david elginbrod-第83章

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may　find　in　believing　in　such　a　character：　either　that；　not　being
poor；　he　has　never　needed　such　a　friend；　or　that；　being　rich；　he　has
never　been　such　a　friend。

Or　if　it　be　that；　being　poor；　he　has　never　found　such　a　friend；　his
difficulty　is　easy　to　remove：I　have。




CHAPTER　XXII。

DEATH。

Think　then；　my　soul；　that　death　is　but　a　groom
Which　brings　a　taper　to　the　outward　room；
Whence　thou　spy'st　first　a　little　glimmering　light；
And　after　brings　it　nearer　to　thy　sight：
For　such　approaches　doth　heaven　make　in　death。

DR。　DONNE。


Hugh　found　his　mother　even　worse　than　he　had　expected；　but　she
rallied　a　little　after　his　arrival。

In　the　evening；　he　wandered　out　in　the　bright　moonlit　snow。

How　strange　it　was　to　see　all　the　old　forms　with　his　heart　so　full
of　new　things！　　The　same　hills　rose　about　him；　with　all　the　lines　of
their　shapes　unchanged　in　seeming。　　Yet　they　were　changing　as　surely
as　himself；　nay；　he　continued　more　the　same　than　they；　for　in　him
the　old　forms　were　folded　up　in　the　new。　　In　the　eyes　of　Him　who
creates　time；　there　is　no　rest；　but　a　living　sacred　change；　a
journeying　towards　rest。　　He　alone　rests；　and　he　alone；　in　virtue　of
his　rest；　creates　change。

He　thought　with　sadness；　how　all　the　haunts　of　his　childhood　would
pass　to　others；　who　would　feel　no　love　or　reverence　for　them；　that
the　house　would　be　the　same；　but　sounding　with　new　steps；　and
ringing　with　new　laughter。　　A　little　further　thought；　however；　soon
satisfied　him　that　places　die　as　well　as　their　dwellers；　that；　by
slow　degrees；　their　forms　are　wiped　out；　that　the　new　tastes
obliterate　the　old　fashions；　and　that　ere　long　the　very　shape　of　the
house　and　farm　would　be　lapped；　as　it　were；　about　the　tomb　of　him
who　had　been　the　soul　of　the　shape；　and　would　vanish　from　the　face
of　the　earth。

All　the　old　things　at　home　looked　sad。　　The　look　came　from　this；
that；　though　he　could　sympathize　with　them　and　their　story；　they
could　not　sympathize　with　him；　and　he　suffused　them　with　his　own
sadness。　　He　could　find　no　refuge　in　the　past；　he　must　go　on　into
the　future。

His　mother　lingered　for　some　time　without　any　evident　change。　　He
sat　by　her　bedside　the　most　of　the　day。　　All　she　wanted　was　to　have
him　within　reach　of　her　feeble　voice；　that　she　might；　when　she
pleased；　draw　him　within　touch　of　her　feeble　hand。　　Once　she　said：

〃My　boy；　I　am　going　to　your　father。〃

〃Yes；　mother；　I　think　you　are；〃　Hugh　replied。　〃How　glad　he　will　be
to　see　you！〃

〃But　I　shall　leave　you　alone。〃

〃Mother；　I　love　God。〃

The　mother　looked　at　him；　as　only　a　mother　can　look；　smiled　sweetly；
closed　her　eyes　as　with　the　weight　of　her　contentment；　fell　asleep
holding　his　hand；　and　slept　for　hours。

Meanwhile；　in　London；　Margaret　was　watching　Euphra。　　She　was　dying；
and　Margaret　was　the　angel　of　life　watching　over　her。

〃I　shall　get　rid　of　my　lameness　there；　Margaret；　shall　I　not？〃　said
Euphra；　one　day；　half　playfully。

〃Yes；　dear。〃

〃It　will　be　delightful　to　walk　again　without　pain。〃

〃Perhaps　you　will　not　get　rid　of　it　all　at　once；　though。〃

〃Why　do　you　think　so？〃　asked　Euphra；　with　some　appearance　of
uneasiness。

〃Because；　if　it　is　taken　from　you　before　you　are　quite　willing　to
have　it　as　long　as　God　pleases；　by　and　by　you　will　not　be　able　to
rest；　till　you　have　asked　for　it　back　again；　that　you　may　bear　it
for　his　sake。〃

〃I　am　willing；　Margaret；　I　am　willing。　　Only　one　can't　like　it；　you
know。〃

〃I　know　that；〃　answered　Margaret。

She　spoke　no　more；　and　Margaret　heard　her　weeping　gently。　　Half　an
hour　had　passed　away；　when　she　looked　up；　and　said：

〃Margaret；　dear；　I　begin　to　like　my　lameness；　I　think。〃

〃Why；　dear？〃

〃Why；　just　because　God　made　it；　and　bade　me　bear　it。　　May　I　not
think　it　is　a　mark　on　me　from　his　hand？〃

〃Yes；　I　think　so。〃

〃Why　do　you　think　it　came　on　me？〃

〃To　walk　back　to　Him　with；　dear。〃

〃Yes；　yes；　I　see　it　all。〃

Until　now；　Margaret　had　not　known　to　what　a　degree　the　lameness　of
Euphra　had　troubled　her。　　That　her　pretty　ancle　should　be　deformed；
and　her　light　foot　able　only　to　limp；　had　been　a　source　of　real
distress　to　her；　even　in　the　midst　of　far　deeper。

The　days　passed　on；　and　every　day　she　grew　weaker。　　She　did　not
suffer　much；　but　nothing　seemed　to　do　her　good。　　Mrs。　Elton　was
kindness　itself。　　Harry　was　in　dreadful　distress。　　He　haunted　her
room；　creeping　in　whenever　he　had　a　chance；　and　sitting　in　corners
out　of　the　way。　　Euphra　liked　to　have　him　near　her。　　She　seldom
spoke　to　him；　or　to　any　one　but　Margaret；　for　Margaret　alone　could
hear　with　ease　what　she　said。　　But　now　and　then　she　would　motion　him
to　her　bedside；　and　sayit　was　always　the　same

〃Harry；　dear；　be　good。〃

〃I　will；　indeed　I　will；　dear　Euphra；〃　was　still　Harry's　reply。

Once；　expressing　to　Margaret　her　regret　that　she　should　be　such　a
trouble　to　her；　she　said：

〃You　have　to　do　so　much　for　me；　that　I　am　ashamed。〃

〃Do　let　me　wash　the　feet　of　one　of　his　disciples；〃　Margaret　replied；
gently　expostulating；　after　which；　Euphra　never　grumbled　at　her　own
demands　upon　her。

Again；　one　day；　she　said：

〃I　am　not　right　at　all　to…day；　Margaret。　　God　can't　love　me；　I　am　so
hateful。〃

〃Don't　measure　God's　mind　by　your　own；　Euphra。　　It　would　be　a　poor
love　that　depended　not　on　itself；　but　on　the　feelings　of　the　person
loved。　　A　crying　baby　turns　away　from　its　mother's　breast；　but　she
does　not　put　it　away　till　it　stops　crying。　　She　holds　it　closer。
For　my　part；　in　the　worst　mood　I　am　ever　in；　when　I　don't　feel　I
love　God　at　all；　I　just　look　up　to　his　love。　　I　say　to　him：　'Look　at
me。　　See　what　state　I　am　in。　　Help　me！〃　　Ah！　you　would　wonder　how
that　makes　peace。　　And　the　love　comes　of　itself；　sometimes　so
strong；　it　nearly　breaks　my　heart。〃

〃But　there　is　a　text　I　don't　like。〃

〃Take　another；　then。〃

〃But　it　will　keep　coming。〃

〃Give　it　back　to　God；　and　never　mind　it。〃

〃But　would　that　be　right？〃

〃One　day；　when　I　was　a　little　girl；　so　high；　I　couldn't　eat　my
porridge；　and　sat　looking　at　it。　'Eat　your　porridge；'　said　my
mother。　'I　don't　want　it；'　I　answered。　'There's　nothing　else　for
you；'　said　my　motherfor　she　had　not　learned　so　much　from　my　father
then；　as　she　did　before　he　died。　'Hoots！'　said　my　fatherI　cannot；
dear　Euphra；　make　his　words　into　English。〃

〃No；　no；　don't；〃　said　Euphra；　〃I　shall　understand　them　perfectly。〃

〃'Hoots！　　Janet；　my　woman！'　said　my　father。　'Gie　the　bairn　a　dish　o'
tay。　　Wadna　ye　like　some　tay；　Maggy；　my　doo？'　'Ay　wad　I；'　said　I。
'The　parritch　is　guid　eneuch；〃　said　my　mother。　'Nae　doot　aboot　the
parritch；　woman；　it's　the　bairn's　stamack；　it's　no　the　parritch。'
My　mother　said　no　more；　but　made　me　a　cup　of　such　nice　tea；　for
whenever　she　gave　in；　she　gave　in　quite。　　I　drank　it；　and；　half　from
anxiety　to　please　my　mother；　half　from　reviving　hunger；　attacked　the
porridge　next；　and　ate　it　up。　'Leuk　at　that！'　said　my　father。
'Janet；　my　woman；　gie　a　body　the　guid　that　they　can　tak'；　an'
they'll　sune　tak'　the　guid　that　they　canna。　　Ye're　better　noo；
Maggy；　my　doo？'　　I　never　told　him　that　I　had　taken　the　porridge　too
soon　after　all；　and　had　to　creep　into　the　wood；　and　be　sick。　　But　it
is　all　the　same　for　the　story。〃

Euphra　laughed　a　feeble　but　delighted　laugh；　and　applied　the　story
for　herself。

So　the　winter　days　passed　on。

〃I　wish　I　could　live　till　the　spring；〃　said　Euphra。　〃I　should　like
to　see　a　snowdrop　and　a　primrose　again。〃

〃Perhaps　you　will；　dear；　but　you　are　going　into　a　better　spring。　　I
could　almost　envy　you；　Euphra。〃

〃But　shall　we　have　spring　there？〃

〃I　think　so。〃

〃And　spring…flowers？〃

〃I　think　we　shallbetter　than　here。〃

〃But　they　will　not　mean　so　much。〃

〃Then　they　won't　be　so　good。　　But　I　should　think　they　would　mean
ever　so　much　more；　and　be　ever　so　much　more　spring…like。　　They　will
be　the　spring…flowers　to　all　winters　in　one；　I　think。〃

Folded　in　the　love　of　this　woman；　anointed　for　her　death　by　her
wisdom；　baptized　for　the　new　life　by　her　sympathy　and　its　tears；
Euphra　died　in　the　arms　of　Margaret。

Margaret　wept；　fell　on　her　knees；　and　gave　God　thanks。　　Mrs。　Elton
was　so　distressed；　that；　as　soon　as　the　funeral　was　over；　she　broke
up　her　London　household；　sending　some　of　the　servants　home　to　the
country；　and　taking　some　to　her　favourite　watering　place；　to　which
Harry　also　accompanied　her。

She　hoped　that；　now　the　affair　of　the　ring　was　cleared　up；　she
might；　as　soon　as　Hugh　returned；　succeed　in　persuading　him　to　follow
them　to　Devonshire；　and　resume　his　tutorship。　　This　would　satisfy
her　anxiety　about　Hugh　and　Harry　both。

Hugh's　mother　died　too；　and　was　buried。　　When　he　returned　from　the
grave　which　now　held　both　father　and　mother；　he　found　a　short　note
from　Margaret；　telling　him　that　Euphra　was　gone。　　Sorrow　is　easier
to　bear　when　it　comes　upon　sorrow；　but　he　could　not　help　feeling　a
keen　additional　pang；　when　he　learned　that　she　was　dead　whom　he　had
loved　once；　and　now　loved　better。　　Margaret's　note　informed　him
likewise　that　Euphra　had　left　a　written　request；　that　her　diamond
ring　should　be　given　to　him　to　wear　for　her　sake。

He　prepared　to　leave　the　home　whence　all　the　homeness　had　now
vanished；　except　what　indeed　lingered　in　the　presence　of　an　old
nurse；　who　had　remained　faithful　to　his　mother　to　the　last。　　The
body　itself　is　of　little　value　after　the　spirit；　the　love；　is　out　of
it：　so　the　house　and　all　the　old　things　are　little　enough；　after　the
loved　ones　are　gone　who　kept　it　alive　and　made　it　home。

All　that　Hugh　could　do　for　this　old　nurse　was　to　furnish　a　cottage
for　her　out　of　his　mother's　furniture；　giving　her　everything　she
liked　best。　　Then　he　gathered　the　little　household　treasures；　the
few　books；　the　few　portraits　and　ornaments；　his　father's　sword；　and
his　mother's　wedding…ring；　destroyed　with　sacred　fire　all　written
papers；　sold　the　remainder　of　the　furniture；　which　he　would　gladly
have　burnt　too；　and　so　proceeded　to　take　his　last　departure　from　the
home　of　his　childhood。




CHAPTER　XXIII。

NATURE　AND　HER　LADY。

Die　Frauen　sind　ein　liebliches　Geheimniss；　nur　verh黮lt；　nicht
verschlossen。NOVALIS。…Moralische　Ansichten。

Women　are　a　lovely　mysteryveiled；　however；　not　shut　up。

Her　twilights　were　more　clear　than　our　mid…day；
She　dreamt　devoutlier　than　most　used　to　pray。

DR。　DONNE。


Perhaps　the　greatest　benefit　that　resulted　to　Hugh　from　being　thus
made　a　pilgrim　and　a　stranger　in　the　earth；　was；　that　Nature　herself
saw　him；　and　took　him　in；　Hitherto；　as　I　have　already　said；　Hugh's
acquaintance　with　Nature　had　been　chiefly　a　second…hand　onehe　knew
friends　of　hers。　　Nature　in　poetrynot　in　the　form　of　Thomsonian　or
Cowperian　descriptions；　good　as　they　are；　but　closely　interwoven
with　and　expository　of　human　thought　and　feelinghad　long　been　dear
to　him。　　In　this　form　he　had　believed　that　he　knew　her　so　well；　as
to　be　able　to　reproduce　the　lineaments　of　her　beloved　face。　　But　now
she　herself　appeared　to　himthe　grand；　pure；　tender　mother；　ancient
in　years；　yet　ever　young；　appeared　to　him；　not　in　the　mirror　of　a
man's　words；　but　bending　over　him　from　the　fathomless　bosom　of　the
sky；　from　the　outspread　arms　of　the　forest…trees；　from　the　silent
judgment　of　the　everlasting　hills。　　She　spok