confidence-第30章

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f　nothing；　and　still　Gordon　was　looking　at　him。

〃I　am　so　glad　to　see　you！〃　he　exclaimed；　for　want　of　something　better；　and　he　blushedhe　felt　foolish；　he　felt　falseas　he　said　it。

〃My　dear　Bernard！〃　　Gordon　murmured　gratefully；　as　they　walked　on。　〃It　's　very　good　of　you　to　say　that；　I　am　very　glad　we　are　together　again。　I　want　to　say　something；〃　he　added；　in　a　moment；　〃I　hope　you　won't　mind　it〃　Bernard　gave　a　little　laugh　at　his　companion's　scruples；　and　Gordon　continued。　　〃To　tell　the　truth；　it　has　sometimes　seemed　to　me　that　we　were　not　so　good　friends　as　we　used　to　be　that　something　had　come　between　usI　don't　know　what；　I　don't　know　why。　I　don't　know　what　to　call　it　but　a　sort　of　lowering　of　the　temperature。　I　don't　know　whether　you　have　felt　it；　or　whether　it　has　been　simply　a　fancy　of　mine。　　Whatever　it　may　have　been；　it　's　all　over；　is　n't　it？　We　are　too　old　friendstoo　good　friendsnot　to　stick　together。　Of　course；　the　rubs　of　life　may　occasionally　loosen　the　cohesion；　but　it　is　very　good　to　feel　that；　with　a　little　direct　contact；　it　may　easily　be　re…established。　Is　n't　that　so？　　But　we　should　n't　reason　about　these　things；　one　feels　them；　and　that　's　enough。〃

Gordon　spoke　in　his　clear；　cheerful　voice；　and　Bernard　listened　intently。　It　seemed　to　him　there　was　an　undertone　of　pain　and　effort　in　his　companion's　speech；　it　was　that　of　an　unhappy　man　trying　to　be　wise　and　make　the　best　of　things。

〃Ah；　the　rubs　of　lifethe　rubs　of　life！〃　　Bernard　repeated　vaguely。

〃We　must　n't　mind　them；〃　said　Gordon；　with　a　conscientious　laugh。　〃We　must　toughen　our　hides；　or；　at　the　worst；　we　must　plaster　up　our　bruises。　　But　why　should　we　choose　this　particular　place　and　hour　for　talking　of　the　pains　of　life？〃　he　went　on。　〃Are　we　not　in　the　midst　of　its　pleasures？　　I　mean；　henceforth；　to　cultivate　its　pleasures。　　What　are　yours；　just　now；　Bernard？　Is　n't　it　supposed　that　in　Paris　one　must　amuse　one's　self？　How　have　you　been　amusing　yourself？〃

〃I　have　been　leading　a　very　quiet　life；〃　said　Bernard。

〃I　notice　that　's　what　people　always　say　when　they　have　been　particularly　dissipated。　　What　have　you　done？　　Whom　have　you　seen　that　one　knows？〃

Bernard　was　silent　a　moment。

〃I　have　seen　some　old　friends　of　yours；〃　he　said　at　last。　〃I　have　seen　Mrs。　Vivian　and　her　daughter。〃

〃Ah！〃　　Gordon　made　this　exclamation；　and　then　stopped　short。　Bernard　looked　at　him；　but　Gordon　was　looking　away；　his　eyes　had　caught　some　one　in　the　crowd。　　Bernard　followed　the　direction　they　had　taken；　and　then　Gordon　went　on：　〃Talk　of　the　devilexcuse　the　adage！　　Are　not　those　the　ladies　in　question？〃

Mrs。　Vivian　and　her　daughter　were；　in　fact；　seated　among　a　great　many　other　quiet　people；　in　a　couple　of　hired　chairs；　at　the　edge　of　the　great　avenue。　They　were　turned　toward　our　two　friends；　and　when　Bernard　distinguished　them；　in　the　well…dressed　multitude；　they　were　looking　straight　at　Gordon　Wright。

〃They　see　you！〃　said　Bernard。

〃You　say　that　as　if　I　wished　to　run　away；〃　Gordon　answered。　〃I　don't　want　to　run　away；　on　the　contrary；　I　want　to　speak　to　them。〃

〃That　's　easily　done；〃　said　Bernard；　and　they　advanced　to　the　two　ladies。

Mrs。　Vivian　and　her　daughter　rose　from　their　chairs　as　they　came；　they　had　evidently　rapidly　exchanged　observations；　and　had　decided　that　it　would　facilitate　their　interview　with　Gordon　Wright　to　receive　him　standing。　　He　made　his　way　to　them　through　the　crowd；　blushing　deeply；　as　he　always　did　when　excited；　then　he　stood　there　bare…headed；　shaking　hands　with　each　of　them；　with　a　fixed　smile；　and　with　nothing；　apparently；　to　say。　　Bernard　watched　Angela's　face；　she　was　giving　his　companion　a　beautiful　smile。　　Mrs。　Vivian　was　delicately　cordial。

〃I　was　sure　it　was　you；〃　said　Gordon　at　last。　　〃We　were　just　talking　of　you。〃

〃Did　Mr。　Longueville　deny　it　was　we？〃　asked　Mrs。　Vivian；　archly；　〃after　we　had　supposed　that　we　had　made　an　impression　on　him！〃

〃I　knew　you　were　in　Pariswe　were　in　the　act　of　talking　of　you；〃　Gordon　went　on。　　〃I　am　very　glad　to　see　you。〃

Bernard　had　shaken　hands　with　Angela；　looking　at　her　intently；　and　in　her　eyes；　as　his　own　met　them；　it　seemed　to　him　that　there　was　a　gleam　of　mockery。　　At　whom　was　she　mocking　at　Gordon；　or　at　himself？　　Bernard　was　uncomfortable　enough　not　to　care　to　be　mocked；　but　he　felt　even　more　sorry　that　Gordon　should　be。

〃We　also　knew　you　were　comingMr。　Longueville　had　told　us；〃　said　Mrs。　Vivian；　〃and　we　have　been　expecting　the　pleasure　of　seeing　Blanche。　　Dear　little　Blanche！〃

〃Dear　little　Blanche　will　immediately　come　and　see　you；〃　Gordon　replied。

〃Immediately；　we　hope；〃　said　Mrs。　Vivian。　　〃We　shall　be　so　very　glad。〃　Bernard　perceived　that　she　wished　to　say　something　soothing　and　sympathetic　to　poor　Gordon；　having　it；　as　he　supposed；　on　her　conscience　that；　after　having　once　encouraged　him　to　regard　himself　as　indispensable　（in　the　capacity　of　son…in…law）　to　her　happiness；　she　should　now　present　to　him　the　spectacle　of　a　felicity　which　had　established　itself　without　his　aid。　　〃We　were　so　very　much　interested　in　your　marriage；〃　she　went　on。　〃We　thought　it　soso　delightful。〃

Gordon　fixed　his　eyes　on　the　ground　for　a　moment。

〃I　owe　it　partly　to　you；〃　he　answered。　　〃You　had　done　so　much　for　Blanche。　You　had　so　cultivated　her　mind　and　polished　her　manners　that　her　attractions　were　doubled；　and　I　fell　an　easy　victim　to　them。〃

He　uttered　these　words　with　an　exaggerated　solemnity；　the　result　of　which　was　to　produce；　for　a　moment；　an　almost　embarrassing　silence。　Bernard　was　rapidly　becoming　more　and　more　impatient　of　his　own　embarrassment；　and　now　he　exclaimed；　in　a　loud　and　jovial　voice

〃Blanche　makes　victims　by　the　dozen！　　I　was　a　victim　last　winter；　we　are　all　victims！〃

〃Dear　little　Blanche！〃　　Mrs。　Vivian　murmured　again。

Angela　had　said　nothing；　she　had　simply　stood　there；　making　no　attempt　to　address　herself　to　Gordon；　and　yet　with　no　affectation　of　reserve　or　of　indifference。　　Now　she　seemed　to　feel　the　impulse　to　speak　to　him。

〃When　Blanche　comes　to　see　us；　you　must　be　sure　to　come　with　her；〃　she　said；　with　a　friendly　smile。

Gordon　looked　at　her；　but　he　said　nothing。

〃We　were　so　sorry　to　hear　she　is　out　of　health；〃　Angela　went　on。

Still　Gordon　was　silent；　with　his　eyes　fixed　on　her　expressive　and　charming　face。

〃It　is　not　serious；〃　he　murmured　at　last。

〃She　used　to　be　so　wellso　bright；〃　said　Angela；　who　also　appeared　to　have　the　desire　to　say　something　kind　and　comfortable。

Gordon　made　no　response　to　this；　he　only　looked　at　her。

〃I　hope　you　are　well；　Miss　Vivian；〃　he　broke　out　at　last。

〃Very　well；　thank　you。〃

〃Do　you　live　in　Paris？〃

〃We　have　pitched　our　tent　here　for　the　present。〃

〃Do　you　like　it？〃

〃I　find　it　no　worse　than　other　places。〃

Gordon　appeared　to　desire　to　talk　with　her；　but　he　could　think　of　nothing　to　say。　　Talking　with　her　was　a　pretext　for　looking　at　her；　and　Bernard；　who　thought　she　had　never　been　so　handsome　as　at　that　particular　moment；　smiling　at　her　troubled　ex…lover；　could　easily　conceive　that　his　friend　should　desire　to　prolong　this　privilege。

〃Have　you　been　sitting　here　long？〃　　Gordon　asked；　thinking　of　something　at　last。

〃Half　an　hour。　　We　came　out　to　walk；　and　my　mother　felt　tired。　It　is　time　we　should　turn　homeward；〃　Angela　added。

〃Yes；　I　am　tired；　my　daughter。　　We　must　take　a　voiture；　if　Mr。　Longueville　will　be　so　good　as　to　find　us　one；〃　said　Mrs。　Vivian。

Bernard；　professing　great　alacrity；　looked　about　him；　but　he　still　lingered　near　his　companions。　　Gordon　had　thought　of　something　else。　〃Have　you　been　to　Baden　again？〃　　Bernard　heard　him　ask。　　But　at　this　moment　Bernard　espied　at　a　distance　an　empty　hackney…carriage　crawling　up　the　avenue；　and　he　was　obliged　to　go　and　signal　to　it。　When　he　came　back；　followed　by　the　vehicle；　the　two　ladies；　accompanied　by　Gordon；　had　come　to　the　edge　of　the　pavement。　They　shook　hands　with　Gordon　before　getting　into　the　cab；　and　Mrs。　Vivian　exclaimed

〃Be　sure　you　give　our　love　to　your　dear　wife！〃

Then　the　two　ladies　settled　themselves　and　smiled　their　adieux；　and　the　little　victoria　rumbled　away　at　an　easy　pace；　while　Bernard　stood　with　Gordon；　looking　after　it。　　They　watched　it　a　moment；　and　then　Gordon　turned　to　his　companion。　　He　looked　at　Bernard　for　some　moments　intently；　with　a　singular　expression。

〃It　is　strange　for　me　to　see　her！〃　he　said；　presently。

〃I　hope　it　is　not　altogether　disagreeable；〃　Bernard　answered　smiling。

〃She　is　delightfully　handsome；〃　Gordon　went　on。

〃She　is　a　beautiful　woman。〃

〃And　the　strange　thing　is　that　she　strikes　me　now　so　differently；〃　Gordon　continued。　　〃I　used　to　think　her　so　mysteriousso　ambiguous。　She　seems　to　be　now　so　simple。〃

〃Ah；〃　said　Bernard；　laughing；　〃that's　an　improvement！〃

〃So　simple　and　so　good！〃　　Gordon　exclaimed。

Bernard　laid　his　hand　on　his　companion's　shoulder；　shaking　his　head　slowly。

〃You　must　not　think　too　much　about　that；〃　he　said。

〃So　simpleso　goodso　charming！〃　　Gordon　repeated。

〃Ah；　my　dear　Gordon！〃　　Bernard　murmured。

But　still　Gordon　continued。

〃So　intelligent；　so　reasonable；　so　sensible。〃

〃Have　you　discovered　all　that　in　two　minutes'　talk？〃

〃Yes；　in　two　minutes'　talk。　　I　should　n't　hesitate　about　her　now！〃

〃It　's　better　you　should　n't　say　that；〃　said　Bernard。

〃Why　should　n't　I　say　it？　　It　seems　to　me　it　's　my　duty　to　say　it。〃

〃Noyour　duty　lies　elsewhere；〃　said　Bernard。　　〃There　are　two　reasons。　One　is　that　you　have　married　another　woman。〃

〃What　difference　does　that　make？〃　cried　Gordon。

Bernard　made　no　attempt　to　answer　this　inquiry；　he　simply　went　on

〃The　other　isthe　other　is〃

But　here　he　paused。

〃What　is　the　other？〃　　Gordon　asked。

〃That　I　am　engaged　to　marry　Miss　Vivian。〃

And　with　this　Bernard　took　his　hand　off　Gordon's　shoulder。

Gordon　stood　staring。

〃To　marry　Miss　Vivian？〃

Now　that　Bernard　had　heard　himself　say　it；　audibly；　distinctly；　loudly；　the　spell　of　his　apprehension　seemed　broken；　and　he　went　on　bravely。

〃We　are　to　be　married　very　shortly。　　It　has　all　come　about　within　a　few　weeks。　　It　will　seem　to　you　very　strangeperhaps　you　won't　like　it。　That　's　why　I　have　hesitated　to　tell　you。〃

Gordon　turned　pale；　it　was　the　first　time　Bernard　had　ever　seen　him　do　so；　evidently　he　did　not　like　it。　　He　stood　staring　and　frowning。

〃Why；　I　thoughtI　thought；〃　he　began　at　last〃I　thought　that　you　disliked　her！〃

〃I　supposed　so；　too；〃　said　Bernard。　　〃But　I　have　got　over　that。〃

Gordon　turned　away；　looking　up　the　great　avenue　into　the　crowd。　Then　turning　back；　he　said

〃I　am　very　much　surprised。〃

〃And　you　are　not　pleased！〃

Gordon　fixed　his　eyes　on　the　ground　a　moment。

〃I　congratulate　you　on　your　engagement；〃　he　said　at　last；　looking　up　with　a　face　that　seemed　to　Bernard　hard　and　unnatural。

〃It　is　very　good　of　you　to　say　that；　but　of　course　you　can't　like　it！　I　was　sure　you　would　n't　like　it。　　But　what　could　I　do？　　I　fell　in　love　with　her；　and　I　could　n't　run　away　simply　to　spare　you　a　surprise。　My　dear　Gordon；〃　Bernard　added；　〃you　will　get　used　to　it。〃

〃Very　likely；〃　said　Gordon；　dryly。　　〃But　you　must　give　me　time。〃

〃As　long　as　you　like！〃

Gordon　stood　for　a　moment　again　staring　down　at　the　ground。

〃Very　well；　then；　I　will　take　my　time；〃　he　said。　　〃Good…bye！〃

An