the lion and the unicorn(狮子与独角兽)-第3章
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on their front steps all night and I'd follow them in cabs； and I'd lie in wait
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for them at the stage…door。 I'd just make them take them。〃
Carroll sighed and stared at the ceiling。 〃I guess I'll give up and go
home；〃 he said。
〃Oh； yes； do； run away before you are beaten；〃 said Miss Cavendish；
scornfully。 〃Why； you can't go now。 Everybody will be back in town
soon； and there are a lot of new plays coming on； and some of them are
sure to be failures； and that's our chance。 You rush in with your piece
and somebody may take it sooner than close the theatre。〃
〃I'm thinking of closing the theatre myself；〃 said Carroll。 〃What's the
use of my hanging on here？〃 he exclaimed。 〃It distresses Helen to know
I am in London； feeling about her as I doand the Lord only knows how it
distresses me。 And； maybe； if I went away；〃 he said； consciously； 〃she
might miss me。 She might see the difference。〃
Miss Cavendish held herself erect and pressed her lips together with a
severe smile。 〃If Helen Cabot doesn't see the difference between you and
the other men she knows now；〃 she said； 〃I doubt if she ever will。
Besides〃 she continued； and then hesitated。 〃Well； go on；〃 urged
Carroll。
〃Well； I was only going to say；〃 she explained； 〃that leaving the girl
alone never did the man any good unless he left her alone willingly。 If
she's sure he still cares； it's just the same to her where he is。 He might as
well stay on in London as go to South Africa。 It won't help him any。
The difference comes when she finds he has stopped caring。 Why； look
at Reggie。 He tried that。 He went away for ever so long； but he kept
writing me from wherever he went； so that he was perfectly miserable
and I went on enjoying myself。 Then when he came back； he tried going
about with his old friends again。 He used to come to the theatre with
themoh； with such nice girlsbut he always stood in the back of the box
and yawned and scowledso I knew。 And； anyway； he'd always spoil it
all by leaving them and waiting at the stage entrance for me。 But one day
he got tired of the way I treated him and went off on a bicycle tour with
Lady Hacksher's girls and some men from his regiment； and he was gone
three weeks and never sent me even a line； and I got so scared； I couldn't
sleep； and I stood it for three days more； and then I wired him to come
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back or I'd jump off London Bridge； and he came back that very night
from Edinburgh on the express； and I was so glad to see him that I got
confused； and in the general excitement I promised to marry him； so that's
how it was with us。〃
〃Yes；〃 said the American； without enthusiasm； 〃but then I still care；
and Helen knows I care。〃
〃Doesn't she ever fancy that you might care for some one else？ You
have a lot of friends； you know。〃
〃Yes； but she knows they are just thatfriends；〃 said the American。
Miss Cavendish stood up to go； and arranged her veil before the mirror
above the fireplace。
〃I come here very often to tea；〃 she said。
〃It's very kind of you；〃 said Carroll。 He was at the open window；
looking down into the street for a cab。
〃Well； no one knows I am engaged to Reggie；〃 continued Miss
Cavendish； 〃except you and Reggie； and he isn't so sure。 SHE doesn't
know it。〃
〃Well？〃 said Carroll。
Miss Cavendish smiled a mischievous kindly smile at him from the
mirror。
〃Well？〃 she repeated； mockingly。 Carroll stared at her and laughed。
After a pause he said： 〃It's like a plot in a comedy。 But I'm afraid I'm
too serious for play…acting。〃
〃Yes； it is serious；〃 said Miss Cavendish。 She seated herself again
and regarded the American thoughtfully。 〃You are too good a man to be
treated the way that girl is treating you； and no one knows it better than
she does。 She'll change in time； but just now she thinks she wants to be
independent。 She's in love with this picture…painting idea； and with the
people she meets。 It's all new to herthe fuss they make over her and the
titles； and the way she is asked about。 We know she can't paint。 We
know they only give her commissions because she's so young and pretty；
and American。 She amuses them； that's all。 Well； that cannot last； she'll
find it out。 She's too clever a girl； and she is too fine a girl to be content
with that long。 Thenthen she'll come back to you。 She feels now that
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she has both you and the others； and she's making you wait： so wait and be
cheerful。 She's worth waiting for； she's young； that's all。 She'll see the
difference in time。 But； in the meanwhile； it would hurry matters a bit if
she thought she had to choose between the new friends and you。〃
〃She could still keep her friends； and marry me；〃 said Carroll； 〃I have
told her that a hundred times。 She could still paint miniatures and marry
me。 But she won't marry me。〃
〃She won't marry you because she knows she can whenever she wants
to；〃 cried Marion。 〃Can't you see that？ But if she thought you were
going to marry some one else now？〃
〃She would be the first to congratulate me；〃 said Carroll。 He rose
and walked to the fireplace； where he leaned with his arm on the mantel。
There was a photograph of Helen Cabot near his hand； and he turned this
toward him and stood for some time staring at it。 〃My dear Marion；〃 he
said at last； 〃I've known Helen ever since she was as young as that。
Every year I've loved her more； and found new things in her to care for；
now I love her more than any other man ever loved any other woman。〃
Miss Cavendish shook her head sympathetically。
〃Yes； I know；〃 she said； 〃that's the way Reggie loves me； too。〃
Carroll went on as though he had not heard her。
〃There's a bench in St。 James's Park；〃 he said； 〃where we used to sit
when she first came here； when she didn't know so many people。 We
used to go there in the morning and throw penny buns to the ducks。
That's been my amusement this summer since you've all been away
sitting on that bench； feeding penny buns to the silly ducksespecially the
black one； the one she used to like best。 And I make pilgrimages to all
the other places we ever visited together； and try to pretend she is with me。
And I support the crossing sweeper at Lansdowne Passage because she
once said she felt sorry for him。 I do all the other absurd things that a
man in love tortures himself by doing。 But to what end？ She knows
how I care； and yet she won't see why we can't go on being friends as we
once were。 What's the use of it all？ 〃
〃She is young； I tell you；〃 repeated Miss Cavendish； 〃and she's too
sure of you。 You've told her you care； now try making her think you
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don't care。〃
Carroll shook his head impatiently。
〃I will not stoop to such tricks and pretence； Marion；〃 he cried
impatiently。 〃All I have is my love for her； if I have to cheat and to trap
her into caring； the whole thing would be degraded。〃
Miss Cavendish shrugged her shoulders and walked to the door。
〃Such amateurs！〃 she exclaimed； and banged the door after her。
Carroll never quite knew how he had come to make a confidante of
Miss Cavendish。 Helen and he had met her when they first arrived in
London； and as she had acted for a season in the United States； she
adopted the two Americansand told Helen where to go for boots and hats；
and advised Carroll about placing his plays。 Helen soon made other
friends； and deserted the artists； with whom her work had first thrown her。
She seemed to prefer the society of the people who bought her paintings；
and who admired and made much of the painter。 As she was very
beautiful and at an age when she enjoyed everything in life keenly and
eagerly； to give her pleasure was in itself a distinct pleasure； and the
worldly tired people she met were considering their own entertainment
quite as much as hers when they asked her to their dinners and dances； or
to spend a week with them in the country。 In her way； she was as
independent as was Carroll in his； and as she was not in love； as he was；
her life was not narrowed down to but one ideal。 But she was not so
young as to consider herself infallible； and she had one excellent friend on
whom she was dependent for advice and to whose directions she
submitted implicitly。 This was Lady Gower； the only person to whom
Helen had spoken of Carroll and of his great feeling for her。 Lady Gower；
immediately after her marriage； had been a conspicuous and brilliant
figure in that set in London which works eighteen hours a day to keep
itself amused； but after the death of her husband she had disappeared into
the country as completely as though she had entered a convent； and after
several years had then re…entered the world as a professional philanthropist。
Her name was now associated entirely with Women's Leagues； with
committees that presented petitions to Parliament；
