april hopes-第36章

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disappointed；　and　you　can　make　him　of　great　use。〃

〃You　see　where　I　got　it；　anyway；　Alice；〃　said　Dan；　laughing　across　the　bed
at　her。

〃Yes；　you　got　it　from　me：　I　own　it。　　A　great　part　of　my　life　was　made　up
of　making　life　pleasant　to　others　by　fibbing。　　I　stopped　it　when　I　came
here。〃

〃Oh；　not　altogether；　mother！〃　urged　her　son。　　〃You　mustn't　be　too　hard　on
yourself。〃

She　ignored　his　interruption：　〃You'll　find　Dan　a　great　convenience　with
that　agreeable　habit　of　his。　　You　can　get　him　to　make　all　your　verbal
excuses　for　you　（he'll；　do　it　beautifully）；　and　dictate　all　the　thousand
and　one　little　lying　notes　you'll　have　to　write；　he　won't　mind　it　in　the
least；　and　it　will　save　you　a　great　wear…and…tear　of　conscience。〃

〃Go　on；　mother；　go　on；〃　said　Dan；　with　delighted　eyes；　that　asked　of　Alice
if　it　were　not　all　perfectly　charming。

〃And　you　can　come　in　with　your　habitual　truthfulness　where　Dan　wouldn't
know　what　to　do；　poor　fellow。　　You'll　have　the　moral　courage　to　come　right
to　the　point　when　he　would　like　to　shillyshally；　and　you　can　be　frank
while　he's　trying　to　think　how　to　make　y…e…s　spell　no。〃

〃Any　other　little　compliments；　mother？〃　suggested　Dan。

〃No；〃　said　Mrs。　Mavering；　〃that's　all。　　I　thought　I'd　better　have　it　off
my　mind；　I　knew　you'd　never　get　it　off　yours；　and　Alice　had　better　know
the　worst。　　It　is　the　worst；　my　dear；　and　if　I　talked　of　him　till　doomsday
I　couldn't　say　any　more　harm　of　him。　　I　needn't　tell　you　how　sweet　he　is；
you　know　that；　I'm　sure；　but　you　can't　know　yet　how　gentle　and　forbearing
he　is；　how　patient；　how　full　of　kindness　to　every　living　soul；　how
unselfish；　how〃

She　lost　her　voice。　　〃Oh；　come　now；　mother；〃　Dan　protested　huskily。

Alice　did　not　say　anything；　she　bent　over；　without　repugnance；　and
gathered　the　shadowy　shape　into　her　strong　young　arms；　and　kissed　the
wasted　face　whose　unearthly　coolness　was　like　the　leaf　of　a　flower　against
her　lips。　　〃He　never　gave　me　a　moment's　trouble；〃　said　the　mother；　〃and
I'm　sure　he'll　make　you　happy。　　How　kind　of　you　not　to　be　afraid　of　me〃

〃Afraid！〃　cried　the　girl；　with　passionate　solemnity。　　〃I　shall　never　feel
safe　away　from　you！〃

The　door　opened　upon　the　sound　of　voices；　and　the　others　came　in。

Mrs。　Pasmer　did　not　wait　for　an　introduction；　but　with　an　affectation　of
impulse　which　she　felt　Mrs。　Mavering　would　penetrate　and　respect；　she　went
up　to　the　bed　and　presented　herself。　　Dan's　mother　smiled　hospitably　upon
her；　and　they　had　some　playful　words　about　their　children。　　Mrs。　Pasmer
neatly　conveyed　the　regrets　of　her　husband；　who　had　hoped　up　to　the　last
moment　that　the　heavy　cold　he　had　taken　would　let　him　come　with　her；　and
the　invalid　made　her　guest　sit　down　on　the　right　hand　of　her　bed；　which
seemed　to　be　the　place　of　honour；　while　her　husband　took　Dan's　place　on
the　left；　and　admired　his　wife's　skill　in　fence。　　At　the　end　of　her
encounter　with　Mrs。　Pasmer　she　called　out　with　her　strong　voice；　〃Why
don't　you　get　your　banjo；　Molly；　and　play　something？〃

〃A　banjo？　　Oh；　do！〃　cried　Mrs。　Pasmer。　　〃It's　so　picturesque　and
interesting！　　I　heard　that　young　ladies　had　taken　it　up；　and　I　should　so
like　to　hear　it！〃　　She　had　turned　to　Mrs。　Mavering　again；　and　she　now
beamed　winningly　upon　her。

Alice　regarded　the　girl　with　a　puzzled　frown　as　she　brought　her　banjo　in
from　another　room　and　sat　down　with　it。　　She　relaxed　the　severity　of　her
stare　a　little　as　Molly　played　one　wild　air　after　another；　singing　some　of
them　with　an　evidence　of　training　in　her　naive　effectiveness。　　There　were
some　Mexican　songs　which　she　had　learned　in　a　late　visit　to　their　country；
and　some　Creole　melodies　caught　up　in　a　winter's　sojourn　to　Louisiana。
The　elder　sister　accompanied　her　on　the　piano；　not　with　the　hard；　resolute
proficiency　which　one　might　have　expected　of　Eunice　Mavering；　but　with　a
sympathy　which　was　perhaps　the　expression　of　her　share　of　the　family
kindliness。

〃Your　children　seem　to　have　been　everywhere；〃　said　Mrs。　Pasmer；　with　a
sigh　of　flattering　envy。　　〃Oh；　you're　not　going　to　stop！〃　she　pleaded；
turning　from　Mrs。　Mavering　to　Molly。

〃I　think　Dan　had　better　do　the　rheumatic　uncle　now；〃　said　Eunice；　from　the
piano。

〃Oh　yes！　　the　rheumatic　uncledo；〃　said　Mrs。　Pasmer。　　〃We　know　the
rheumatic　uncle；〃　she　added；　with　a　glance　at　Alice。　　Dan　looked　at　her
too；　as　if　doubtful　of　her　approval；　and　then　he　told　in　character　a
Yankee　story　which　he　had　worked　up　from　the　talk　of　his　friend　the
foreman。　　It　made　them　all　laugh。

Mrs。　Pasmer　was　the　gayest；　she　let　herself　go；　and　throughout　the　evening
she　flattered　right　and　left；　and　said；　in　her　good…night　to　Mrs。
Mavering；　that　she　had　never　imagined　so　delightful　a　time。　　〃0　Mrs。
Mavering；　I　don't　wonder　your　children　love　their　home。　　It's　a
revelation。〃




XXXIV。

〃She's　a　cat；　Dan；〃　said　his　mother　quietly；　and　not　without　liking；　when
he　looked　in　for　his　goodnight　kiss　after　the　rest　were　gone；　〃a　perfect
tabby。　　But　your　Alice　is　sublime。〃

〃O　mother〃

〃She's　a　little　too　sublime　for　me。　　But　you're　young；　and　you　can　stand
it。〃

Dan　laughed　with　delight。　　〃Yes；　I　think　I　can；　mother。　　All　I　ask　is　the
chance。〃

〃Oh；　you're　very　much　in　love；　both　of　you；　there's　no　doubt　about　that。
What　I　mean　is　that　she's　very　high　strung；　very　intense。　　She　has　ideals…
…any　one　can　see　that。〃

Dan　took　it　all　for　praise。　　〃Yes；〃　he　said　eagerly；　〃that's　what　I　told
you。　　And　that　will　be　the　best　thing　about　it　for　me。　　I　have　no　ideals。〃

〃Well；　you　must　find　out　what　hers　are；　and　live　up　to　them。〃

〃Oh；　there　won't　be　any　trouble　about　that；〃　said　Dan　buoyantly。

〃You　must　help　her　to　find　them　out　too。〃　　He　looked　puzzled。　　〃　You
mustn't　expect　the　child　to　be　too　definite　at　first；　nor　to　be　always
right；　even　when　she's　full　of　ideals。　　You　must　be　very　patient　with　her；
Dan。〃

〃Oh；　I　will；　mother！　　You　know　that。　　How　could　I　ever　be　impatient　with
Alice？〃

〃Very　forbearing；　and　very　kind；　and　indefatigably　forgiving。　　Ask　your
father　how　to　behave。〃

Dan　promised　to　do　so；　with　a　laugh　at　the　joke。　　It　had　never　occurred　to
him　that　his　father　was　particularly　exemplary　in　these　things；　or　that
his　mother　idolised　him　for　what　seemed　to　Dan　simply　a　matter…of…course
endurance　of　her　sick　whims　and　freaks　and　moods。　　He　broke　forth　into　a
vehement　protest　of　his　good　intentions；　to　which　his　mother　did　not　seem
very　attentive。　　After　a　while　she　asked

〃Is　she　always　so　silent；　Dan？〃

〃Well；　not　with　me；　mother。　　Of　course　she　was　a　little　embarrassed；　she
didn't　know　exactly　what　to　say；　I　suppose〃

〃Oh；　I　rather　liked　that。　　At　least　she　isn't　a　rattle…pate。　　And　we　shall
get　acquainted；　we　shall　like　each　other。　　She　will　understand　me　when　you
bring　her　home　here　to　live　with　us；　and〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Dan；　rising　rather　hastily；　and　stooping　over　to　his　mother。
〃I'm　not　going　to　let　you　talk　any　more　now；　or　we　shall　have　to　suffer
for　it　to…morrow　night。〃

He　got　gaily　away　before　his　mother　could　amplify　a　suggestion　which
spoiled　a　little　of　his　pleasure　in　the　praiseshe　thought　they　were
unqualified　and　enthusiastic　praisesshe　had　been　heaping　upon　Alice。　　He
wished　to　go　to　bed　with　them　all　sweet　and　unalloyed　in　his　thought；　to
sleep；　to　dream　upon　his　perfect　triumph。

Mrs。　Pasmer　was　a　long　time　in　undressing；　and　in　calming　down　after　the
demands　which　the　different　events　of　the　evening　had　made　upon　her
resources。

〃It　has　certainly　been　a　very　mixed　evening；　Alice；〃　she　said；　as　she　took
the　pins　out　of　her　back　hair　and　let　it　fall；　and　she　continued　to　talk
as　she　went　back　and　forth　between　their　rooms。　　〃What　do　you　think　of
banjo…playing　for　young　ladies？　　Isn't　it　rather　rowdy？　　Decidedly　rowdy；
I　think。　　And　Dan's　Yankee　story！　　I　expected　to　see　the　old　gentleman　get
up　and　perform　some　trick。〃

〃I　suppose　they　do　it　to　amuse　Mrs。　Mavering；〃　said　Alice；　with　cold
displeasure。

〃Oh；　it's　quite　right；〃　tittered　Mrs。　Pasmer。　　〃It　would　be　as　much　as
their　lives　are　worth　if　they　didn't。　　You　can　see　that　she　rules　them
with　a　rod　of　iron。　　What　a　will！　　I'm　glad　you're　not　going　to　come　under
her　sway；　I　really　think　you　couldn't　be　safe　from　her　in　the　same
hemisphere；　it's　well　you're　going　abroad　at　once。　　They're　a　very　self…
concentrated　family；　don't　you　thinkvery　self…satisfied？　　Of　course
that's　the　danger　of　living　off　by　themselves　as　they　do：　they　get　to
thinking　there's　nobody　else　in　the　world。　　You　would　simply　be　absorbed
by　them：　it's　a　hair…breadth　escape。

How　splendidly　Dan　contrasts　with　the　others！　　Oh；　he's　delightful；　he's　a
man　of　the　world。　　Give　me　the　world；　after　all！　　And　he's　so　considerate
of　their　rustic　conceit！　　What　a　house！　　It's　perfectly　baronialand
ridiculous。　　In　any　other　country　it　would　mean　somethingsociety；
entertainments；　troops　of　guests；　but　here　it　doesn't　mean　anything　but
money。　　Not　that　money　isn't　a　very　good　thing；　I　wish　we　had　more　of　it。
But　now　you　see　how　very　little　it　can　do　by　itself。　　You　looked　very
well；　Alice；　and　behaved　with　great　dignity；　perhaps　too　much。　　You　ought
to　enter　a　little　more　into　the　spirit　of　things；　even　if　you　don't
respect　them。　　That　oldest　girl　isn't　particularly　pleased；　I　fancy；
though　it　doesn't　matter　really。〃

Alice　replied　to　her　mother　from　time　to　time　with　absent　Yeses　and　Noes；
she　sat　by　the　window　looking　out　on　the　hillside　lawn　before　the　house；
the　moon　had　risen；　and　poured　a　flood　of　snowy　light　over　it；　in　which
the　cold　statues　dimly　shone；　and　the　firs；　in　clumps　and　singly；
blackened　with　an　inky　solidity。　　Beyond　wandered　the　hills；　their　bare
pasturage　broken　here　and　there　by　blotches　of　woodland。

After　her　mother　had　gone　to　bed　she　turned　her　light　down　and　resumed　her
seat　by　the　window；　pressing　her　hot　forehead　against　the　pane；　and　losing
all　sense　of　the　scene　without　in　the　whirl　of　her　thoughts。

After　this；　evening　of　gay　welcome　in　Dan's　family；　and　those　moments　of
tenderness　with　him；　her　heart　was　troubled。　　She　now　realised　her
engagement　as　something　exterior　to　herself　and　her　own　family；　and
confronted　for　the　first　time　its　responsibilities；　its　ties；　and　its
claims。　　It　was　not　enough　to　be　everything　to　Dan；　she　could　not　be　that
unless　she　were　something　to　his　family。　　She　did　not　realise　this
vividly；　but　with　the　remoteness　which　all　verities　except　those　of
sensation　have　for　youth。

Her　uneasiness　was　full　of　exultation；　of　triumph；　she　knew　she　had　been
admired　by　Dan's　family；　and　she　experienced　the　sweetness　of　having
pleased　them　for　his　sake；　his　happy　eyes　shone　before　her；　but　she　was
touched　in　her　self…love　by　what　her　mother　had　coarsely　characterised　in
them。　　They　had　regarded　her　liking　them　as　a　matter　of　course；　his　mother
had　ignored　her　even　in　pretending　to　decry　Dan　to　her。　　But　again　this
was　very　remote；　very　momentary。　　It　was　no　nearer；　no　more　lasting　on　the
surface　of　her　happiness；　than　the　flying　whiff's　of　thin　cloud　that
chased　across　the　moon　and　lost　themselves　in　the　vast　blue　around　it。




XXXV。

People　came　to　the　first　of　Mrs。　James　Bellingham's　receptions　with　the
expectation　of　pleasure　which　the　earlier