confidence-第34章

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　to　me。　Has　it　been　going　on　long？　　Ah；　of　course；　it　has　been　going　on！　Did　n't　it　begin　at　Baden；　and　did　n't　I　see　it　there？　Do　you　mind　my　alluding　to　that？　　At　Baden　we　were　all　so　mixed　up　that　one　could　n't　tell　who　was　attentive　to　whom！　　But　Bernard　has　been　very　faithful；　my　dear；　I　can　assure　you　of　that。　When　he　was　in　America　he　would　n't　look　at　another　woman。　I　know　something　about　that！　　He　stayed　three　months　in　my　house　and　he　never　spoke　to　me。　　Now　I　know　why；　Mr。　Bernard；　but　you　might　have　told　me　at　the　time。　　The　reason　was　certainly　good　enough。　　I　always　want　to　know　why；　you　know。　Why　Gordon　never　told　me；　for　instance；　that　's　what　I　want　to　know！〃

Blanche　refused　to　sit　down　again；　she　declared　that　she　was　so　agitated　by　this　charming　news　that　she　could　not　be　quiet；　and　that　she　must　presently　take　her　departure。　　Meanwhile　she　congratulated　each　of　her　friends　half　a　dozen　times；　she　kissed　Mrs。　Vivian　again；　she　almost　kissed　Bernard；　she　inquired　about　details；　she　longed　to　hear　all　about　Angela's　〃things。〃　Of　course　they　would　stop　for　the　wedding；　but　meantime　she　must　be　very　discreet；　she　must　not　intrude　too　much。　Captain　Lovelock　addressed　to　Angela　a　few　fragmentary；　but　well…intentioned　sentences；　pulling　his　beard　and　fixing　his　eyes　on　the　door…knoban　implement　which　presently　turned　in　his　manly　fist；　as　he　opened　the　door　for　his　companion　to　withdraw。　Blanche　went　away　in　a　flutter　of　ejaculations　and　protestations　which　left　our　three　friends　in　Mrs。　Vivian's　little　drawing…room　standing　looking　at　each　other　as　the　door　closed　behind　her。

〃It　certainly　would　have　been　better　taste　in　him　to　tell　her；〃　said　Bernard；　frowning；　〃and　not　let　other　people　see　how　little　communication　there　is　between　them。　　It　has　mortified　her。〃

〃Poor　Mr。　Wright　had　his　reasons；〃　Mrs。　Vivian　suggested；　and　then　she　ventured　to　explain：　　〃He　still　cares　for　Angela；　and　it　was　painful　to　him　to　talk　about　her　marrying　some　one　else。〃

This　had　been　Bernard's　own　reflection；　and　it　was　no　more　agreeable　as　Mrs。　Vivian　presented　it；　though　Angela　herself　seemed　indifferent　to　itseemed；　indeed；　not　to　hear　it；　as　if　she　were　thinking　of　something　else。

〃We　must　simply　marry　as　soon　as　possible；　to…morrow；　if　necessary；〃　said　Bernard；　with　some　causticity。　　〃That　's　the　best　thing　we　can　do　for　every　one。　　When　once　Angela　is　married；　Gordon　will　stop　thinking　of　her。　He　will　never　permit　his　imagination　to　hover　about　a　married　woman；　I　am　very　sure　of　that。　　He　does　n't　approve　of　that　sort　of　thing；　and　he　has　the　same　law　for　himself　as　for　other　people。〃

〃It　does　n't　matter；〃　said　Angela；　simply。

〃How　do　you　mean；　my　daughter；　it　does　n't　matter？〃

〃I　don't　feel　obliged　to　feel　so　sorry　for　him　now。〃

〃Now？　　Pray；　what　has　happened？　　I　am　more　sorry　than　ever；　since　I　have　heard　poor　Blanche's　dreadful　tone　about　him。〃

The　girl　was　silent　a　moment；　then　she　shook　her　head；　lightly。

〃Her　toneher　tone？　　Dearest　mother；　don't　you　see？　She　is　intensely　in　love　with　him！〃






CHAPTER　XXVIII

This　observation　struck　Bernard　as　extremely　ingenious　and　worthy　of　his　mistress's　fine　intelligence；　he　greeted　it　with　enthusiasm；　and　thought　of　it　for　the　next　twelve　hours。　The　more　he　thought　of　it　the　more　felicitous　it　seemed　to　him；　and　he　went　to　Mrs。　Vivian's　the　next　day　almost　for　the　express　purpose　of　saying　to　Angela　that；　decidedly；　she　was　right。　He　was　admitted　by　his　old　friend；　the　little　femme　de　chambre；　who　had　long　since　bestowed　upon　him；　definitively；　her　confidence；　and　as　in　the　ante…chamber　he　heard　the　voice　of　a　gentleman　raised　and　talking　with　some　emphasis；　come　to　him　from　the　salon；　he　paused　a　moment；　looking　at　her　with　an　interrogative　eye。

〃Yes；〃　said　Mrs。　Vivian's　attendant；　〃I　must　tell　Monsieur　frankly　that　another　gentleman　is　there。　　Moreover；　what　does　it　matter？　Monsieur　would　perceive　it　for　himself！〃

〃Has　he　been　here　long？〃　asked　Bernard。

〃A　quarter　of　an　hour。　　It　probably　does　n't　seem　long　to　the　gentleman！〃

〃Is　he　alone　with　Mademoiselle？〃

〃He　asked　for　Mademoiselle　only。　　I　introduced　him　into　the　salon；　and　Mademoiselle；　after　conversing　a　little　while　with　Madame；　consented　to　receive　him。　　They　have　been　alone　together；　as　I　have　told　Monsieur；　since　about　three　o'clock。　Madame　is　in　her　own　apartment。　　The　position　of　Monsieur；〃　added　this　discriminating　woman；　〃certainly　justifies　him　in　entering　the　salon。〃

Bernard　was　quite　of　this　opinion；　and　in　a　moment　more　he　had　crossed　the　threshold　of　the　little　drawing…room　and　closed　the　door　behind　him。

Angela　sat　there　on　a　sofa；　leaning　back　with　her　hands　clasped　in　her　lap　and　her　eyes　fixed　upon　Gordon　Wright；　who　stood　squarely　before　her；　as　if　he　had　been　making　her　a　resolute　speech。　Her　face　wore　a　look　of　distress；　almost　of　alarm；　she　kept　her　place；　but　her　eyes　gave　Bernard　a　mute　welcome。　Gordon　turned　and　looked　at　him　slowly　from　head　to　foot。　Bernard　remembered；　with　a　good　deal　of　vividness；　the　last　look　his　friend　had　given　him　in　the　Champs　Elysees　the　day　before；　and　he　saw　with　some　satisfaction　that　this　was　not　exactly　a　repetition　of　that　expression　of　cold　horror。　　It　was　a　question；　however；　whether　the　horror　were　changed　for　the　better。　Poor　Gordon　looked　intensely　sad　and　grievously　wronged。　The　keen　resentment　had　faded　from　his　face；　but　an　immense　reproach　was　therea　heavy；　helpless；　appealing　reproach。　Bernard　saw　that　he　had　not　a　scene　of　violence　to　dread　and　yet；　when　he　perceived　what　was　coming；　he　would　almost　have　preferred　violence。　　Gordon　did　not　offer　him　his　hand；　and　before　Bernard　had　had　time　to　say　anything；　began　to　speak　again；　as　if　he　were　going　on　with　what　he　had　been　saying　to　Angela。

〃You　have　done　me　a　great　wrongyou　have　done　me　a　cruel　wrong！　I　have　been　telling　it　to　Miss　Vivian；　I　came　on　purpose　to　tell　her。　I　can't　really　tell　her；　I　can't　tell　her　the　details；　it　's　too　painful！　But　you　know　what　I　mean！　　I　could　n't　stand　it　any　longer。　　I　thought　of　going　awaybut　I　could　n't　do　that。　　I　must　come　and　say　what　I　feel。　I　can't　bear　it　now。〃

This　outbreak　of　a　passionate　sense　of　injury　in　a　man　habitually　so　undemonstrative；　so　little　disposed　to　call　attention　to　himself；　had　in　it　something　at　once　of　the　touching　and　the　terrible。　Bernard；　for　an　instant；　felt　almost　bewildered；　he　asked　himself　whether　he　had　not；　after　all；　been　a　monster　of　duplicity。　He　was　guilty　of　the　weakness　of　taking　refuge　in　what　is　called；　I　believe；　in　legal　phrase；　a　side…issue。

〃Don't　say　all　this　before　Angela！〃　he　exclaimed；　with　a　kind　of　artificial　energy。　　〃You　know　she　is　not　in　the　least　at　fault；　and　that　it　can　only　give　her　pain。　　The　thing　is　between　ourselves。〃

Angela　was　sitting　there；　looking　up　at　both　the　men。　　〃I　like　to　hear　it；〃　she　said。

〃You　have　a　singular　taste！〃　　Bernard　declared。

〃I　know　it　's　between　ourselves；〃　cried　Gordon；　〃and　that　Miss　Vivian　is　not　at　fault。　　She　is　only　too　lovely；　too　wise；　too　good！　　It　is　you　and　I　that　are　at　faulthorribly　at　fault！　You　see　I　admit　it；　and　you　don't。　I　never　dreamed　that　I　should　live　to　say　such　things　as　this　to　you；　but　I　never　dreamed　you　would　do　what　you　have　done！　　It　's　horrible；　most　horrible；　that　such　a　difference　as　this　should　come　between　two　men　who　believed　themselvesor　whom　I　believed；　at　least　the　best　friends　in　the　world。　　For　it　is　a　differenceit　's　a　great　gulf；　and　nothing　will　ever　fill　it　up。　　I　must　say　so；　I　can't　help　it。　　You　know　I　don't　express　myself　easily；　so；　if　I　break　out　this　way；　you　may　know　what　I　feel。　I　know　it　is　a　pain　to　Miss　Vivian；　and　I　beg　her　to　forgive　me。　She　has　so　much　to　forgive　that　she　can　forgive　that；　too。　I　can't　pretend　to　accept　it；　I　can't　sit　down　and　let　it　pass。　And　then；　it　is　n't　only　my　feelings；　it　's　the　right；　it　's　the　justice。　　I　must　say　to　her　that　you　have　no　right　to　marry　her；　and　beg　of　her　to　listen　to　me　and　let　you　go。〃

〃My　dear　Gordon；　are　you　crazy？〃　　Bernard　demanded；　with　an　energy　which；　this　time　at　least；　was　sufficiently　real。

〃Very　likely　I　am　crazy。　　I　am　crazy　with　disappointment　and　the　bitterness　of　what　I　have　lost。　　Add　to　that　the　wretchedness　of　what　I　have　found！〃

〃Ah；　don't　say　that；　Mr。　Wright；〃　Angela　begged。

He　stood　for　an　instant　looking　at　her；　but　not　heeding　her　words。　〃Will　you　listen　to　me　again？　　Will　you　forget　the　wrong　I　did　you？　my　stupidity　and　folly　and　unworthiness？　　Will　you　blot　out　the　past　and　let　me　begin　again。　　I　see　you　as　clearly　now　as　the　light　of　that　window。　Will　you　give　me　another　chance？〃

Angela　turned　away　her　eyes　and　covered　her　face　with　her　hands。　〃You　do　pain　me！〃　she　murmured。

〃You　go　too　far；〃　said　Bernard。　　〃To　what　position　does　your　extraordinary　proposal　relegate　your　wife？〃

Gordon　turned　his　pleading　eyes　on　his　old　friend　without　a　ray　of　concession；　but　for　a　moment　he　hesitated。　　〃Don't　speak　to　me　of　my　wife。　　I　have　no　wife。〃

〃Ah；　poor　girl！〃　said　Angela；　springing　up　from　the　sofa。

〃I　am　perfectly　serious；〃　Gordon　went　on；　addressing　himself　again　to　her。　〃No；　after　all；　I　am　not　crazy；　I　see　only　too　clearlyI　see　what　should　be；　when　people　see　that；　you　call　them　crazy。　　Bernard　has　no　right　he　must　give　you　up。　　If　you　really　care　for　him；　you　should　help　him。　He　is　in　a　very　false　position；　you　should　n't　wish　to　see　him　in　such　a　position。　　I　can't　explain　to　youif　it　were　even　for　my　own　sake。　But　Bernard　must　have　told　you；　it　is　not　possible　that　he　has　not　told　you？〃

〃I　have　told　Angela　everything；　Gordon；〃　said　Bernard。

〃I　don't　know　what　you　mean　by　your　having　done　me　a　wrong！〃　the　girl　exclaimed。

〃If　he　has　told　you；　thenI　may　say　it！　　In　listening　to　him；　in　believing　him。〃

〃But　you　did　n't　believe　me；〃　Bernard　exclaimed；　〃since　you　immediately　went　and　offered　yourself　to　Miss　Vivian！〃

〃I　believed　you　all　the　same！　　When　did　I　ever　not　believe　you？〃

〃The　last　words　I　ever　heard　from　Mr。　Wright　were　words　of　the　deepest　kindness；〃　said　Angela。

She　spoke　with　such　a　serious；　tender　grace；　that　Gordon　seemed　stirred　to　his　depths　again。

〃Ah；　give　me　another　chance！〃　he　moaned。

The　poor　girl　could　not　help　her　tone；　and　it　was　in　the　same　tone　that　she　continued

〃If　you　think　so　well　of　me；　try　and　be　reasonable。〃

Gordon　looked　at　her；　slowly　shaking　his　head。

〃Reasonablereasonable？　　Yes；　you　have　a　right　to　say　that；　for　you　are　full　of　reason。　　But　so　am　I。　What　I　ask　is　within　reasonable　limits。　　〃

〃Granting　your　happiness　were　lost；〃　said　Bernard〃I　say　that　only　for　the　argumentis　that　a　ground　for　your　wishing　to　deprive　me　of　mine？〃

〃It　is　not　yoursit　is　mine；　that　you　have　taken！　　You　put　me　off　my　guard；　and　then　you　took　it！　　Yours　is　elsewhere；　and　you　are　welcome　to　it！〃

〃Ah；〃　murmured　Bernard；　giving　him　a　long　look　and　turning　away；　〃it　is　well　for　you　that　I　am　willing　still　to　regard　you　as　my　best　friend！〃

Gordon　went　on；　more　passionately；　to　Angela。

〃He　put　me　off　my　guardI　can't　call　it　anything　else。　I　know　I　gave　him　a　great　chanceI　encouraged　him；　urged　him；　tempted　him。　　But　when　once　he　had　spoken；　he　should　have　stood　to　it。　　He　should　n't　have　had　two　opinionson