we two-第18章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　bell　at　the　now　familiar　door　and　was　admitted；　it　carried　him　back　to　the　day　when　he　had　first　called　there　and　had　been　shown　into　the　fire…lit　room；　with　the　book…lined　walls；　and　the　pretty　little　girl　curled　up　on　the　rug；　with　her　cat　and　her　toasting　fork。　　Time　had　brought　many　changes　since　then。　　This　evening　he　was　again　shown　into　the　study；　but　this　time　the　gas　was　lighted；　and　there　was　no　little　girl　upon　the　hearth　rug。　　Erica　was　sitting　at　her　desk　hard　at　work。　　Her　face　lighted　up　at　the　sight　of　her　visitor。

〃Every　one　is　out　except　me；〃　she　said；　more　brightly　than　he　had　heard　her　speak　since　her　return。　　〃Did　you　really　come　to　see　me。　　How　good　of　you。〃

〃But　you　are　busy？〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　glancing　at　the　papers　on　the　desk。　　〃Press　work？〃

〃Yes；　my　first　article；〃　said　Erica；　〃it　is　just　finished；　but　if　you'll　excuse　me　for　one　minute；　I　ought　to　correct　it；　the　office　boy　will　call　for　it　directly。〃

〃Don't　hurry；　I　will　wait　and　get　warm　in　the　meantime；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　establishing　himself　by　the　fire。

There　was　a　silence　broken　only　by　the　sound　of　Erica's　pen　as　she　crossed　out　a　word　or　a　line。　　Charles　Osmond　watched　her　and　mused。　　This　beautiful　girl；　whose　development　he　could　trace　now　for　more　than　two　years　back；　what　would　she　grow　into？　　Already　she　was　writing　in　the　〃Idol　Breaker。〃　　He　regretted　it。　　Yet　it　was　obviously　the　most　natural　employment　for　her。　　He　looked　at　her　ever…changing　face。　　She　was　absorbed　in　her　work；　her　expression　varying　with　the　sentences　she　read；　now　there　was　a　look　of　triumphant　happiness　as　she　came　to　something　which　made　her　heart　beat　quickly；　again；　a　shade　of　dissatisfaction　at　the　consciousness　of　her　inability　to　express　what　was　in　her　mind。　　He　could　not　help　thinking　that　it　was　one　of　the　noblest　faces　he　had　ever　seen；　and　now　that　the　eyes　were　downcast　it　was　not　so　terribly　sad；　there　was；　moreover；　for　the　first　time　since　her　mother's　death；　a　faint　tinge　of　color　in　her　cheeks。　　Before　five　minutes　could　have　passed；　the　bell　rang　again。

〃That　is　my　boy；〃　she　exclaimed；　and　hastily　blotting　her　sheets；　she　rolled　them　up；　gave　them　to　the　servant；　closed　her　desk；　and　crossing　the　room；　knelt　down　in　front　of　the　fire　to　warm　her　hands；　which　were　stiff　and　chilly。

〃How　rude　I　have　been　to　you；〃　she　said；　smiling　a　little；　〃I　always　have　been　rude　to　you　since　the　very　first　time　we　met。〃

〃We　were　always　frank　with　each　other；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　〃I　remember　you　gave　me　your　opinion　as　to　bigots　and　Christians　in　the　most　delightfully　open　way。　　So　you　have　been　writing　your　first　article？〃

〃Yes；〃　and　she　stretched　herself　as　though　she　were　rather　tired　and　cramped。　　〃I　have　had　a　delicious　afternoon。　　Yesterday　I　was　in　despair　about　it；　but　today　it　just　cameI　wrote　it　straight　off。〃

〃And　you　are　satisfied　with　it？〃

〃Satisfied？　　Oh；　no！　　Is　anybody　ever　satisfied？　　By　the　time　it　is　in　print　I　shall　want　to　alter　every　sixth　line。　　Still；　I　dare　say　it　will　say　a　little　of　what　I　want　said？〃

〃Oh；　you　do　want　something　said？〃

〃Of　course！〃　she　replied；　a　little　indignantly。　　〃If　not；　how　could　I　write。〃

〃I　quite　agree　with　you；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　〃and　you　mean　to　take　this　up　as　your　vocation？〃

〃If　I　am　thought　worthy；〃　said　Erica；　coloring　a　little。

〃I　see　you　have　high　ideas　of　the　art；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　〃and　what　is　your　reason　for　taking　it　up？〃

〃First　of　all；　though　it　sounds　rather　illogical；〃　said　Erica；　　〃I　write　because　I　MUST；　there　is　something　in　me　which　will　have　its　way。　　Then；　too；　it　is　part　of　our　creed　that　every　one　should　do　all　in　his　power　to　help　on　the　cause；　and　of　course；　if　only　for　my　father's　sake；　it　would　be　my　greatest　pleasure。　　Then；　last　of　all；　I　write　because　I　must　earn　my　living。〃

〃Good　reasons　all；〃　said　Charles　Osmond。　　〃But　I　don't　feel　sure　that　you　won't　regret　having　written　when　you　look　back　several　years　hence。〃

〃Oh！　　I　dare　say　it　will　all　seem　crude　and　ridiculous　then；　but　one　must　make　a　beginning；〃　said　Erica。

〃And　are　you　sure　you　have　thought　out　these　great　questions　so　thoroughly　and　fairly　that　you　are　capable　of　teaching　others　about　them？〃

〃Ah！　　Now　I　see　what　you　mean！〃　exclaimed　Erica；　　〃you　think　I　write　in　defense　of　atheism；　or　as　an　attacker　of　Christianity。　　I　do　nothing　of　the　kind；　father　would　not　allow　me　to；　he　would　not　think　me　old　enough。　　Oh！　　No；　I　am　only　to　write　the　lighter　articles　which　are　needed　every　now　and　then。　　Today　I　had　a　delightful　subject'Heroeswhat　are　they？'〃

〃Well；　and　what　is　your　definition　of　a　hero；　I　wonder；　what　are　the　qualities　you　think　absolutely　necessary　to　make　one？〃

〃I　think　I　have　only　two　absolutely　necessary　ones；〃　said　Erica；　〃but　my　heroes　must　have　these　two；　they　must　have　brains　and　goodness。〃

〃A　tolerably　sweeping　definition；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　laughing；　〃almost　equal　to　a　friend　of　mine　who　wanted　a　wife；　and　said　there　were　only　two　things　he　would　stipulate　for1；500　a　year；　and　an　angel。　　But　it　brings　us　to　another　definition；　you　see。　　We　shall　agree　as　to　the　brains；　but　how　about　goodness！　　What　is　your　definition　of　that　very　wide；　not　to　say　vague；　term？〃

〃I　don't　think　I　can　define　it；〃　she　said；　〃but　one　knows　it　when　one　sees　it。〃

〃Do　you　mean　by　it　unselfishness；　courage；　truthfulness；　or　any　other　virtue？〃

〃Oh；　it　isn't　any　one　virtue；　or　even　a　parcel　of　virtues；　it　will　not　go　into　words。〃

〃It　is　then　the　nearest　approach　to　some　perfect　ideal　which　is　in　your　mind？〃

〃I　suppose　it　is；〃　she　said；　slowly。

〃How　did　that　ideal　come　into　your　mind？〃

〃I　don't　know；　I　suppose　I　got　it　by　inheritance。〃

〃From　the　original　moneron？〃

〃You　are　laughing　at　me。　　I　don't　know　how　of　course；　but　I　have　it；　which；　as　far　as　I　can　see；　is　all　that　matters。〃

〃I　am　not　sure　of　that；〃　said　Charles　Osmond。　　〃The　explanation　of　that　ideal　of　goodness　which　more　or　less　clearly　exists　in　all　our　minds；　seems　to　me　to　rest　only　in　the　conviction　that　all　are　children　of　one　perfect　Father。　　And　I　can　give　you　our　definition　of　goodness　without　hesitation；　it　is　summed　up　for　us　in　one　word　'Christlikeness。'〃

〃I　cannot　see　it；　it　seems　to　me　all　exaggerated；〃　said　Erica。　？〃I　believe　it　is　only　because　people　are　educated　to　believe　and　predisposed　to　think　it　all　good　and　perfect　that　there　are　so　many　Christians。　　You　may　say　it　is　we　who　are　prejudiced。　　If　we　are；　I'm　sure　you　Christians　have　done　enough　to　make　us　so！　　How　could　I；　for　instance；　be　anything　but　an　atheist？　　Shall　I　tell　you　the　very　first　thing　I　can　remember？〃

Her　eyes　were　flashing　with　indignant　light。

〃I　was　a　little　tiny　childonly　four　years　oldbut　there　are　some　scenes　one　never　forgets。　　I　can　see　it　all　as　plainly　as　possible；　the　room　in　a　hotel；　the　very　doll　I　was　playing　with。　　There　was　a　great　noise　in　the　street；　trampling；　hissing；　hooting。　　I　ran　to　the　window；　an　immense　crowd　was　coming　nearer　and　nearer；　the　street　was　black　with　the　throng；　they　were　all　shouting　and　yelling'Down　with　the　infidel！'　'Kill　the　atheist！'　　Then　I　saw　my　father；　he　was　there　strong　and　fearless；　one　man　against　a　thousand！　　I　tell　you　I　saw　him；　I　can　see　him　now；　fighting　his　way　on　single…handed；　not　one　creature　brave　enough　to　stand　up　for　him。　　I　saw　him　pushed；　struck；　spit　upon；　stoned。　　At　last　a　great　brick　struck　him　on　the　head。　　I　think　I　must　have　been　too　sick　or　too　angry　to　see　any　more　after　that。　　The　next　thing　I　remember　is　lying　on　the　floor　sobbing；　and　hearing　father　come　into　the　room　and　say：　'Why；　little　son　Eric；　did　you　think　they'd　killed　me？'　　And　he　picked　me　up　and　let　me　sit　on　his　knee；　but　there　was　blood　on　his　face；　and　as　he　kissed　me　it　dropped　upon　my　forehead。　　I　tell　you；　you　Christians　baptized　me　into　atheism　in　my　own　father's　blood。　　They　were　Christians　who　stoned　him；　champions　of　religion；　and　they　were　egged　on　by　the　clergy。　　Did　I　not　hear　it　all　then　in　my　babyhood？　　And　it　is　true；　it　is　all　fact；　ask　anybody　you　like；　I　have　not　exaggerated。〃

〃My　dear　child；　I　know　you　have　not；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　putting　his　strong　hand　upon　hers。　　He　could　feel　that　she　was　all　trembling　with　indignation。　　Was　it　to　be　wondered　at？　　〃I　remember　those　riots　perfectly　well；〃　he　continued。　　〃I　think　I　felt　and　feel　as　indignant　about　them　as　yourself。　　A　fearful　mistake　was　madeMr。　Raeburn　was　shamefully　treated。　　But；　Erica〃it　was　the　first　time　he　had　called　her　by　her　name〃you　who　pride　yourself　upon　fairness；　you　who　make　justice　your　watchword　must　be　careful　not　to　let　the　wrong　doing　of　a　few　Christians　prejudice　you　against　Christianity。　　You　say　that　we　are　all　predisposed　to　accept　Christ；　but　candidly　you　must　allow；　I　think；　that　you　are　trebly　prejudiced　against　the　very　name　of　Christian。　　A　Christian　almost　inevitably　means　to　you　only　one　of　your　father's　mistaken　persecutors。〃

〃Yes；　you　are　so　much　of　an　exception　that　I　always　forget　you　are　one；〃　said　Erica；　smiling　a　little。　　〃Yet　you　are　not　like　one　of　usquiteyou　somehow　stand　alone；　you　are　unlike　any　one　I　ever　met；　you　and　Thekla　Sonnenthal　and　your　son　make　to　me　a　sort　of　new　variety。〃

Charles　Osmond　laughed；　and　changed　the　subject。〃You　are　busy　with　your　examination　work；　I　suppose？〃　And　the　question　led　to　a　long　talk　about　books　and　lectures。

In　truth；　Erica　had　plunged　into　work　of　all　kinds；　not　merely　from　love　of　it；　but　because　she　felt　the　absolute　need　of　fresh　interests；　the　great　danger　of　dwelling　unduly　on　her　sorrow。　　Then；　too；　she　had　just　grasped　a　new　idea；　an　idea　at　once　noble　and　inspiriting。　　Hitherto　she　had　thought　of　a　happy　future　for　herself；　of　a　home　free　from　troubles　and　harassing　cares。　　That　was　all　over　now；　her　golden　dream　had　come　to　an　end；　〃Hope　dead　lives　nevermore。〃　　The　life　she　had　pictured　to　herself　could　never　be；　but　her　nature　was　too　strong　to　be　crushed　by　the　sorrow；　physically　the　shock　had　weakened　her　far　more　than　any　one　knew；　but；　mentally；　it　had　been　a　wonderful　stimulant。　　She　rose　above　herself；　above　her　trouble；　and　life　began　to　mean　something　broader　and　deeper　than　before。

Hitherto　her　great　desire　had　been　to　be　free　from　care；　and　to　be　happy；　now　the　one　important　thing　seemed　not　so　much　to　be　happy；　as　to　know。　　To　learn　herself；　and　to　help　others　to　learn；　became　her　chief　object；　and；　with　all　the　devotion　of　an　earnest；　high…souled　nature；　she　set　herself　to　act　out　these　convictions。　　She　read　hard；　attended　lectures；　and　twice　a　week　taught　in　the　night　school　attached　to　the　Institute。

Charles　Osmond　could　not　help　smiling　as　she　described　her　days　to　him。　　She　still　retained　something　of　the　childishness　of　an　Undine；　and　as　they　talked　she　had　taken　up　her　old　position　on　the　hearth　rug；　and　Friskarina　had　crept　on　to　her　knee。　　Here；　undoubtedly；　was　one　whom　ignorant　people　would　stigmatize　as　〃blue〃　or　as　a　〃femme　savante；〃　they　would　of　course　be　quite　wrong　and　inexpressively　foolish　to　use　such　terms；　and　yet　there　was；　perhaps；　something　a　little　incongruous　in　the　two　sides；　as　it　were；　of　Erica's　nature；　the　keen　intellect　and　the　child…like　devotion　；　the　great　love　of　learning　and　the　intense　love　of　fun　and　humor。　　C