april hopes-第28章

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acquiescence　of　his　family　beforehand；　and　urged　his　father's　admiration
for　Alice　in　proof；　she　reminded　him　that　his　mother　was　to　be　considered；
and　put　Mr。　Pasmer's　scruples　forward　as　her　own　reason　for　obduracy。　　In
her　husband's　presence　she　attributed　to　him；　with　his　silent　assent；　all
sorts　of　reluctances　and　delicate　compunctions；　she　gave　him　the
importance　which　would　have　been　naturally　a　husband's　due　in　such　an
affair；　and　ingratiated　herself　more　and　more　with　the　young　man。　　She
ignored　Mr。　Pasmer's　withdrawal　when　it　took　place；　after　a　certain　lapse
of　time；　and　as　the　moment　had　come　for　that；　she　began　to　let　herself　go。
She　especially　approved　of　the　idea　of　going　abroad　and　confessed　her
disappointment　with　her　present　experiment　of　America；　where　it　appeared
there　was　no　leisure　class　of　men　sufficiently　large　to　satisfy　the　social
needs　of　Mr。　Pasmer's　nature；　and　she　told　Dan　that　he　might　expect　them
in　Europe　before　long。　　Perhaps　they　might　all　three　meet　him　there。　　At
this　he　betrayed　so　clearly　that　he　now　intended　his　going　to　Europe
merely　as　a　sequel　to　his　marrying　Alice；　while　he　affected　to　fall　in
with　all　Mrs。　Pasmer　said；　that　she　grew　fonder　than　ever　of　him　for　his
ardour　and　his　futile　duplicity。　　If　it　had　been　in　Dan's　mind　to　take
part　in　the　rite；　Mrs。　Pasmer　was　quite　ready　at　this　point　to　embrace　him
with　motherly　tenderness。　　Her　tough　little　heart　was　really　in　her　throat
with　sympathy　when　she　made　an　errand　for　the　photograph　of　an　English
vicarage；　which　they　had　hired　the　summer　of　the　year　before；　and　she　sent
Alice　back　with　it　alone。

It　seemed　so　long　since　they　had　met　that　the　change　in　Alice　did　not
strike　him　as　strange　or　as　too　rapidly　operated。　　They　met　with　the
fervour　natural　after　such　a　separation；　and　she　did　not　so　much　assume　as
resume　possession　of　him。　　It　was　charming　to　have　her　do　it；　to　have　her
act　as　if　they　had　always　been　engaged；　to　have　her　try　to　press　down　the
cowlick　that　started　capriciously　across　his　crown；　and　to　straighten　his
necktie；　and　then　to　drop　beside　him　on　the　sofa；　it　thrilled　and　awed
him；　and　he　silently　worshipped　the　superior　composure　which　her　sex　has
in　such　matters。　　Whatever　was　the　provisional　interpretation　which　her
father　and　mother　pretended　to　put　upon　the　affair；　she　apparently　had　no
reservations；　and　they　talked　of　their　future　as　a　thing　assured。　　The
Dark　Ages；　as　they　agreed　to　call　the　period　of　despair　for　ever　closed
that　morning；　had　matured　their　love　till　now　it　was　a　rapture　of　pure
trust。　　They　talked　as　if　nothing　could　prevent　its　fulfilment；　and　they
did　not　even　affect　to　consider　the　question　of　his　family's　liking　it　or
not　liking　it。　　She　said　that　she　thought　his　father　was　delightful；　and
he　told　her　that　his　father　had　taken　the　greatest　fancy　to　her　at　the
beginning；　and　knew　that　Dan　was　in　love　with　her。　　She　asked　him　about
his　mother；　and　she　said　just　what　he　could　have　wished　her　to　say　about
his　mother's　sufferings；　and　the　way　she　bore　them。　　They　talked　about
Alice's　going　to　see　her。

〃Of　course　your　father　will　bring　your　sisters　to　see　me　first。〃

〃Is　that　the　way？〃　he　asked：　〃You　may　depend　upon　his　doing　the　right
thing；　whatever　it　is。〃

〃Well；　that's　the　right　thing；〃　she　said。　　〃I've　thought　it　out；　and　that
reminds　me　of　a　duty　of　ours；　Dan！〃

〃A　duty？〃〃　he　repeated；　with　a　note　of　reluctance　for　its　untimeliness。

〃Yes。　　Can't　you　think　what？〃

〃No；　I　didn't　know　there　was　a　duty　left　in　the　world。〃

〃It's　full　of　them。〃

〃Oh；　don't　say　that；　Alice！〃　　He　did　not　like　this　mood　so　well　as　that　of
the　morning；　but　his　dislike　was　only　a　vague　discomfortnothing
formulated　or　distinct。

〃Yes；〃　she　persisted；　〃and　we　must　do　them。　　You　must　go　to　those　ladies
you　disappointed　so　this　morning；　and　apologiseexplain。〃

Dan　laughed。　　〃Why；　it　wasn't　such　a　very　ironclad　engagement　as　all　that；
Alice。　　They　said　they　were　going　to　drive　out　to　Cambridge　over　the
Milldam；　and　I　said　I　was　going　out　there　to　get　some　of　my　traps
together；　and　they　could　pick　me　up　at　the　Art　Museum　if　they　liked。
Besides；　how　could　I　explain？〃

She　laughed　consciously　with　him。　　〃Of　course。　　But；〃　she　added　ruefully；
〃I　wish　you　hadn't　disappointed　them。〃

〃Oh；　they'll　get　over　it。　　If　I　hadn't　disappointed　them；　I　shouldn't　be
here；　and　I　shouldn't　like　that。　　Should　you？〃

〃No；　but　I　wish　it　hadn't　happened。　　It's　a　blot；　and　I　didn't　want　a　blot
on　this　day。〃

〃Oh；　well；　it　isn't　very　much　of　a　blot；　and　I　can　easily　wipe　it　off。
I'll　tell　you　what；　Alice！　　I　can　write　to　Mrs。　Frobisher；　when　our
engagement　comes　out；　and　tell　her　how　it　was。　　She'll　enjoy　the　joke；　and
so　will　Miss　Wrayne。　　They're　jolly　and　easygoing；　they　won't　mind。〃

〃How　long　have　you　known　them？〃

〃I　met　them　on　Class　Day；　and　then　I　saw　themthe　day　after　I　left
Campobello。〃　　Dan　laughed　a　little。

〃How；　saw　them？〃

〃Well；　I　went　to　a　yacht　race　with　them。　　I　happened　to　meet　them　in　the
street；　and　they　wanted　me　to　go；　and　I　was　all　broken　up；　andI　Went。〃

〃Oh！〃　said　Alice。　　〃The　day　after　Iyou　left　Campobello？〃

〃Wellyes。〃

〃And　I　was　thinking　of　you　all　that　day　asAnd　I　couldn't　bear　to　look　at
anybody　that　day；　or　speak！〃

〃Well；　the　fact　is；　II　was　distracted；　and　I　didn't　know　what　I　was
doing。　　I　was　desperate；　I　didn't　care。〃

〃How　did　you　find　out　about　the　yacht　race？〃

〃Boardman　told　me。　　Boardman　was　there。〃

〃Did　he　know　the　ladies？　　Did　he　go　too？〃

〃No。　　He　was　there　to　report　the　race　for　the　Events。　　He　went　on　the
press　boat。〃

〃Oh！〃　said　Alice。　　〃Was　there　a　large　party？〃

〃No；　no。　　Not　very。　　Just　ourselves；　in　fact。　　They　were　awfully　kind。
And　they　made　me　go　home　to　dinner　with　them。〃

〃They　must　have　been　rather　peculiar　people；〃　said　Alice。　　〃And　I　don't
see　howso　soon〃　　She　could　not　realise　that　Mavering　was　then　a
rejected　man；　on　whom　she　had　voluntarily　renounced　all　claim。　　A
retroactive　resentment　which　she　could　not　control　possessed　her　with　the
wish　to　punish　those　bold　women　for　being　agreeable　to　one　who　had　since
become　everything　to　her；　though　then　he　was　ostensibly　nothing。

In　a　vague　way；　Dan　felt　her　displeasure　with　that　passage　of　his　history；
but　no　man　could　have　fully　imagined　it。

〃I　couldn't　tell　half　the　time　what　I　was　saying　or　eating。　　I　talked　at
random　and　ate　at　random。　　I　guess　they　thought　something　was　wrong；　they
asked　me　who　was　at　Campobello。〃

〃Indeed！〃

〃But　you　may　be　sure　I　didn't　give　myself　away。　　I　was　awfully　broken　up；〃
he　concluded　inconsequently。

She　liked　his　being　broken　up；　but　she　did　not　like　the　rest。　　She　would
not　press　the　question　further　now。　　She　only　said　rather　gravely；　〃If
it's　such　a　short　acquaintance；　can　you　write　to　them　in　that　familiar
way？〃

〃Oh　yes；！　　Mrs。　Frobisher　is　one　of　that　kind。〃

Alice　was　silent　a　moment　before　she　said；　〃I　think　you'd　better　not
write。　　Let　it　go；〃　she　sighed。

〃Yes；　that's　what　I　think；〃　said　Dan。　　〃Better　let　it　go。　　I　guess　it　will
explain　itself　in　the　course　of　time。　　But　I　don't　want　any　blots　around。〃
He　leaned　over　and　looked　her　smilingly　in　the　face。

〃Oh　no；〃　she　murmured；　and　then　suddenly　she　caught　him　round　the　neck；
crying　and　sobbing。　　〃It's　onlybecause　I　wanted　it　to　beperfect。　　Oh；
I　wonder　if　I've　done　right？　　Perhaps　I　oughtn't　to　have　taken　you；　after
all；　but　I　do　love　youdearly；　dearly！　　And　I　was　so　unhappy　when　I'd
lost　you。　　And　now　I'm　afraid　I　shall　be　a　trial　to　younothing　but　a
trial。〃

The　first　tears　that　a　young　man　sees　a　woman　shed　for　love　of　him　are
inexpressibly　sweeter　than　her　smiles。　　Dan　choked　with　tender　pride　and
pity。　　When　he　found　his　voice；　he　raved　out　with　incoherent　endearments
that　she　only　made　him　more　and　more　happy　by　her　wish　to　have　the　affair
perfect；　and　that　he　wished　her　always　to　be　exacting　with　him；　for　that
would　give　him　a　chance　to　do　something　for　her；　and　all　that　he　desired；
as　long　as　he　lived；　was　to　do　just　what　she　wished。

At　the　end　of　his　vows　and　entreaties；　she　lifted　her　face　radiantly；　and
bent　a　smile　upon　him　as　sunny　as　that　with　which　the　sky　after　a　summer
storm　denies　that　there　has　ever　been　rain　in　the　world。

〃Ah！　you〃　　He　could　say　no　more。　　He　could　not　be　more　enraptured　than
he　was。　　He　could　only　pass　from　surprise　to　surprise；　from　delight　to
delight。　　It　was　her　love　of　him　which　wrought　these　miracles。　　It　was　all
a　miracle；　and　no　part　more　wonderful　than　another。　　That　she；　who　had
seemed　as　distant　as　a　star；　and　divinely　sacred　from　human　touch；　should
be　there　in　his　arms；　with　her　head　on　his　shoulder；　where　his　kiss　could
reach　her　lips；　not　only　unforbidden；　but　eagerly　welcome；　was　impossible；
and　yet　it　was　true。。　　But　it　was　no　more　impossible　and　no　truer；　than
that　a　being　so　poised；　so　perfectly　self…centred　as　she；　should　already
be　so　helplessly　dependent　upon　him　for　her　happiness。　　In　the　depths　of
his　soul　he　invoked　awful　penalties　upon　himself　if　ever　he　should　betray
her　trust；　if　ever　he　should　grieve　that　tender　heart　in　the　slightest
thing；　if　from　that　moment　he　did　not　make　his　whole　life　a　sacrifice　and
an　expiation。

He　uttered　some　of　these　exalted　thoughts；　and　they　did　not　seem　to　appear
crazy　to　her。　　She　said　yes；　they　must　make　their　separate　lives　offerings
to　each　other；　and　their　joint　lives　an　offering　to　God。　　The　tears　came
into　his　eyes　at　these　words　of　hers：　they　were　so　beautiful　and　holy　and
wise。　　He　agreed　that　one　ought　always　to　go　to　church；　and　that　now　he
should　never　miss　a　service。　　He　owned　that　he　had　been　culpable　in　the
past。　　He　drew　her　closer　to　himif　that　were　possibleand　sealed　his
words　with　a　kiss。

But　he　could　not　realise　his　happiness　then；　or　afterward；　when　he　walked
the　streets　under　the　thinly　misted　moon　of　that　Indian　summer　night。

He　went　down　to　the　Events　office　when　he　left　Alice；　and　found　Boardman；
and　told　him　that　he　was　engaged；　and　tried　to　work　Boardman　up　to　some
sense　of　the　greatness　of　the　fact。　　Boardman　shoved　his　fine　white　teeth
under　his　spare　moustache；　and　made　acceptable　jokes；　but　he　did　not　ask
indiscreet　questions；。and　Dan's　statement　of　the　fact　did　not　seem　to　give
it　any　more　verity　than　it　had　before。　　He　tried　to　get　Boardman　to　come
and　walk　with　him　and　talk　it　over；　but　Boardman　said　he　had　just　been
detailed　to　go　and　work　up　the　case　of　a　Chinaman　who　had　suicided　a
little　earlier　in　the　evening。

〃Very　well；　then；　I'll　go　with　you；〃　said　Mavering。　　〃How　can　you　live　in
such　a　den　as　this？〃　he　asked；　looking　about　the　little　room　before
Boardman　turned　down　his　incandescent　electric。　　〃There　isn't　anything　big
enough　to　hold　me　but　all　outdoors。〃

In　the　street　he　linked　his　arm　through　his　friend's；　and　said　he　felt
that　he　had　a　right　to　know　all　about　the　happy　ending　of　the　affair；
since　he　had　been　told　of　that　miserable　phase　of　it　at　Portland。　　But
when　he　came　to　the　facts　he　found　himself　unable　to　give　them　with　the
fulness　he　had　promised。　　He　only　imparted　a　succinct　statement　as　to　the
where　and　when　of　the　whole　matter；　leaving　the　how　of　it　untold。

The　sketch　was