april hopes-第39章

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Mavering　glanced　at　the　only　chair　in　the　room：　Boardman's　clothes　dripped
and　dangled　over　it。　　〃Throw　'em　on　the　bed；〃　he　said；　following
Mavering's　glance。

〃I'll　take　the　bed　myself；〃　said　Mavering；　and　he　sat　down　on　the　side　of
it；　and　was　again　suggestively　silent。

Boardman　moved　his　head　on　the　pillow；　as　he　watched　Mavering's　face；　with
the　agreeable　sense　of　personal　security　which　we　all　feel　in　viewing
trouble　from　the　outside：　〃You　seem　balled　up　about　something。〃

Mavering　sighed　heavily。　　〃Balled　up？　　It's　no　word　for　it。　　Boardman；　I'm
done　for。　　Yesterday　I　was　the　happiest　fellow　in　the　world；　and　nowYes；
it's　all　over　with　me；　and　it's　my　own　fault；　as　usual。　　Look；　at　that！〃
He　jerked　Boardman　a　note　which　he　had　been　holding　fast　in　his　band；　and
got　up　and　went　to　look　himself　at　the　wide　range　of　chimney…pots　and
slated　roofs　which　Boardman's　dormer…window　commanded。

〃Want　me　to　read　it？〃　Boardman　asked；　and　Mavering　nodded　without　glancing
round。　　It　dispersed　through　the　air　of　Boardman's　room；　as　he　unfolded
it；　a　thin；　elect　perfume；　like　a　feminine　presence；　refined　and　strict；
and　Boardman　involuntarily　passed　his　hand　over　his　rumpled　hair；　as　if　to
make　himself　a　little　more　personable　before　reading　the　letter。

〃DEAR　MR。　MAVERING；I　enclose　the　ring　you　gave　me　the　other　day；　and　I
release　you　from　the　promise　you　gave　with　it。　　I　am　convinced　that　you
wronged　yourself　in　offering　either　without　your　whole　heart；　and　I　care
too　much　for　your　happiness　to　let　you　persist　in　your　sacrifice。

〃In　begging　that　you　will　not　uselessly　attempt　to　see　me；　but　that　you
will　consider　this　note　final；　I　know　you　will　do　me　the　justice　not　to
attribute　an　ungenerous　motive　to　me。　　I　shall　rejoice　to　hear　of　any　good
that　may　befall　you；　and　I　shall　try　not　to　envy　any　one　through　whom　it
comes。Yours　sincerely；〃　〃ALICE　PASMER。〃

〃P。S。I　say　nothing　of　circumstances　or　of　persons；　I　feel　that　any
comment　of　mine　upon　them　would　be　idle。〃


Mavering　looked　up　at　the　sound　Boardman　made　in　refolding　the　letter。
Boardman　grinned；　with　sparkling　eyes。　　〃Pretty　neat；〃　he　said。

〃Pretty　infernally　neat；〃　roared　Mavering。

〃Do　you　suppose　she　means　business？〃

〃Of　course　she　means　business。　　Why　shouldn't　she？〃

〃I　don't　know。　　Why　should　she？〃

〃Well；　I'll　tell　you；　Boardman。　　I　suppose　I　shall　have　to　tell　you　if　I'm
going　to　get　any　good　out　of　you；　but　it's　a　dose。〃　　He　came　away　from
the　window；　and　swept　Boardman's　clothes　off　the　chair　preparatory　to
taking　it。

Boardman　lifted　his　head　nervously　from　the　pillow。

〃Oh；　I'll　put　them　on　the　bed；　if　you're　so　punctilious！〃　cried　Mavering。

〃I　don't　mind　the　clothes；〃　said　Boardman。　　〃I　thought　I　heard　my　watch
knock　on　the　floor　in　my　vest　pocket。　　Just　take　it　out；　will　you；　and　see
if　you've　stopped　it？〃

〃Oh；　confound　your　old　Waterbury！　　All　the　world's　stopped；　why　shouldn't
your　watch　stop　too？〃　　Mavering　tugged　it　out　of　the　pocket；　and　then
shoved　it　back　disdainfully。　　〃You　couldn't　stop　that　thing　with　anything
short　of　a　sledgehammer；　it's　rattling　away　like　a　mowing…machine。　　You
know　those　Portland　womenthose　ladies　I　spent　the　day　with　when　you　were
down　there　at　the　regattathe　day　I　came　from　CampobelloMrs。　Frobisher
and　her　sister？〃　　He　agglutinated　one　query　to　another　till　he　saw　a　light
of　intelligence　dawn　in　Boardman's　eye。　　〃Well；　they're　at　the　bottom　of
it；　I　suppose。　　I　was　introduced　to　them　on　Class　Day；　and　I　ought　to　have
shown　them　some　attention　there；　but　the　moment　I　saw　AliceMiss　Pasmer
I　forgot　all　about　'em。　　But　they　didn't　seem　to　have　noticed　it　much；　and
I　made　it　all　right　with　'em　that　day　at　Portland；　and　they　came　up　in　the
fall；　and　I　made　an　appointment　with　them　to　drive　out　to　Cambridge　and
show　them　the　place。　　They　were　to　take　me　up　at　the　Art　Museum；　but　that
was　the　day　I　met　Miss　Pasmer；　and　II　forgot　about　those　women　again。〃

Boardman　was　one　of　those　who　seldom　laugh；　but　his　grin　expressed　all
the　malicious　enjoyment　he　felt。　　He　said　nothing　in　the　impressive
silence　which　Mavering　let　follow　at　this　point。

〃Oh；　you　think　it　was　funny？〃　cried　Mavering。　　〃I　thought　it　was　funny
too；　but　Alice　herself　opened　my　eyes　to　what　I'd　done；　and　I　always
intended　to　make　it　all　right　with　them　when　I　got　the　chance。　　I　supposed
she　wished　me　too。〃

Boardman　grinned　afresh。

〃She　told　me　I　must；　though　she　seemed　to　dislike　my　having　been　with　them
the　day　after　she'd　thrown　me　over。　　But　if〃Mavering　interrupted　himself
to　say；　as　the　grin　widened　on　Boardman's　face〃if　you　think　it　was　any
case　of　vulgar　jealousy；　you're　very　much　mistaken；　Boardman。　　She　isn't
capable　of　it；　and　she　was　so　magnanimous　about　it　that　I　made　up　my　mind
to　do　all　I　could　to　retrieve　myself。　　I　felt　that　it　was　my　duty　to　her。
Well；　last　night　at　Mrs。　Jim　Bellingham's　reception〃

A　look　of　professional　interest　replaced　the　derision　in　Boardman's　eyes。
〃Any　particular　occasion　for　the　reception？　　Given　in　honour　of　anybody？〃

〃I'll　contribute　to　your　society　notes　some　other　time；　Boardman；〃　said
Mavering　haughtily。　　〃I'm　speaking　to　a　friend；　not　an　interviewer。　　Well；
whom　should　I　see　after　the　first　waltzI'd　been　dancing　with　Alice；　and
we　were　taking　a　turn　through　the　drawing…room；　and　she　hanging　on　my　arm；
and　I　knew　everybody　saw　how　it　was；　and　I　was　feeling　wellwhom　should　I
see　but　these　women。　　They　were　in　a　corner　by　themselves；　looking　at　a
picture；　and　trying　to　look　as　if　they　were　doing　it　voluntarily。　　But　I
could　see　at　a　glance　that　they　didn't　know　anybody；　and　I　knew　they　had
better　be　in　the　heart　of　the　Sahara　without　acquaintances　than　where　they
were；　and　when　they　bowed　forlornly　across　the　room　to　me；　my　heart　was　in
my　mouth；　I　felt　so　sorry　for　them；　and　I　told　Alice　who　they　were；　and　I
supposed　she'd　want　to　rush　right　over　to　them　with　me〃

〃And　did　she　rush？〃　asked　Boardman；　filling　up　a　pause　which　Mavering　made
in　wiping　his　face。

〃How　infernally　hot　you　have　it　in　here！〃　　He　went　to　the　window　and　threw
it　up；　and　then　did　not　sit　down　again；　but　continued　to　walk　back　and
forth　as　he　talked。　　〃She　didn't　seem　to　know　who　they　were　at　first；　and
when　I　made　her　understand　she　hung　back；　and　said；　'Those　showy　things？'
and　I　must　say　I　think　she　was　wrong；　they　were　dressed　as　quietly　as
nine…tenths　of　the　people　there；　only　they　are　rather　large；　handsome
women。　　I　said　I　thought　we　ought　to　go　and　speak　to　them；　they　seemed
stranded　there；　but　she　didn't　seem　to　see　it；　and；　when　I　persisted；　she
said；　'　Well；　you　go　if　you　think　best；　but　take　me　to　mamma。'　　And　I
supposed　it　was　all　right；　and　I　told　Mrs。　Pasmer　I'd　be　back　in　a　minute；
and　then　I　went　off　to　those　women。　　And　after　I'd　talked　with　them　a
while　I　saw　Mrs。　Brinkley　sitting　with　old　Bromfield　Corey　in　another
corner；　and　I　got　them　across　and　introduced　them；　after　I'd　explained　to
Mrs。　Brinkley　who　they　were；　and　they　began　to　have　a　good　time；　and　I
didn't。〃

〃Just　so；〃　said　Boardman。

〃I　thought　I　hadn't　been　gone　any　while　at　all　from　Alice；　but　the　weather
had　changed　by　the　time　I　had　got　back。　　Alice　was　pretty　serious；　and　she
was　engaged　two　or　three　dances　deep；　and　I　could　see　her　looking　over　the
fellows'　shoulders；　as　she　went　round　and　round；　pretty　pale。　　I　hung
about　till　she　was　free；　but　then　she　couldn't　dance　with　me；　she　said　her
head　ached；　and　she　made　her　mother　take　her　home　before　supper；　and　I
mooned　round　like　my　own　ghost　a　while；　and　then　I　went　home。　　And　as　if
that　wasn't　enough；　I　could　see　by　the　looks　of　those　other　womenold
Corey　forgot　Miss　Wrayne　in　the　supper…room；　and　I　had　to　take　her　back
that　I　hadn't　made　it　right　with　them；　even；　they　were　as　hard　and　smooth
as　glass。　　I'd　ruined　myself；　and　ruined　myself　for　nothing。〃

Mavering　flung　Boardman's　chair　over；　and　seated　himself　on　its　rungs。

〃I　went　to　bed；　and　waited　for　the　next　thing　to　happen。　　I　found　my
thunderbolt　waiting　for　me　when　I　woke　up。　　I　didn't　know　what　it　was
going　to　be；　but　when　I　felt　a　ring　through　the　envelope　of　that　note　I
knew　what　it　was。　　I　mind…read　that　note　before　I　opened　it。〃

〃Give　it　to　the　Society　for　Psychical　Research；〃　suggested　Boardman。
〃Been　to　breakfast？〃

〃Breakfast！〃　echoed　Mavering。　　〃Well；　now；　Boardman；　what　use　do　you
suppose　I've　got　for　breakfast　under　the　circumstances？〃

〃Well；　not　very　much；　but　your　story's　made　me　pretty　hungry。　　Would　you
mind　turning　your　back；　or　going　out　and　sitting　on　the　top　step　of　the
stairs'　landing；　or　something；　while　I　get　up　and　dress？〃

〃Oh；　I　can　go；　if　you　want　to　get　rid　of　me；〃　said　Mavering；　with
unresentful　sadness。　　〃But　I　hoped　you　might　have　something　to　suggest；
Boardy。'

〃Well；　I've　suggested　two　things；　and　you　don't　like　either。　　Why　not　go
round　and　ask　to　see　the　old　lady？〃

〃Mrs。　Pasmer？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Well；　I　thought　of　that。　　But　I　didn't　like　to　mention　it；　for　fear　you'd
sit　on　it。　　When　would　you　go？〃

〃Well；　about　as　quick　as　I　could　get　there。　　It's　early　for　a　call；　but
it's　a　peculiar　occasion；　and　it'll　show　your　interest　in　the　thing。　　You
can't　very　well　let　it　cool　on　your　hands；　unless　you　mean　to　accept　the
situation。〃

〃What　do　you　mean？〃　demanded　Mavering；　getting　up　and　standing　over
Boardman。　　〃Do　you　think　I　could　accept　the　situation；　as　you　call　it；　and
live？〃

〃You　did　once；〃　said　Boardman。　　〃You　couldn't；　unless　you　could　fix　it　up
with　Mrs。　Frobisher's　sister。〃

Mavering　blushed。　　〃It　was　a　different　thing　altogether　then。　　I　could
have　broken　off　then；　but　I　tell　you　it　would　kill　me　now。　　I've　got　in
too　deep。　　My　whole　life's　set　on　that　girl。　　You　can't　understand；
Boardman；　because　you've　never　been　there；　but　I　couldn't　give　her　up。〃

〃All　right。　　Better　go　and　see　the　old　lady　without　loss　of　time；　or　the
old　man；　if　you　prefer。〃

Mavering　sat　down　on　the　edge　of　the　bed　again。　　〃Look　here；　Boardman；
what　do　you　mean？〃

〃By　what？〃

〃By　being　so　confoundedly　heartless。　　Did　you　suppose　that　I　wanted　to　pay
those　women　any　attention　last　night　from　an　interested　motive？〃

〃Seems　to　have　been　Miss　Pasmer's　impression。〃

〃Well；　you're　mistaken。　　She　had　no　such　impression。　　She　would　have　too
much　self…respect；　too　much　pridemagnanimity。　　She　would　know　that　after
such　a　girl　as　she　is　I　couldn't　think　of　any　other　woman；　the　thing　is
simply　impossible。〃

〃That's　the　theory。〃

〃Theory？　　It's　the　practice！〃

〃Certain　exceptions。〃

〃There's　no　exception　in　my　case。　　No；　sir！　　I　tell　you　this　thing　is　for
all　timefor　eternity。　　It　makes　me　or　it　mars　me；　once　for　all。　　She　may
listen　to　me　or　she　may　not　listen；　but　as　long　as　she　lives　there's　no
other　woman　alive　for　me。〃

〃Better　go　and　tell　her　so。　　You're　wasting　your　arguments　on　me。〃

〃Why？〃

〃Because　I'm　convinced　already。　　Because　people　always　marry　their　first
and　only　loves。　　Because　people　never　marry　twice　for　love。　　Because　I've
never　seen　you　hit　before；　and　I　know　you　never　could　be　again。　　Now　go
and　convince　Miss　Pasmer。　　She'll　believe　you；　because　she'll　know　that
she　can　never　care　for　any　one　but　you；　and　you　naturally　can't　car