine at any rate loves her father；〃 he said to himself。
That evening at the opera Rastignac chose his words carefully； lest he should give Mme。 de Nucingen needless alarm。
〃Do not be anxious about him；〃 she said； however； as soon as Eugene began； 〃our father has really a strong constitution； but this morning we gave him a shock。 Our whole fortunes were in peril； so the thing was serious； you see。 I could not live if your affection did not make me insensible to troubles that I should once have thought too hard to bear。 At this moment I have but one fear left； but one misery to dreadto lose the love that has made me feel glad to live。 Everything else is as nothing to me compared with our love； I care for nothing else； for you are all the world to me。 If I feel glad to be rich； it is for your sake。 To my shame be it said； I think of my lover before my father。 Do you ask why？ I cannot tell you； but all my life is in you。 My father gave me a heart； but you have taught it to beat。 The whole world may condemn me； what does it matter if I stand acquitted in your eyes； for you have no right to think ill of me for the faults which a tyrannous love has forced me to commit for you！ Do you think me an unnatural daughter？ Oh！ no； no one could help loving such a dear kind father as ours。 But how could I hide the inevitable consequences of our miserable marriages from him？ Why did he allow us to marry when we did？ Was it not his duty to think for us and foresee for us？ To…day I know he suffers as much as we do； but how can it be helped？ And as for comforting him； we could not comfort him in the least。 Our resignation would give him more pain and hurt him far more than complaints and upbraidings。 There are times in life when everything turns to bitterness。〃
Eugene was silent； the artless and sincere outpouring made an impression on him。
Parisian women are often false； intoxicated with vanity； selfish and self…absorbed； frivolous and shallow； yet of all women； when they love； they sacrifice their personal feelings to their passion； they rise but so much the higher for all the pettiness overcome in their nature； and become sublime。 Then Eugene was struck by the profound discernment and insight displayed by this woman in judging of natural affection； wh
