the uncommercial traveller-第46章

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main…topmast　truck　especially；　could　dive　as　deep　as　he　could　go

high。



The　next　adventure　that　befell　me　in　my　visit　to　the　Short…Timers；

was　the　sudden　apparition　of　a　military　band。　　I　had　been

inspecting　the　hammocks　of　the　crew　of　the　good　ship；　when　I　saw

with　astonishment　that　several　musical　instruments；　brazen　and　of

great　size；　appeared　to　have　suddenly　developed　two　legs　each；　and

to　be　trotting　about　a　yard。　　And　my　astonishment　was　heightened

when　I　observed　a　large　drum；　that　had　previously　been　leaning

helpless　against　a　wall；　taking　up　a　stout　position　on　four　legs。

Approaching　this　drum　and　looking　over　it；　I　found　two　boys　behind

it　（it　was　too　much　for　one）；　and　then　I　found　that　each　of　the

brazen　instruments　had　brought　out　a　boy；　and　was　going　to

discourse　sweet　sounds。　　The　boys　…　not　omitting　the　fifer；　now

playing　a　new　instrument　…　were　dressed　in　neat　uniform；　and　stood

up　in　a　circle　at　their　music…stands；　like　any　other　Military　Band。

They　played　a　march　or　two；　and　then　we　had　Cheer　boys；　Cheer；　and

then　we　had　Yankee　Doodle；　and　we　finished；　as　in　loyal　duty　bound；

with　God　save　the　Queen。　　The　band's　proficiency　was　perfectly

wonderful；　and　it　was　not　at　all　wonderful　that　the　whole　body

corporate　of　Short…Timers　listened　with　faces　of　the　liveliest

interest　and　pleasure。



What　happened　next　among　the　Short…Timers？　　As　if　the　band　had

blown　me　into　a　great　class…room　out　of　their　brazen　tubes；　IN　a

great　class…room　I　found　myself　now；　with　the　whole　choral　force　of

Short…Timers　singing　the　praises　of　a　summer's　day　to　the

harmonium；　and　my　small　but　highly　respected　friend　the　fifer

blazing　away　vocally；　as　if　he　had　been　saving　up　his　wind　for　the

last　twelvemonth；　also　the　whole　crew　of　the　good　ship　Nameless

swarming　up　and　down　the　scale　as　if　they　had　never　swarmed　up　and

down　the　rigging。　　This　done；　we　threw　our　whole　power　into　God

bless　the　Prince　of　Wales；　and　blessed　his　Royal　Highness　to　such

an　extent　that；　for　my　own　Uncommercial　part；　I　gasped　again　when

it　was　over。　　The　moment　this　was　done；　we　formed；　with　surpassing

freshness；　into　hollow　squares；　and　fell　to　work　at　oral　lessons　as

if　we　never　did；　and　had　never　thought　of　doing；　anything　else。



Let　a　veil　be　drawn　over　the　self…committals　into　which　the

Uncommercial　Traveller　would　have　been　betrayed　but　for　a　discreet

reticence；　coupled　with　an　air　of　absolute　wisdom　on　the　part　of

that　artful　personage。　　Take　the　square　of　five；　multiply　it　by

fifteen；　divide　it　by　three；　deduct　eight　from　it；　add　four　dozen

to　it；　give　me　the　result　in　pence；　and　tell　me　how　many　eggs　I

could　get　for　it　at　three　farthings　apiece。　　The　problem　is　hardly

stated；　when　a　dozen　small　boys　pour　out　answers。　　Some　wide；　some

very　nearly　right；　some　worked　as　far　as　they　go　with　such

accuracy；　as　at　once　to　show　what　link　of　the　chain　has　been

dropped　in　the　hurry。　　For　the　moment；　none　are　quite　right；　but

behold　a　labouring　spirit　beating　the　buttons　on　its　corporeal

waistcoat；　in　a　process　of　internal　calculation；　and　knitting　an

accidental　bump　on　its　corporeal　forehead　in　a　concentration　of

mental　arithmetic！　　It　is　my　honourable　friend　（if　he　will　allow　me

to　call　him　so）　the　fifer。　　With　right　arm　eagerly　extended　in

token　of　being　inspired　with　an　answer；　and　with　right　leg

foremost；　the　fifer　solves　the　mystery：　　then　recalls　both　arm　and

leg；　and　with　bump　in　ambush　awaits　the　next　poser。　　Take　the

square　of　three；　multiply　it　by　seven；　divide　it　by　four；　add　fifty

to　it；　take　thirteen　from　it；　multiply　it　by　two；　double　it；　give

me　the　result　in　pence；　and　say　how　many　halfpence。　　Wise　as　the

serpent　is　the　four　feet　of　performer　on　the　nearest　approach　to

that　instrument；　whose　right　arm　instantly　appears；　and　quenches

this　arithmetical　fire。　　Tell　me　something　about　Great　Britain；

tell　me　something　about　its　principal　productions；　tell　me

something　about　its　ports；　tell　me　something　about　its　seas　and

rivers；　tell　me　something　about　coal；　iron；　cotton；　timber；　tin；

and　turpentine。　　The　hollow　square　bristles　with　extended　right

arms；　but　ever　faithful　to　fact　is　the　fifer；　ever　wise　as　the

serpent　is　the　performer　on　that　instrument；　ever　prominently

buoyant　and　brilliant　are　all　members　of　the　band。　　I　observe　the

player　of　the　cymbals　to　dash　at　a　sounding　answer　now　and　then

rather　than　not　cut　in　at　all；　but　I　take　that　to　be　in　the　way　of

his　instrument。　　All　these　questions；　and　many　such；　are　put　on　the

spur　of　the　moment；　and　by　one　who　has　never　examined　these　boys。

The　Uncommercial；　invited　to　add　another；　falteringly　demands　how

many　birthdays　a　man　born　on　the　twenty…ninth　of　February　will　have

had　on　completing　his　fiftieth　year？　　A　general　perception　of　trap

and　pitfall　instantly　arises；　and　the　fifer　is　seen　to　retire

behind　the　corduroys　of　his　next　neighbours；　as　perceiving　special

necessity　for　collecting　himself　and　communing　with　his　mind。

Meanwhile；　the　wisdom　of　the　serpent　suggests　that　the　man　will

have　had　only　one　birthday　in　all　that　time；　for　how　can　any　man

have　more　than　one；　seeing　that　he　is　born　once　and　dies　once？　　The

blushing　Uncommercial　stands　corrected；　and　amends　the　formula。

Pondering　ensues；　two　or　three　wrong　answers　are　offered；　and

Cymbals　strikes　up　'Six！'　but　doesn't　know　why。　　Then　modestly

emerging　from　his　Academic　Grove　of　corduroys　appears　the　fifer；

right　arm　extended；　right　leg　foremost；　bump　irradiated。　　'Twelve；

and　two　over！'



The　feminine　Short…Timers　passed　a　similar　examination；　and　very

creditably　too。　　Would　have　done　better　perhaps；　with　a　little　more

geniality　on　the　part　of　their　pupil…teacher；　for　a　cold　eye；　my

young　friend；　and　a　hard；　abrupt　manner；　are　not　by　any　means　the

powerful　engines　that　your　innocence　supposes　them　to　be。　　Both

girls　and　boys　wrote　excellently；　from　copy　and　dictation；　both

could　cook；　both　could　mend　their　own　clothes；　both　could　clean　up

everything　about　them　in　an　orderly　and　skilful　way；　the　girls

having　womanly　household　knowledge　superadded。　　Order　and　method

began　in　the　songs　of　the　Infant　School　which　I　visited　likewise；

and　they　were　even　in　their　dwarf　degree　to　be　found　in　the

Nursery；　where　the　Uncommercial　walking…stick　was　carried　off　with

acclamations；　and　where　'the　Doctor'　…　a　medical　gentleman　of　two；

who　took　his　degree　on　the　night　when　he　was　found　at　an

apothecary's　door　…　did　the　honours　of　the　establishment　with　great

urbanity　and　gaiety。



These　have　long　been　excellent　schools；　long　before　the　days　of　the

Short…Time。　　I　first　saw　them；　twelve　or　fifteen　years　ago。　　But

since　the　introduction　of　the　Short…Time　system　it　has　been　proved

here　that　eighteen　hours　a　week　of　book…learning　are　more

profitable　than　thirty…six；　and　that　the　pupils　are　far　quicker　and

brighter　than　of　yore。　　The　good　influences　of　music　on　the　whole

body　of　children　have　likewise　been　surprisingly　proved。　　Obviously

another　of　the　immense　advantages　of　the　Short…Time　system　to　the

cause　of　good　education　is　the　great　diminution　of　its　cost；　and　of

the　period　of　time　over　which　it　extends。　　The　last　is　a　most

important　consideration；　as　poor　parents　are　always　impatient　to

profit　by　their　children's　labour。



It　will　be　objected：　　Firstly；　that　this　is　all　very　well；　but

special　local　advantages　and　special　selection　of　children　must　be

necessary　to　such　success。　　Secondly；　that　this　is　all　very　well；

but　must　be　very　expensive。　　Thirdly；　that　this　is　all　very　well；

but　we　have　no　proof　of　the　results；　sir；　no　proof。



On　the　first　head　of　local　advantages　and　special　selection。　　Would

Limehouse　Hole　be　picked　out　for　the　site　of　a　Children's　Paradise？

Or　would　the　legitimate　and　illegitimate　pauper　children　of　the

long…shore　population　of　such　a　riverside　district；　be　regarded　as

unusually　favourable　specimens　to　work　with？　　Yet　these　schools　are

at　Limehouse；　and　are　the　Pauper　Schools　of　the　Stepney　Pauper

Union。



On　the　second　head　of　expense。　　Would　sixpence　a　week　be　considered

a　very　large　cost　for　the　education　of　each　pupil；　including　all

salaries　of　teachers　and　rations　of　teachers？　　But　supposing　the

cost　were　not　sixpence　a　week；　not　fivepence？　it　is　FOURPENCE…

HALFPENNY。



On　the　third　head　of　no　proof；　sir；　no　proof。　　Is　there　any　proof

in　the　facts　that　Pupil　Teachers　more　in　number；　and　more　highly

qualified；　have　been　produced　here　under　the　Short…Time　system　than

under　the　Long…Time　system？　　That　the　Short…Timers；　in　a　writing

competition；　beat　the　Long…Timers　of　a　first…class　National　School？

That　the　sailor…boys　are　in　such　demand　for　merchant　ships；　that

whereas；　before　they　were　trained；　10L。　premium　used　to　be　given

with　each　boy　…　too　often　to　some　greedy　brute　of　a　drunken

skipper；　who　disappeared　before　the　term　of　apprenticeship　was　out；

if　the　ill…used　boy　didn't　…　captains　of　the　best　character　now

take　these　boys　more　than　willingly；　with　no　premium　at　all？　　That

they　are　also　much　esteemed　in　the　Royal　Navy；　which　they　prefer；

'because　everything　is　so　neat　and　clean　and　orderly'？　　Or；　is

there　any　proof　in　Naval　captains　writing　'Your　little　fellows　are

all　that　I　can　desire'？　　Or；　is　there　any　proof　in　such　testimony

as　this：　　'The　owner　of　a　vessel　called　at　the　school；　and　said

that　as　his　ship　was　going　down　Channel　on　her　last　voyage；　with

one　of　the　boys　from　the　school　on　board；　the　pilot　said；　〃It　would

be　as　well　if　the　royal　were　lowered；　I　wish　it　were　down。〃

Without　waiting　for　any　orders；　and　unobserved　by　the　pilot；　the

lad；　whom　they　had　taken　on　board　from　the　school；　instantly

mounted　the　mast　and　lowered　the　royal；　and　at　the　next　glance　of

the　pilot　to　the　masthead；　he　perceived　that　the　sail　had　been　let

down。　　He　exclaimed；　〃Who's　done　that　job？〃　　The　owner；　who　was　on

board；　said；　〃That　was　the　little　fellow　whom　I　put　on　board　two

days　ago。〃　　The　pilot　immediately　said；　〃Why；　where　could　he　have

been　brought　up？〃　　The　boy　had　never　seen　the　sea　or　been　on　a　real

ship　before'？　　Or；　is　there　any　proof　in　these　boys　being　in

greater　demand　for　Regimental　Bands　than　the　Union　can　meet？　　Or；

in　ninety…eight　of　them　having　gone　into　Regimental　Bands　in　three

years？　　Or；　in　twelve　of　them　being　in　the　band　of　one　regiment？

Or；　in　the　colonel　of　that　regiment　writing；　'We　want　six　more

boys；　they　are　excellent　lads'？　　Or；　in　one　of　the　boys　having

risen　to　be　band…corporal　in　the　same　regiment？　　Or；　in　employers

of　all　kinds　chorusing；　'Give　us　drilled　boys；　for　they　are　prompt；

obedient；　and　punctual'？　　Other　proofs　I　have　myself　beheld　with

these　Uncommercial　eyes；　though　I　do　not　regard　myself　as　having　a

right　to　relate　in　what　social　positions　they　have　seen　respected

men　and　women　who　were　once　pauper　children　of　the　Stepney　Union。



Into　what　admirable　soldiers　others　of　these　b