april hopes-第42章

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confidant；　and　did　not　demand　of　him　a　report　of　all　he　said　to　Boardman。
A　main　fact　of　their　love；　she　said；　must　be　their　utter　faith　in　each
other。　　She　had　her　own　confidante；　and　the　disparity　of　years　between　her
and　Miss　Cotton　counted　for　nothing　in　the　friendship　which　their　exchange
of　trust　and　sympathy　cemented。　　Miss　Cotton；　in　the　freshness　of　her
sympathy　and　the　ideality　of　her　inexperience；　was　in　fact　younger　than
Alice；　at　whose　feet；　in　the　things　of　soul　and　character；　she　loved　to
sit。　　She　never　said　to　her　what　she　believed：　that　a　girl　of　her
exemplary　principles；　a　nature　conscious　of　such　noble　ideals；　so　superior
to　other　girls；　who　in　her　place　would　be　given　up　to　the　happiness　of　the
moment；　and　indifferent　to　the　sense　of　duty　to　herself　and　to　others；　was
sacrificed　to　a　person　of　Mavering's　gay；　bright　nature　and　trivial
conception　of　life。　　She　did　not　deny　his　sweetness；　that　was　perhaps　the
one　saving　thing　about　him；　and　she　confessed　that　he　simply　adored　Alice；
that　counted　for　everything；　and　it　was　everything　in　his　favour　that　he
could　appreciate　such　a　girl。　　She　hoped；　she　prayed；　that　Alice　might
never　realise　how　little　depth　he　had；　that　she　might　go　through　life　and
never　suspect　it。　　If　she　did　so；　then　they　might　be　happy　together　to　the
end；　or　at　least　Alice　might　never　know　she　was　unhappy。

Miss　Cotton　never　said　these　things　in　so　many　words；　it　is　doubtful　if
she　ever　said　them　in　any　form　of　words；　with　her　sensitive　anxiety　not　to
do　injustice　to　any　one；　she　took　Dan's　part　against　those　who　viewed　the
engagement　as　she　allowed　it　to　appear　only　to　her　secret　heart。　　She
defended　him　the　more　eagerly　because　she　felt　that　it　was　for　Alice's
sake；　and　that　everything　must　be　done　to　keep　her　from　knowing　how　people
looked　at　the　affair；　even　to　changing　people's　minds。　　She　said　to　all
who　spoke　to　her　of　it　that　of　course　Alice　was　superior　to　him；　but　he
was　devoted　to　her；　and　he　would　grow　into　an　equality　with　her。　　He　was
naturally　very　refined；　she　said；　and；　if　he　was　not　a　very　serious
person；　he　was　amiable　beyond　anything。　　She　alleged　many　little　incidents
of　their　acquaintance　at　Campobello　in　proof　of　her　theory　that　he　had　an
instinctive　appreciation　of　Alice；　and　she　was　sure　that　no　one　could
value　her　nobleness　of　character　more　than　he。　　She　had　seen　them　a　good
deal　together　since　their　engagement；　and　it　was　beautiful　to　see　his
manner　with　her。　　They　were　opposites；　but　she　counted　a　good　deal　upon
that　very　difference　in　their　temperaments　to　draw　them　to　each　other。

It　was　an　easy　matter　to　see　Dan　and　Alice　together。　　Their　engagement
came　out　in　the　usual　way：　it　had　been　announced　to　a　few　of　their　nearest
friends；　and　intelligence　of　it　soon　spread　from　their　own　set　through
society　generally；　it　had　been　published　in　the　Sunday　papers　while　it　was
still　in　the　tender　condition　of　a　rumour；　and　had　been　denied　by　some　of
their　acquaintance　and　believed　by　all。

The　Pasmer　cousinship　had　been　just　in　the　performance　of　the　duties　of
blood　toward　Alice　since　the　return　of　her　family　from　Europe；　and　now　did
what　was　proper　in　the　circumstances。　　All　who　were　connected　with　her
called　upon　her　and　congratulated　her；　they　knew　Dan；　the　younger　of　them；
much　better　than　they　knew　her；　and　though　he　had　shrunk　from　the　nebulous
bulk　of　social　potentiality　which　every　young　man　is　to　that　much　smaller
nucleus　to　which　definite　betrothal　reduces　him；　they　could　be　perfectly
sincere　in　calling　him　the　sweetest　fellow　that　ever　was；　and　too　lovely
to　live。

In　such　a　matter　Mr。　Pasmer　was　naturally　nothing；　he　could　not　be　less
than　he　was　at　other　times；　but　he　was　not　more；　and　it　was　Mrs。　Pasmer
who　shared　fully　with　her　daughter　the　momentary　interest　which　the
engagement　gave　Alice　with　all　her　kindred。　　They　believed；　of　course；
that　they　recognised　in　it　an　effect　of　her　skill　in　managing；　they　agreed
to　suppose　that　she　had　got　Mavering　for　Alice；　and　to　ignore　the　beauty
and　passion　of　youth　as　factors　in　the　case。　　The　closest　of　the　kindred；
with　the　romantic　delicacy　of　Americans　in　such　things；　approached　the
question　of　Dan's　position　and　prospects；　and　heard　with　satisfaction　the
good　accounts　which　Mrs。　Pasmer　was　able　to　give　of　his　father's
prosperity。　　There　had　always　been　more　or　less　apprehension　among　them　of
a　time　when　a　family　subscription　would　be　necessary　for　Bob　Pasmer；　and
in　the　relief　which　the　new　situation　gave　them　some　of　them　tried　to
remember　having　known　Dan's　father　in　College；　but　it　finally　came　to
their　guessing　that　they　must　have　heard　John　Munt　speak　of　him。

Mrs。　Pasmer　had　a　supreme　control　in　the　affair。　　She　believed　with　the
restso　deeply　is　this　delusion　seatedthat　she　had　made　the　match；　but
knowing　herself　to　have　used　no　dishonest　magic　in　the　process；　she　was
able　to　enjoy　it　with　a　clean　conscience。　　She　grew　fonder　of　Dan；　they
understood　each　other；　she　was　his　refuge　from　Alice's　ideals；　and　helped
him　laugh　off　his　perplexity　with　them。　　They　were　none　the　less　sincere
because　they　were　not　in　the　least　frank　with　each　other。　　She　let　Dan
beat　about　the　bush　to　his　heart's　content；　and　waited　for　him　at　the
point　which　she　knew　he　was　coming　to；　with　an　unconsciousness　which　he
knew　was　factitious；　neither　of　them　got　tired　of　this；　or　failed　freshly
to　admire　the　other's　strategy。




XL。

It　cannot　be　pretended　that　Alice　was　quite　pleased　with　the　way　her
friends　took　her　engagement；　or　rather　the　way　in　which　they　spoke　of　Dan。
It　seemed　to　her　that　she　alone；　or　she　chiefly；　ought　to　feel　that
sweetness　and　loveliness　of　which　every　one　told　her；　as　if　she　could　not
have　known　it。　　If　he　was　sweet　and　lovely　to　every　one；　how　was　he
different　to　her　except　in　degree？　　Ought　he　not　to　be　different　in　kind？
She　put　the　case　to　Miss　Cotton；　whom　it　puzzled；　while　she　assured　Alice
that　he　was　different　in　kind　to　her；　though　he　might　not　seem　so；　the
very　fact　that　he　was　different　in　degree　proved　that　he　was　different　in
kind。　　This　logic　sufficed　for　the　moment　of　its　expression；　but　it　did
not　prevent　Alice　from　putting　the　case　to　Dan　himself。　　At　one　of　those
little　times　when　she　sat　beside　him　alone　and　rearranged　his　necktie；　or
played　with　his　watch　chain；　or　passed　a　critical　hand　over　his　cowlick；
she　asked　him　if　he　did　not　think　they　ought　to　have　an　ideal　in　their
engagement。　　〃What　ideal？〃　he　asked。　　He　thought　it　was　all　solid　ideal
through　and　through。　　〃Oh；〃　she　said；　〃be　more　and　more　to　each　other。〃
He　said　he　did　not　see　how　that　could　be；　if　there　was　anything　more　of
him；　she　was　welcome　to　it；　but　he　rather　thought　she　had　it　all。　　She
explained　that　she　meant　being　less　to　others；　and　he　asked　her　to　explain
that。

〃Well；　when　we're　anywhere　together；　don't　you　think　we　ought　to　show　how
different　we　are　to　each　other　from　what　we　are　to　any　one　else。〃

Dan　laughed。　　〃I'm　afraid　we　do；　Alice；　I　always　supposed　one　ought　to
hide　that　little　preference　as　much　as　possible。　　You　don't　want　me　to　be
dangling　after　you　every　moment？〃

〃No…o…o。　　But　notdangle　after　others。〃

Dan　sighed　a　littlea　little　impatiently。　　〃Do　I　dangle　after　others？〃

〃Of　course　not。　　But　show　that　we're　thoroughly　united　in　all　our　tastes
and　feelings；　andlike　and　dislike　the　same　persons。〃

〃I　don't　think　that　will　be　difficult；〃　said　Dan。

She　was　silent　a　moment；　and　then　she　said；　〃You　don't　like　to　have　me
bring　up　such　things？〃

〃Oh　yes；　I　do。　　I　wish　to　be　and　do　just　what　you　wish。〃

〃But　I　can　see；　I　can　understand；　that　you　would　sooner　pass　the　time
without　talking　of　them。　　You　like　to　be　perfectly　happy；　and　not　to　have
any　cares　whenwhen　you're　with　me　this　way？〃

〃Well；　yes；　I　suppose　I　do；〃　said　Dan；　laughing　again。　　〃I　suppose　I
rather　do　like　to　keep　pleasure　and　duty　apart。　　But　there's　nothing　you
can　wish；　Alice；　that　isn't　a　pleasure　to　me。〃

〃I'm　very　different；〃　said　the　girl。　　〃I　can't　be　at　peace　unless　I　know
that　I　have　a　right　to　be　so。　　But　now；　after　this；　I'm　going　to　do　your
way。　　If　it's　your　way；　it'll　be　the　right　wayfor　me。〃　　She　looked
sublimely　resolved；　with　a　grand　lift　of　the　eyes；　and　Dan　caught　her　to
him　in　a　rapture；　breaking　into　laughter。

〃Oh；　don't！　　Mine's　a　bad　waythe　worst　kind　of　a　way；〃　he　cried。

〃It　makes　everybody　like　you；　and　mine　makes　nobody　like　me。〃

〃It　makes　me　like　you；　and　that's　quite　enough。　　I　don't　want　other　people
to　like　you！〃

〃Yes；　that's　what　I　mean！〃　cried　Alice；　and　now　she　flung　herself　on　his
neck；　and　the　tears　came。　　〃Do　you　suppose　it　can　be　very　pleasant　to　have
everybody　talking　of　you　as　if　everybody　loved　you　as　muchas　much　as　I
do？〃　　She　clutched　him　tighter　and　sobbed。

〃O　Alice！　　Alice！　　Alice！　　Nobody　could　ever　be　what　you　are　to　me！〃　He
soothed　and　comforted　her　with　endearing　words　and　touches；　but　before　he
could　have　believed　her　half　consoled　she　pulled　away　from　him；　and　asked；
with　shining　eyes；　〃Do　you　think　Mr。　Boardman　is　a　good　influence　in　your
life？〃

〃Boardman！〃　cried　Mavering；　in　astonishment。　　〃Why；　I　thought　you　liked
Boardman？〃

〃I　do；　and　I　respect　him　very　much。　　But　that　isn't　the　question。　　Don't
you　think　we　ought　to　ask　ourselves　how　others　influence　us？〃

〃Well；　I　don't　see　much　of　Boardy　nowadays；　but　I　like　to　drop　down　and
touch　earth　in　Boardy　once　in　a　whileI'm　in　the　air　so　much。　　Board　has
more　common…sense；　more　solid　chunk…wisdom；　than　anybody　I　know。　　He's
kept　me　from　making　a　fool　of　myself　more　times〃

〃Wasn't　he　with　you　that　day　withwith　those　women　in　Portland？〃

Dan　winced　a　little；　and　then　laughed。　　〃No；　he　wasn't。　　That　was　the
trouble。　　Boardman　was　off　on　the　press　boat。　　I　thought　I　told　you。　　But
if　you　object　to　Boardman〃

〃I　don't。　　You　mustn't　think　I　object　to　people　when　I　ask　you　about　them。
All　that　I　wished　was　that　you　should　think　yourself　what　sort　of
influence　he　was。　　I　think　he's　a　very　good　influence。〃

〃He's　a　splendid　fellow；　Boardman　is；　Alice！〃　cried　Dan。　　〃You　ought　to
have　seen　how　he　fought　his　way　through　college　on　such　a　little　money；
and　never　skulked　or　felt　mean。　　He　wasn't　appreciated　for　it；　the　men
don't　notice　these　things　much；　but　he　didn't　want　to　have　it　noticed；
always　acted　as　if　it　was　neither　here　nor　there；　and　now　I　guess　he　sends
out　home　whatever　he　has　left　after　keeping　soul　and　body　together　every
week。〃

He　spoke；　perhaps；　with　too　great　an　effect　of　relief。　　Alice　listened；　as
it　seemed；　to　his　tone　rather　than　his　words；　and　said　absently

〃Yes；　that's　grand。　　But　I　don't　want　you　to　act　as　if　you　were　afraid　of
me　in　such　things。〃

〃　Afraid？〃　Dan　echoed。

〃I　don't　mean　actually　afraid；　but　as　if　you　thought　I　couldn't　be
reasonable；　as　if　you　supposed　I　didn't　expect　you　to　make　mistakes　or　to
be　imperfect。〃

〃Yes；　I　know　you're　very　reasonable；　and　you're　more　patient　with　me　than
I　deserve；　I　know　all　that；　and　it's　only　my　wish　to　come　up　to　your
standard；　I　suppose；　that　gives　me　that　apprehensive　appearance。〃

〃That　was　what　vexed　me　with　you　there　at　Campobello；　when　youasked　me　〃

〃Yes；　I　know。〃

〃You　oug