an inland voyage-第7章

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he　air：　　what　is　this　but　the　most　imposing　　piece　in　nature's　repertory？　　Heine　wished　to　lie　like　Merlin　under　　the　oaks　of　Broceliande。　　I　should　not　be　satisfied　with　one　tree；　　but　if　the　wood　grew　together　like　a　banyan　grove；　I　would　be　　buried　under　the　tap…root　of　the　whole；　my　parts　should　circulate　　from　oak　to　oak；　and　my　consciousness　should　be　diffused　abroad　in　　all　the　forest；　and　give　a　common　heart　to　that　assembly　of　green　　spires；　so　that　it　also　might　rejoice　in　its　own　loveliness　and　　dignity。　　I　think　I　feel　a　thousand　squirrels　leaping　from　bough　to　　bough　in　my　vast　mausoleum；　and　the　birds　and　the　winds　merrily　　coursing　over　its　uneven；　leafy　surface。

Alas！　the　forest　of　Mormal　is　only　a　little　bit　of　a　wood；　and　it　　was　but　for　a　little　way　that　we　skirted　by　its　boundaries。　　And　　the　rest　of　the　time　the　rain　kept　coming　in　squirts　and　the　wind　　in　squalls；　until　one's　heart　grew　weary　of　such　fitful；　scolding　　weather。　　It　was　odd　how　the　showers　began　when　we　had　to　carry　the　　boats　over　a　lock；　and　must　expose　our　legs。　　They　always　did。　　　This　is　a　sort　of　thing　that　readily　begets　a　personal　feeling　　against　nature。　　There　seems　no　reason　why　the　shower　should　not　　come　five　minutes　before　or　five　minutes　after；　unless　you　suppose　　an　intention　to　affront　you。　　The　CIGARETTE　had　a　mackintosh　which　　put　him　more　or　less　above　these　contrarieties。　　But　I　had　to　bear　　the　brunt　uncovered。　　I　began　to　remember　that　nature　was　a　woman。　　　My　companion；　in　a　rosier　temper；　listened　with　great　satisfaction　　to　my　Jeremiads；　and　ironically　concurred。　　He　instanced；　as　a　　cognate　matter；　the　action　of　the　tides；　'which；'　said　he；　'was　　altogether　designed　for　the　confusion　of　canoeists；　except　in　so　　far　as　it　was　calculated　to　minister　to　a　barren　vanity　on　the　part　　of　the　moon。'

At　the　last　lock；　some　little　way　out　of　Landrecies；　I　refused　to　　go　any　farther；　and　sat　in　a　drift　of　rain　by　the　side　of　the　bank；　　to　have　a　reviving　pipe。　　A　vivacious　old　man；　whom　I　take　to　have　　been　the　devil；　drew　near　and　questioned　me　about　our　journey。　　In　　the　fulness　of　my　heart；　I　laid　bare　our　plans　before　him。　　He　said　　it　was　the　silliest　enterprise　that　ever　he　heard　of。　　Why；　did　I　　not　know；　he　asked　me；　that　it　was　nothing　but　locks；　locks；　locks；　　the　whole　way？　not　to　mention　that；　at　this　season　of　the　year；　we　　should　find　the　Oise　quite　dry？　　'Get　into　a　train；　my　little　young　　man；'　said　he；　I　and　go　you　away　home　to　your　parents。'　　I　was　so　　astounded　at　the　man's　malice；　that　I　could　only　stare　at　him　in　　silence。　　A　tree　would　never　have　spoken　to　me　like　this。　　At　last　　I　got　out　with　some　words。　　We　had　come　from　Antwerp　already；　I　　told　him；　which　was　a　good　long　way；　and　we　should　do　the　rest　in　　spite　of　him。　　Yes；　I　said；　if　there　were　no　other　reason；　I　would　　do　it　now；　just　because　he　had　dared　to　say　we　could　not。　　The　　pleasant　old　gentleman　looked　at　me　sneeringly；　made　an　allusion　to　　my　canoe；　and　marched　of；　waggling　his　head。

I　was　still　inwardly　fuming；　when　up　came　a　pair　of　young　fellows；　　who　imagined　I　was　the　CIGARETTE'S　servant；　on　a　comparison；　I　　suppose；　of　my　bare　jersey　with　the　other's　mackintosh；　and　asked　　me　many　questions　about　my　place　and　my　master's　character。　　I　said　　he　was　a　good　enough　fellow；　but　had　this　absurd　voyage　on　the　　head。　　'O　no；　no；'　said　one；　'you　must　not　say　that；　it　is　not　　absurd；　it　is　very　courageous　of　him。'　　I　believe　these　were　a　　couple　of　angels　sent　to　give　me　heart　again。　　It　was　truly　　fortifying　to　reproduce　all　the　old　man's　insinuations；　as　if　they　　were　original　to　me　in　my　character　of　a　malcontent　footman；　and　　have　them　brushed　away　like　so　many　flies　by　these　admirable　young　　men。

When　I　recounted　this　affair　to　the　CIGARETTE；　'They　must　have　a　　curious　idea　of　how　English　servants　behave；'　says　he　dryly；　'for　　you　treated　me　like　a　brute　beast　at　the　lock。'

I　was　a　good　deal　mortified；　but　my　temper　had　suffered；　it　is　a　　fact。



AT　LANDRECIES



AT　Landrecies　the　rain　still　fell　and　the　wind　still　blew；　but　we　　found　a　double…bedded　room　with　plenty　of　furniture；　real　water…　jugs　with　real　water　in　them；　and　dinner：　　a　real　dinner；　not　　innocent　of　real　wine。　　After　having　been　a　pedlar　for　one　night；　　and　a　butt　for　the　elements　during　the　whole　of　the　next　day；　these　　comfortable　circumstances　fell　on　my　heart　like　sunshine。　　There　　was　an　English　fruiterer　at　dinner；　travelling　with　a　Belgian　　fruiterer；　in　the　evening　at　the　CAFE；　we　watched　our　compatriot　　drop　a　good　deal　of　money　at　corks；　and　I　don't　know　why；　but　this　　pleased　us。

It　turned　out　we　were　to　see　more　of　Landrecies　than　we　expected；　　for　the　weather　next　day　was　simply　bedlamite。　　It　is　not　the　place　　one　would　have　chosen　for　a　day's　rest；　for　it　consists　almost　　entirely　of　fortifications。　　Within　the　ramparts；　a　few　blocks　of　　houses；　a　long　row　of　barracks；　and　a　church；　figure；　with　what　　countenance　they　may；　as　the　town。　　There　seems　to　be　no　trade；　and　　a　shopkeeper　from　whom　I　bought　a　sixpenny　flint…and…steel；　was　so　　much　affected　that　he　filled　my　pockets　with　spare　flints　into　the　　bargain。　　The　only　public　buildings　that　had　any　interest　for　us　　were　the　hotel　and　the　CAFE。　　But　we　visited　the　church。　　There　　lies　Marshal　Clarke。　　But　as　neither　of　us　had　ever　heard　of　that　　military　hero；　we　bore　the　associations　of　the　spot　with　fortitude。

In　all　garrison　towns；　guard…calls；　and　REVEILLES；　and　such　like；　　make　a　fine　romantic　interlude　in　civic　business。　　Bugles；　and　　drums；　and　fifes；　are　of　themselves　most　excellent　things　in　　nature；　and　when　they　carry　the　mind　to　marching　armies；　and　the　　picturesque　vicissitudes　of　war；　they　stir　up　something　proud　in　　the　heart。　　But　in　a　shadow　of　a　town　like　Landrecies；　with　little　　else　moving；　these　points　of　war　made　a　proportionate　commotion。　　　Indeed；　they　were　the　only　things　to　remember。　　It　was　just　the　　place　to　hear　the　round　going　by　at　night　in　the　darkness；　with　the　　solid　tramp　of　men　marching；　and　the　startling　reverberations　of　　the　drum。　　It　reminded　you；　that　even　this　place　was　a　point　in　the　　great　warfaring　system　of　Europe；　and　might　on　some　future　day　be　　ringed　about　with　cannon　smoke　and　thunder；　and　make　itself　a　name　　among　strong　towns。

The　drum；　at　any　rate；　from　its　martial　voice　and　notable　　physiological　effect；　nay；　even　from　its　cumbrous　and　comical　　shape；　stands　alone　among　the　instruments　of　noise。　　And　if　it　be　　true；　as　I　have　heard　it　said；　that　drums　are　covered　with　asses'　　skin；　what　a　picturesque　irony　is　there　in　that！　　As　if　this　long…　suffering　animal's　hide　had　not　been　sufficiently　belaboured　during　　life；　now　by　Lyonnese　costermongers；　now　by　presumptuous　Hebrew　　prophets；　it　must　be　stripped　from　his　poor　hinder　quarters　after　　death；　stretched　on　a　drum；　and　beaten　night　after　night　round　the　　streets　of　every　garrison　town　in　Europe。　　And　up　the　heights　of　　Alma　and　Spicheren；　and　wherever　death　has　his　red　flag　a…flying；　　and　sounds　his　own　potent　tuck　upon　the　cannons；　there　also　must　　the　drummer…boy；　hurrying　with　white　face　over　fallen　comrades；　　batter　and　bemaul　this　slip　of　skin　from　the　loins　of　peaceable　　donkeys。

Generally　a　man　is　never　more　uselessly　employed　than　when　he　is　at　　this　trick　of　bastinadoing　asses'　hide。　　We　know　what　effect　it　has　　in　life；　and　how　your　dull　ass　will　not　mend　his　pace　with　beating。　　　But　in　this　state　of　mummy　and　melancholy　survival　of　itself；　when　　the　hollow　skin　reverberates　to　the　drummer's　wrist；　and　each　dub…　a…dub　goes　direct　to　a　man's　heart；　and　puts　madness　there；　and　　that　disposition　of　the　pulses　which　we；　in　our　big　way　of　talking；　　nickname　Heroism：…　is　there　not　something　in　the　nature　of　a　　revenge　upon　the　donkey's　persecutors？　　Of　old；　he　might　say；　you　　drubbed　me　up　hill　and　down　dale；　and　I　must　endure；　but　now　that　I　　am　dead；　those　dull　thwacks　that　were　scarcely　audible　in　country　　lanes；　have　become　stirring　music　in　front　of　the　brigade；　and　for　　every　blow　that　you　lay　on　my　old　greatcoat；　you　will　see　a　comrade　　stumble　and　fall。

Not　long　after　the　drums　had　passed　the　CAFE；　the　CIGARETTE　and　the　　ARETHUSA　began　to　grow　sleepy；　and　set　out　for　the　hotel；　which　was　　only　a　door　or　two　away。　　But　although　we　had　been　somewhat　　indifferent　to　Landrecies；　Landrecies　had　not　been　indifferent　to　　us。　　All　day；　we　learned；　people　had　been　running　out　between　the　　squalls　to　visit　our　two　boats。　　Hundreds　of　persons；　so　said　　report；　although　it　fitted　ill　with　our　idea　of　the　town　…　hundreds　　of　persons　had　inspected　them　where　they　lay　in　a　coal…shed。　　We　　were　becoming　lions　in　Landrecies；　who　had　been　only　pedlars　the　　night　before　in　Pont。

And　now；　when　we　left　the　CAFE；　we　were　pursued　and　overtaken　at　　the　hotel　door　by　no　less　a　person　than　the　JUGE　DE　PAIX：　　a　　functionary；　as　far　as　I　can　make　out；　of　the　character　of　a　Scots　　Sheriff…Substitute。　　He　gave　us　his　card　and　invited　us　to　sup　with　　him　on　the　spot；　very　neatly；　very　gracefully；　as　Frenchmen　can　do　　these　things。　　It　was　for　the　credit　of　Landrecies；　said　he；　and　　although　we　knew　very　well　how　little　credit　we　could　do　the　place；　　we　must　have　been　churlish　fellows　to　refuse　an　invitation　so　　politely　introduced。

The　house　of　the　Judge　was　close　by；　it　was　a　well…appointed　　bachelor's　establishment；　with　a　curious　collection　of　old　brass　　warming…pans　upon　the　walls。　　Some　of　these　were　most　elaborately　　carved。　　It　seemed　a　picturesque　idea　for　a　collector。　　You　could　　not　help　thinking　how　many　night…caps　had　wagged　over　these　　warming…pans　in　past　generations；　what　jests　may　have　been　made；　　and　kisses　taken；　while　they　were　in　service；　and　how　often　they　　had　been　uselessly　paraded　in　the　bed　of　death。　　If　they　could　only　　speak；　at　what　absurd；　indecorous；　and　tragical　scenes　had　they　not　　been　present！

The　wine　was　excellent。　　When　we　made　the　Judge　our　compliments　　upon　a　bottle；　'I　do　not　give　it　you　as　my　worst；'　said　he。　　I　　wonder　when　Englishmen　will　learn　these　hospitable　graces。　　They　　are　worth　learning；　they　set　off　life；　and　make　ordinary　moments　　ornamental。

There　were　two　other　Landrecienses　present。　　One　was　the　collector　　of　something　or　other；　I　forget　what；　the　other；　we　were　told；　was　　the　principal　notary　of　the　place。　　So　it　happened　that　we　all　five　　more　or　less　followed　the　law。　　At　this　rate；　the　talk　was　pretty　　certain　to　become　technical。　　The　CIGARETTE　expounded　the　Poor　Laws　　very　magisterially。　　And　a　little　later　I　found　myself　laying　down　　the　Scots　Law　of　Illegitimacy；　of　which　I　am　glad　to　say　I　know　　nothing。　　The　collector　and　the　notary；　who　were　both　married　men；　　accused　the　Judge；　who　was　a　bachelor；　of　having　started　the　　subject。　　He　deprecated　the　charge；　with　a　conscious；　pleased　air；　　just　like　all　the　men　I　have　ever　seen；　be　they　French　or　English。　　　How　strange　that　we　should　all；　in　our　unguarded　moments；　rather　　like　to　be　thought　a　bit　of　a　rogue　with　the　women！

As　the　evening　went　on；　the　wine　grew　more　to　my　taste；　the　spirits　　proved　better　than　the　wine；　the　company　was　genial。　　This　was　the　　highest　water　mark　of　popular　favour　on　the　whole　cruise。　　After　　all；　being　in　a　Judge's　house；　was　there　not　so