the uncommercial traveller-第34章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



where　solid　oak　ought　to　be！　　Rats　nibbling　a　grave　for　every　man

on　board！　　Oh！　　Does　your　Honour　love　your　Lady　and　your　pretty

children？'　　'Yes；　my　man；　to　be　sure。'　　'Then；　for　God's　sake；　make

for　the　nearest　shore；　for　at　this　present　moment　the　rats　are　all

stopping　in　their　work；　and　are　all　looking　straight　towards　you

with　bare　teeth；　and　are　all　saying　to　one　another　that　you　shall

never；　never；　never；　never；　see　your　Lady　and　your　children　more。'

'My　poor　fellow；　you　are　a　case　for　the　doctor。　　Sentry；　take　care

of　this　man！'



So；　he　was　bled　and　he　was　blistered；　and　he　was　this　and　that；　for

six　whole　days　and　nights。　　So；　then　he　again　asked　leave　to　speak

to　the　Admiral。　　The　Admiral　giv'　leave。　　He　went　down　on　his　knees

in　the　Great　State　Cabin。　　'Now；　Admiral；　you　must　die！　　You　took

no　warning；　you　must　die！　　The　rats　are　never　wrong　in　their

calculations；　and　they　make　out　that　they'll　be　through；　at　twelve

to…night。　　So；　you　must　die！　…　With　me　and　all　the　rest！'　　And　so

at　twelve　o'clock　there　was　a　great　leak　reported　in　the　ship；　and

a　torrent　of　water　rushed　in　and　nothing　could　stop　it；　and　they

all　went　down；　every　living　soul。　　And　what　the　rats　…　being　water…

rats　…　left　of　Chips；　at　last　floated　to　shore；　and　sitting　on　him

was　an　immense　overgrown　rat；　laughing；　that　dived　when　the　corpse

touched　the　beach　and　never　came　up。　　And　there　was　a　deal　of

seaweed　on　the　remains。　　And　if　you　get　thirteen　bits　of　seaweed；

and　dry　them　and　burn　them　in　the　fire；　they　will　go　off　like　in

these　thirteen　words　as　plain　as　plain　can　be：





'A　Lemon　has　pips；

And　a　Yard　has　ships；

And　I've　got　Chips！'





The　same　female　bard　…　descended；　possibly；　from　those　terrible　old

Scalds　who　seem　to　have　existed　for　the　express　purpose　of　addling

the　brains　of　mankind　when　they　begin　to　investigate　languages　…

made　a　standing　pretence　which　greatly　assisted　in　forcing　me　back

to　a　number　of　hideous　places　that　I　would　by　all　means　have

avoided。　　This　pretence　was；　that　all　her　ghost　stories　had

occurred　to　her　own　relations。　　Politeness　towards　a　meritorious

family；　therefore；　forbade　my　doubting　them；　and　they　acquired　an

air　of　authentication　that　impaired　my　digestive　powers　for　life。

There　was　a　narrative　concerning　an　unearthly　animal　foreboding

death；　which　appeared　in　the　open　street　to　a　parlour…maid　who

'went　to　fetch　the　beer'　for　supper：　　first　（as　I　now　recall　it）

assuming　the　likeness　of　a　black　dog；　and　gradually　rising　on　its

hind…legs　and　swelling　into　the　semblance　of　some　quadruped　greatly

surpassing　a　hippopotamus：　　which　apparition　…　not　because　I　deemed

it　in　the　least　improbable；　but　because　I　felt　it　to　be　really　too

large　to　bear　…　I　feebly　endeavoured　to　explain　away。　　But；　on

Mercy's　retorting　with　wounded　dignity　that　the　parlour…maid　was

her　own　sister…in…law；　I　perceived　there　was　no　hope；　and　resigned

myself　to　this　zoological　phenomenon　as　one　of　my　many　pursuers。

There　was　another　narrative　describing　the　apparition　of　a　young

woman　who　came　out　of　a　glass…case　and　haunted　another　young　woman

until　the　other　young　woman　questioned　it　and　elicited　that　its

bones　（Lord！　　To　think　of　its　being　so　particular　about　its　bones！）

were　buried　under　the　glass…case；　whereas　she　required　them　to　be

interred；　with　every　Undertaking　solemnity　up　to　twenty…four　pound

ten；　in　another　particular　place。　　This　narrative　I　considered　…　I

had　a　personal　interest　in　disproving；　because　we　had　glass…cases

at　home；　and　how；　otherwise；　was　I　to　be　guaranteed　from　the

intrusion　of　young　women　requiring　ME　TO　bury　them　up　to　twenty…

four　pound　ten；　when　I　had　only　twopence　a　week？　　But　my

remorseless　nurse　cut　the　ground　from　under　my　tender　feet；　by

informing　me　that　She　was　the　other　young　woman；　and　I　couldn't　say

'I　don't　believe　you；'　it　was　not　possible。



Such　are　a　few　of　the　uncommercial　journeys　that　I　was　forced　to

make；　against　my　will；　when　I　was　very　young　and　unreasoning。　　And

really；　as　to　the　latter　part　of　them；　it　is　not　so　very　long　ago　…

now　I　come　to　think　of　it　…　that　I　was　asked　to　undertake　them　once

again；　with　a　steady　countenance。







CHAPTER　XVI　…　ARCADIAN　LONDON







Being　in　a　humour　for　complete　solitude　and　uninterrupted

meditation　this　autumn；　I　have　taken　a　lodging　for　six　weeks　in　the

most　unfrequented　part　of　England　…　in　a　word；　in　London。



The　retreat　into　which　I　have　withdrawn　myself；　is　Bond…street。

From　this　lonely　spot　I　make　pilgrimages　into　the　surrounding

wilderness；　and　traverse　extensive　tracts　of　the　Great　Desert。　　The

first　solemn　feeling　of　isolation　overcome；　the　first　oppressive

consciousness　of　profound　retirement　conquered；　I　enjoy　that　sense

of　freedom；　and　feel　reviving　within　me　that　latent　wildness　of　the

original　savage；　which　has　been　（upon　the　whole　somewhat

frequently）　noticed　by　Travellers。



My　lodgings　are　at　a　hatter's　…　my　own　hatter's。　　After　exhibiting

no　articles　in　his　window　for　some　weeks；　but　sea…side　wide…awakes；

shooting…caps；　and　a　choice　of　rough　waterproof　head…gear　for　the

moors　and　mountains；　he　has　put　upon　the　heads　of　his　family　as

much　of　this　stock　as　they　could　carry；　and　has　taken　them　off　to

the　Isle　of　Thanet。　　His　young　man　alone　remains　…　and　remains

alone　in　the　shop。　　The　young　man　has　let　out　the　fire　at　which　the

irons　are　heated；　and；　saving　his　strong　sense　of　duty；　I　see　no

reason　why　he　should　take　the　shutters　down。



Happily　for　himself　and　for　his　country　the　young　man　is　a

Volunteer；　most　happily　for　himself；　or　I　think　he　would　become　the

prey　of　a　settled　melancholy。　　For；　to　live　surrounded　by　human

hats；　and　alienated　from　human　heads　to　fit　them　on；　is　surely　a

great　endurance。　　But；　the　young　man；　sustained　by　practising　his

exercise；　and　by　constantly　furbishing　up　his　regulation　plume　（it

is　unnecessary　to　observe　that；　as　a　hatter；　he　is　in　a　cock's…

feather　corps）；　is　resigned；　and　uncomplaining。　　On　a　Saturday；

when　he　closes　early　and　gets　his　Knickerbockers　on；　he　is　even

cheerful。　　I　am　gratefully　particular　in　this　reference　to　him；

because　he　is　my　companion　through　many　peaceful　hours。



My　hatter　has　a　desk　up　certain　steps　behind　his　counter；　enclosed

like　the　clerk's　desk　at　Church。　　I　shut　myself　into　this　place　of

seclusion；　after　breakfast；　and　meditate。　　At　such　times；　I　observe

the　young　man　loading　an　imaginary　rifle　with　the　greatest

precision；　and　maintaining　a　most　galling　and　destructive　fire　upon

the　national　enemy。　　I　thank　him　publicly　for　his　companionship　and

his　patriotism。



The　simple　character　of　my　life；　and　the　calm　nature　of　the　scenes

by　which　I　am　surrounded；　occasion　me　to　rise　early。　　I　go　forth　in

my　slippers；　and　promenade　the　pavement。　　It　is　pastoral　to　feel

the　freshness　of　the　air　in　the　uninhabited　town；　and　to　appreciate

the　shepherdess　character　of　the　few　milkwomen　who　purvey　so　little

milk　that　it　would　be　worth　nobody's　while　to　adulterate　it；　if

anybody　were　left　to　undertake　the　task。　　On　the　crowded　sea…shore；

the　great　demand　for　milk；　combined　with　the　strong　local

temptation　of　chalk；　would　betray　itself　in　the　lowered　quality　of

the　article。　　In　Arcadian　London　I　derive　it　from　the　cow。



The　Arcadian　simplicity　of　the　metropolis　altogether；　and　the

primitive　ways　into　which　it　has　fallen　in　this　autumnal　Golden

Age；　make　it　entirely　new　to　me。　　Within　a　few　hundred　yards　of　my

retreat；　is　the　house　of　a　friend　who　maintains　a　most　sumptuous

butler。　　I　never；　until　yesterday；　saw　that　butler　out　of　superfine

black　broadcloth。　　Until　yesterday；　I　never　saw　him　off　duty；　never

saw　him　（he　is　the　best　of　butlers）　with　the　appearance　of　having

any　mind　for　anything　but　the　glory　of　his　master　and　his　master's

friends。　　Yesterday　morning；　walking　in　my　slippers　near　the　house

of　which　he　is　the　prop　and　ornament　…　a　house　now　a　waste　of

shutters　…　I　encountered　that　butler；　also　in　his　slippers；　and　in

a　shooting　suit　of　one　colour；　and　in　a　low…crowned　straw…hat；

smoking　an　early　cigar。　　He　felt　that　we　had　formerly　met　in

another　state　of　existence；　and　that　we　were　translated　into　a　new

sphere。　　Wisely　and　well；　he　passed　me　without　recognition。　　Under

his　arm　he　carried　the　morning　paper；　and　shortly　afterwards　I　saw

him　sitting　on　a　rail　in　the　pleasant　open　landscape　of　Regent…

street；　perusing　it　at　his　ease　under　the　ripening　sun。



My　landlord　having　taken　his　whole　establishment　to　be　salted　down；

I　am　waited　on　by　an　elderly　woman　labouring　under　a　chronic　sniff；

who；　at　the　shadowy　hour　of　half…past　nine　o'clock　of　every

evening；　gives　admittance　at　the　street　door　to　a　meagre　and　mouldy

old　man　whom　I　have　never　yet　seen　detached　from　a　flat　pint　of

beer　in　a　pewter　pot。　　The　meagre　and　mouldy　old　man　is　her

husband；　and　the　pair　have　a　dejected　consciousness　that　they　are

not　justified　in　appearing　on　the　surface　of　the　earth。　　They　come

out　of　some　hole　when　London　empties　itself；　and　go　in　again　when

it　fills。　　I　saw　them　arrive　on　the　evening　when　I　myself　took

possession；　and　they　arrived　with　the　flat　pint　of　beer；　and　their

bed　in　a　bundle。　　The　old　man　is　a　weak　old　man；　and　appeared　to　me

to　get　the　bed　down　the　kitchen　stairs　by　tumbling　down　with　and

upon　it。　　They　make　their　bed　in　the　lowest　and　remotest　corner　of

the　basement；　and　they　smell　of　bed；　and　have　no　possession　but

bed：　　unless　it　be　（which　I　rather　infer　from　an　under…current　of

flavour　in　them）　cheese。　　I　know　their　name；　through　the　chance　of

having　called　the　wife's　attention；　at　half…past　nine　on　the　second

evening　of　our　acquaintance；　to　the　circumstance　of　there　being

some　one　at　the　house　door；　when　she　apologetically　explained；

'It's　only　Mr。　Klem。'　　What　becomes　of　Mr。　Klem　all　day；　or　when　he

goes　out；　or　why；　is　a　mystery　I　cannot　penetrate；　but　at　half…past

nine　he　never　fails　to　turn　up　on　the　door…step　with　the　flat　pint

of　beer。　　And　the　pint　of　beer；　flat　as　it　is；　is　so　much　more

important　than　himself；　that　it　always　seems　to　my　fancy　as　if　it

had　found　him　drivelling　in　the　street　and　had　humanely　brought　him

home。　　In　making　his　way　below；　Mr。　Klem　never　goes　down　the　middle

of　the　passage；　like　another　Christian；　but　shuffles　against　the

wall　as　if　entreating　me　to　take　notice　that　he　is　occupying　as

little　space　as　possible　in　the　house；　and　whenever　I　come　upon　him

face　to　face；　he　backs　from　me　in　fascinated　confusion。　　The　most

extraordinary　circumstance　I　have　traced　in　connexion　with　this

aged　couple；　is；　that　there　is　a　Miss　Klem；　their　daughter；

apparently　ten　years　older　than　either　of　them；　who　has　also　a　bed

and　smells　of　it；　and　carries　it　about　the　earth　at　dusk　and　hides

it　in　deserted　houses。　　I　came　into　this　piece　of　knowledge　through

Mrs。　Klem's　beseeching　me　to　sanction　the　sheltering　of　Miss　Klem