we two-第39章

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ng　killed　by　inches。〃

〃You're　not　cowardly；〃　said　Tom；　warmly。　　〃You've　been　brave　and　plucky；　I　only　wish　it　were　in　a　better　cause。　　Look　here；　Erica；　only　stop　crying；　and　promise　me　that　you'll　not　take　this　so　dreadfully　to　heart。　　I'll　stand　by　you　I　will；　indeed；　even　though　I　hate　your　cause。　　But　it　sha'n't　come　between　us　any　longer；　the　hateful　delusion　has　spoiled　enough　lives　already。　　It　sha'n't　spoil　ours。〃

〃Oh；　don't！〃　cried　Erica；　wounded　anew　by　this。

〃Well；〃　said　Tom；　gulping　down　his　longing　to　inveigh　against　Christianity；　〃it　goes　hard　with　me　not　to　say　a　word　against　the　religion　that　has　brought　us　all　our　misery；　but　for　your　sake　I'll　try　not　when　talking　with　you。　　Now　let　us　begin　again　on　the　old　footing。〃

〃Not　quite　on　the　old　　footing　either；〃　said　Erica；　who　had　conquered　her　tears。　　〃I　love　you　a　thousand　times　more；　you　dear　old　Tom。〃

And　Tom；　who　was　made　of　sterling　stuff；　did　from　that　day　forward　stand　by　her　through　everything；　and　checked　himself　when　harsh　words　about　religious　matters　rose　to　his　lips；　and　tried　his　best　to　smooth　what　could　not　fail　to　be　a　rough　bit　of　walking。

The　first　meeting　between　Charles　Osmond　and　Erica；　after　her　return　from　Codrington；　did　not　come　about　till　the　morning　after　her　conversation　with　Tom。　　They　had　each　called　on　the　other；　but　had　somehow　managed　to　miss。　　When　at　length　Erica　was　shown　into　the　study；　connected　in　her　mind　with　so　many　warm　discussions；　she　found　it　empty。　　She　sat　down　in　the　great　arm　chair　by　the　window；　wondering　if　she　were　indeed　the　same　Erica　who　had　sat　there　years　before；　on　the　day　when　her　〃prophet〃　had　foretold　her　illness。　　What　changes　had　come　about　since　then！

But　her　〃Prophet〃　was　unchanged；　his　brisk；　〃Well　Erica！〃　was　exactly　what　it　had　been　when　she　had　come　to　him　in　the　days　of　her　atheism。　　It　had　always　been　full　of　welcome　and　sympathy；　and　now　the　only　difference　was　that　a　great　happiness　shone　in　his　eyes　as　he　came　forward　with　his　soft；　steady　tread　and　took　her　hand　in　both　his。

They　sat　silent　for　awhile；　then　talked　a　little　but　reservedly；　for　both　felt　that　the　subject　which　filled　their　thoughts　was　at　once　too　sacred　and　too　personal　to　be　altogether　put　into　words。　　Then　by　and　by　they　began　to　discuss　the　practical　consequences　of　the　change；　and　especially　the　great　difficulty　as　to　Erica's　means　of　supporting　herself。

〃Could　you　not　try　teaching？〃　said　Charles　Osmond。

〃The　market　is　already　overstocked。〃

〃True；　but　I　should　think　that　your　brains　and　certificates　ought　to　secure　you　work　in　spite　of　that。〃

〃I　should　like　it　in　many　ways；〃　said　Erica；　〃but；　you　see；　except　at　the　night　school　it　is　out　of　the　question；　and　I　could　not　live　upon　my　grant　even　if　every　one　of　my　class　passed　the　examination。　　For　any　other　sort　of　teaching　who　do　you　imagine　would　have　the　courage　to　employ　any　one　bearing　the　name　of　Raeburn？　　Why；　I　can't　give　an　order　in　a　shop　without　being　looked　all　over　by　the　person　who　takes　the　address。　　No；　governessing　would　be　all　very　well　if　one　might　assume　a　nom　de　guerre；　but　that　would　not　do；　you　see。〃

〃You　couldn't　find　work　of　that　sort　among　your　own　set；　I　suppose？〃

〃Not　now；〃　said　Erica。　　〃You　see；　naturally　enough；　I　am　very　much　out　of　favor　with　them　all。〃

〃Falling　between　two　stools；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　half　to　himself。　　〃But　don't　lose　heart；　Erica：　　'A　stone　that　is　fit　for　the　wall　will　not　be　left　in　the　way；'　there　is　work　for　you　somewhere。　　By　the　way；　I　might　see　old　Crutchley　he　knows　all　the　literary　folk；　and　might　get　you　an　introduction　to　some　one；　at　any　rate。〃

Just　as　Erica　was　leaving　Brian　came　in　from　his　rounds；　　and　they　met　at　the　door。　　Had　he　known　her　trouble　and　perplexity　as　to　work；　no　power　on　earth　could　have　induced　him　to　keep　silence　any　longer；　but　he　knew　nothing。　　She　looked　a　little　pale；　but　that　was　natural　enough；　and　in　her　eyes　he　could　see　a　peace　which　he　had　never　seen　there　before。　　Then　deep　unselfish　happiness　filled　his　heart　again；　and　Erica　recognized　in　his　greeting　a　great　deal　more　than　an　ordinary　by…stander　would　have　seen。　　She　went　away　feeling　bettered　by　that　handclasp。

〃That　is　a　downright　good　man！〃　she　thought　to　herself。　　〃Perhaps　by　the　time　he's　fifty…five；　he'll　be　almost　equal　to　his　father。〃


CHAPTER　XXII。　An　Editor

Socrates　　　How　singular　is　the　thing　called　pleasure；　and　how　curiously　related　to　pain；　which　might　be　thought　to　be　the　opposite；　for　they　never　come　to　a　man　together；　and　yet　he　who　pursues　either　of　them　is　generally　compelled　to　take　the　other。　　They　are　two；　and　yet　they　grow　together　out　of　one　head　or　stem；　and　I　can　not　help　thinking　that；　if　Aesop　had　noticed　them；　he　would　have　made　a　fable　about　God　trying　to　reconcile　their　strife；　and　when　he　could　not；　he　fastened　their　heads　together；　and　this　is　the　reason　why　when　one　comes　the　other　follows。　　Plato

That　Erica　should　live　any　longer　upon　the　money　which　her　father　chiefly　made　by　the　dissemination　of　views　with　which　she　disagreed　was　clearly　impossible；　at　least　impossible　to　one　of　her　sincere　and　thorough　nature。　　But　to　find　work　was　very　difficult；　indeed。　After　an　anxious　waiting　and　searching；　she　was　one　day　surprised　by　receiving　through　Charles　Osmond's　friend；　Mr。　Crutchley；　an　introduction　to　the　editor　of　a　well…known　and　widely　read　paper。　　Every　one　congratulated　her；　but　she　could　not　feel　very　hopeful；　it　seemed　too　good　to　prove　true　it　was；　in　fact；　so　exactly　the　position　which　she　would　herself　have　chosen　that　it　seemed　unlikely　it　should　ever　really　be　hers。　　Still　of　course　she　hoped；　and　arrangements　were　made　for　an　interview　with　Mr。　Bircham；　editor　and　part　proprietor　of　the　〃Daily　Review。〃

Accordingly；　one　hot　summer　morning　Erica　dressed　herself　carefully；　tried　to　look　old　and　serious；　and　set　off　with　Tom　to　the　city。

〃I'll　see　you　safe　to　the　door　of　the　lion's　den；〃　said　Tom　as　they　made　their　way　along　the　crowded　streets。　　〃I　only　wish　I　could　be　under　the　table　during　the　interview；　I　should　like　to　see　you　doing　the　dignified　journalist。〃

〃I　wouldn't　have　you　for　the　world！〃　said　Erica；　laughing。　　Then；　growing　grave　again；　〃Oh；　Tom！　How　I　wish　it　were　over！　　It's　worse　than　three　hundred　visits　to　a　dentist　rolled　into　one。〃

〃Appalling　prospect！〃　said　Tom。　　〃I　can　exactly　picture　what　it　will　be。　　BIRCHAM！　　Such　a　forbidding　name　for　an　editor。　　He'll　be　a　sort　of　editorial　Mr。　Squeers；　he'll　talk　in　a　loud；　blustering　way；　and　you'll　feel　exactly　like　a　journalistic　Smike。〃

〃No；〃　said　Erica；　laughing。　〃He'll　be　a　neat　little　dapper　man；　very　smooth　and　bland；　and　he'll　talk　patronizingly　and　raise　my　hopes；　and　then；　in　a　few　days'　time　will　send　me　a　polite　refusal。〃

〃Tell　him　at　once　that　you　hero…worship　Sir　Michael　Cunningham；　the　statesman　of　the　age；　the　most　renowned　'Sly　Bacon！'〃

〃Tom；　do　be　quiet！〃　said　Erica。　　〃I　wish　you　had　never　thought　of　that　horrid　name。〃

〃Horrid！　　I　mean　to　make　my　fortune　out　of　it。　　If　you　like；　　you　can　offer　the　pun　on　reasonable　terms　to　Mr。　Bircham。〃

〃Why；　this　is　Fleet　Street！　　Doesn't　it　lead　out　of　this？〃　said　Erica；　with　an　indescribable　feeling　in　the　back　of　her　neck。　　〃We　must　be　quite　near。〃

〃Nearer　than　near；〃　said　Tom。　　〃Now　then；　left　wheel！　　Here　we　are；　you　see。　　It's　a　mercy　that　you　turn　pink　with　fright；　not　green　like　the　sea…green　Robespierre。　　Go　in　looking　as　pretty　as　that；　and　Mr。　Squeers　will　graciously　accept　your　services；　unless　he's　sand…blind。〃

〃What　a　tease　you　are。　　Do　be　quiet！〃　implored　Erica。　　And　then；　in　what　seemed　to　her　an　alarmingly　short　time　she　was　actually　left　by　herself　to　beard　the　lion；　and　a　clerk　was　assuring　her　that　Mr。　Bircham　was　in；　and　would　she　walk　upstairs。

For　reasons　best　known　to　himself；　the　editor　of　the　〃Daily　Review〃　had　his　private　room　at　the　very　top　of　the　house。　　A　sedate　clerk　led　the　way　up　a　dingy　staircase；　and　Erica　toiled　after　him；　wondering　how　much　breath　she　should　have　left　by　the　time　she　reached　the　end。　　On　one　of　the　landings　she　caught　sight　of　a　sandy　cat　and　felt　a　little　reassured　at　meeting　such　an　every…day　creature　in　this　grim　abode；　she　gave　it　a　furtive　stroke　as　she　passed；　and　would　have　felt　it　a　protection　if　she　could　have　picked　it　up　and　taken　it　with　her。　　That　would　have　been　undignified；　however；　and　by　the　time　she　reached　the　editor's　room　only　a　very　observant　person　could　have　discovered　in　her　frank；　self…possessed　manner　any　trace　of　nervousness。

So　different　was　Mr　Bircham　from　their　preconceived　notions　that　she　could　almost　have　laughed　at　the　contrast。　　He　was　very　tall　and　pompous；　he　wore　a　lank　brown　wig　which　looked　as　if　it　might　come　off　at　any　moment；　he　had　little　keen　gray　eyes　which　twinkled；　and　a　broad　mouth　which　shut　very　closely；　whether　it　was　grim　or　humorous　she　could　not　quite　decide。　　He　was　sitting　in　a　swivel　chair；　and　the　table　strewn　with　letters；　and　the　desk　with　its　pigeon　holes　crammed　with　papers；　looked　so　natural　and　so　like　her　father's　that　she　began　to　feel　a　reassuring　sense　of　fellowship　with　this　entire　stranger。　　The　inevitable　paste…pot　and　scissors；　the　piles　of　newspapers；　the　books　of　reference；　all　looked　homelike　to　her。

Mr。　Bircham　rose　and　bowed　rather　formally；　motioned　her　to　a　seat；　and　swung　round　his　own　seat　so　that　they　faced　one　another。　　Then　he　scanned　her　from　head　to　foot　with　the　sort　of　appraising　glance　to　which　she　was　only　too　well　accustomed　a　glance　which　said　as　plainly　as　words：　〃Oh！〃　　So　you　are　that　atheist's　daughter　are　you？〃

But　whatever　impression　Erica　made　upon　Mr。　Bircham；　not　a　muscle　of　his　face　altered；　and　he　began　to　discuss　business　in　a　most　formal　and　business…like　way。　　Things　did　not　seem　very　hopeful；　and　Erica　began　to　doubt　more　and　ore　whether　she　had　the　smallest　chance　of　acceptance。　　Something　in　the　dry　formal　manner　of　the　editor　struck　a　chill　to　her　heart。　　So　much；　so　very　much　depended　on　this　interview；　and　already　the　prospect　seemed　far　from　hopeful。

〃I　should　like　to　see　some　of　your　work；〃　observed　Mr。　Bircham。　　〃How　long　have　you　been　in　the　habit　of　writing　in　Mr。　Raeburn's　organ？〃

〃For　the　last　five　years；〃　said　Erica。

Mr。　Bircham　lifted　his　shaggy　eyebrows　at　this；　for　Erica　looked　even　younger　than　she　really　was。　　However；　he　made　no　comment；　but　took　up　the　end　of　a　speaking　tube。

〃Send　up　Jones　with　the　file　of　'Idol…Breakers'　I　ordered。〃

Erica's　color　rose。　　Presently　the　answer　from　the　lower　regions　appeared　in　the　shape　of　the　sedate　clerk　carrying　a　great　bundle　of　last　year's　'Idol…Breakers。'

〃Perhaps　you　will　show　me　one　or　two　of　your　average　articles；〃　said　Mr。　Bircham；　and；　while　Erica　searched　through　the　bundle　of　papers；　he　took　up　one　of　the　copies　which　she　had　put　aside；　and　studied　the　outside　page　critically。　　〃'The　Idol…Breaker：'　Advocate　of　Freethought　and　Secularism。　　Edited　by　Luke　Raeburn。〃

〃They　are　slaves　who　dare　not　be　In　the　right　with　two　or　three。〃

Mr。　Bircham　put　it　down　and　began　to　watch　her　attentively。　　She　was　absorbed　in　her　search；　and　was　quite　unconscious　of　his　scrutiny。　　Even　had　she　noticed　him；　she　would　not　have　understood　what　was　pa