we two-第25章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　question。　　At　present　you　are　absolutely　unfair；　you　will　not　take　the　trouble　to　study　the　life　of　Christ。〃

Few　people　like　to　be　told　of　their　faults。　　Erica　could　just　endure　it　from　her　father；　but　from　no　one　else。　　She　was；　besides；　too　young　yet　to　have　learned　even　the　meaning　of　the　word　humility。　　Had　Charles　Osmond　been　a　few　years　younger；　she　would　not　even　have　listened　to　him。　　As　it　was；　he　was　a　gray…haired　man；　whom　she　loved　and　revered；　he　was；　moreover；　a　guest。　　She　was　very　angry　with　him；　but　she　restrained　her　anger。

He　had　watched　her　attentively　while　he　spoke。　　She　had　at　first　only　been　surprised；　then　her　anger　had　been　kindled；　and　she　gave　him　one　swift　flash　from　eyes　which　looked　like　live　coals。　　Then　she　turned　her　face　away　from　him；　so　that　he　could　only　see　one　crimson　cheek。　　There　was　a　pause　after　he　had　said　his　say。　　Presently；　with　a　great　effort；　Erica　faced　him　once　more；　and　in　a　manner　which　would　have　been　dignified　had　it　not　been　a　trifle　too　frigid；　made　some　casual　remark　upon　a　different　subject。　　He　saw　that　to　stay　longer　was　mere　waste　of　time。

When　the　door　had　closed　behind　him；　Erica's　anger　blazed　up　once　more。　　That　he　should　have　dared　to　accuse　her　of　unfairness！　　That　he　should　have　dared　actually　to　rebuke　her！　　If　he　had　given　her　a　good　shaking　she　could　not　have　felt　more　hurt　and　ruffled。　　And　then　to　choose　this　day　of　all　others；　just　when　life　was　so　hard　to　her；　just　when　she　was　condemned　to　a　long　imprisonment。　　It　was　simply　brutal　of　him！　　If　any　one　had　told　her　that　he　would　do　such　a　thing　she　would　not　have　believed　them。　　He　had　said　nothing　of　the　sort　to　her　before；　though　they　had　known　each　other　so　long；　but；　now　that　she　was　ill　and　helpless　and　unable　to　get　away　from　him；　he　had　seen　fit　to　come　and　lecture　her。　　Well；　he　was　a　parson！　　She　might　have　known　that　sooner　or　later　the　horrid；　tyrannical；　priestly　side　of　him　would　show！　　And　yet　she　had　liked　him　so　much；　trusted　him　so　much！　　It　was　indescribably　bitter　to　think　that　he　was　no　longer　the　hero　she　had　thought　him　to　be。　　That；　after　all；　he　was　not　a　grand；　noble；　self…denying　man；　but　a　fault…finding　priest！

She　spent　the　rest　of　the　afternoon　in　alternate　wrath　and　grief。　　In　the　evening　Aunt　Jean　read　her　a　somewhat　dry　book　which　required　all　her　attention；　and；　consequently；　her　anger　cooled　for　want　of　thoughts　to　stimulate　it。　　Her　father　did　not　come　in　till　late；　but；　as　he　carried　her　upstairs　to　bed；　she　told　him　of　Charles　Osmond's　interview。

〃I　told　him　you　like　a　little　opposition；〃　was　his　reply。

〃I　don't　know　about　opposition；　but　I　didn't　like　him；　　he　showed　his　priestly　side。〃

〃I　am　sorry；〃　replied　Raeburn。　　〃For　my　part　I　genuinely　like　the　man；　he　seems　to　me　a　grand　fellow；　and　I　should　have　said　not　in　the　least　spoiled　by　his　Christianity；　for　he　is　neither　exclusive；　nor　narrow…minded；　nor　opposed　to　progress。　　Infatuated　on　one　point；　of　course；　but　a　thorough　man　in　spite　of　it。〃

Left　once　more　alone　in　her　little　attic　room；　Erica　began　to　think　over　things　more　quietly。　　So　her　father　had　told　him　that　she　liked　opposition；　and　he　had　doled　out　to　her　a　rebuke　which　was　absolutely　unanswerable！　　But　why　unanswerable？　　She　had　been　too　angry　to　reply　at　the　time。　　It　was　one　of　the　few　maxims　her　father　had　given　her；　〃When　you　are　angry　be　very　slow　to　speak。〃　　But　she　might　write　an　answer；　a　nice；　cold；　cutting　answer；　respectful；　of　course；　but　very　frigid。　　She　would　clearly　demonstrate　to　him　that　she　was　perfectly　fair；　and　that　he；　her　accuser；　was　unfair。

And　then　quite　quietly；　she　began　to　turn　over　the　accusations　in　her　mind。　　Quoting　the　words　of　Christ　without　regard　to　the　context；　twisting　their　meaning。　　Neglecting　real　study　of　Christ's　character　and　life。　　Seeing　all　through　a　veil　of　prejudice。

She　would　begin；　like　her　father；　with　a　definition　of　terms。　　What　did　he　mean　by　study？　　What　did　she　mean　by　study？　　Well　such　searching　analysis；　for　instance；　as　she　had　applied　to　the　character　of　Hamlet；　when　she　had　had　to　get　up　one　of　Shakespeare's　plays　for　her　examination。　　She　had　worked　very　hard　at　that；　had　really　taken　every　one　of　his　speeches　and　soliloquies；　and　had　tried　to　gather　his　true　character　from　them　as　well　as　from　his　actions。

At　this　point　she　wandered　away　from　the　subject　a　little　and　began　to　wonder　when　she　should　hear　the　result　of　the　examination；　and　to　hope　that　she　might　get　a　first。　　By　and　by　she　came　to　herself　with　a　sudden　and　very　uncomfortable　shock。　　If　the　sort　of　work　she　had　given　to　Hamlet　was　study；　HAD　she　ever　studied　the　character　of　Christ？

She　had　all　her　life　heard　what　her　father　had　to　say　against　Him；　and　what　a　good　many　well…meaning；　but　not　very　convincing；　people　had　to　say　for　Him。　　She　had　heard　a　few　sermons　and　several　lectures　on　various　subjects　connected　with　Christ's　religion。　　She　had　read　many　books　both　for　and　against　Him。　　She　had　read　the　New　Testament。　　But　could　she　quite　honestly　say　that　she　had　STUDIED　the　character　of　Christ？　　Had　she　not　been　predisposed　to　think　her　father　in　the　right？　　He　would　not　at　all　approve　of　that。　　Had　she　been　a　true　Freethinker？　　Had　she　not　taken　a　good　deal　to　be　truth　because　he　said　it？　　If　so；　she　was　not　a　bit　more　fair　than　the　majority　of　Christians　who　never　took　the　trouble　to　go　into　things　for　themselves；　and　study　things　from　the　point　of　view　of　an　outsider。

In　the　silence　and　darkness　of　her　little　room；　she　began　to　suspect　a　good　many　unpleasant　and　hitherto　unknown　facts　about　herself。

〃After　all；　I　do　believe　that　Mr。　Osmond　was　right；〃　she　confessed　at　length。　〃I　am　glad　to　get　back　my　belief　in　him；　but　I've　come　to　a　horrid　bit　of　lath　and　plaster　in　myself　where　I　thought　it　was　all　good　stone。〃　　She　fell　asleep　and　dreamed　of　the　heathen　Chinee；　reading　the　translation　of　the　translation　of　her　father's　words；　and　disbelieving　altogether　in　〃that　invented　demagogue；　Luke　Raeburn。〃

The　next　day　Charles　Osmond；　sitting　at　work　in　his　study；　and　feeling　more　depressed　and　hopeless　than　he　would　have　cared　to　own　even　to　himself；　was　roused　by　the　arrival　of　a　little　three…cornered　note。　　It　was　as　follow：

〃Dear　Mr。　Osmond；　You　made　me　feel　very　angry　yesterday；　and　sad；　too；　for　of　course　it　was　a　case　of　'Et　tu；　Brute。'　　But　last　night　I　came　to　the　unpleasant　conclusion　that　you　were　quite　right；　and　that　I　was　quite　wrong。　　To　prove　to　you　that　I　am　no　longer　angry；　I　am　going　to　ask　you　a　great　favor。　　Will　you　teach　me　Greek？　　Your　parable　of　the　heathen　Chinee　has　set　me　thinking。　　Yours　very　sincerely；　Erica　Raeburn〃

Charles　Osmond　felt　the　tears　come　to　his　eyes。　　The　straightforward　simplicity　of　the　letter；　the　candid　avowal　of　having　been　〃quite　wrong；〃　an　avowal　not　easy　for　one　of　Erica's　character　to　make；　touched　him　inexpressibly。　　Taking　a　Greek　grammar　from　his　book　shelves；　he　set　off　at　once　for　Guilford　Terrace。

He　found　Erica　looking　very　white　and　fragile；　and　with　lines　of　suffering　about　her　mouth；　but；　though　physically　weary；　her　mind　seemed　as　vigorous　as　ever。　　She　received　him　with　her　usual　frankness；　and　with　more　animation　in　her　look　than　he　had　seen　for　some　weeks。

〃I　did　think　you　perfectly　horrid　yesterday！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃And　was　miserable；　besides；　at　the　prospect　of　losing　one　of　my　heroes。　　You　can　be　very　severe。〃

〃The　infliction　of　pain　is　only　justified　when　the　inflictor　is　certain；　or　as　nearly　certain　as　he　can　be；　that　the　pain　will　be　productive　of　good；〃　said　Charles　Osmond。

〃I　suppose　that　is　the　way　you　account　for　the　origin　of　evil；〃　said　Erica；　thoughtfully。

〃Yes；〃　replied　Charles　Osmond；　pleased　that　she　should　have　thought　of　the　subject；　〃that　to　me　seems　the　only　possible　explanation；　otherwise　God　would　be　either　not　perfectly　good　or　not　omnipotent。　　His　all…wisdom　enables　Him　to　overrule　that　pain　which　He　has　willed　to　be　the　necessary　outcome　of　infractions　of　His　order。　　Pain；　you　see；　is　made　into　a　means　of　helping　us　to　find　out　where　that　order　has　been　broken；　and　so　teaching　us　to　obey　it　in　the　long　run。〃

〃But　if　there　is　an　all…powerful　God；　wouldn't　it　have　been　much　better　if　He　had　made　it　impossible　for　us　to　go　wrong？〃

〃It　would　have　saved　much　trouble；　undoubtedly；　but　do　you　think　that　which　costs　us　least　trouble　is　generally　the　most　worth　having？　　I　know　a　noble　fellow　who　has　fought　his　way　upward　through　sins　and　temptations　you　would　like　him；　by　the　way；　for　he　was　once　an　atheist。　　He　is；　by　virtue　of　all　he　has　passed　through；　all　he　has　overcome；　one　of　the　fines　men　I　have　ever　known。〃

〃That　is　the　friend；　I　suppose；　whom　your　son　mentioned　to　me。　　But　I　don't　see　your　argument；　for　if　there　was　an　all…powerful　God；　He　could　have　caused　the　man　you　speak　of　to　be　as　noble　and　good　without　passing　through　pain　and　temptation。〃

〃But　God　does　not　work　arbitrarily；　but　by　laws　of　progression。　　Nor　does　His　omnipotence　include　the　working　of　contradictions。　　He　cannot　both　cause　a　thing　to　be　and　not　to　be　at　the　same　time。　　If　it　is　a　law　that　that　which　has　grown　by　struggle　and　effort　shall　be　most　noble；　God　will　not　arbitrarily　reverse　that　law　or　truth　because　the　creation　of　sinless　beings　would　involve　less　trouble。〃

〃It　all　seems　to　me　so　unreal！〃　exclaimed　Erica。　　〃It　seems　like　talking　of　thin　air！〃

〃I　expect　it　does；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　trying　to　realize　to　himself　　her　position。

There　was　a　silence。

〃How　did　this　man　of　whom　you　speak　come　to　desert　our　side？〃　asked　Erica。　　〃I　suppose；　as　you　say　he　was　one　of　the　finest　men　you　ever　knew；　he　must；　at　least；　have　had　a　great　intellect。　　How　did　he　begin　to　think　all　these　unlikely；　unreal　things　true？〃

〃Donovan　began　by　seeing　the　grandeur　of　the　character　of　Christ。　　He　followed　his　example　for　many　years；　calling　himself　all　the　time　an　atheist；　at　last　he　realized　that　in　Christ　we　see　the　Father。〃

〃I　am　sorry　we　lost　him　if　he　is　such　a　nice　man；〃　was　Erica's　sole　comment。　　Then；　turning　her　beautiful　eyes　on　Charles　Osmond；　she　said；　〃I　hope　my　note　did　not　convey　to　you　more　than　I　intended。　　I　asked　you　if　you　would　teach　me　Greek；　and　I　mean　to　try　to　study　the　character　of　Christ；　but；　quite　to　speak　the　truth；　I　don't　really　want　to　do　it。　　I　only　do　it　because　I　see　I　have　not　been　fair。〃

〃You　do　it　for　the　sake　of　being　a　truth…seeker；　the　best　possible　reason。〃

〃I　thought　you　would　think　I　was　going　to　do　it　because　I　hoped　to　get　something。　　I　thought　one　of　your　strong　points　was　that　people　must　come　in　a　state　of　need　and　expecting　to　be　satisfied。　　I　don't　expect　anything。　　I　am　only　doing　it　　for　the　sake　of　honesty　and　thoroughness。　　I　don't　expect　any　good　at　all。〃

〃Is　it　likely　that　you　can　expect　when　you　know　so　little　what　is　there？　　What　can　you　bring　better　than　an　hones　mind　to　the　search？　　Erica；　if　I　hadn't　known　that　you　were　absolutely　sincere；　I　should　not　have　dared　to　give　you　the　pain　I　gave　you　yesterday。　　It　was　my　trust　in　your　perfect　sincerity　which　brought　you　that　strong　accusation。　　Even　then　it　was　a　sore　piece　of　work。〃

〃Did　you　mind　it　a　little；〃　exclaimed　Erica。　　But　directly　she　had　spoken；　she　felt　that　the　qu