april hopes-第25章

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soft；　mysterious　melancholy　pervade　his　letter；　he　hinted　darkly　at
trouble　and　sorrow　of　which　he　could　not　definitely　speak。　　He　had　the
good　sense　to　tear　his　letter　up　when　he　had　finished　it；　and　to　send　a
short；　sprightly　note　instead；　saying　that　if　Mrs。　Frobisher　and　her
sister　came　to　Boston　at　the　end　of　the　month；　as　they　had　spoken　of
doing；　they　must　be　sure　to　let　him　know。　　Upon　the　impulse　given　him　by
this　letter　he　went　more　cheerfully　to　bed；　and　fell　instantly　asleep。

During　the　next　three　weeks　he　bent　himself　faithfully　to　the　schemes
of　work　his　father　had　outlined　for　him。　　He　visited　New　York　and
Philadelphia；　and　looked　into　the　business　and　the　processes　there；　and
he　returned　to　Ponkwasset　Falls　to　report　and　compare　his　facts
intelligently　with　those　which　he　now　examined　in　his　father's
manufactory　for　the　first　time。　　He　began　to　understand　how　his　father；
who　was　a　man　of　intellectual　and　artistic　interests；　should　be　fond　of
the　work。

He　spent　a　good　deal　of　time　with　his　mother；　and　read　to　her；　and　got
upon　better　terms　with　her　than　they　usually　were。　　They　were　very　much
alike；　and　she　objected　to　him　that　he　was　too　light　and　frivolous。　　He
sat　with　his　sisters；　and　took　an　interest　in　their　pursuits。　　He　drove
them　about　with　his　father's　sorrels；　and　resumed　something　of　the　old
relations　with　them　which　the　selfish　years　of　his　college　life　had
broken　off。　　As　yet　he　could　not　speak　of　Campobello　or　of　what　had
happened　there；　and　his　mother　and　sisters；　whatever　they　thought；　made
no　more　allusion　to　it　than　his　father　had　done。

They　mercifully　took　it　for　granted　that　matters　must　have　gone　wrong
there；　or　else　he　would　speak　about　them；　for　there　had　been　some　gay
banter　among　them　concerning　the　objects　of　his　expedition　before　he　left
home。　　They　had　heard　of　the　heroine　of　his　Class　Day；　and　they　had　their
doubts　of　her；　such　as　girls　have　of　their　brothers'　heroines。　　They　were
not　inconsolably　sorry　to　have　her　prove　unkind；　and　their　mother　found
in　the　probable　event　another　proof　of　their　father's　total　want　of
discernment　where　women　were　concerned；　for　the　elder　Mavering　had　come
home　from　Class　Day　about　as　much　smitten　with　this　mysterious　Miss
Pasmer　as　Dan　was。　　She　talked　it　over　indignantly　with　her　daughters；
they　were　glad　of　Dan's　escape；　but　they　were　incensed　with　the　girl　who
could　let　him　escape；　and　they　inculpated　her　in　a　high　degree　of
heartless　flirtation。　　They　knew　how　sweet　Dan　was；　and　they　believed　him
most　sincere　and　good。　　He　had　been　brilliantly　popular　in　college；　and
he　was　as　bright　as　he　could　be。　　What　was　it　she　chose　not　to　like　in
him？　　They　vexed　themselves　with　asking　how　or　in　what　way　she　thought
herself　better。　　They　would　not　have　had　her　love　Dan；　but　they　were　hot
against　her　for　not　loving　him。

They　did　not　question　him；　but　they　tried　in　every　way　to　find　out　how
much　he　was　hurt；　and　they　watched　him　in　every　word　and　look　for　signs
of　change　to　better　or　worse；　with　a　growing　belief　that　he　was　not　very
much　hurt。

It　could　not　be　said　that　in　three　weeks　he　forgot　Alice；　or　had　begun　to
forget　her；　but　he　had　begun　to　reconcile　himself　to　his　fate；　as　people
do　in　their　bereavements　by　death。　　His　consciousness　habituated　itself
to　the　facts　as　something　irretrievable。　　He　no　longer　framed　in　his　mind
situations　in　which　the　past　was　restored。　　He　knew　that　he　should　never
love　again；　but　he　had　moments；　and　more　and　more　of　them；　in　which　he
experienced　that　life　had　objects　besides　love。　　There　were　times　when　he
tingled　with　all　the　anguish　of　the　first　moment　of　his　rejection；　when
he　stopped　in　whatever　he　was　doing；　or　stood　stock…still；　as　a　man　does
when　arrested　by　a　physical　pang；　breathless；　waiting。　　There　were　other
times　when　he　went　about　steeped　in　gloom　so　black　that　all　the　world
darkened　with　it；　and　some　mornings　when　he　woke　he　wished　that　the　night
had　lasted　for　ever；　and　felt　as　if　the　daylight　had　uncovered　his　misery
and　his　shame　to　every　one。　　He　never　knew　when　he　should　have　these
moods；　and　he　thought　he　should　have　them　as　long　as　he　lived。　　He
thought　this　would　be　something　rather　fine。　　He　had　still　other　moods；
in　which　he　saw　an　old　man　with　a　grey　moustache；　like　Colonel　Newcome；
meeting　a　beautiful　white…haired　lady；　the　man　had　never　married；　and　he
had　not　seen　this　lady　for　fifty　years。　　He　bent　over；　and　kissed　her
hand。

〃You　idiot！〃　said　Mavering　to　himself。　　Throughout　he　kept　a　good
appetite。　　In　fact；　after　that　first　morning　in　Portland；　he　had　been
hungry　three　times　a　day　with　perfect　regularity。　　He　lost　the　idea　of
being　sick；　he　had　not　even　a　furred　tongue。　　He　fell　asleep　pretty
early；　and　he　slept　through　the　night　without　a　break。　　He　had　to　laugh　a
great　deal　with　his　mother　and　sisters；　since　he　could　not　very　well　mope
without　expecting　them　to　ask　why；　and　he　did　not　wish　to　say　why。　　But
there　were　some　laughs　which　he　really　enjoyed　with　the　Yankee　foreman　of
the　works；　who　was　a　droll；　after　a　common　American　pattern；　and　said
things　that　were　killingly　funny；　especially　about　women；　of　whom　his
opinions　were　sarcastic。

Dan　Mavering　suffered；　but　not　solidly。　　His　suffering　was　short；　and
crossed　with　many　gleams　of　respite　and　even　joy。　　His　disappointment
made　him　really　unhappy；　but　not　wholly　so；　it　was　a　genuine　sorrow；　but
a　sorrow　to　which　he　began　to　resign　himself　even　in　the　monotony　of
Ponkwasset　Falls；　and　which　admitted　the　thought　of　Mrs。　Frobisher's
sister　by　the　time　business　called　him　to　Boston。




XXIV。

Before　the　end　of　the　first　week　after　Dan　came　back　to　town；　that　which
was　likely　to　happen　whenever　chance　brought　him　and　Alice　together　had
taken　place。

It　was　one　of　the　soft　days　that　fall　in　late　October；　when　the　impending
winter　seems　stayed；　and　the　warm　breath　of　the　land　draws　seaward　and
over　a　thousand　miles　of　Indian　summer。　　The　bloom　came　and　went　in　quick
pulses　over　the　girl's　temples　as　she　sat　with　her　head　thrown　back　in
the　corner　of　the　car；　and　from　moment　to　moment　she　stirred　slightly　as
if　some　stress　of　rapture　made　it　hard　for　her　to　get　her　breath；　a
little　gleam　of　light　fell　from　under　her　fallen　eyelids　into　the　eyes　of
the　young　man　beside　her；　who　leaned　forward　slightly　and　slanted　his
face　upward　to　meet　her　glances。　　They　said　some　words；　now　and　then；
indistinguishable　to　the　others；　in　speaking　they　smiled　slightly。
Sometimes　her　hand　wavered　across　her　lap；　in　both　their　faces　there　was
something　beyond　happinessa　transport；　a　passion；　the　brief　splendour
of　a　supreme　moment。

They　left　the　car　at　the　Arlington　Street　corner　of　the　Public　Garden；
and　followed　the　winding　paths　diagonally　to　the　further　corner　on
Charles　Street。

〃How　stupid　we　were　to　get　into　that　ridiculous　horse…car！〃　she　said。
〃What　in　the　world　possessed　us　to　do　it？〃

〃I　can't　imagine；〃　he　answered。　　〃What　a　waste　of　time　it　was！　　If　we　had
walked；　we　might　have　been　twice　as　long　coming。　　And　now　you're　going　to
send　me　off　so　soon！〃

〃I　don't　send　you；〃　she　murmured。

〃But　you　want　me　to　go。〃

〃Oh　no！　　But　you'd　better。〃

〃I　can't　do　anything　against　your　wish。〃

〃I　wish　itfor　your　own　good。〃

〃Ah；　do　let　me　go　home　with　you；　Alice？〃

〃Don't　ask　it；　or　I　must　say　yes。〃

〃Part　of　the　way；　then？〃

〃No；　not　a　step！　　You　must　take　the　first　car　for　Cambridge。　　What　time
is　it　now？〃

〃You　can　see　by　the　clock　on　the　Providence　Depot。〃

〃But　I　wish　you　to　go　by　your　watch；　now。　　Look！〃

〃Alice！〃　he　cried；　in　pure　rapture。

〃Look！〃

〃It's　a　quarter　of　one。〃

〃And　we've　been　three　hours　together　already！　　Now　you　must　simply　fly。
If　you　came　home　with　me　I　should　be　sure　to　let　you　come　in；　and　if　I
don't　see　mamma　alone　first；　I　shall　die。　　Can't　you　understand？〃

〃No；　but　I　can　do　the　next　best　thing：　I　can　misunderstand。　　You　want　to
be　rid　of　me。〃

〃Shall　you　be　rid　of　me　when　we've　parted？〃　she　asked；　with　an　inner
thrill　of　earnestness　in　her　gay　tone。

〃Alice！〃

〃You　know　I　didn't　mean　it；　Dan。〃

〃Say　it　again。〃

〃What？〃

〃Dan。〃

〃Dan；　love！　　Dan；　dearest！〃

〃Will　that　car　of　yours　never　come？　　I've　promised　myself　not　to　leave
you　till　it　does；　and　if　I　stay　here　any　longer　I　shall　go　wild。　　I　can't
believe　it's　happened。　　Say　it　again！〃

〃Say　what？〃

〃That〃

〃That　I　love　you？　　That　we're　engaged？〃

〃I　don't　believe　it。　　I　can't。〃　　She　looked　impatiently　up　the　street。
〃Oh；　there　comes　your　car！　　Run！　　Stop　it！〃

〃I　don't　run　to　stop　cars。〃　　He　made　a　sign；　which　the　conductor　obeyed；
and　the　car　halted　at　the　further　crossing。

She　seemed　to　have　forgotten　it；　and　made　no　movement　to　dismiss　him。
〃Oh；　doesn't　it　seem　too　good　to　be　standing　here　talking　in　this　way；
and　people　think　it's　about　the　weather；　or　society？〃　　She　set　her　head　a
little　on　one　side；　and　twirled　the　open　parasol　on　her　shoulder。

〃Yes；　it　does。　　Tell　me　it's　true；　love！〃

〃It's　true。　　How　splendid　you　are！〃　　She　said　it　with　an　effect　for　the
world　outside　of　saying　it　was　a　lovely　day。

He　retorted；　with　the　same　apparent　nonchalance；　〃How　beautiful　you　are！
How　good！　　How　divine！〃

The　conductor；　seeing　himself　apparently　forgotten；　gave　his　bell　a
vicious　snap；　and　his　car　jolted　away。

She　started　nervously。　　〃There！　you've　lost　your　car；　Dan。〃

〃Have　I？〃　asked　Mavering；　without　troubling　himself　to　look　after　it。

She　laughed　now；　with　a　faint　suggestion　of　unwillingness　in　her　laugh。
〃What　are　you　going　to　do？〃

〃Walk　home　with　you。〃

〃No；　indeed；　you　know　I　can't　let　you。〃

〃And　are　you　going　to　leave　me　here　alone　on　the　street　corner；　to　be　run
over　by　the　first　bicycle　that　comes　along？〃

〃You　can　sit　down　in　the　Garden；　and　wait　for　the　next　car。〃

〃No；　I　would　rather　go　back　to　the　Art　Museum；　and　make　a　fresh　start。〃

〃To　the　Art　Museum？〃　she　murmured；　tenderly。

〃Yes。　　Wouldn't　you　like　to　see　it　again？〃

〃Again？　　I　should　like　to　pass　my　whole　life　in　it！〃

〃Well；　walk　back　with　me　a　little　way。　　There's　no　hurry　about　the　car。〃

〃Dan！〃　she　said；　in　a　helpless　compliance；　and　they　paced　very；　very
slowly　along　the　Beacon　Street　path　in　the　Garden。　　〃This　is　ridiculous。〃

〃Yes；　but　it's　delightful。〃

〃Yes；　that's　what　I　meant。　　Do　you　suppose　any　one　everever〃

〃Made　love　there　before？〃

〃How　can　you　say　such　things？　　Yes。　　I　always　supposed　it　would　be
somewhere　else。〃
It　was　somewhere　elseonce。〃

〃Oh；　I　meantthe　second　time。〃

〃Then　you　did　think　there　was　going　to　be　a　second　time？〃

〃How　do　I　know？　　I　wished　it。　　Do　you　like　me　to　say　that？〃

〃I　wish　you　would　never　say　anything　else。〃

〃Yes；　there　can't　be　any　harm　in　it　now。　　I　thought　that　if　you　had　ever…
…liked　me；　you　would　still〃

〃So　did　I；　but　I　couldn't　believe　that　you〃

〃Oh；　I　could。〃

〃Alice！〃

〃Don't　you　like　my　confessing　it！　　You　asked　me　to。〃

〃Like　it！〃

〃How　silly　we　are！〃

〃Not　half　so　silly　as　we've　been　for　the　last　two　months。　　I　think　we've
just　come　to　our　senses。　　At　least　I　have。〃

〃Two　months！〃　she　sighed。　　〃Has　it　really　been　so　long　as　that？〃

〃Two　years！　　Two　centuries！　　It　was　back　in　the　Dark　Ag