the uncommercial traveller-第30章

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cockloft　to　the　core　of　its　inmost　truffle　in　three…quarters　of　an

hour。　　This；　however；　was　not　the　most　curious　feature　of　those

chambers；　that；　consisted　in　the　profound　conviction　entertained　by

my　esteemed　friend　Parkle　（their　tenant）　that　they　were　clean。

Whether　it　was　an　inborn　hallucination；　or　whether　it　was　imparted

to　him　by　Mrs。　Miggot　the　laundress；　I　never　could　ascertain。　　But；

I　believe　he　would　have　gone　to　the　stake　upon　the　question。　　Now；

they　were　so　dirty　that　I　could　take　off　the　distinctest　impression

of　my　figure　on　any　article　of　furniture　by　merely　lounging　upon　it

for　a　few　moments；　and　it　used　to　be　a　private　amusement　of　mine　to

print　myself　off　…　if　I　may　use　the　expression　…　all　over　the

rooms。　　It　was　the　first　large　circulation　I　had。　　At　other　times　I

have　accidentally　shaken　a　window　curtain　while　in　animated

conversation　with　Parkle；　and　struggling　insects　which　were

certainly　red；　and　were　certainly　not　ladybirds；　have　dropped　on

the　back　of　my　hand。　　Yet　Parkle　lived　in　that　top　set　years；　bound

body　and　soul　to　the　superstition　that　they　were　clean。　　He　used　to

say；　when　congratulated　upon　them；　'Well；　they　are　not　like

chambers　in　one　respect；　you　know；　they　are　clean。'　　Concurrently；

he　had　an　idea　which　he　could　never　explain；　that　Mrs。　Miggot　was

in　some　way　connected　with　the　Church。　　When　he　was　in　particularly

good　spirits；　he　used　to　believe　that　a　deceased　uncle　of　hers　had

been　a　Dean；　when　he　was　poorly　and　low；　he　believed　that　her

brother　had　been　a　Curate。　　I　and　Mrs。　Miggot　（she　was　a　genteel

woman）　were　on　confidential　terms；　but　I　never　knew　her　to　commit

herself　to　any　distinct　assertion　on　the　subject；　she　merely

claimed　a　proprietorship　in　the　Church；　by　looking　when　it　was

mentioned；　as　if　the　reference　awakened　the　slumbering　Past；　and

were　personal。　　It　may　have　been　his　amiable　confidence　in　Mrs。

Miggot's　better　days　that　inspired　my　friend　with　his　delusion

respecting　the　chambers；　but　he　never　wavered　in　his　fidelity　to　it

for　a　moment；　though　he　wallowed　in　dirt　seven　years。



Two　of　the　windows　of　these　chambers　looked　down　into　the　garden；

and　we　have　sat　up　there　together　many　a　summer　evening；　saying　how

pleasant　it　was；　and　talking　of　many　things。　　To　my　intimacy　with

that　top　set；　I　am　indebted　for　three　of　my　liveliest　personal

impressions　of　the　loneliness　of　life　in　chambers。　　They　shall

follow　here；　in　order；　first；　second；　and　third。



First。　　My　Gray's　Inn　friend；　on　a　time；　hurt　one　of　his　legs；　and

it　became　seriously　inflamed。　　Not　knowing　of　his　indisposition；　I

was　on　my　way　to　visit　him　as　usual；　one　summer　evening；　when　I　was

much　surprised　by　meeting　a　lively　leech　in　Field…court；　Gray's

Inn；　seemingly　on　his　way　to　the　West　End　of　London。　　As　the　leech

was　alone；　and　was　of　course　unable　to　explain　his　position；　even

if　he　had　been　inclined　to　do　so　（which　he　had　not　the　appearance

of　being）；　I　passed　him　and　went　on。　　Turning　the　corner　of　Gray's

Inn…square；　I　was　beyond　expression　amazed　by　meeting　another　leech

…　also　entirely　alone；　and　also　proceeding　in　a　westerly　direction；

though　with　less　decision　of　purpose。　　Ruminating　on　this

extraordinary　circumstance；　and　endeavouring　to　remember　whether　I

had　ever　read；　in　the　Philosophical　Transactions　or　any　work　on

Natural　History；　of　a　migration　of　Leeches；　I　ascended　to　the　top

set；　past　the　dreary　series　of　closed　outer　doors　of　offices　and　an

empty　set　or　two；　which　intervened　between　that　lofty　region　and

the　surface。　　Entering　my　friend's　rooms；　I　found　him　stretched

upon　his　back；　like　Prometheus　Bound；　with　a　perfectly　demented

ticket…porter　in　attendance　on　him　instead　of　the　Vulture：　　which

helpless　individual；　who　was　feeble　and　frightened；　and　had　（my

friend　explained　to　me；　in　great　choler）　been　endeavouring　for　some

hours　to　apply　leeches　to　his　leg；　and　as　yet　had　only　got　on　two

out　of　twenty。　　To　this　Unfortunate's　distraction　between　a　damp

cloth　on　which　he　had　placed　the　leeches　to　freshen　them；　and　the

wrathful　adjurations　of　my　friend　to　'Stick　'em　on；　sir！'　I

referred　the　phenomenon　I　had　encountered：　　the　rather　as　two　fine

specimens　were　at　that　moment　going　out　at　the　door；　while　a

general　insurrection　of　the　rest　was　in　progress　on　the　table。

After　a　while　our　united　efforts　prevailed；　and；　when　the　leeches

came　off　and　had　recovered　their　spirits；　we　carefully　tied　them　up

in　a　decanter。　　But　I　never　heard　more　of　them　than　that　they　were

all　gone　next　morning；　and　that　the　Out…of…door　young　man　of

Bickle；　Bush　and　Bodger；　on　the　ground　floor；　had　been　bitten　and

blooded　by　some　creature　not　identified。　　They　never　'took'　on　Mrs。

Miggot；　the　laundress；　but；　I　have　always　preserved　fresh；　the

belief　that　she　unconsciously　carried　several　about　her；　until　they

gradually　found　openings　in　life。



Second。　　On　the　same　staircase　with　my　friend　Parkle；　and　on　the

same　floor；　there　lived　a　man　of　law　who　pursued　his　business

elsewhere；　and　used　those　chambers　as　his　place　of　residence。　　For

three　or　four　years；　Parkle　rather　knew　of　him　than　knew　him；　but

after　that　…　for　Englishmen　…　short　pause　of　consideration；　they

began　to　speak。　　Parkle　exchanged　words　with　him　in　his　private

character　only；　and　knew　nothing　of　his　business　ways；　or　means。

He　was　a　man　a　good　deal　about　town；　but　always　alone。　　We　used　to

remark　to　one　another；　that　although　we　often　encountered　him　in

theatres；　concert…rooms；　and　similar　public　places；　he　was　always

alone。　　Yet　he　was　not　a　gloomy　man；　and　was　of　a　decidedly

conversational　turn；　insomuch　that　he　would　sometimes　of　an　evening

lounge　with　a　cigar　in　his　mouth；　half　in　and　half　out　of　Parkle's

rooms；　and　discuss　the　topics　of　the　day　by　the　hour。　　He　used　to

hint　on　these　occasions　that　he　had　four　faults　to　find　with　life；

firstly；　that　it　obliged　a　man　to　be　always　winding　up　his　watch；

secondly；　that　London　was　too　small；　thirdly；　that　it　therefore

wanted　variety；　fourthly；　that　there　was　too　much　dust　in　it。

There　was　so　much　dust　in　his　own　faded　chambers；　certainly；　that

they　reminded　me　of　a　sepulchre；　furnished　in　prophetic

anticipation　of　the　present　time；　which　had　newly　been　brought　to

light；　after　having　remained　buried　a　few　thousand　years。　　One　dry；

hot　autumn　evening　at　twilight；　this　man；　being　then　five　years

turned　of　fifty；　looked　in　upon　Parkle　in　his　usual　lounging　way；

with　his　cigar　in　his　mouth　as　usual；　and　said；　'I　am　going　out　of

town。'　　As　he　never　went　out　of　town；　Parkle　said；　'Oh　indeed！　　At

last？'　　'Yes；'　says　he；　'at　last。　　For　what　is　a　man　to　do？　　London

is　so　small！　　If　you　go　West；　you　come　to　Hounslow。　　If　you　go

East；　you　come　to　Bow。　　If　you　go　South；　there's　Brixton　or

Norwood。　　If　you　go　North；　you　can't　get　rid　of　Barnet。　　Then；　the

monotony　of　all　the　streets；　streets；　streets　…　and　of　all　the

roads；　roads；　roads　…　and　the　dust；　dust；　dust！'　　When　he　had　said

this；　he　wished　Parkle　a　good　evening；　but　came　back　again　and

said；　with　his　watch　in　his　hand；　'Oh；　I　really　cannot　go　on

winding　up　this　watch　over　and　over　again；　I　wish　you　would　take

care　of　it。'　　So；　Parkle　laughed　and　consented；　and　the　man　went

out　of　town。　　The　man　remained　out　of　town　so　long；　that　his

letter…box　became　choked；　and　no　more　letters　could　be　got　into　it；

and　they　began　to　be　left　at　the　lodge　and　to　accumulate　there。　　At

last　the　head…porter　decided；　on　conference　with　the　steward；　to

use　his　master…key　and　look　into　the　chambers；　and　give　them　the

benefit　of　a　whiff　of　air。　　Then；　it　was　found　that　he　had　hanged

himself　to　his　bedstead；　and　had　left　this　written　memorandum：　　'I

should　prefer　to　be　cut　down　by　my　neighbour　and　friend　（if　he　will

allow　me　to　call　him　so）；　H。　Parkle；　Esq。'　　This　was　an　end　of

Parkle's　occupancy　of　chambers。　　He　went　into　lodgings　immediately。



Third。　　While　Parkle　lived　in　Gray's　Inn；　and　I　myself　was

uncommercially　preparing　for　the　Bar　…　which　is　done；　as　everybody

knows；　by　having　a　frayed　old　gown　put　on　in　a　pantry　by　an　old

woman　in　a　chronic　state　of　Saint　Anthony's　fire　and　dropsy；　and；

so　decorated；　bolting　a　bad　dinner　in　a　party　of　four；　whereof　each

individual　mistrusts　the　other　three　…　I　say；　while　these　things

were；　there　was　a　certain　elderly　gentleman　who　lived　in　a　court　of

the　Temple；　and　was　a　great　judge　and　lover　of　port　wine。　　Every

day　he　dined　at　his　club　and　drank　his　bottle　or　two　of　port　wine；

and　every　night　came　home　to　the　Temple　and　went　to　bed　in　his

lonely　chambers。　　This　had　gone　on　many　years　without　variation；

when　one　night　he　had　a　fit　on　coming　home；　and　fell　and　cut　his

head　deep；　but　partly　recovered　and　groped　about　in　the　dark　to

find　the　door。　　When　he　was　afterwards　discovered；　dead；　it　was

clearly　established　by　the　marks　of　his　hands　about　the　room　that

he　must　have　done　so。　　Now；　this　chanced　on　the　night　of　Christmas

Eve；　and　over　him　lived　a　young　fellow　who　had　sisters　and　young

country　friends；　and　who　gave　them　a　little　party　that　night；　in

the　course　of　which　they　played　at　Blindman's　Buff。　　They　played

that　game；　for　their　greater　sport；　by　the　light　of　the　fire　only；

and　once；　when　they　were　all　quietly　rustling　and　stealing　about；

and　the　blindman　was　trying　to　pick　out　the　prettiest　sister　（for

which　I　am　far　from　blaming　him）；　somebody　cried；　Hark！　　The　man

below　must　be　playing　Blindman's　Buff　by　himself　to…night！　　They

listened；　and　they　heard　sounds　of　some　one　falling　about　and

stumbling　against　furniture；　and　they　all　laughed　at　the　conceit；

and　went　on　with　their　play；　more　light…hearted　and　merry　than

ever。　　Thus；　those　two　so　different　games　of　life　and　death　were

played　out　together；　blindfolded；　in　the　two　sets　of　chambers。



Such　are　the　occurrences；　which；　coming　to　my　knowledge；　imbued　me

long　ago　with　a　strong　sense　of　the　loneliness　of　chambers。　　There

was　a　fantastic　illustration　to　much　the　same　purpose　implicitly

believed　by　a　strange　sort　of　man　now　dead；　whom　I　knew　when　I　had

not　quite　arrived　at　legal　years　of　discretion；　though　I　was

already　in　the　uncommercial　line。



This　was　a　man　who；　though　not　more　than　thirty；　had　seen　the　world

in　divers　irreconcilable　capacities　…　had　been　an　officer　in　a

South　American　regiment　among　other　odd　things　…　but　had　not

achieved　much　in　any　way　of　life；　and　was　in　debt；　and　in　hiding。

He　occupied　chambers　of　the　dreariest　nature　in　Lyons　Inn；　his

name；　however；　was　not　up　on　the　door；　or　door…post；　but　in　lieu　of

it　stood　the　name　of　a　friend　who　had　died　in　the　chambers；　and　had

given　him　the　furniture。　　The　story　arose　out　of　the　furniture；　and

was　to　this　effect：…　Let　the　former　holder　of　the　chambers；　whose

name　was　still　upon　the　door　and　door…post；　be　Mr。　Testator。



Mr。　Testator　took　a　set　of　chambers　in　Lyons　Inn　when　he　had　but

very　scanty　furniture　for　his　be