the uncommercial traveller-第15章

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smell　of　grass　which　rain　does　bring　in　the　summer…time。



The　dim　appearance　of　a　man　at　Straudenheim's　shoulder；　inspired　me

with　a　misgiving　that　somebody　had　come　to　murder　that　flourishing

merchant　for　the　wealth　with　which　I　had　handsomely　endowed　him：

the　rather；　as　it　was　an　excited　man；　lean　and　long　of　figure；　and

evidently　stealthy　of　foot。　　But；　he　conferred　with　Straudenheim

instead　of　doing　him　a　mortal　injury；　and　then　they　both　softly

opened　the　other　window　of　that　room　…　which　was　immediately　over

the　housekeeper's　…　and　tried　to　see　her　by　looking　down。　　And　my

opinion　of　Straudenheim　was　much　lowered　when　I　saw　that　eminent

citizen　spit　out　of　window；　clearly　with　the　hope　of　spitting　on

the　housekeeper。



The　unconscious　housekeeper　fanned　herself；　tossed　her　head；　and

laughed。　　Though　unconscious　of　Straudenheim；　she　was　conscious　of

somebody　else　…　of　me？　…　there　was　nobody　else。



After　leaning　so　far　out　of　the　window；　that　I　confidently　expected

to　see　their　heels　tilt　up；　Straudenheim　and　the　lean　man　drew

their　heads　in　and　shut　the　window。　　Presently；　the　house　door

secretly　opened；　and　they　slowly　and　spitefully　crept　forth　into

the　pouring　rain。　　They　were　coming　over　to　me　（I　thought）　to

demand　satisfaction　for　my　looking　at　the　housekeeper；　when　they

plunged　into　a　recess　in　the　architecture　under　my　window　and

dragged　out　the　puniest　of　little　soldiers；　begirt　with　the　most

innocent　of　little　swords。　　The　tall　glazed　head…dress　of　this

warrior；　Straudenheim　instantly　knocked　off；　and　out　of　it　fell　two

sugar…sticks；　and　three　or　four　large　lumps　of　sugar。



The　warrior　made　no　effort　to　recover　his　property　or　to　pick　up

his　shako；　but　looked　with　an　expression　of　attention　at

Straudenheim　when　he　kicked　him　five　times；　and　also　at　the　lean

man　when　HE　kicked　him　five　times；　and　again　at　Straudenheim　when

he　tore　the　breast　of　his　（the　warrior's）　little　coat　open；　and

shook　all　his　ten　fingers　in　his　face；　as　if　they　were　ten

thousand。　　When　these　outrages　had　been　committed；　Straudenheim　and

his　man　went　into　the　house　again　and　barred　the　door。　　A　wonderful

circumstance　was；　that　the　housekeeper　who　saw　it　all　（and　who

could　have　taken　six　such　warriors　to　her　buxom　bosom　at　once）；

only　fanned　herself　and　laughed　as　she　had　laughed　before；　and

seemed　to　have　no　opinion　about　it；　one　way　or　other。



But；　the　chief　effect　of　the　drama　was　the　remarkable　vengeance

taken　by　the　little　warrior。　　Left　alone　in　the　rain；　he　picked　up

his　shako；　put　it　on；　all　wet　and　dirty　as　it　was；　retired　into　a

court；　of　which　Straudenheim's　house　formed　the　corner；　wheeled

about；　and　bringing　his　two　forefingers　close　to　the　top　of　his

nose；　rubbed　them　over　one　another；　cross…wise；　in　derision；

defiance；　and　contempt　of　Straudenheim。　　Although　Straudenheim

could　not　possibly　be　supposed　to　be　conscious　of　this　strange

proceeding；　it　so　inflated　and　comforted　the　little　warrior's　soul；

that　twice　he　went　away；　and　twice　came　back　into　the　court　to

repeat　it；　as　though　it　must　goad　his　enemy　to　madness。　　Not　only

that；　but　he　afterwards　came　back　with　two　other　small　warriors；

and　they　all　three　did　it　together。　　Not　only　that　…　as　I　live　to

tell　the　tale！　…　but　just　as　it　was　falling　quite　dark；　the　three

came　back；　bringing　with　them　a　huge　bearded　Sapper；　whom　they

moved；　by　recital　of　the　original　wrong；　to　go　through　the　same

performance；　with　the　same　complete　absence　of　all　possible

knowledge　of　it　on　the　part　of　Straudenheim。　　And　then　they　all

went　away；　arm　in　arm；　singing。



I　went　away　too；　in　the　German　chariot　at　sunrise；　and　rattled　on；

day　after　day；　like　one　in　a　sweet　dream；　with　so　many　clear　little

bells　on　the　harness　of　the　horses；　that　the　nursery　rhyme　about

Banbury　Cross　and　the　venerable　lady　who　rode　in　state　there；　was

always　in　my　ears。　　And　now　I　came　to　the　land　of　wooden　houses；

innocent　cakes；　thin　butter　soup；　and　spotless　little　inn　bedrooms

with　a　family　likeness　to　Dairies。　　And　now　the　Swiss　marksmen　were

for　ever　rifle…shooting　at　marks　across　gorges；　so　exceedingly　near

my　ear；　that　I　felt　like　a　new　Gesler　in　a　Canton　of　Tells；　and

went　in　highly…deserved　danger　of　my　tyrannical　life。　　The　prizes

at　these　shootings；　were　watches；　smart　handkerchiefs；　hats；

spoons；　and　（above　all）　tea…trays；　and　at　these　contests　I　came

upon　a　more　than　usually　accomplished　and　amiable　countryman　of　my

own；　who　had　shot　himself　deaf　in　whole　years　of　competition；　and

had　won　so　many　tea…trays　that　he　went　about　the　country　with　his

carriage　full　of　them；　like　a　glorified　Cheap…Jack。



In　the　mountain…country　into　which　I　had　now　travelled；　a　yoke　of

oxen　were　sometimes　hooked　on　before　the　post…horses；　and　I　went

lumbering　up；　up；　up；　through　mist　and　rain；　with　the　roar　of

falling　water　for　change　of　music。　　Of　a　sudden；　mist　and　rain

would　clear　away；　and　I　would　come　down　into　picturesque　little

towns　with　gleaming　spires　and　odd　towers；　and　would　stroll　afoot

into　market…places　in　steep　winding　streets；　where　a　hundred　women

in　bodices；　sold　eggs　and　honey；　butter　and　fruit；　and　suckled

their　children　as　they　sat　by　their　clean　baskets；　and　had　such

enormous　goitres　（or　glandular　swellings　in　the　throat）　that　it

became　a　science　to　know　where　the　nurse　ended　and　the　child　began。

About　this　time；　I　deserted　my　German　chariot　for　the　back　of　a

mule　（in　colour　and　consistency　so　very　like　a　dusty　old　hair　trunk

I　once　had　at　school；　that　I　half　expected　to　see　my　initials　in

brass…headed　nails　on　his　backbone）；　and　went　up　a　thousand　rugged

ways；　and　looked　down　at　a　thousand　woods　of　fir　and　pine；　and

would　on　the　whole　have　preferred　my　mule's　keeping　a　little　nearer

to　the　inside；　and　not　usually　travelling　with　a　hoof　or　two　over

the　precipice　…　though　much　consoled　by　explanation　that　this　was

to　be　attributed　to　his　great　sagacity；　by　reason　of　his　carrying

broad　loads　of　wood　at　other　times；　and　not　being　clear　but　that　I

myself　belonged　to　that　station　of　life；　and　required　as　much　room

as　they。　　He　brought　me　safely；　in　his　own　wise　way；　among　the

passes　of　the　Alps；　and　here　I　enjoyed　a　dozen　climates　a　day；

being　now　（like　Don　Quixote　on　the　back　of　the　wooden　horse）　in　the

region　of　wind；　now　in　the　region　of　fire；　now　in　the　region　of

unmelting　ice　and　snow。　　Here；　I　passed　over　trembling　domes　of

ice；　beneath　which　the　cataract　was　roaring；　and　here　was　received

under　arches　of　icicles；　of　unspeakable　beauty；　and　here　the　sweet

air　was　so　bracing　and　so　light；　that　at　halting…times　I　rolled　in

the　snow　when　I　saw　my　mule　do　it；　thinking　that　he　must　know　best。

At　this　part　of　the　journey　we　would　come；　at　mid…day；　into　half　an

hour's　thaw：　　when　the　rough　mountain　inn　would　be　found　on　an

island　of　deep　mud　in　a　sea　of　snow；　while　the　baiting　strings　of

mules；　and　the　carts　full　of　casks　and　bales；　which　had　been　in　an

Arctic　condition　a　mile　off；　would　steam　again。　　By　such　ways　and

means；　I　would　come　to　the　cluster　of　chalets　where　I　had　to　turn

out　of　the　track　to　see　the　waterfall；　and　then；　uttering　a　howl

like　a　young　giant；　on　espying　a　traveller　…　in　other　words；

something　to　eat　…　coming　up　the　steep；　the　idiot　lying　on　the

wood…pile　who　sunned　himself　and　nursed　his　goitre；　would　rouse　the

woman…guide　within　the　hut；　who　would　stream　out　hastily；　throwing

her　child　over　one　of　her　shoulders　and　her　goitre　over　the　other；

as　she　came　along。　　I　slept　at　religious　houses；　and　bleak　refuges

of　many　kinds；　on　this　journey；　and　by　the　stove　at　night　heard

stories　of　travellers　who　had　perished　within　call；　in　wreaths　and

drifts　of　snow。　　One　night　the　stove　within；　and　the　cold　outside；

awakened　childish　associations　long　forgotten；　and　I　dreamed　I　was

in　Russia　…　the　identical　serf　out　of　a　picture…book　I　had；　before

I　could　read　it　for　myself　…　and　that　I　was　going　to　be　knouted　by

a　noble　personage　in　a　fur　cap；　boots；　and　earrings；　who；　I　think；

must　have　come　out　of　some　melodrama。



Commend　me　to　the　beautiful　waters　among　these　mountains！　　Though　I

was　not　of　their　mind：　　they；　being　inveterately　bent　on　getting

down　into　the　level　country；　and　I　ardently　desiring　to　linger

where　I　was。　　What　desperate　leaps　they　took；　what　dark　abysses

they　plunged　into；　what　rocks　they　wore　away；　what　echoes　they

invoked！　　In　one　part　where　I　went；　they　were　pressed　into　the

service　of　carrying　wood　down；　to　be　burnt　next　winter；　as　costly

fuel；　in　Italy。　　But；　their　fierce　savage　nature　was　not　to　be

easily　constrained；　and　they　fought　with　every　limb　of　the　wood；

whirling　it　round　and　round；　stripping　its　bark　away；　dashing　it

against　pointed　corners；　driving　it　out　of　the　course；　and　roaring

and　flying　at　the　peasants　who　steered　it　back　again　from　the　bank

with　long　stout　poles。　　Alas！　concurrent　streams　of　time　and　water

carried　ME　down　fast；　and　I　came；　on　an　exquisitely　clear　day；　to

the　Lausanne　shore　of　the　Lake　of　Geneva；　where　I　stood　looking　at

the　bright　blue　water；　the　flushed　white　mountains　opposite；　and

the　boats　at　my　feet　with　their　furled　Mediterranean　sails；　showing

like　enormous　magnifications　of　this　goose…quill　pen　that　is　now　in

my　hand。



…　The　sky　became　overcast　without　any　notice；　a　wind　very　like　the

March　east　wind　of　England；　blew　across　me；　and　a　voice　said；　'How

do　you　like　it？　　Will　it　do？'



I　had　merely　shut　myself；　for　half　a　minute；　in　a　German　travelling

chariot　that　stood　for　sale　in　the　Carriage　Department　of　the

London　Pantechnicon。　　I　had　a　commission　to　buy　it；　for　a　friend

who　was　going　abroad；　and　the　look　and　manner　of　the　chariot；　as　I

tried　the　cushions　and　the　springs；　brought　all　these　hints　of

travelling　remembrance　before　me。



'It　will　do　very　well；'　said　I；　rather　sorrowfully；　as　I　got　out　at

the　other　door；　and　shut　the　carriage　up。







CHAPTER　VIII　…　THE　GREAT　TASMANIA'S　CARGO







I　travel　constantly；　up　and　down　a　certain　line　of　railway　that　has

a　terminus　in　London。　　It　is　the　railway　for　a　large　military

depot；　and　for　other　large　barracks。　　To　the　best　of　my　serious

belief；　I　have　never　been　on　that　railway　by　daylight；　without

seeing　some　handcuffed　deserters　in　the　train。



It　is　in　the　nature　of　things　that　such　an　institution　as　our

English　army　should　have　many　bad　and　troublesome　characters　in　it。

But；　this　is　a　reason　for；　and　not　against；　its　being　made　as

acceptable　as　possible　to　well…disposed　men　of　decent　behaviour。

Such　men　are　assuredly　not　tempted　into　the　ranks；　by　the　beastly

inversion　of　natural　laws；　and　the　compulsion　to　live　in　worse　than

swinish　foulness。　　Accordingly；　when　any　such　Circumlocutional

embellishments　of　the　soldier's　condition　have　of　late　been　brought

to　notice；　we　civilians；　seated　in　outer　darkness　cheerfully

meditating　on　an　Income　Tax；　have　considered　t