april hopes-第57章

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right。〃

〃Yes；　I　see。　　Thank　you　so　much；　Mrs。　Brinkley。〃

〃After　all；　we　have　a　right　to　do　ourselves　good；　even　when　we　pretend
that　it's　good　to　others；　if　we　don't　do　them　any　harm。〃

〃Yes；　I　see。〃　　Alice　looked　away；　and　then　seemed　about　to　speak　again；
but　one　of　Mrs。　Brinkley's　acquaintance　came　up；　and　the　girl　rose　with　a
frightened　air　and　went　away。

〃Alice's　talk　with　you　this　morning　did　her　so　much　good！〃　said　Mrs。
Pasmer；　later。　　〃She　has　always　felt　so　badly　about　Miss　Anderson！〃

Mrs。　Brinkley　saw　that　Mrs。　Pasmer　wished　to　confine　the　meaning　of　their
talk　to　Miss　Anderson；　and　she　assented；　with　a　penetration　of　which　she
saw　that　Mrs。　Pasmer　was　gratefully　aware。

She　grew　more　tolerant　of　both　the　Pasmers　as　the　danger　of　greater
intimacy　from　them；　which　seemed　to　threaten　at　first　seemed　to　pass　away。
She　had　not　responded　to　their　advances；　but　there　was　no　reason　why　she
should　not　be　civil　to　them；　there　had　never　been　any　open　quarrel　with
them。　　She　often　found　herself　in　talk　with　them；　and　was　amused　to　note
that　she　was　the　only　Bostonian　whom　they　did　not　keep　aloof　from。

It　could　not　be　said　that　she　came　to　like　either　of　them　better。　　She
still　suspected　Mrs。　Pasmer　of　design；　though　she　developed　none　beyond
manoeuvring　Alice　out　of　the　way　of　people　whom　she　wished　to　avoid；　and
she　still　found　the　girl；　as　she　always　thought　her；　as　egotist；　whose
best　impulses　toward　others　had　a　final　aim　in　herself。　　She　thought　her
very　crude　in　her　ideascruder　than　she　had　seemed　at　Campobello；　where
she　had　perhaps　been　softened　by　her　affinition　with　the　gentler　and
kindlier　nature　of　Dan　Mavering。　　　Mrs。　Brinkley　was　never　tired　of　saying
that　he　had　made　the　most　fortunate　escape　in　the　world；　and　though
Brinkley　owned　he　was　tired　of　hearing　it；　she　continued　to　say　it　with　a
great　variety　of　speculation。　　She　recognised　that　in　most　girls　of
Alice's　age　many　traits　are　in　solution；　waiting　their　precipitation　into
character　by　the　chemical　contact　which　time　and　chances　must　bring；　and
that　it　was　not　fair　to　judge　her　by　the　present　ferment　of　hereditary
tendencies；　but　she　rejoiced　all　the　same　that　it　was　not　Dan　Mavering's
character　which　was　to　give　fixity　to　hers。　　The　more　she　saw　of　the　girl
the　more　she　was　convinced　that　two　such　people　could　only　make　each　other
unhappy；　from　day　to　day；　almost　from　hour　to　hour；　she　resolved　to　write
to　Mavering　and　tell　him　not　to　come。

She　was　sure　that　the　Pasmers　wished　to　have　the　affair　on　again；　and　part
of　her　fascination　with　a　girl　whom　she　neither　liked　nor　approved　was　her
belief　that　Alice's　health　had　broken　under　the　strain　of　her　regrets　and
her　despair。　　She　did　not　get　better　from　the　change　of　air；　she　grew　more
listless　and　languid；　and　more　dependent　upon　Mrs。　Brinkley's　chary
sympathy。　　The　older　woman　asked　herself　again　and　again　what　made　the
girl　cling　to　her？　　Was　she　going　to　ask　her　finally　to　intercede　with
Dan？　or　was　it　really　a　despairing　atonement　to　him；　the　most　disagreeable
sacrifice　she　could　offer；　as　Mr。　Brinkley　had　stupidly　suggested？　　She
believed　that　Alice's　selfishness　and　morbid　sentiment　were　equal　to
either。

Brinkley　generally　took　the　girl's　part　against　his　wife；　and　in　a　heavy
jocose　way　tried　to　cheer　her　up。　　He　did　little　things　for　her；　fetched
and　carried　chairs　and　cushions　and　rugs；　and　gave　his　attentions　the　air
of　pleasantries。　　One　of　his　offices　was　to　get　the　ladies'　letters　for
them　in　the　evening；　and　one　night　he　came　in　beaming　with　a　letter　for
each　of　them　where　they　sat　together　in　the　parlour。　　He　distributed　them
into　their　laps。

〃Hello！　　I've　made　a　mistake；〃　he　said；　putting　down　his　head　to　take　back
the　letter　he　had　dropped　in　Miss　Pasmer's　lap。　　〃I've　given　you　my　wife's
letter。〃

The　girl　glanced　at　it；　gave　a　moaning　kind　of　cry；　and　fell　beak　in　her
chair；　hiding　her　face　in　her　hands。

Mrs。　Brinkley；　possessed　herself　of　the　other　letter；　and；　though　past　the
age　when　ladies　wish　to　kill　their　husbands　for　their　stupidity；　she　gave
Brinkley　a　look　of　massacre　which　mystified　even　more　than　it　murdered　his
innocence。　　He　had　to　learn　later　from　his　wife's　more　elicit　fury　what
the　women　had　all　known　instantly。

He　showed　his　usefulness　in　gathering　Alice　up　and　getting　her　to　her
mother's　room。〃

〃Oh；　Mrs。　Brinkley；〃　implored　Mrs。　Pasmer；　following　her　to　the　door；　〃is
Mr。　Mavering　coming　here？〃

〃I　don't　knowI　can't　sayI　haven't　read　the　letter　yet。〃

〃Oh；　do　let　me　know　when　you've　read　it；　won't　you？　　I　don't　know　what　we
shall　do。〃

Mrs。　Brinkley　read　the　letter　in　her　own　room。　　〃You　go　down；〃　she　said　to
her　husband；　with　unabated　ferocity；　〃and　telegraph　Dan　Mavering　at
Wormley's　not　to　came。　　Say　we're　going　away　at　once。〃

Then　she　sent　Mrs。　Pasmer　a　slip　of　paper　on　which　she　had　written；　〃Not
coming。〃

It　has　been　the　experience　of　every　one　to　have　some　alien　concern　come
into　his　life　and　torment　him　with　more　anxiety　than　any　affair　of　his
ovn。　　This　is；　perhaps；　a　hint　from　the　infinite　sympathy　which　feels　for
us　all　that　none　of　us　can　hope　to　free　himself　from　the　troubles　of
others；　that　we　are　each　bound　to　each　by　ties　which；　for　the　most　part；
we　cannot　perceive；　but　which；　at　the　moment　their　stress　comes；　we　cannot
break。

Mrs。　Brinkley　lay　awake　and　raged　impotently　against　her　complicity　with
the　unhappiness　of　that　distasteful　girl　and　her　more　than　distasteful
mother。　　In　her　revolt　against　it　she　renounced　the　interest　she　had　felt
in　that　silly　boy；　and　his　ridiculous　love　business；　so　really　unimportant
to　her　whatever　turn　it　took。　　She　asked　herself　what　it　mattered　to　her
whether　those　children　marred　their　lives　one　way　or　another　way。　　There
was　a　lurid　moment　before　she　slept　when　she　wished　Brinkley　to　go　down
and　recall　her　telegram；　but　he　refused　to　be　a　fool　at　so　much
inconvenience　to　himself。

Mrs。　Brinkley　came　to　breakfast　feeling　so　much　more　haggard　than　she
found　either　of　the　Pasmers　looking；　that　she　was　able　to　throw　off　her
lingering　remorse　for　having　told　Mavering　not　to　come。　　She　had　the
advantage　also　of　doubt　as　to　her　precise　motive　in　having　done　so；　she
had　either　done　so　because　she　had　judged　it　best　for　him　not　to　see　Miss
Pasmer　again；　or　else　she　had　done　so　to　relieve　the　girl　from　the　pain　of
an　encounter　which　her　mother　evidently　dreaded　for　her。　　If　one　motive
seemed　at　moments　outrageously　meddling　and　presumptuous；　the　other　was　so
nobly　good　and　kind　that　it　more　than　counterbalanced　it　in　Mrs。
Brinkley's　mind；　who　knew　very　well　in　spite　of　her　doubt　that　she　had；
acted　from　a　mixture　of　both。　　With　this　conviction；　it　was　both　a　comfort
and　a　pang　to　find　by　the　register　of　the　hotel；　which　she　furtively
consulted；　that　Dan　had　not　arrived　by　the　morning　boat；　as　she
groundlessly　feared　and　hoped　he　might　have　done。

In　any　case；　however；　and　at　the　end　of　all　the　ends；　she　had　that　girl　on
her　hands　more　than　ever；　and　believing　as　she　did　that　Dan　and　Alice　had
only　to　meet　in　order　to　be　reconciled；　she　felt　that　the　girl　whom　she
had　balked　of　her　prey　was　her　innocent　victim。　　What　right　had　she　to
interfere？　　Was　he　not　her　natural　prey？　　If　he　liked　being　a　prey；　who
was　lawfully　to　forbid　him？　　He　was　not　perfect；　he　would　know　how　to　take
care　of　himself　probably；　in　marriage　things　equalised　themselves。　　She
looked　at　the　girl's　thin　cheeks　and　lack…lustre　eyes；　and　pitied　and
hated　her　with　that　strange　mixture　of　feeling　which　our　victims　aspire　in
us。

She　walked　out　on　the　verandah　with　the　Pasmers　after　breakfast；　and
chatted　a　while　about　indifferent　things；　and　Alice　made　an　effort　to
ignore　the　event　of　the　night　before　with　a　pathos　which　wrung　Mrs。
Brinkley's　heart；　and　with　a　gay　resolution　which　ought　to　have　been　a
great　pleasure　to　such　a　veteran　dissembler　as　her　mother。　　She　said　she
had　never　found　the　air　so　delicious；　she　really　believed　it　would　begin
to　do　her　good　now；　but　it　was　a　little　fresh　just　there；　and　with　her
eyes　she　invited　her　mother　to　come　with　her　round　the　corner　into　that
sheltered　recess；　and　invited　Mrs。　Brinkley　not　to　come。

It　was　that　effect　of　resentment　which　is　lighter　even　than　a　touch；　the
waft　of　the　arrow's　feather；　but　it　could　wound　a　guilty　heart；　and　Mrs。
Brinkley　sat　down　where　she　was；　realising　with　a　pang　that　the　time　when
she　might　have　been　everything　to　this　unhappy　girl　had　just　passed　for
ever；　and　henceforth　she　could　be　nothing。　　She　remained　musing　sadly　upon
the　contradictions　she　had　felt　in　the　girl's　character；　the　confusion　of
good　and　evil；　the　potentialities　of　misery　and　harm；　the　potentialities
of　bliss　and　good；　and　she　felt　less　and　less　satisfied　with　herself。　　She
had　really　presumed　to　interfere　with　Fate；　perhaps　she　had　interfered
with　Providence。　　She　would　have　given　anything　to　recall　her　act；　and
then　with　a　flash　she　realised　that　it　was　quite　possible　to　recall　it。
She　could　telegraph　Mavering　to　come；　and　she　rose；　humbly　and　gratefully；
as　if　from　an　answered　prayer；　to　go　and　do　so。

She　was　not　at　all　a　young　woman；　and　many　things　had　come　and　gone　in　her
life　that　ought　to　have　fortified　her　against　surprise；　but　she　wanted　to
scream　like　a　little　frightened　girl　as　Dan　Mavering　stepped　out　of　the
parlour　door　toward　her。　　The　habit　of　not　screaming；　however；　prevailed；
and　she　made　a　tolerably　successful　effort　to　treat　him　with　decent
composure。　　She　gave　him　a　rigid　hand。　　〃Where　in　the　world　did　you　come
from？　　Did　you　get　my　telegram？〃

〃No。　　Did　you　get　my　letter？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Well；　I　took　a　notion　to　come　right　on　after　I　wrote；　and　I　started　on
the　same　train　with　it。　　But　they　said　it　was　no　use　trying　to　get　into
the　Hygeia；　and　I　stopped　last　night　at　the　little　hotel　in　Hampton。　　I've
just　walked　over；　and　Mr。　Brinkley　told　me　you　were　out　here　somewhere。
That's　the　whole　story；　I　believe。〃　　He　gave　his　nervous　laugh；　but　it
seemed　to　Mrs。　Brinkley　that　it　had　not　much　joy　in　it。

〃Hush！〃　she　said　involuntarily；　receding　to　her　chair　and　sinking　back
into　it　again。　　He　looked　surprised。　　〃You　know　the　Van　Hooks　are　gone？〃

He　laughed　harshly。　　〃I　should　think　they　were　dead　from　your　manner；　Mrs。
Brinkley。　　But　I　didn't　come　to　see　the　Van　Hooks。　　What　made　you　think　I
did？〃

He　gave　her　a　look　which　she　found　so　dishonest；　so　really　insincere；　that
she　resolved　to　abandon　him　to　Providence　as　soon　as　she　could。　　〃Oh；　I
didn't　know　but　there　had　been　some　little　understanding　at　Washington。〃

〃Perhaps　on　their　part。　　They　were　people　who　seemed　to　take　a　good　many
things　for　granted；　but　they　could　hardly　expect　to　control　other　people's
movements。〃

He　looked　sharply　at　Mrs。　Brinkley；　as　if　to　question　how　much　she　knew；
but　she　had　now　measured　him；　and　she　said；　〃Oh！　then　the　visit's　to　me？〃

〃Entirely；〃　cried　Dan。　　The　old　sweetness　came　into　his　laughing　eyes
again；　and　went　to　Mrs。　Brinkley's　heart。　　She　wished　him　to　be　happy；
somehow；　she　would　have　done　anything　for　him；　she　wished　she　knew　what　to
do。　　Ought　she　to　tell　him　the　Pasmers　were　there？　　Ought　she　to　make　up
some　excuse