confidence-第18章

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d　overtaken　him　in　his　wanderingsletters　as　cordial；　to　all　appearance；　if　not　as　voluminous；　as　the　punctual　missives　of　an　earlier　time。　Bernard　made　a　point　of　satisfying　himself　that　they　were　as　cordial；　he　weighed　them　in　the　scales　of　impartial　suspicion。　　It　seemed　to　him　on　the　whole　that　there　was　no　relaxation　of　Gordon's　epistolary　tone。　　If　he　wrote　less　often　than　he　used　to　do；　that　was　a　thing　that　very　commonly　happened　as　men　grew　older。　The　closest　intimacies；　moreover；　had　phases　and　seasons；　intermissions　and　revivals；　and　even　if　his　friend　had；　in　fact；　averted　his　countenance　from　him；　this　was　simply　the　accomplishment　of　a　periodical　revolution　which　would　bring　them　in　due　order　face　to　face　again。　　Bernard　made　a　point；　himself；　of　writing　tolerably　often　and　writing　always　in　the　friendliest　tone。　He　made　it　a　matter　of　consciencehe　liked　to　feel　that　he　was　treating　Gordon　generously；　and　not　demanding　an　eye　for　an　eye。　The　letter　he　found　in　Paris　was　so　short　that　I　may　give　it　entire。

〃My　dear　Bernard　（it　ran）；　I　must　write　to　you　before　I　write　to　any　one　else；　though　unfortunately　you　are　so　far　away　that　you　can't　be　the　first　to　congratulate　me。　Try　and　not　be　the　last；　however。　　I　am　going　to　be　married　as　soon　as　possible。　　You　know　the　young　lady；　so　you　can　appreciate　the　situation。　　Do　you　remember　little　Blanche　Evers；　whom　we　used　to　see　three　years　ago　at　Baden…Baden？　Of　course　you　remember　her；　for　I　know　you　used　often　to　talk　with　her。　You　will　be　rather　surprised；　perhaps；　at　my　having　selected　her　as　the　partner　of　a　life…time；　but　we　manage　these　matters　according　to　our　lights。　　I　am　very　much　in　love　with　her；　and　I　hold　that　an　excellent　reason。　　I　have　been　ready　any　time　this　year　or　two　to　fall　in　love　with　some　simple；　trusting；　child…like　nature。　　I　find　this　in　perfection　in　this　charming　young　girl。　　I　find　her　so　natural　and　fresh。　I　remember　telling　you　once　that　I　did　n't　wish　to　be　fascinated　that　I　wanted　to　estimate　scientifically　the　woman　I　should　marry。　I　have　altogether　got　over　that；　and　I　don't　know　how　I　ever　came　to　talk　such　nonsense。　　I　am　fascinated　now；　and　I　assure　you　I　like　it！　　The　best　of　it　is　that　I　find　it　does　n't　in　the　least　prevent　my　estimating　Blanche。　I　judge　her　very　fairlyI　see　just　what　she　is。　　She　's　simple　that　's　what　I　want；　she　's　tenderthat　's　what　I　long　for。　You　will　remember　how　pretty　she　is；　I　need　n't　remind　you　of　that。　She　was　much　younger　then；　and　she　has　greatly　developed　and　improved　in　these　two　or　three　years。　　But　she　will　always　be　young　and　innocentI　don't　want　her　to　improve　too　much。　She　came　back　to　America　with　her　mother　the　winter　after　we　met　her　at　Baden；　but　I　never　saw　her　again　till　three　months　ago。　Then　I　saw　her　with　new　eyes；　and　I　wondered　I　could　have　been　so　blind。　　But　I　was　n't　ready　for　her　till　then；　and　what　makes　me　so　happy　now　is　to　know　that　I　have　come　to　my　present　way　of　feeling　by　experience。　　That　gives　me　confidence　you　see　I　am　a　reasoner　still。　　But　I　am　under　the　charm；　for　all　my　reason。　　We　are　to　be　married　in　a　month　try　and　come　back　to　the　wedding。　　Blanche　sends　you　a　message；　which　I　will　give　you　verbatim。　　'Tell　him　I　am　not　such　a　silly　little　chatterbox　as　I　used　to　be　at　Baden。　I　am　a　great　deal　wiser；　I　am　almost　as　clever　as　Angela　Vivian。'　She　has　an　idea　you　thought　Miss　Vivian　very　cleverbut　it　is　not　true　that　she　is　equally　so。　　I　am　very　happy；　come　home　and　see。〃

Bernard　went　home；　but　he　was　not　able　to　reach　the　United　States　in　time　for　Gordon's　wedding；　which　took　place　at　midsummer。　Bernard；　arriving　late　in　the　autumn；　found　his　friend　a　married　man　of　some　months'　standing；　and　was　able　to　judge；　according　to　his　invitation；　whether　he　appeared　happy。　The　first　effect　of　the　letter　I　have　just　quoted　had　been　an　immense　surprise；　the　second　had　been　a　series　of　reflections　which　were　quite　the　negative　of　surprise；　and　these　operations　of　Bernard's　mind　had　finally　merged　themselves　in　a　simple　sentiment　of　jollity。　　He　was　delighted　that　Gordon　should　be　married；　he　felt　jovial　about　it；　he　was　almost　indifferent　to　the　question　of　whom　he　had　chosen。　　Certainly；　at　first；　the　choice　of　Blanche　Evers　seemed　highly　incongruous；　it　was　difficult　to　imagine　a　young　woman　less　shaped　to　minister　to　Gordon's　strenuous　needs　than　the　light…hearted　and　empty…headed　little　flirt　whose　inconsequent　prattle　had　remained　for　Bernard　one　of　the　least　importunate　memories　of　a　charming　time。　Blanche　Evers　was　a　pretty　little　goosethe　prettiest　of　little　geese；　perhaps；　and　doubtless　the　most　amiable；　but　she　was　not　a　companion　for　a　peculiarly　serious　man；　who　would　like　his　wife　to　share　his　view　of　human　responsibilities。　What　a　singular　selectionwhat　a　queer　infatuation！　Bernard　had　no　sooner　committed　himself　to　this　line　of　criticism　than　he　stopped　short；　with　the　sudden　consciousness　of　error　carried　almost　to　the　point　of　naivetae。　He　exclaimed　that　Blanche　Evers　was　exactly　the　sort　of　girl　that　men　of　Gordon　Wright's　stamp　always　ended　by　falling　in　love　with；　and　that　poor　Gordon　knew　very　much　better　what　he　was　about　in　this　case　than　he　had　done　in　trying　to　solve　the　deep　problem　of　a　comfortable　life　with　Angela　Vivian。　This　was　what　your　strong；　solid；　sensible　fellows　always　came　to；　they　paid；　in　this　particular；　a　larger　tribute　to　pure　fancy　than　the　people　who　were　supposed　habitually　to　cultivate　that　muse。　Blanche　Evers　was　what　the　French　call　an　article　of　fantasy；　and　Gordon　had　taken　a　pleasure　in　finding　her　deliciously　useless。　He　cultivated　utility　in　other　ways；　and　it　pleased　and　flattered　him　to　feel　that　he　could　afford；　morally　speaking；　to　have　a　kittenish　wife。　　He　had　within　himself　a　fund　of　common　sense　to　draw　upon；　so　that　to　espouse　a　paragon　of　wisdom　would　be　but　to　carry　water　to　the　fountain。　He　could　easily　make　up　for　the　deficiencies　of　a　wife　who　was　a　little　silly；　and　if　she　charmed　and　amused　him；　he　could　treat　himself　to　the　luxury　of　these　sensations　for　themselves。　He　was　not　in　the　least　afraid　of　being　ruined　by　it；　and　if　Blanche's　birdlike　chatter　and　turns　of　the　head　had　made　a　fool　of　him；　he　knew　it　perfectly　well；　and　simply　took　his　stand　upon　his　rights。　　Every　man　has　a　right　to　a　little　flower…bed；　and　life　is　not　all　mere　kitchen…gardening。　Bernard　rapidly　extemporized　this　rough　explanation　of　the　surprise　his　friend　had　offered　him；　and　he　found　it　all…sufficient　for　his　immediate　needs。　　He　wrote　Blanche　a　charming　note；　to　which　she　replied　with　a　great　deal　of　spirit　and　grace。　Her　little　letter　was　very　prettily　turned；　and　Bernard；　reading　it　over　two　or　three　times；　said　to　himself　that；　to　do　her　justice；　she　might　very　well　have　polished　her　intellect　a　trifle　during　these　two　or　three　years。　As　she　was　older；　she　could　hardly　help　being　wiser。　It　even　occurred　to　Bernard　that　she　might　have　profited　by　the　sort　of　experience　that　is　known　as　the　discipline　of　suffering。　What　had　become　of　Captain　Lovelock　and　that　tender　passion　which　was　apparently　none　the　less　genuine　for　having　been　expressed　in　the　slang　of　a　humorous　period？　　Had　they　been　permanently　separated　by　judicious　guardians；　and　had　she　been　obliged　to　obliterate　his　image　from　her　lightly…beating　little　heart？　Bernard　had　felt　sure　at　Baden　that；　beneath　her　contemptuous　airs　and　that　impertinent　consciousness　of　the　difficulties　of　conquest　by　which　a　pretty　American　girl　attests　her　allegiance　to　a　civilization　in　which　young　women　occupy　the　highest　placehe　had　felt　sure　that　Blanche　had　a　high　appreciation　of　her　handsome　Englishman；　and　that　if　Lovelock　should　continue　to　relish　her　charms；　he　might　count　upon　the　advantages　of　reciprocity。　　But　it　occurred　to　Bernard　that　Captain　Lovelock　had　perhaps　been　faithless；　that；　at　least；　the　discourtesy　of　chance　and　the　inhumanity　of　an　elder　brother　might　have　kept　him　an　eternal　prisoner　at　the　Hotel　de　Hollande　（where；　for　all　Bernard　knew　to　the　contrary；　he　had　been　obliged　to　work　out　his　destiny　in　the　arduous　character　of　a　polyglot　waiter）；　so　that　the　poor　young　girl；　casting　backward　glances　along　the　path　of　Mrs。　Vivian's　retreat；　and　failing　to　detect　the　onward　rush　of　a　rescuing　cavalier；　had　perforce　believed　herself　forsaken；　and　had　been　obliged　to　summon　philosophy　to　her　aid。　　It　was　very　possible　that　her　philosophic　studies　had　taught　her　the　art　of　reflection；　and　that；　as　she　would　have　said　herself；　she　was　tremendously　toned　down。　　Once；　at　Baden；　when　Gordon　Wright　happened　to　take　upon　himself　to　remark　that　little　Miss　Evers　was　bored　by　her　English　gallant；　Bernard　had　ventured　to　observe；　in　petto；　that　Gordon　knew　nothing　about　it。　　But　all　this　was　of　no　consequence　now；　and　Bernard　steered　further　and　further　away　from　the　liability　to　detect　fallacies　in　his　friend。　Gordon　had　engaged　himself　to　marry；　and　our　critical　hero　had　not　a　grain　of　fault　to　find　with　this　resolution。　It　was　a　capital　thing；　it　was　just　what　he　wanted；　it　would　do　him　a　world　of　good。　　Bernard　rejoiced　with　him　sincerely；　and　regretted　extremely　that　a　series　of　solemn　engagements　to　pay　visits　in　England　should　prevent　his　being　present　at　the　nuptials。

They　were　well　over；　as　I　have　said；　when　he　reached　New　York。　The　honeymoon　had　waned；　and　the　business　of　married　life　had　begun。　Bernard；　at　the　end；　had　sailed　from　England　rather　abruptly。　A　friend　who　had　a　remarkably　good　cabin　on　one　of　the　steamers　was　obliged　by　a　sudden　detention　to　give　it　up；　and　on　his　offering　it　to　Longueville；　the　latter　availed　himself　gratefully　of　this　opportunity　of　being　a　little　less　discomposed　than　usual　by　the　Atlantic　billows。　He　therefore　embarked　at　two　days'　notice；　a　fortnight　earlier　than　he　had　intended　and　than　he　had　written　to　Gordon　to　expect　him。　　Gordon；　of　course；　had　written　that　he　was　to　seek　no　hospitality　but　that　which　Blanche　was　now　preparedthey　had　a　charming　houseso　graciously　to　dispense；　but　Bernard；　nevertheless；　leaving　the　ship　early　in　the　morning；　had　betaken　himself　to　an　hotel。　　He　wished　not　to　anticipate　his　welcome；　and　he　determined　to　report　himself　to　Gordon　first　and　to　come　back　with　his　luggage　later　in　the　day。　　After　purifying　himself　of　his　sea…stains；　he　left　his　hotel　and　walked　up　the　Fifth　Avenue　with　all　a　newly…landed　voyager's　enjoyment　of　terrestrial　locomotion。　It　was　a　charming　autumn　day；　there　was　a　golden　haze　in　the　air；　he　supposed　it　was　the　Indian　summer。　　The　broad　sidewalk　of　the　Fifth　Avenue　was　scattered　over　with　dry　leavescrimson　and　orange　and　amber。　He　tossed　them　with　his　stick　as　he　passed；　they　rustled　and　murmured　with　the　motion；　and　it　reminded　him　of　the　way　he　used　to　kick　them　in　front　of　him　over　these　same　pavements　in　his　riotous　infancy。　It　was　a　pleasure；　after　many　wanderings；　to　find　himself　in　his　native　land　again；　and　Bernard　Longueville；　as　he　went；　paid　his　compliments　to　his　mother…city。　The　brightness　and　gayety　of　the　place　seemed　a　greeting　to　a　returning　son；　and　he　felt　a　throb　of　affection　for　the　freshest；　the　youngest；　the　easiest　and　most　good…natured　of　great　capitals。　On　presenting　himself　at　Gordon's　door；　Bernard　was　told　that　the　master　of　the　house　was　not