confidence-第21章

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　rumor　had　reached　Gordon's　ears；　but　he　neverthelessvery　naturallyinstantly　made　up　his　mind　to　leave　the　house。　　He　lost　no　time　in　saying　to　Gordon　that　he　had　suddenly　determined　to　go　to　California；　and　that　he　was　sure　he　must　be　glad　to　get　rid　of　him。　　Gordon　expressed　no　surprise　and　no　regret。　He　simply　laid　his　hand　on　his　shoulder　and　said；　very　quietly；　looking　at　him　in　the　eyes

〃Very　well；　the　pleasantest　things　must　come　to　an　end。〃

It　was　not　till　an　hour　afterwards　that　Bernard　said　to　himself　that　his　friend's　manner　of　receiving　the　announcement　of　his　departure　had　been　rather　odd。　　He　had　neither　said　a　word　about　his　staying　longer　nor　urged　him　to　come　back　again；　and　there　had　been　（it　now　seemed　to　Bernard）　an　audible　undertone　of　relief　in　the　single　sentence　with　which　he　assented　to　his　visitor's　withdrawal。　　Could　it　be　possible　that　poor　Gordon　was　jealous　of　him；　that　he　had　heard　this　loathsome　gossip；　or　that　his　own　observation　had　given　him　an　alarm？　He　had　certainly　never　betrayed　the　smallest　sense　of　injury；　but　it　was　to　be　remembered　that　even　if　he　were　uneasy；　Gordon　was　quite　capable；　with　his　characteristic　habit　of　weighing　everything；　his　own　honor　included；　in　scrupulously　adjusted　scales；　of　denying　himself　the　luxury　of　active　suspicion。　He　would　never　have　let　a　half　suspicion　make　a　difference　in　his　conduct；　and　he　would　not　have　dissimulated；　he　would　simply　have　resisted　belief。　　His　hospitality　had　been　without　a　flaw；　and　if　he　had　really　been　wishing　Bernard　out　of　his　house；　he　had　behaved　with　admirable　self…control。　Bernard；　however；　followed　this　train　of　thought　a　very　short　distance。　　It　was　odious　to　him　to　believe　that　he　could　have　appeared　to　Gordon；　however　guiltlessly；　to　have　invaded　even　in　imagination　the　mystic　line　of　the　marital　monopoly；　not　to　say　that；　moreover；　if　one　came　to　that；　he　really　cared　about　as　much　for　poor　little　Blanche　as　for　the　weather…cock　on　the　nearest　steeple。　He　simply　hurried　his　preparations　for　departure；　and　he　told　Blanche　that　he　should　have　to　bid　her　farewell　on　the　following　day。　He　had　found　her　in　the　drawing…room；　waiting　for　dinner。　She　was　expecting　company　to　dine；　and　Gordon　had　not　yet　come　down。

She　was　sitting　in　the　vague　glow　of　the　fire…light；　in　a　wonderful　blue　dress；　with　two　little　blue　feet　crossed　on　the　rug　and　pointed　at　the　hearth。　　She　received　Bernard's　announcement　with　small　satisfaction；　and　expended　a　great　deal　of　familiar　ridicule　on　his　project　of　a　journey　to　California。　　Then；　suddenly　getting　up　and　looking　at　him　a　moment

〃I　know　why　you　are　going；〃　she　said。

〃I　am　glad　to　hear　my　explanations　have　not　been　lost。〃

〃Your　explanations　are　all　nonsense。　　You　are　going　for　another　reason。　〃

〃Well；〃　said　Bernard；　〃if　you　insist　upon　it；　it　's　because　you　are　too　sharp　with　me。〃

〃It　's　because　of　me。　　So　much　as　that　is　true。〃　　Bernard　wondered　what　she　was　going　to　sayif　she　were　going　to　be　silly　enough　to　allude　to　the　most　impudent　of　fictions；　then；　as　she　stood　opening　and　closing　her　blue　fan　and　smiling　at　him　in　the　fire…light；　he　felt　that　she　was　silly　enough　for　anything。　　〃It　's　because　of　all　the　talkit　's　because　of　Gordon。　You　need　n't　be　afraid　of　Gordon。〃

〃Afraid　of　him？　　I　don't　know　what　you　mean；〃　said　Bernard；　gravely。

Blanche　gave　a　little　laugh。

〃You　have　discovered　that　people　are　talking　about　usabout　you　and　me。　I　must　say　I　wonder　you　care。　　I　don't　care；　and　if　it　's　because　of　Gordon；　you　might　as　well　know　that　he　does　n't　care。　　If　he　does　n't　care；　I　don't　see　why　I　should；　and　if　I　don't；　I　don't　see　why　you　should！〃

〃You　pay　too　much　attention　to　such　insipid　drivel　in　even　mentioning　it。〃

〃Well；　if　I　have　the　credit　of　saying　what　I　should　n'tto　you　or　to　any　one　elseI　don't　see　why　I　should　n't　have　the　advantage　too。　Gordon　does　n't　carehe　does　n't　care　what　I　do　or　say。　　He　does　n't　care　a　pin　for　me！〃

She　spoke　in　her　usual　rattling；　rambling　voice；　and　brought　out　this　declaration　with　a　curious　absence　of　resentment。

〃You　talk　about　advantage；〃　said　Bernard。　　〃I　don't　see　what　advantage　it　is　to　you　to　say　that。〃

〃I　want　toI　mustI　will！　　That　's　the　advantage！〃　　This　came　out　with　a　sudden　sharpness　of　tone；　she　spoke　more　excitedly。　〃He　does　n't　care　a　button　for　me；　and　he　never　did！　I　don't　know　what　he　married　me　for。　　He　cares　for　something　else　he　thinks　of　something　else。　　I　don't　know　what　it　isI　suppose　it　's　chemistry！〃

These　words　gave　Bernard　a　certain　shock；　but　he　had　his　intelligence　sufficiently　in　hand　to　contradict　them　with　energy。

〃You　labor　under　a　monstrous　delusion；〃　he　exclaimed。　〃Your　husband　thinks　you　fascinating。〃

This　epithet；　pronounced　with　a　fine　distinctness；　was　ringing　in　the　air　when　the　door　opened　and　Gordon　came　in。　He　looked　for　a　moment　from　Bernard　to　his　wife；　and　then；　approaching　the　latter；　he　said；　softly

〃Do　you　know　that　he　leaves　us　to…morrow？〃






CHAPTER　XVIII

Bernard　left　then　and　went　to　California；　but　when　he　arrived　there　he　asked　himself　why　he　had　come；　and　was　unable　to　mention　any　other　reason　than　that　he　had　announced　it。　　He　began　to　feel　restless　again；　and　to　drift　back　to　that　chronic　chagrin　which　had　accompanied　him　through　his　long　journey　in　the　East。　He　succeeded；　however；　in　keeping　these　unreasonable　feelings　at　bay　for　some　time；　and　he　strove　to　occupy　himself；　to　take　an　interest　in　Californian　problems。　　Bernard；　however；　was　neither　an　economist　nor　a　cattle…fancier；　and　he　found　that；　as　the　phrase　is；　there　was　not　a　great　deal　to　take　hold　of。　He　wandered　about；　admired　the　climate　and　the　big　peaches；　thought　a　while　of　going　to　Japan；　and　ended　by　going　to　Mexico。　In　this　way　he　passed　several　months；　and　justified；　in　the　eyes　of　other　people　at　least；　his　long　journey　across　the　Continent。　　At　last　he　made　it　again；　in　the　opposite　sense。　He　went　back　to　New　York；　where　the　summer　had　already　begun；　and　here　he　invented　a　solution　for　the　difficulty　presented　by　life　to　a　culpably　unoccupied　and　ill…regulated　man。　The　solution　was　not　in　the　least　original；　and　I　am　almost　ashamed　to　mention　so　stale　and　conventional　a　device。　Bernard　simply　hit　upon　the　plan　of　returning　to　Europe。　Such　as　it　was；　however；　he　carried　it　out　with　an　audacity　worthy　of　a　better　cause；　and　was　sensibly　happier　since　he　had　made　up　his　mind　to　it。　　Gordon　Wright　and　his　wife　were　out　of　town；　but　Bernard　went　into　the　country；　as　boldly　as　you　please；　to　inform　them　of　his　little　project　and　take　a　long　leave　of　them。　He　had　made　his　arrangements　to　sail　immediately；　and；　as　at　such　short　notice　it　was　impossible　to　find　good　quarters　on　one　of　the　English　vessels；　he　had　engaged　a　berth　on　a　French　steamer；　which　would　convey　him　to　Havre。　On　going　down　to　Gordon's　house　in　the　country；　he　was　conscious　of　a　good　deal　of　eagerness　to　know　what　had　become　of　that　latent　irritation　of　which　Blanche　had　given　him　a　specimen。　Apparently　it　had　quite　subsided；　Blanche　was　wreathed　in　smiles；　she　was　living　in　a　bower　of　roses。　　Bernard；　indeed；　had　no　opportunity　for　investigating　her　state　of　mind；　for　he　found　several　people　in　the　house；　and　Blanche；　who　had　an　exalted　standard　of　the　duties　of　a　hostess；　was　occupied　in　making　life　agreeable　to　her　guests；　most　of　whom　were　gentlemen。　She　had　in　this　way　that　great　remedy　for　dissatisfaction　which　Bernard　lackedsomething　interesting　to　do。　　Bernard　felt　a　good　deal　of　genuine　sadness　in　taking　leave　of　Gordon；　to　whom　he　contrived　to　feel　even　more　kindly　than　in　earlier　days。　He　had　quite　forgotten　that　Gordon　was　jealous　of　him　which　he　was　not；　as　Bernard　said。　　Certainly；　Gordon　showed　nothing　of　it　now；　and　nothing　could　have　been　more　friendly　than　their　parting。　　Gordon；　also；　for　a　man　who　was　never　boisterous；　seemed　very　contented。　　He　was　fond　of　exercising　hospitality；　and　he　confessed　to　Bernard　that　he　was　just　now　in　the　humor　for　having　his　house　full　of　people。　　Fortune　continued　to　gratify　this　generous　taste；　for　just　as　Bernard　was　coming　away　another　guest　made　his　appearance。　　The　new…comer　was　none　other　than　the　Honourable　Augustus　Lovelock；　who　had　just　arrived　in　New　York；　and　who；　as　he　added；　had　long　desired　to　visit　the　United　States。　　Bernard　merely　witnessed　his　arrival；　and　was　struck　with　the　fact　that　as　he　presented　himself　it　seemed　quite　a　surpriseBlanche　really　stopped　chattering。






CHAPTER　XIX

I　have　called　it　a　stale　expedient　on　Bernard　Longueville's　part　to　〃go　to　Europe〃　again；　like　the　most　commonplace　American；　and　it　is　certain　that；　as　our　young　man　stood　and　looked　out　of　the　window　of　his　inn　at　Havre；　an　hour　after　his　arrival　at　that　sea…port；　his　adventure　did　not　strike　him　as　having　any　great　freshness。　He　had　no　plans　nor　intentions；　he　had　not　even　any　very　definite　desires。　He　had　felt　the　impulse　to　come　back　to　Europe；　and　he　had　obeyed　it；　but　now　that　he　had　arrived；　his　impulse　seemed　to　have　little　more　to　say　to　him。　　He　perceived　it；　indeedmentallyin　the　attitude　of　a　small　street…boy　playing　upon　his　nose　with　that　vulgar　gesture　which　is　supposed　to　represent　the　elation　of　successful　fraud。　There　was　a　large　blank　wall　before　his　window；　painted　a　dirty　yellow　and　much　discolored　by　the　weather；　a　broad　patch　of　summer　sunlight　rested　upon　it　and　brought　out　the　full　vulgarity　of　its　complexion。　Bernard　stared　a　while　at　this　blank　wall；　which　struck　him　in　some　degree　as　a　symbol　of　his　own　present　moral　prospect。　Then　suddenly　he　turned　away；　with　the　declaration　that；　whatever　truth　there　might　be　in　symbolism；　he；　at　any　rate；　had　not　come　to　Europe　to　spend　the　precious　remnant　of　his　youth　in　a　malodorous　Norman　sea…port。　The　weather　was　very　hot；　and　neither　the　hotel　nor　the　town　at　large　appeared　to　form　an　attractive　sejour　for　persons　of　an　irritable　nostril。　To　go　to　Paris；　however；　was　hardly　more　attractive　than　to　remain　at　Havre；　for　Bernard　had　a　lively　vision　of　the　heated　bitumen　and　the　glaring　frontages　of　the　French　capital。　　But　if　a　Norman　town　was　close　and　dull；　the　Norman　country　was　notoriously　fresh　and　entertaining；　and　the　next　morning　Bernard　got　into　a　caleche；　with　his　luggage；　and　bade　its　proprietor　drive　him　along　the　coast。　Once　he　had　begun　to　rumble　through　this　charming　landscape；　he　was　in　much　better　humor　with　his　situation；　the　air　was　freshened　by　a　breeze　from　the　sea；　the　blooming　country；　without　walls　or　fences；　lay　open　to　the　traveller's　eye；　the　grain…fields　and　copses　were　shimmering　in　the　summer　wind；　the　pink…faced　cottages　peeped　through　the　ripening　orchard…boughs；　and　the　gray　towers　of　the　old　churches　were　silvered　by　the　morning…light　of　France。

At　the　end　of　some　three　hours；　Bernard　arrived　at　a　little　watering…place　which　lay　close　upon　the　shore；　in　the　embrace　of　a　pair　of　white…armed　cliffs。　　It　had　a　quaint　and　primitive　aspect　and　a　natural　picturesqueness　which　commended　it　to　Bernard's　taste。　　There　was　evidently　a　great　deal　of　nature　about　it；　and　at　this　moment；　nature；　embodied　in　the　clear；　gay　sunshine；　in　the　blue　and　quiet　sea；　in　the　daisied　grass　of　the　high…shouldered　downs；　had　an　air　of　inviting　the　intelligent　o