all roads lead to calvary-第7章

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　upon　the　helpless　patients　of　private　Nursing　Homes；　Miss　Lavery　shook　her　head。

〃I　know；〃　she　said。　　〃One　does　hear　complaints　about　them。　Unfortunately　it　is　one　of　the　few　businesses　managed　entirely　by　women；　and　just　now；　in　particular；　if　we　were　to　say　anything；　it　would　be　made　use　of　by　our　enemies　to　injure　the　Cause。〃

There　was　a　summer　years　agoit　came　back　to　Joan's　mindwhen　she　had　shared　lodgings　with　a　girl　chum　at　a　crowded　sea…side　watering…place。　　The　rooms　were　shockingly　dirty；　and　tired　of　dropping　hints　she　determined　one　morning　to　clean　them　herself。　She　climbed　a　chair　and　started　on　a　row　of　shelves　where　lay　the　dust　of　ages。　　It　was　a　jerry…built　house；　and　the　result　was　that　she　brought　the　whole　lot　down　about　her　head；　together　with　a　quarter　of　a　hundred…weight　of　plaster。

〃Yes；　I　thought　you'd　do　some　mischief；〃　had　commented　the　landlady；　wearily。

It　seemed　typical。　　A　jerry…built　world；　apparently。　　With　the　best　intentions　it　seemed　impossible　to　move　in　it　without　doing　more　harm　than　good　to　it；　bringing　things　down　about　one　that　one　had　not　intended。

She　wanted　to　abolish　steel　rabbit…traps。　　She　had　heard　the　little　beggars　cry。　　It　had　struck　her　as　such　a　harmless　reform。　　But　they　told　her　there　were　worthy　people　in　the　neighbourhood　of　Wolverhamptonquite　a　number　of　themwho　made　their　living　by　the　manufacture　of　steel　rabbit…traps。　　If；　thinking　only　of　the　rabbits；　you　prohibited　steel　rabbit…traps；　then　you　condemned　all　these　worthy　people　to　slow　starvation。　　The　local　Mayor　himself　wrote　in　answer　to　her　article。　　He　drew　a　moving　picture　of　the　sad　results　that　might　follow　such　an　ill…considered　agitation：　hundreds　of　grey…haired　men；　too　old　to　learn　new　jobs；　begging　from　door　to　door；　shoals　of　little　children；　white…faced　and　pinched；　sobbing　women。　　Her　editor　was　sorry　for　the　rabbits。　　Had　often　spent　a　pleasant　day　with　them　himself。　　But；　after　all；　the　Human　Race　claimed　our　first　sympathies。

She　wanted　to　abolish　sweating。　　She　had　climbed　the　rotting　stairways；　seen　the　famished　creatures　in　their　holes。　　But　it　seemed　that　if　you　interfered　with　the　complicated　system　based　on　sweating　then　you　dislocated　the　entire　structure　of　the　British　export　clothing　trade。　　Not　only　would　these　poor　creatures　lose　their　admittedly　wretched　livingbut　still　a　livingbut　thousands　of　other　innocent　victims　would　also　be　involved　in　the　common　ruin。　　All　very　sad；　but　half　a　loafor　even　let　us　frankly　say　a　thin　sliceis　better　than　no　bread　at　all。

She　wanted　board　school　children's　heads　examined。　　She　had　examined　one　or　two　herself。　　It　seemed　to　her　wrong　that　healthy　children　should　be　compelled　to　sit　for　hours　within　jumping　distance　of　the　diseased。　　She　thought　it　better　that　the　dirty　should　be　made　fit　company　for　the　clean　than　the　clean　should　be　brought　down　to　the　level　of　the　dirty。　　It　seemed　that　in　doing　this　you　were　destroying　the　independence　of　the　poor。　　Opposition　reformers；　in　letters　scintillating　with　paradox；　bristling　with　classical　allusion；　denounced　her　attempt　to　impose　middle…class　ideals　upon　a　too　long　suffering　proletariat。　　Better　far　a　few　lively　little　heads　than　a　broken…spirited　people　robbed　of　their　parental　rights。

Through　Miss　Lavery　she　obtained　an　introduction　to　the　great　Sir　William。　　He　owned　a　group　of　popular　provincial　newspapers；　and　was　most　encouraging。　　Sir　William　had　often　said　to　himself：

〃What　can　I　do　for　God　who　has　done　so　much　for　me？〃　　It　seemed　only　fair。

He　asked　her　down　to　his　〃little　place　in　Hampshire；〃　to　talk　plans　over。　　The　〃little　place；〃　it　turned　out；　ran　to　forty　bedrooms；　and　was　surrounded　by　three　hundred　acres　of　park。　　God　had　evidently　done　his　bit　quite　handsomely。

It　was　in　a　secluded　corner　of　the　park　that　Sir　William　had　gone　down　upon　one　knee　and　gallantly　kissed　her　hand。　　His　idea　was　that　if　she　could　regard　herself　as　his　〃Dear　Lady；〃　and　allow　him　the　honour　and　privilege　of　being　her　〃True　Knight；〃　that；　between　them；　they　might　accomplish　something　really　useful。　　There　had　been　some　difficulty　about　his　getting　up　again；　Sir　William　being　an　elderly　gentleman　subject　to　rheumatism；　and　Joan　had　had　to　expend　no　small　amount　of　muscular　effort　in　assisting　him；　so　that　the　episode　which　should　have　been　symbolical　ended　by　leaving　them　both　red　and　breathless。

He　referred　to　the　matter　again　the　same　evening　in　the　library　while　Lady　William　slept　peacefully　in　the　blue　drawing…room；　but　as　it　appeared　necessary　that　the　compact　should　be　sealed　by　a　knightly　kiss　Joan　had　failed　to　ratify　it。

She　blamed　herself　on　her　way　home。　　The　poor　old　gentleman　could　easily　have　been　kept　in　his　place。　　The　suffering　of　an　occasional　harmless　caress　would　have　purchased　for　her　power　and　opportunity。　Had　it　not　been　somewhat　selfish　of　her？　　Should　she　write　to　him　see　him　again？

She　knew　that　she　never　would。　　It　was　something　apart　from　her　reason。　　It　would　not　even　listen　to　her。　　It　bade　or　forbade　as　if　one　were　a　child　without　any　right　to　a　will　of　one's　own。　　It　was　decidedly　exasperating。

There　were　others。　　There　were　the　editors　who　frankly　told　her　that　the　business　of　a　newspaper　was　to　write　what　its　customers　wanted　to　read；　and　that　the　public；　so　far　as　they　could　judge；　was　just　about　fed　up　with　plans　for　New　Jerusalems　at　their　expense。　　And　the　editors　who　were　prepared　to　take　up　any　number　of　reforms；　insisting　only　that　they　should　be　new　and　original　and　promise　popularity。

And　then　she　met　Greyson。

It　was　at　a　lunch　given　by　Mrs。　Denton。　　Greyson　was　a　bachelor　and　lived　with　an　unmarried　sister；　a　few　years　older　than　himself。　　He　was　editor　and　part　proprietor　of　an　evening　paper。　　It　had　ideals　and　was；　in　consequence；　regarded　by　the　general　public　with　suspicion；　but　by　reason　of　sincerity　and　braininess　was　rapidly　becoming　a　power。　　He　was　a　shy；　reserved　man　with　an　aristocratic　head　set　upon　stooping　shoulders。　　The　face　was　that　of　a　dreamer；　but　about　the　mouth　there　was　suggestion　of　the　fighter。　　Joan　felt　at　her　ease　with　him　in　spite　of　the　air　of　detachment　that　seemed　part　of　his　character。　　Mrs。　Denton　had　paired　them　off　together；　and；　during　the　lunch；　one　of　themJoan　could　not　remember　which　had　introduced　the　subject　of　reincarnation。

Greyson　was　unable　to　accept　the　theory　because　of　the　fact　that；　in　old　age；　the　mind　in　common　with　the　body　is　subject　to　decay。

〃Perhaps　by　the　time　I　am　fortyor　let　us　say　fifty；〃　he　argued；　〃I　shall　be　a　bright；　intelligent　being。　　If　I　die　then；　well　and　good。　　I　select　a　likely　baby　and　go　straight　on。　　But　suppose　I　hang　about　till　eighty　and　die　a　childish　old　gentleman　with　a　mind　all　gone　to　seed。　　What　am　I　going　to　do　then？　　I　shall　have　to　begin　all　over　again：　　perhaps　worse　off　than　I　was　before。　　That's　not　going　to　help　us　much。〃

Joan　explained　it　to　him：　　that　old　age　might　be　likened　to　an　illness。　　A　genius　lies　upon　a　bed　of　sickness　and　babbles　childish　nonsense。　　But　with　returning　life　he　regains　his　power；　goes　on　increasing　it。　　The　mind；　the　soul；　has　not　decayed。　　It　is　the　lines　of　communication　that　old　age　has　destroyed。

〃But　surely　you　don't　believe　it？〃　he　demanded。

〃Why　not？〃　laughed　Joan。　　〃All　things　are　possible。　　It　was　the　possession　of　a　hand　that　transformed　monkeys　into　men。　　We　used　to　take　things　up；　you　know；　and　look　at　them；　and　wonder　and　wonder　and　wonder；　till　at　last　there　was　born　a　thought　and　the　world　became　visible。　　It　is　curiosity　that　will　lead　us　to　the　next　great　discovery。　　We　must　take　things　up；　and　think　and　think　and　think　till　one　day　there　will　come　knowledge；　and　we　shall　see　the　universe。〃

Joan　always　avoided　getting　excited　when　she　thought　of　it。

〃I　love　to　make　you　excited；〃　Flossie　had　once　confessed　to　her　in　the　old　student　days。　　〃You　look　so　ridiculously　young　and　you　are　so　pleased　with　yourself；　laying　down　the　law。〃

She　did　not　know　she　had　given　way　to　it。　　He　was　leaning　back　in　his　chair；　looking　at　her；　and　the　tired　look　she　had　noticed　in　his　eyes；　when　she　had　been　introduced　to　him　in　the　drawing…room；　had　gone　out　of　them。

During　the　coffee；　Mrs。　Denton　beckoned　him　to　come　to　her；　and　Miss　Greyson　crossed　over　and　took　his　vacant　chair。　　She　had　been　sitting　opposite　to　them。

〃I've　been　hearing　so　much　about　you；〃　she　said。　　〃I　can't　help　thinking　that　you　ought　to　suit　my　brother's　paper。　　He　has　all　your　ideas。　　Have　you　anything　that　you　could　send　him？〃

Joan　considered　a　moment。

〃Nothing　very　startling；〃　she　answered。　　〃I　was　thinking　of　a　series　of　articles　on　the　old　London　Churchestouching　upon　the　people　connected　with　them　and　the　things　they　stood　for。　　I've　just　finished　the　first　one。〃

〃It　ought　to　be　the　very　thing；〃　answered　Miss　Greyson。　　She　was　a　thin；　faded　woman　with　a　soft；　plaintive　voice。　　〃It　will　enable　him　to　judge　your　style。　　He's　particular　about　that。　　Though　I'm　confident　he'll　like　it；〃　she　hastened　to　add。　　〃Address　it　to　me；　will　you。　　I　assist　him　as　much　as　I　can。〃

Joan　added　a　few　finishing　touches　that　evening；　and　posted　it；　and　a　day　or　two　later　received　a　note　asking　her　to　call　at　the　office。

〃My　sister　is　enthusiastic　about　your　article　on　Chelsea　Church　and　insists　on　my　taking　the　whole　series；〃　Greyson　informed　her。　　〃She　says　you　have　the　Stevensonian　touch。〃

Joan　flushed　with　pleasure。

〃And　you；〃　she　asked；　〃did　you　think　it　had　the　Stevensonian　touch？〃

〃No；〃　he　answered；　〃it　seemed　to　me　to　have　more　of　your　touch。〃

〃What's　that　like？〃　she　demanded。

〃They　couldn't　suppress　you；〃　he　explained。　　〃Sir　Thomas　More　with　his　head　under　his　arm；　bloody　old　Bluebeard；　grim　Queen　Bess；　snarling　old　Swift；　Pope；　Addison；　Carlylethe　whole　grisly　crowd　of　them！　　I　could　see　you　holding　your　own　against　them　all；　explaining　things　to　them；　getting　excited。〃　　He　laughed。

His　sister　joined　them；　coming　in　from　the　next　room。　　She　had　a　proposal　to　make。　　It　was　that　Joan　should　take　over　the　weekly　letter　from　〃Clorinda。〃　　It　was　supposed　to　give　the　views　of　a　perhaps　unusuallysane　and　thoughtful　woman　upon　the　questions　of　the　day。　　Miss　Greyson　had　hitherto　conducted　it　herself；　but　was　wishful　as　she　explained　to　be　relieved　of　it；　so　that　she　might　have　more　time　for　home　affairs。　　It　would　necessitate　Joan's　frequent　attendance　at　the　office；　for　there　would　be　letters　from　the　public　to　be　answered；　and　points　to　be　discussed　with　her　brother。　　She　was　standing　behind　his　chair　with　her　hands　upon　his　head。　　There　was　something　strangely　motherly　about　her　whole　attitude。

Greyson　was　surprised；　for　the　Letter　had　been　her　own　conception；　and　had　grown　into　a　popular　feature。　　But　she　was　evidently　in　earnest；　and　Joan　accepted　willingly。　　〃Clorinda〃　grew　younger；　more　self…assertive；　on　the　whole　more　human。　　But　still　so　eminently　〃sane〃　and　reasonable。

〃We　must　not　forget　that　she　is　quite　a　respectable　lady；　connectedaccording　to　her　own　accountwith　the　higher　political　circles；〃　Joan's　editor　would　insist；　with　a　laugh。

Miss　Greyson；　working　in　the　adjoining　room；　would　raise　her　head　and　listen。　　She　loved　to　hear　him　laugh。

〃It's　absurd；〃　Flossie　told　her　one　mo